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The Order meeting at Marlene’s safehouse was about exactly as frustrating as Remus imagined it would be. There’d been almost no movement in terms of capturing death eaters, or at least getting some information on their next moves, and everyone was growing increasingly antsy regarding the so-called prophecy that Trelawney had told Dumbledore about.
Remus had been perched on the arm of Marlene’s sofa for nearly twenty minutes and his hip was beginning to release agonising sparks of pain up his spine and down his left leg. He hadn’t bought his cane, he rarely did when he was around the Order, and even the simple apparition from his and Sirius’ flat to Marlene’s had left him feeling unsteady. He’d been unable to move to the little sofa where the heavily pregnant Lily and Alice were sat, and anyway, he figured they probably needed to sit even more than he did. Everyone else was either crouched on the floor or stood haphazardly, leaning against various pieces of furniture in the cramped living room of Marlene’s one-bed. Remus shifted uncomfortably, trying to ease the sting and silently work up the courage to ask Frank Longbottom for his chair, he being the only other person seated. He was moments away from tapping Frank’s shoulder when he was stirred out of his inner monologue by Sirius asking a question that he hadn’t quite caught.
“Huh? Sorry, I was just in my own world for a moment.” He fidgeted some more on the sofa’s arm and Sirius’ eyed him suspiciously.
“I just asked if there was something you wanted to share about the next moon?”
Remus was silent, his mind felt clouded by the pain coursing through his joints and all of Sirius’ words were taking double the time for his mind to process. There was a beat, everyone turning to look at Remus expectantly, and Sirius prompted again.
“The thing we talked about, Remus.”
“Oh, yeah.” He suddenly found his words again. “Er, I think I’m gonna need to sit out of spending this Sunday’s moon with Greyback’s pack.” He paused for a moment, thinking about how he should choose his words. “The last one was kind of rough and I just need one moon off… I can be back at it next month, I swear.”
It was Moody who spoke first. “Son, we’re so close to getting somewhere with them. You really can’t do Sunday?”
Remus wasn’t prepared to have to fight his case, Sirius had made it sound so easy to say when they’d discussed it that morning. He just had that quality of ease about him though, like every word he spoke was sugary and palatable, Remus thought it could be both a blessing and a curse sometimes.
“I mean, maybe-” Remus couldn’t bring himself to argue. Surely he could do just one more moon with the pack, if his hip got messed up again he was sure he’d be able to fix it. He’d make sure to be more careful with his apparating. Yes he could do it. Maybe. Could he?
Sirius interrupted. “Moody, no. He’s not doing it.”
“Black this is no business of yours. Lupin, I’ll ask you again.”
Remus felt his palms growing sweatier and he wasn’t sure if it was the pain or the nerves he felt from talking to Moody. He knew they were on the same side, but he’d admit it— the man was scary.
“Of course it’s my business!” Sirius was growing more agitated. “He’s-” He cut himself off and Remus, for a second, wondered if Sirius was about to call Remus his boyfriend in front of the whole Order. The thought didn’t completely mortify him, in fact there was something sort of endearing about it, boyfriend. But he couldn’t, not here and not now. Remus pushed the notion out of his head as Sirius composed himself and continued. “He’s fucked up his hip. It’s not happening. If something goes wrong there’s no way he’ll be able to get himself back to London without fucking, I dunno, bleeding out or something!”
Moody swallowed and stayed quiet a moment before directing his attention back to Remus.
“You hurt yourself last time, Lupin?”
“Yeah. Just a dislocation, s’fine now sort of. But, yeah, I think I do need one moon off.”
“Okay, fine. Done. We’ll discuss again in a couple of weeks what’ll happen in August.”
“Yes sir.” Remus nodded and exhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.
The room stirred once again, James agitatedly firing questions at the older members and Lily and Peter trying to cool him off with uncertain reassurances. Amongst the chaos, Sirius moved a couple of steps until he was next to Remus, leaning down to whisper to him.
“You in pain?”
“No, no, fine.” He wasn’t about to admit it. Not even to Sirius.
“Lu, c’mon, you don’t have to fake it with me. Switch seats with Frank.”
At the mention of his name, Frank swung round to face the other two men. “You want to sit Lupin? Sorry, I should’ve offered.”
