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The phone rings at eight in the damn morning. “Tetchou?” My voice is tired and sleepy as hell. I was just taking a piss, and I planned to go right back to bed after this. “Hi Teruko, is this you?” Unlike me, he sounds fresh, and energized. Is that you Teruko? My ass. Of course it’s me idiot! “Yes, it’s me.” I rub my eyes and take off my pants, sitting on my toilet and letting the piss free. “What do you want?” I hear a pause on the line. “Could you make a reservation at Oriental Spoon for fifteen people?” My jaw drops to the floor. I’m sure as hell awake now. “F…fifteen people?” I clarify. “Yeah. Fifteen people.” Why on earth would Tetchou, a man with no immediate family, require a reservation for fifteen people. “Why..? Are we having a party or something?” And even if we, as the Hunting Dogs, were to have a party, almost all of us don’t have family! And who is Tachihara gonna invite? The Black Lizard? That would blow his cover almost instantly! Well almost all of us is the key word.
Jouno, the angel of the Hunting Dogs, according to public view, has the biggest family I have ever seen in my damn life. He has three siblings, all of which are married and have children, and his grandparents are still alive, meaning his parents are still alive by extension. Including Tetchou and Jouno… to make a restaurant reservation they would need to have a reservation for…
Fourteen people.
“And Teruko, you’re coming too.” I didn’t have a damn choice. I was going whether I wanted to or not. That’s why he needed fifteen people. Because Jouno’s family is coming too. I have never, in my life, met Jouno Saigiku’s family. I wasn’t planning to meet Jouno’s family today of all days.
I stumble off the toilet the second Tetchou hangs up on me, and I go on over to the shower, not even bothering to detangle my hair or prepare an outfit for when I get out. The only details Tetchou told me “Call Oriental Spoon and set up a reservation for fifteen people at 12 noon.” And then he hung up. He didn’t even give me time to ask, or clarify, or anything! The stupid aluminum-foil hair ass dude thinks he’s the damn prime minister!
In my haste to get ready, I completely forgot to make the reservation. I check my phone, clad in nothing but a towel and I type in the number of the restaurant with my pruny fingers. “Hi, is this Oriental Spoon?” I ask the second they pick up. It doesn’t even occur to me that not saying ‘hello’ and getting straight to the point is probably rude, but right now I don’t really give a shit. “Yes, this is the manager of Oriental Spoon.” She sounds so sleepy. I wonder wh… oh. I check the time on the clock in my bathroom, YES I have a clock in my bathroom, shut up. 8:30 AM. “Uhh… ma’am?” I snap out of my zoning out. “Can I call you back once I reach my work place? We don’t… we don’t open until 9 AM and I just got out of the shower.” Oh. Oh shit. “Oh! Uhh… I’m so sorry..! I really didn’t kno—“ “May I chat you once I reach the restaurant?” I can feel the flush crawling up my neck. “Yes… yes of course.” And with that, the line goes cold.
I spend the thirty minutes getting dressed in my uniform, and styling my hair. I don’t care about makeup, and I don’t know anything about Oriental Spoon so I assume that it’s probably just some kind of middle-end Chinese or Asian restaurant.
My god was I wrong.
A bit of background, we, as the Hunting Dogs, make a lot of money. As in, millionaires type of money. Because if we’re slaving away for the government to uphold justice, then it is expected that we get paid very well or else we will riot. By we, I mean me. And since the government is desperate to keep us happy, our salaries are extremely high, which keeps me happy and the rest of the Hunting Dogs get to live with the perks.
Now Tetchou is a weird ass guy. I thought he’d spend the extra money on… I don’t know… eggs with the shells on! Or other things to make food combos that would drive his boyfriend— no, I mean Jouno completely insane. But there is only one thought that goes through me the second I pull up the damn restaurant.
WHAT. THE. HELL.
There is an ice sculpture inside. How do I know there is an ice sculpture inside, when I am outside? Because it is a MASSIVE ice sculpture. It’s got all the fixtures and everything! Then I spot Jouno, all sunshine and rainbows with his Paedyn Gray of a boyfriend—no, apoloGAYS, partner, colleague, whatever, next to him. And I assume that the rest of Jouno’s family is inside the restaurant.
“Teruko!” Jouno grins as he waves at me. His black-and-blue hair is a lot less messy than usual, though it’s still kinda mussed up. And like always, it is perfectly clean. You know, I don’t get how easily Jouno can wash the blood off his hair. We have the same hair color! Or… my entire head is blue and his tips are blue but my point still stands! How does he get it out? “Hi Jouno.” I say as we walk into the restaurant. “Hi Tetchou.” Jouno just smiles while Tetchou gives me a nod.
I go through the motions with Jouno’s family, making sure to be polite and everything. It seems I’m doing a much better job at this than Tetchou, who is brooding in his corner as always, being dragged around by his actual sunshine of a boyfriend as per usual.
But then we get to ordering. I am hungry. Very hungry. Jouno on the other hand doesn’t look as hungry. Or hungry at all. Come to think about it, this is the first time I’m seeing Jouno eat I believe. There was part of me that thought he received his food intravenously for some reason. But apparently he eats.
“Can we look at the fish?” I groan as they finish ordering. “Yeah! Come on.” Jouno rises from his seat and beckons me over to the fish area. It’s like a damn aquarium to be honest. Since all these fish and creatures are probably all gonna be eaten, I would assume that the conditions in which they are kept are the most bare minimum enclosures ever. But no. Because Chinese people can’t seem to deal with everything not being perfectly, aesthetically pleasing. And for some reason, they gotta make that everyone’s problem!
So now I’m looking at the fish. I’m really happy looking at the fish. My face is pressed up against the glass and I’m perfectly content.
Then once the meal wraps up:
“Teruko, come with us to their home town. They said they wanted to show you something.” I don’t have a choice..! Oh great…
I don’t have anything to do the rest of the day, so they just drag me around the entirety of Tokyo to Yokohama to Tokyo back to Yokohama until before I know it, it’s 12 AM the next day!
And once I’m completely, physically, mentally exhausted, and half asleep on the train, Tetchou says something to me. “Would you mind doing this again Teruko?” And against all better judgement; because judgement doesn’t exist when your friend called you up 16 hours ago demanding, not asking, demanding that you a) make him and his boyfriend—no, colleague’s family a reservation at a high end restaurant for more people than there are on your ENTIRE TEAM; and b) drags you around on a wild game of pingpong between two cities one hour by train and 2 hours by road, with said colleague’s entire family. So instead of the “No Suehiro Tetchou! I wouldn’t like to do that! I would much rather, spend my very lazy Saturday mornings, drinking coffee, and frolicking around in a park or whatever instead of third wheeling your date with our OTHER colleague!” I was planning to say, instead I said “Huh? No I don’t mind…”
And my god. I did not know what I was getting into.