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“That’s a cute pen,” Saho said as she walked past where her brother was sitting on couch in their house, fiddling with the pink octopus pen while holding his notebook and watching television. “Where’d you get it?”
Hirose blinked and looked down at the pen rather than just fiddling with it. It was the one Nakamura had given him. Hirose didn’t want to use it to avoid emptying it, but he’d figured out they could be refilled if you went to the right store. “A friend gave it to me.” He thought of Nakamura’s shy and nervous expression when he’d gifted it, and it made Hirose’s face warm a bit.
“Oh?” Saho asked, with an odd tone in her voice. When her brother looked up at her, Saho’s eyes were narrow, and she was grinning. “A friend? A girl, maybe?”
Hirose glared at her, thinking she was drawing way too much into it. “No!”
“Oh of course not,” Saho chuckled. “My mistake.”
Hirose felt she had the wrong idea about all this, but he wasn’t sure how to correct her without making things worse. She’d likely just take it as proof she was correct.
“Perhaps you’ll get something special on Valentine’s Day this year,” Saho said with a warm smile. “If your friend is still feeling generous.”
Hirose hadn’t thought of that. He was still focused on the pen. “I don’t know…”
“Well, you can always give your friend something back, too,” Saho said. “Friend chocolate is nice. Even if you want to do it Valentine’s Day. Guys are doing it a lot more now, aren’t they?”
Hirose’s face warmed in slight embarrassment. “I don’t know…” The idea of giving Nakamura chocolate was strange… What if he took it the wrong way?
Hirose still remembered the conversation he’d had with Mukai during lunch the day after their last study session and outing, when Takeuchi had vanished to go do something for Hamaoke.
“You really like Nakamura, huh?” Mukai had asked as they sat around, with the chatter of the classroom all around them.
Hirose had blinked at him for the out of the blue question. “What?”
“You haven’t invited anyone new to sit with us or go out with us in ages,” Mukai said. “And you were kind of all over him, so…”
“He’s a nice guy,” Hirose had replied, unsure where Mukai was going with this. “And he’s easy to talk to. And fun to hang out with. Is it… a problem?” He wondered if he was being too pushy and Mukai was giving him a hint.
“No,” Mukai said. “He’s fine. It’s just… different, is all.”
“Different how?”
Mukai shrugged, as if that explained anything.
Hirose had thought back on his behavior, if he’d really been all over Nakamura. And he supposed he kind of had been? He’d just wanted to make sure Nakamura was comfortable hanging out with them, since he was kind of nervous a lot, usually kept to himself, and didn’t seem to get along with Takeuchi.
And Hirose had really wanted Nakamura to have fun with them. Not just because Nakamura hanging out with them had made Hirose feel less alone, but because it was nice to see Nakamura relax and have fun.
Hirose rolled the pen in his hands now, and thought of his crab keychain, both gifts from Nakamura, and wondered, Would friend chocolate be bad? He wouldn’t think it’s me being weird or anything… He just wanted the other boy to feel more at ease, the way Nakamura had helped back during the field trip.
Seeing Nakamura in class every day didn’t help, because Hirose didn’t feel comfortable bringing it up. It almost seemed silly to fuss over.
It had been bothering him again when he nearly walked into Nakamura coming out of the classroom one day, not even realizing it. Funnier, still, Nakamura had a bizarre new haircut that made him almost unrecognizable, and left Hirose staring after him, confused, until he realized who he was looking at.
I can’t believe I didn’t recognize him, Hirose thought as he sat down at his desk. Should I ask what happened? Is it a new look? It wasn’t bad, just different… Hirose had suggested Nakamura cut his bangs, after all, though this seemed a bit of a startling change…
And when Nakamura returned to the classroom, Hirose got a better look, and slowly adjusted.
I miss how he used to look, Hirose thought. Then he winced. I mean, if this is what he wants, then…
He was just glad they weren’t talking. He wanted to be supportive, not pushy.
I should get him something, Hirose thought. Friend chocolate doesn’t sound like a bad idea…
But he also wasn’t that good a cook, and didn’t want Saho to know what he was doing. So he reached out to Otogiri-sensei, for ideas.