Remus smiled politely, grateful for the act, but he couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in his chest that maybe this is what his life was now. People seeing him differently, as weak, as unable. He shook it off and pushed himself up and onto the wooden chair. His hip twinged but then the pain began to abate just slightly, clearly thankful for the flat surface and pressure off of his leg.
“Thanks Frank.” Frank smiled and nodded before refocusing his attention towards the group’s discussion.
Sirius placed a hand on Remus’ shoulder, letting it linger for just a few seconds more than was really necessary. When he finally rescinded it, Remus grieved the warmth, the pressure and the tangible presence of Sirius right beside him. He felt the clouds in his head gradually dissipate, along with the majority of the pain, and he tuned back into the conversation.
“No, no. I want to know more about this prophecy!” James practically spat the words, and Remus couldn’t blame him.
Dumbledore’s whole cloak and dagger act surrounding this so-called prophecy was growing boring. He couldn’t imagine having a wife, and soon a baby, and dealing with all these unanswered questions. Sometimes Remus forgot that James was twenty, that he and all of his friends were too. Time had moved strangely since leaving Hogwarts and he felt simultaneously ancient and yet also entirely inexperienced and unprepared. These last few weeks he’d never wished more that his mum was still here, that he could just go back to Cardiff and spend a day with her like he did as a kid.
He thought back to that first ever journey to Hogwarts nearly ten years ago, stepping into the train carriage that eleven year old James Potter had been sat in and remembered how he watched as James and Peter playfully bickered over their chocolate frog cards. James was still that exact same boy, same frustrated frown on his face and little eyebrow twitch he got when he was worked up. But also that same big heart. James Potter, soon-to-be father. Remus couldn’t believe it, but he was thrilled, they all needed something good, something, or he supposed someone, to be hopeful for.
“We’re not talking about this, Potter.” It was Kingsley speaking now. “Just trust us, okay, we’re keeping things under control.”
“Just tell me my family’s going to be safe. Do we need to leave London? Because we will.” James’ voice had a twinge of desperation and Lily reached over to hold his hand.
“Protections are in place and all your safehouses are under countless charms. If more needs to be done, we will let you know when the time comes.” Kingsley spoke slowly, emphasising every word, presumably trying to make sure James was listening. It seemed to work and James quietened down, still holding Lily’s hand. Remus wished he could do that with Sirius, so easy and so obvious.
The meeting concluded and people began to leave, either apparating or using Marlene’s floo system. Frank and Alice were first to leave, choosing to floo together rather than apparate, Remus guessed it must be sort of risky if you’re pregnant. The older members all apparated away within seconds and James and Lily said their quick goodbyes to Remus before also leaving through the fireplace.
Remus went to stand up, barely moving up an inch before promptly sitting back down and almost letting out a groan, which he stifled at the last second. His hip and leg felt completely locked and he tentatively tried to bend his knee which sent shivers of pain up his whole left side. Maybe he’d been sat still for too long. This injury was really starting to irk him. He decided to stay sat for another moment, lightly massaging his hip and waiting for Sirius who was saying his goodbyes to Marlene before they went home. The three of them were the only people left in the flat.
Sirius walked back over to Remus. “Ready to go? We should probably floo, might be easier.”
“I can’t get up.”
“What? Oh, er-”
“Just, I dunno, I think I’ve been sat still too long or something.” Remus reached out a hand for Sirius to grab and hoisted him back into standing position with a grimace. He felt a thin sheen of sweat across his back and forehead and prayed he didn’t look as bad as he felt. Once stood, Sirius kept an arm loosely around his waist, his hand a welcome warmth against his back. At least if Marlene saw she wouldn’t think anything of it— just a mate helping out another mate. Which of course it was in a way, but Remus felt it was also more than simply practical and he knew Sirius did too.
“Okay we’ll be off. Good to see you Marls, as always.” Remus waved.
“And you guys. Keep in touch if you can.”
“Of course.” Remus felt a pang of guilt, he and Sirius hadn’t exactly been good at maintaining regular contact with anyone except for Order-related business. He made a mental note to borrow somebody’s owl and write to her. He wished more of his friends knew how to use a bloody telephone, it’d make life a lot easier.
“It’s weird living alone now, after dorming in Hogwarts and then those months in the Bethnal Green safehouse with you two and the others. Kinda got used to the constant company. It’s lonely here.”
