Chapter Text
It was just a stupid picture.
Idia gripped his phone as he stared at his magicam, pausing his senseless procrastinative doomscrolling.
Rolling over on his side, eyes remained trained on the screen that displayed a simple post of Scarabia’s housewarden- Kalim- along with a handful of others.
Stupid extroverts. He could never understand how they could enjoy their stupid parties or whatever. They were all just total NPC’s- normies who couldn’t understand his elite lifestyle!
Idia didn’t need any friends, he didn’t need any of that normie nonsense to be happy. He already had everything he needed.
His eyes fixated on one of the attending students, cheerfully poised in the background of the photo, Their red makeup vibrant as it had always been. Cater. His hair’s hue slowly shifted to a much warmer tone than he would have liked.
It took him but a second to hit ‘Not interested.’.
Switching the screen off, he rolled over once again, letting his arm fall to his side.
Were things ever going to change?
Was he just going to spend every day rotting and useless? Yeah, he could make little computer programs, experiments and whatnot but what would that matter if noone remembered him? What he made- Who he was.
Unable to stay without stimulation for long, he scrambled for his phone once again, unlocking it and checking his notifications for the fifth time in the past few hours.
He wasn't sure what he was waiting for. Another invitation to turn down? Someone reaching out, someone he'd inevitably come to lose, proving that someone truly did care. But he didn't want that right?
Unsurprisingly, it was rather void. A new limited event banner of characters he didn’t really care for, a few likes on his tech & anime blog…
1 message from ‘Muscle Red’.
Idia softened, he was supposed to clear some event levels with them tonight! Ashamed at the realization he had almost forgotten, he tapped on the notification.
“My sincerest apologies Gloomrai, but i won’t make it tonight, something urgent requires my attention and i fear We’ll have to reschedule to tomorrow.”
The smile he didn’t notice that had formed disappeared.
“It’s all chill, stuff happens. Cya tmrow Red!”
He sighed laying his phone on his chest and letting his eyelids fall shut.
He wasn’t upset- He understood that others had more going on than he did and he didn't hold it against them. Red always came through in the end and sometimes it seemed they were the only person who actually valued Idia's presence. Yet he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed. Ortho had gone to a housewarden’s meeting in his stead as Idia simply “Hadn’t been feeling well.” Which had been only half true. And would most probably be pestering some other, more lively students afterwards and wouldn't return to their dorm until late.
As much as he hated admitting it- hated the mere thought, he found himself wishing he was a little more like all the perky normies sometimes- just sometimes- just a little. He wishes he had someone. Just so maybe he wouldn’t be so alone. Just so he had something to do. Just to have someone.
Idia squeezed his pillow, a SFW bodypillow of a seemingly generic anime boy he found himself admiring, holding it like one would hold another, a lover.
His thoughts flickered to the stupid cheery NPC.
He pressed his face against the pillow, softly inhaling the scent of a floral laundry detergent.
Would his body be warm? Would his embrace warm his cold skin and frigid heart? Be his only solace in such a world full of total haters, who wanted nothing more than to ruin his peace and quiet?
He knows it’ll never happen.
Idia scowls, letting go of the pillow and abruptly sat up, weighted blanket rolling off his torso with a thump.
He’s a idiot for even imagining such a pathetic scenario. Cater probably hated him. They just kept trying to interact with him to mock him. Why would anyone want to even be near such a zero charisma build like Idia’s?
And yet, what if they didn’t? What if he did have a chance?
Ortho always says he needs to talk to more people, and that if he really tried he could “befriend the whole school!” What a nightmare… And maybe his companionship with Red proved he could talk to people.
His eyes flicker to his phone for a moment, considering the possibilities of their dialogue tree.
Cautiously opening his phone and digging through contacts, he found the one he was looking for. “Cay-cay <>” As Cater had saved themselves on his phone after pretty much forcing Idia to exchange their phone numbers in the past.
“Hey. Hru?”
Despite sending the blandest- safest message he possibly could, he felt the immediate regret and fear of his action wash over him and utterly overwhelm him.
Why did he do that? Sevens, did he come off too passive aggressive? What if he says something stupid? Caters surely busy- what if he's being a bother?
Idia tensed as he quickly deleted the message, haphazardly throwing his phone to the other side of his bed. He got up, his vision swimming as dizziness overtook him for but a moment before he adjusted and slinked over to his cluttered and rather disgusting desk. Collapsing onto his gaming chair he lazily shoved the mess of trash, cans and notes aside. He’d clean it up later.
He felt sick. What was he thinking?
He needed something- anything just to make it stop, to make the thoughts stop, to make everything okay.
Slipping his hands under the sleeves of his hoodie, they weakly pressed and scratched against the healed scars.
Slumped over the messy desk, Idia tensed and froze as he heard a familiar chirp from where his phone laid.