“Preparing for White Day, huh?” Otogiri asked with a smirk as he sat at his desk in the teacher’s lounge and looked up at Hirose. Thankfully there weren’t many other people around to hear their conversation.
“…Maybe,” Hirose replied with mild frustration. He didn’t like when Otogiri-sensei teased him.
“Chocolate’s pretty expensive, especially these days,” Otogiri said as he turned to his computer to go to the Internet. “But there are some places you can try that might be manageable with a student allowance, even though you don’t have a job.”
Hirose took note of where Otogiri showed him, and made plans to go visit and see what was there. Even if he ended up getting nothing, it couldn’t hurt, right?
But I can’t take Omori, Hirose thought as he returned to class. He’ll ask who it’s for, and I don’t want to lie to him.
So he went on his own, hoping no one else would be around. And he found lots of nice-looking chocolates, some of which were pretty pricey. The store itself was pretty and full of friendly clerks and people on dates or shopping for their own loved ones. Hirose felt a bit out of place.
But then he saw a set of blue chocolates, looking almost like bubbles, with silver and orange flakes on them. And they were coffee flavored.
He loves octopus, Hirose thought as he gazed at the chocolates. So something with a water theme, kind of, works. And he likes coffee. Maybe he’d like these, too?
They weren’t too pricey, either, so he got some before he lost his nerve and headed home, with them wrapped up in a nice little white box with a silver ribbon on it.
It’s a thank you for the pen, Hirose thought as he watched the sun going down. I don’t have to tell him what I thought of his hair. Nakamura had been growing it out again, anyway, thankfully.
But when the day arrived, he hadn’t figured out how to hand the gift over. He didn’t want Mukai or Takeuchi to make some weird comment about it, or for Omori to ask about it. And while other people were handing them out in class, Hirose didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and maybe embarrass Nakamura. After all, the guy was really shy.
That was when he noticed some girls putting them into shoe lockers, and he realized, Oh, I could do that. It was too late now, but he could do it before he left for the day, and Nakamura would see it in the morning.
Hope he doesn’t find it weird, Hirose thought as he walked over to the teacher’s lounge to thank Otogiri for showing him the store.
But as he was leaving the lounge, Hana from Class 1 stopped him and asked, “Ah, Aiki-kun, may I talk to you after school?”
Hirose blinked at her in surprise. “Sure!” They talked to each other for class council every now and then, but he didn’t remember there being any issues to worry about.
She smiled brightly at him and waved as she turned and walked off.
“You want to go out with me?” Hirose asked, surprised. And he realized he was clutching the bag of chocolates Hana had handed to him as they stood in the empty school hall.
Hana smiled up at him, and her cheeks were pink. “Yeah!”
Hirose had never had anyone ask him out before, though he’d seen it happen. He kept to himself, and girls were usually interested in other people.
I should be happy, shouldn’t I? He thought. This was a thing guys his age did. It was something Takeuchi never shut up about. But he felt…
He wasn’t sure.
But Hana was still smiling at him, though she looked a little worried at his silence.
“Sure!” Hirose said before he realized it. “I’ll go out with you.”
Hana’s face lit up. It was the right answer.
It’s not bad to give it a shot, right? Hirose thought as Hana ran off to go meet up with some other girls who were waiting for her, then burst into excited noises when she spoke with them. I can see what Takeuchi’s so into, I guess…
Hirose put the chocolates in his bag and slowly walked to the lockers. He’d known Hana for a while and she was nice enough. And it’d be really rude to turn her down on Valentine’s Day, wouldn’t it?
“Y-You said honesty was the best policy…”
Nakamura’s words make Hirose pause when he had his shoes on, and gaze into the distance.
Hana’s not bad, though, Hirose thought. This is okay, isn’t it? Maybe he’d end up liking her, too. More than just acquaintances. It was what his sister wanted him to start doing.
But for some reason, it bothered him.
Then he heard a noise and looked up, and was surprised to see Nakamura, gazing back at him from the other side of the room. Almost as if he’d heard Hirose’s worried thoughts.