“I get you. I liked it too.” Sirius smiled at her.
“How about we stay for a bit longer, maybe Sirius’ll even help you wash up everyone’s mugs.” Remus winked at her and Sirius took that as his cue to tentatively loosen his hold on Remus’ waist and gather up all the dirty mugs with his wand, sending them flying into the sink. They landed with a light clatter and he followed them into the kitchen to finish up the job.
“Yeah, lovely, please do stay. Want to sit over here?” She motioned to the sofa she was now curled up in the corner of with a fleece blanket. Remus nodded, checking his balance before beginning to limp the short distance, using the back of the chair as support. Marlene tried to look like she wasn’t watching him and analysing every painful step he took, but nonetheless Remus felt her eyes upon him. He dissolved into the sofa and Marlene tossed some of the blanket over his legs.
“You’re limping badly.”
Remus laughed, both shocked and awed by her dryness. Marlene might have been the most upfront person he knew, and he lived with Sirius.
“Is it because of the moon on Sunday? Or the hip issue you said about?”
“Hah, can it be both?” He leant his head back and pressed a hand against his hip under the blanket, grateful she couldn’t see. Stretching his legs out was helping the pain. “No, it’s mostly the hip thing. I thought I sorted it the day after the full when it dislocated but apparently it’s still fucked.”
“That sucks. For the record, I think it’s good you told Moody you need a break.”
“Yeah, thank you.” Remus smiled.
“Should you even be walking on it?” She questioned, tone free of judgement but full of concern.
“Hmm, probably not.” It was something Sirius had pointed out innumerable times over the last couple of weeks and yet not something Remus had let linger in his mind. Around their flat he used the cane when necessary, and honestly he rarely needed to go out anymore and walk for long periods of time. “But oh well, gotta just work through it.”
Marlene hummed, unconvinced. “I have some salve that might help. I’ll grab it for you before you go. My mum made it for my aunt, she’s in medicine and healing, loves plants and herbs and shit. She’s been working on some different versions of it for a while, trying to relieve severe muscle pain.” She noticed the slight skepticism on Remus’ face and continued, “Don’t worry I’m not trying to give you something uselessly weak.”
Remus laughed again. “Am I really that obvious? But no, in all seriousness, that sounds great, I’d be grateful to try it. Maybe I’ll be a good case study for your mum’s drug trials.” Marlene laughed this time and stood up to retrieve the salve.
She returned a moment later, Sirius just behind her, his sleeves rolled up and his hands still wet and bubbly. “Please tell me she’s talking some sense into you about that bloody hip. Marls, I keep saying-”
Remus cut him off, the wet hands sparking his curiosity. “You washed up the muggle way?” Sirius’ lips curved up into a smile.
“Well, someone’s, always telling me about the benefits. Thought I’d give it a go.”
Remus thought back to a couple of days ago when he’s been complaining about the sterility of magic and how he missed the mundane beauty of soapy dishes sparkling with rainbows on the draining board, like in his childhood home. Plus, he was sure cleaning the magic way never quite got rid of all the tea stains on white china.
“It was actually quite therapeutic.” Sirius said, wiping his wet hands on his trousers as Marlene held out the tub of salve to Remus.
“Just use enough to cover the area and then reapply whenever it wears off. Mum says it varies depending on the person and the pain, obviously. See what works for you.” She tossed it to Remus who inspected the little label, a hand-drawn image of a eucalyptus plant and a title that read Dr. McKinnon’s Muscle Magic.
“And she’s artsy too!” Remus said with a smile, signalling to the label. “Thank you again Marls, I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Without a word, Sirius walked over, reaching out a hand to help Remus up. It proved slightly easier than earlier, now that he’d been able to stretch his legs.
“Right, let’s make a move.” Sirius gave Marlene a quick hug and Remus waved before they made their way to the fireplace together. Before they knew it, both boys were back in their own living room, the record player still crackling where they hadn’t removed the record from earlier.
Sirius glanced at the clock. “Ugh, how’s it only nine am. Why are the Order meetings always so bloody early!” He groaned before turning around to face Remus, grabbing both of his hands, a playful look spreading across his face. “Fancy a bath and back to bed?”
“Ugh, you read my mind Pads.”
They moved together into the bathroom, Sirius’ hand back around Remus’ waist, as natural and easy as anything.