They stared at each other for a second, as Hirose had no idea what to say. He knew there was no way Nakamura had psychic powers, but…
“Oh, Nakamura,” Hirose finally managed with an awkward smile. “You stayed late?”
“Yeah,” Nakamura replied as he slowly walked to his locker. If he noticed Hirose being weird, he didn’t say anything.
Hirose noticed they were otherwise alone in the room, and wondered if he should mention Hana, maybe, to gauge Nakamura’s reaction. Maybe even get some advice.
“Were you busy with something?” Hirose asked, wanting to not be a self-obsessed weirdo.
“Otogiri-sensei asked me to do something for him.”
That makes sense, Hirose thought. And then he wondered what the teacher would think of Hirose’s weird reaction to Hana… He’d probably tease me about it.
“D-Did you have something to do, too?” Nakamura asked, pulling Hirose back to the moment.
“Oh, I was uh…” Hirose wondered how to even talk about it. A girl asked me out. Hana, you know? And I stared at her like an idiot because I didn’t expect it and don’t know how I feel about it. He looked away in embarrassment. “Um…” Nakamura wouldn’t think it was weird. We’ve talked about crushes before, kind of?
But as he looked at Nakamura, it was hard to say.
Nakamura smiled warmly at him, waiting patiently.
Hirose breathed in deeply, trying to get himself together. “Hey, listen.”
“Yeah?” Nakamura prompted him.
“Did you, uh, get chocolate from anyone?” Maybe if Nakamura did, then Hirose could explain it that way. “Oh? Did you get asked out, too?”
“What?!” Nakamura asked, sounding surprised. “N-No?” He almost sounded unsure, which was odd. Shouldn’t you know if you got chocolate or not?
“I-I see,” Hirose replied. Now he had to try something else. Or not at all. It felt mean to dig into the fact that not only had someone given Hirose chocolate, but she’d also asked him out. Hirose didn’t want to make Nakamura feel bad.
“So, uh…” Hirose thought he could redirect the conversation some other way. Maybe say he’d heard about someone else getting asked out… but people would know soon enough about him and Kana. She’d already spoken to her friends, who’d seen, and maybe heard. “I actually…” Got chocolates and was asked out, but I’m not sure about it.
It sounded selfish. He shouldn’t use Nakamura like that. They were friends, after all.
He breathed in and then kicked the points of his toes, to make sure his shoes were on right, before grabbing his bag. Then he forced a grin and looked at Nakamura. “Actually, never mind. Sorry.” Some friend Hirose was.
“Huh?” Nakamura asked.
“Later!” Hirose called as he practically ran out the door. He was almost home by the time he remembered Nakamura’s chocolates, still in his bag, now under Hana’s.
He came to a stop and looked behind him. The sky was darkening. But no one was there.
He’s probably headed home already, Hirose thought. And it felt bad, giving him the chocolates now, after trying to use Nakamura’s friendship for his own ends.
He thought of the pen in his pencil case. I’ll get him something nicer than chocolates sometime. As thanks. And apology. And maybe by then he’d figure out how to explain things.
Dating Hana wasn’t a mind-blowing experience, at least not in the way Hirose expected. She was still basically the same: smart, nice, and warm. Except she seemed to keep following him around the school. She’d show up at his classroom during breaks, and stick around for a while to chat. She’d catch up with him before they left for the day, so they could walk home together. And sometimes they’d end up going out for food or just walking a while and chatting. It felt just like a new person in his friend circle, but less natural, somehow.
People talked, of course. Takeuchi was ridiculous about it, and Mukai congratulated him. Girls gave him side-eyes now, and some of the guys were clearly jealous.
Hirose’s life felt different, but he wasn’t sure if he was happy with it. He didn’t dislike Hana, but he definitely felt like he had to rearrange a lot to have her in his life. And it was annoying. Especially because he didn’t feel comfortable talking about his worries with her. He had to be a decent boyfriend, didn’t he? That meant just figuring everything out and giving Hana a nice time.
Because she was amazing and deserved a nice boyfriend. But maybe he was not getting the memo about it or something. Because she just seemed like a normal person to him. Holding her hand was okay, but it didn’t make him tingle or anything like Takeuchi seemed to say it would. He’d kissed her cheek once, when she asked, but she didn’t ask again. And he wondered if he did a bad job.
But privately, he was glad she didn’t ask again.
He also found it was harder to spend time with Nakamura. Of course, Nakamura still reached out and spoke to him, which was nice, but Hirose was increasingly busy with Hana, and barely had time for anyone. Omori at least lived nearby, and Hirose sat near Takeuchi and Mukai, but Nakamura was farther back in class and away in town.
Hirose found himself missing his friend, and unsure how to fix things. The chocolates had been gifted to his sister, and he hadn’t found a better gift. And he still felt bad for trying to use Nakamura for his own ends. So his thoughts lingered on how to fix the issue. And he wondered, increasingly, what Nakamura might say if he came out with Hana and Hirose sometimes. What he would think of Hirose’s honesty then.
Hirose was staring at the crab keychain on his bag, recalling Nakamura’s earnest confession, when Hana asked from nearby, “Aiki-kun? Can we talk?”
Hirose looked up at her in surprise, and saw she was giving him one of her usual smiles. He hadn’t even noticed her walking over.
Hirose forced a smile and said, “Sure!”
“You’re not as fun as I thought you’d be,” Hana said, while Hirose stared, dumbly back at her.
I guess I wasn’t, he thought, recalling how he’d acted recently. Maybe she could tell I wasn’t interested.
He supposed he should be devastated he was being dumped, and out by the trash, too, but it was kind of a relief. He’d have his life back to himself again, and could move on.
They both heard a noise and looked up to see Nakamura holding the class trash bags and staring at them in surprise. He carefully moved to lower his burden to join the other trash.
I should ask if he wants to walk home together, Hirose thought, almost feeling happy about it. Honestly, it was even better than being dumped.
"Well, I'm glad you’re happy now,” Hana said, pulling him back for their conversation. She sounded angry.
“Sorry?” Hirose asked, confused.
She gave him an unimpressed look. “I hope you figure out what you’re looking for, Aiki-kun.” Then she walked off.
Hirose felt an almost sting in that. But then again, he hoped so, too, given what he was looking for didn’t seem to be Hana. Or anyone like her.
He saw Nakamura creeping slowly away.
Hirose grinned and ran up to the other boy before slapping his shoulder. “I got dumped!”
“Huh?” Nakamura asked, surprised.
“Seriously,” Hirose continued as fell in step with each other and walked back to school, “I don’t get girls!” He thought he’d have figured something out about why Hana picked him or his own feelings on the matter, but all he felt was distance. Certainly nothing like what the other boys made dating and girls sound like.
“Wait,” Nakamura said, slowly, “your girlfriend dumped you?” He sounded so shocked, as if Hirose was somehow unlikely to ever get dumped.
She was braver than I was, Hirose thought. “Yeah, she said I was no fun.”
“N-No fun?” Nakamura stammered, clearly still surprised. Rather than being awkward, it felt oddly nice and normal to be chatting to Nakamura again, almost like they’d never grown apart. Like Hirose had never been weird about things.
It made Hirose think he had a second chance. And being honest was probably good for him, since he couldn’t do that with Hana.
“She said I wasn’t as fun as she thought,” Hirose replied, which sounded a bit whiny when he said it. “I don’t get it, really. I mean… what was she expecting from me?” He certainly didn’t know her well enough before this whole mess to know she’d ask him out. He thought they were just friends! They never hung out outside school before her confession!
When Nakamura didn’t reply, Hirose wondered if he’d screwed up again, so he tried to play it off as a joke and grinned as he asked, “Right?”
But Nakamura was still quiet, clearly thinking. And Hirose wondered if maybe things weren’t okay. Which sucked, because Hirose liked Nakamura. He wanted to go back to being normal friends again. He wanted…
I wish I hadn’t given the chocolate away, he thought. It would have been good to bring out now, though it might have tasted bad.
Nakamura slowly said, “She… obviously didn’t understand your charm.” He smiled softly as he met Hirose’s gaze.
Hirose’s eyes widened in surprise. All he’d managed to do lately was be kind of rude to his friends. Like Nakamura. And yet here Nakamura was, saying Hirose had charm?
He really is a good guy, Hirose thought. And it hurt, knowing Hirose had written him off, basically. Hirose didn’t know how to make it up to him.
“A-Ah!” Nakamura said, as his face turned red and he sounded oddly flustered, “I mean, well! A-Are you sad? You must be, right?”
Hirose wasn’t sure how to answer that. He was supposed to say yes, wasn’t he? But that wouldn’t be honest again. And this whole mess had started because he hadn’t been honest. And he owed Nakamura more than that.
“No, not really,” Hirose replied, quietly, gazing ahead. “I had no idea how to act with her. It was kind of stressful, actually.” He could have never said this around Hana. She’d have gotten upset. And Takeuchi would have called him whiny. Mukai… might have listened, but he also might have had no advice. And Omori would probably just be confused.
But Nakamura listened, and didn’t make any mean comments. And his eyes were bright and showed he wasn’t ignoring Hirose’s oddness.
I date one of the prettiest and nicest girls in school, and end up only being comfortable around a guy, Hirose thought, thinking it should have been funny. “A guy I can talk about lots of stuff with might be better, honestly.” Certainly, despite how difficult even this was, he felt a lot better.
But when Hirose looked up at Nakamura, Nakamura was gazing at him with wide eyes.
Hirose blinked and wondered what he’d said that was so shocking. And then his face heated: maybe Nakamura didn’t like gay people? “I mean… well… Never mind… Forget it.” He laughed awkwardly, trying to write it off. What, was he admitting to being into guys? Just because Hana hadn’t worked out?
…Would that be so terrible? He thought. He didn’t think so.
“I can,” Nakamura said, carefully, making Hirose look at him again. “If you want… But I agree. A guy is better.”
Hirose blinked up at him. Did he misunderstand me? Maybe Nakamura thought Hirose was saying something else, or…
Or…
“Nakamura?” Hirose asked, feeling like something at the back of his thoughts was itchy.
Nakamura’s face went red again. “I mean… if that’s not what you meant, then…”
“What do you think I meant?” Hirose asked as he stopped walking. What could he mean?
“W-Well, I… Um…” Nakamura looked away. “I thought you liked… I mean…” He babbled a bit more.
And Hirose had found him near that boys love manga in the hallway. And in the section of the bookstore. And he thought he’d caught Nakamura reading it again elsewhere. That didn’t mean anything, really, but… Nakamura also hadn’t shown any interest in any of the girls, not even Kawamura, who he was friends with.
“Do you like guys?” Hirose asked.
Nakamura flinched, and Hirose wondered if he’d pissed the other boy off.
“Sorry, I…” But he froze when he looked more closely at Nakamura’s face. The other boy wouldn’t meet Hirose’s gaze at all now. And he looked not only embarrassed, but also pained.
“That’s cool if you do,” Hirose said, quietly, not wanting to alarm Nakamura any more than he already had. “I don’t really have any experience with this. I didn’t mean to make a joke of it or anything.”
“It’s fine,” Nakamura said, a bit jerkily. “It’s… I um…” But he was just clearly unsure how to continue.
“Hey,” Hirose said, “it’s okay.” He couldn’t forget just how shy Nakamura was, and it made sense, with a secret like this.
Nakamura looked at him in alarm.
Hirose smiled at him. “I mean it.” He didn’t want Nakamura to feel unsafe around him.
Nakamura didn’t look reassured, but he forced a smile, all the same.
“Wanna walk home with me today?” Hirose asked. “I mean… I would like to, if you would, too.”
“S-Sure,” Nakamura said. “I just need to finish up and I’ll meet you out front.” He still looked worried.
“That’s fine,” Hirose said.
Hirose watched Nakamura jog away, quickly. Then Hirose breathed in, thinking that he had a good idea as an apology.
Hirose and Nakamura’s walk home was longer than usual, but they kept close to each other, chatting quietly about school. The air was still tense between them, but Hirose refused to run away.
Nakamura felt too fragile to leave alone. He smiled a lot, but there seemed a brittleness to it. It was worrisome.
“There’s this place we should try,” Hirose said as he guided them to the chocolate shop. “It’s nice.”
“Sure,” Nakamura said, vaguely.
I wonder if he’s even going to like it, Hirose thought, glumly. But he likes sweet things. Surely…?
As the shop came in sight, Hirose could see it was a little more crowded than when last he’d been there, but there was still room to wander. He found the counter he’d gone to, and the chocolates he’d picked out before were still there. He pulled Nakamura over and said, “You should try these! I’ll get them for you if you like!”
“You don’t have to,” Nakamura began.
“I want to,” Hirose said. He gazed up into Nakamura’s face and said, “I wanted to give them to you on Valentine’s Day, but lost my chance. And I owe you an apology for how I’ve been treating you.”
“You don’t owe me an apology,” Nakamura said. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I haven’t been a good friend,” Hirose insisted.
Something about those words made Nakamura’s expression fall. “Friend?”
“Yeah,” Hirose said. “I should treat you better as my friend.” He wanted Nakamura to be comfortable with him, just like how Hirose was with Nakamura.
Nakamura just stared at him. Then he said, “You’re already really kind to me.” Then he smiled, but it felt oddly sad. “More than I deserve. Or could ask for.”
Hirose’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “What do you mean?”
Nakamura looked at him with a pained expression.
There was something hot in Hirose’s chest, and he felt the urge to do something, but wasn’t sure what. It sounded like he’d already gone too far, somehow. Done something wrong. Screwed up again with a friend.
“Hirose,” Nakamura said, quieter now, “I…”
Hirose waited, patiently, knowing he owed Nakamura this.
“I like you,” Nakamura finally said, so quietly that Hirose almost didn’t hear it over the noise in the shop.
Hirose’s eyes widened in surprise.
Nakamura’s face was turning bright red. “I’m sorry.” Then he turned and bolted away.
Hirose stared at the spot where the other boy had been standing, and then turned to see other people looking after where Nakamura had disappeared to.
“Hirose-san?” a quiet voice said nearby, drawing his attention. Kawamura was standing nearby, looking towards where Nakamura had vanished. “Is Nakamura-kun okay?”
Hirose’s lips parted to say, I don’t know. But then he clenched his hands into fists and replied, “I’ll go make sure!” He nodded to Kawamura before darting through the crowd, tracing after Nakamura’s vanishing silhouette outside.
Thankfully, Nakamura didn’t run too far down the street, and Hirose was able to call after him, “Nakamura! Slow down! Let’s talk, please!”
Nakamura thankfully listened, and slowed to a jog. He turned, slowly, to Hirose, breathing hard. He looked truly scared now.
Hirose skid to a halt nearby, breathing hard, too. He hadn’t planned what to say here, but his first thought was, “Are you okay? You aren’t hurt, are you?”
“I…” Nakamura blinked at him. “I’m fine…” He looked winded, but otherwise okay.
“Good,” Hirose said. Then he frowned. “Why would you just say that and then run off! I didn’t even get a chance to reply!”
Nakamura’s eyes widened in shock.
Hirose was ashamed of himself, but he wasn’t going to stop now. And he wasn’t going to just let Nakamura suffer because he was too nervous. “I took you to that chocolatier, didn’t I?”
“Y-Yeah…” Nakamura said.
“We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Y-Yeah…”
“So are you afraid of me?”
“I… A little,” Nakamura admitted, quietly.
Hirose groaned and then scratched his forehead. “Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you afraid. Because I like you a lot, too.” His cheeks felt warm when he said it, but it came from the heart, and it felt easier than most everything else he’d said lately. And when he looked up at Nakamura, he saw Nakamura’s face light up in shock.
“What?” Nakamura asked.
“I like you, too,” Hirose said with a grin. It was easier, that time. And not because it was fake. But it just felt honest.
Nakamura blinked several times at him. “As… a friend?”
“Yeah,” Hirose said. “But I think… more than that.” He smiled awkwardly. “You know I couldn’t get your face out of my head the whole time I was with Hana? And there were so many times I thought, dang, what if Nakamura was here to chat?” He grinned. “She didn’t like the hot chocolate in coffee thing, you know?” He remembered the way Nakamura had just gone for it and enjoyed it. And it didn’t matter if Hana had different tastes. But the gentle joy on Nakamura’s face when he’d tried that drink stuck with Hirose.
He supposed it wasn’t a surprise Mukai had noticed something. Certainly, Hirose had been clueless.
“Oh,” Nakamura said, quietly.
Hirose grimaced and said, “Look, I’m not experienced at this kind of thing. It’s why Hana dumped me, you know?”
Nakamura gave him a wary look.
“But… if you wanted to give it a shot?” Hirose offered, stepping closer. “I wouldn’t mind.”
Nakamura blinked at him. “Give… what?”
“Going out,” Hirose said with a smile. “You know. We’re already out, together, right?” He reached out and took Nakamura’s left hand in his right, and squeezed Nakamura’s fingers. They were a bit stiff. “I like you, Nakamura. You don’t have to run away.”
Nakamura was frozen, staring at him.
Hirose wondered if he was screwing this up even worse.
Then Nakamura sniffed and tears started pouring down his face. “R-Really?!”
“Oh wow,” Hirose said as Nakamura sniffed again and wiped his eyes. “Yeah, really.” He reached into his bag and grabbed his handkerchief, before pulling it out and unfolding it to dab at Nakamura’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry!”
“It’s okay,” Nakamura said as Hirose badly wiped away some tears here and there. “I uh… I thought you’d never like me. Like that.”
Hirose pulled his hand back and smiled. Nakamura’s face was blotchy, but there was a brightness in his gaze that wasn’t there before. And something like hope. “Why wouldn’t I like you? You’re fun and always there when I need you.” Hirose slowly reached up to dab another track of tears away. “I always feel bad abusing your kindness.”
“You don’t abuse it,” Nakamura said. “And I don’t… I’m not that kind.” He swallowed. “I try to be, to you.”
“You did that role for Kawamura in Tamura’s play,” Hirose said.
“Well, that was…”
“And Matsumara said you helped that kid at the mall,” Hirose added.
“He t-told you?!” Nakamura seemed oddly horrified.
Hirose laughed. “Yeah. He said it was pretty cool.” He’d been surprised when Matsumara had texted him about running into Nakamura at the mall. “And you tried to catch that cockroach, and you helped the octopuses…”
“Okay, okay,” Nakamura said, looking away in embarrassment. “I… I guess sometimes I’m nice… though if you ask my sister, she’ll reassure you otherwise.”
“You don’t have to be perfect,” Hirose said with a grin. He reached out to rest his hand on Nakamura’s left shoulder. “You just have to be you. And I can be me. And that’s okay, right?” There was nothing else Hirose wanted in that moment.
Nakamura nodded quickly.
“Wanna get some food?” Hirose asked. “We can sit down and talk, maybe?”
“I’d like that,” Nakamura said. He let Hirose tug him forward back towards the main shopping area. “You really… like me?”
“I do,” Hirose said. “And you really like me?” He wondered if Nakamura would dump him for being unfun, too.
“Yeah!” Nakamura said, loudly, making Hirose look up at him in surprise. “I like you so much, sometimes, it… it hurts.” He grimaced and then continued, “Not that it’s bad, but… I thought you’d never like me. Or that you’d hate the idea of me liking you. Or…”
“It’s okay,” Nakamura said as he reached out to pat Nakamura’s back, wanting Nakamura to relax a bit. “it’s okay.”
Nakamura swallowed and nodded jerkily.
“This is new for both of us, okay?” Hirose said. “We’ll figure it out.” He leaned his shoulder against Nakamura’s arm. “Deal?”
Nakamura smiled at him, and this time, it was real. Not pained. But hopeful. “Deal.”