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“…There’s so many people here.”
“That’s why I’m holding your hand,” Mo Ran laughs, looking down at Chu Wanning, standing next to him with a trans flag wrapped around him like a cape, still wearing regular clothes though; you can’t get Chu Wanning to wear just a binder or whatever in public, Mo Ran supposes, even outside of China.
Chu Wanning gives him a little glare, but then he also blushes when he looks down at their hands.
Look. Mo Ran knows Chu Wanning has a crush on him. He’s very aware of that, and he’s barely keeping it in his pants, but Chu Wanning is sixteen, and Mo Ran is twenty-four and so, uhm, he’ll wait for a little longer.
(He prays that he’ll make it to Chu Wanning turning eighteen, and if he does, he’s confessing at fucking midnight, and then he’ll fuck Chu Wanning until he can’t breathe anymore, for the whole night that’s going to follow.)
“I didn’t think it’d be so… full.”
“Told you,” Mo Ran only says with a shrug, straightening out his own pride t-shirt. Getting Huaizui to approve any kind of flight over to Taiwan for a pride parade of all things was a whole adventure by itself, but he’s gotten a little better over the years, ever since Mo Ran found Chu Wanning in the middle of town, crying into some package in his hands that Mo Ran eventually learned was a binder. And it was a happy cry. And Chu Wanning was terrified, especially because he was only fourteen, until Mo Ran casually raised his t-shirt (which got Chu Wanning to blush like hell) and showed him his own binder.
Mo Ran’s acted like something of a bigger brother to him since, though it’s, uh, well. Mo Ran certainly doesn’t feel like he’s being a good big brother, given how much he wants to fuck Chu Wanning into the next week once he’s turned of age (or before, if he ever gets to), but you know.
In the end, Huaizui accepted, after Mo Ran said that he’s going to come here for the sixth year in a row, and Chu Wanning being in a place with a lot of queer people and allies alike might actually fix something inside of him.
Mo Ran knows it did, for him.
(Well, that, and his extraordinary gay bar adventures and group orgies organized around the Taipei pride events, but you know.)
“I wished we could get those in China too, but I guess the government sucks, so here we go.”
Chu Wanning isn’t really listening, though. He’s just staring at the mass of openly queer people in front of him, some clad only scarcely, others in elaborate outfits. Drag queens dart through the masses here and there with massive wigs (damn, Mo Ran should try out drag one of these days), and there are more people than one can count with whom you certainly can’t tell what gender they would’ve been assigned at birth.
The hand in Mo Ran’s gives a little tremble, and Chu Wanning squeezes his fingers harder.
“There’s just- so many,” he repeats again. “is that normal?”
He sounds so adorably confused. Mo Ran laughs and lets go of his hand to sling his arm around him instead. Honestly, Chu Wanning looks all lost like this, eyes darting left and right, like he can’t believe there’s this many queer people out there.
The thing is, Mo Ran’s actual circle of trans – and queer friends – overall is pretty small. It’s his brother, really, and Ye Wangxi. He knows a few more, but those are mostly fucks, so it’s not like they talk. Chu Wanning has come home with him before and gotten to know Xue Meng and his two boyfriends, and he’s met Ye Wangxi, but other than that, he hasn’t been in any sort of bigger group setting like this.
Mo Ran played with the thought of taking him to a gay bar once, but in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to. Chu Wanning is sixteen. He doesn’t belong in places that have, a) alcohol, and b) a lot of horny people looking for hook-ups. Now, obviously, Mo Ran would never leave his side, but the pure thought that someone may try to flirt with this person who’s so most definitely his, was…
Nope.
Mo Ran didn’t take him there. And to hop from being in a room with two, maximum three other queer people to being at a massive pride parade?
That has to be quite shocking.
He pulls poor Chu Wanning a little closer. They’re at the back of it anyway; Chu Wanning isn’t good with loud noise and masses of people if he doesn’t have to be, and this probably doesn’t count as a must to his brain. However, he figured that they could still come here, and as long as they walk along at the margins, it’ll be fine. They can step aside if needed, and Mo Ran brought enough food and drink from the convenience store to keep them afloat. At least it’s sunny enough. Mo Ran has also been to pride in Europe once, on holiday, and he’s decided that he does prefer pride in October instead, simply because it won’t be so hot. Today, it’s on the colder side, but the sun glimpses through the clouds just enough, looking down at all the colourful flags and people down below.
“Yup,” Mo Ran responds, finally. “It’s normal, A-Ning. There’s many of us out here.”
“I can’t even tell what gender any of them are,” Chu Wanning says, looking over at a group that’s definitely-
“Butch lesbians,” Mo Ran says with just a single glance. “The ones next to ‘em look like drag queens to me-“
“Even I know that!” Chu Wanning bites back, which makes Mo Ran laugh. Yeah, he’d suspect that Chu Wanning can tell what drag queens are, if there’s a bunch of them walking around in the highest heels known to man, wearing the most glamours outfits one could imagine. One has a whole rainbow outfit that makes Mo Ran dizzy if he just looks at it.
“You like it?” Mo Ran asks, eventually, after they stay quiet for another while, as the masses slowly organize themselves and start walking, some trucks and cars slowly driving with them, balloons and rainbow merchandise scattered all over them.
“I think so,” Chu Wanning says, and when that small smile on his face remains, even when that rainbow drag queen bumps into him, and all he says is a little ‘it’s fine’ once she apologizes, Mo Ran knows for a fact that this ‘I think so’ is definitely a full-on ‘yes’.
*
Sharing one hotel room with Chu Wanning is miserable at best already. It’s not helped by the lack of shower curtain, and not by the fact they have one big double bed, either. Chu Wanning is just too close to him like this.
Especially when he suddenly turns around in the dark, Mo Ran barely even able to see the opening of his eyes. He smells of hotel soap and something flowery. Mo Ran swallows hard.
“Ge?”
His heart stutters. Every single damn time Chu Wanning addresses him as such, Mo Ran gets hard. Okay, he tries his best to fight his current boner, but it’s difficult at best. He’ll have to slip away to the bathroom, as soon as Chu Wanning is asleep.
“Hm?”
“…Thank you,” comes the quiet, mumbled response. “For taking me here.”
“It’s… no issue, really,” Mo Ran laughs. “Thank you for coming here with me. You didn’t have to, after all.”
“I’m sorry. That you had to deal with me all day, I know you probably wanted to like, go more into it, but…”
“Eh. I don’t really care,” Mo Ran laughs, and reaches over to squeeze Chu Wanning’s shoulder through the blanket once. All boney, but not as much as it used to be anymore.
“Still… thank you,” Chu Wanning rasps out again, and Mo Ran can’t stop himself. He lets his hand glide up towards Chu Wanning’s cheek, and he brushes against it with his knuckles, just feeling the soft skin below his own. This time, both him and Chu Wanning swallow hard.
Mo Ran has no idea what makes Chu Wanning do it, but he suddenly grabs Mo Ran’s hand on his cheek. He pushes it down into the sheets between them, where their blankets overlap juts a little, only a few of their fingers exposed to the air of their hotel room.
And then, Chu Wanning just holds it.
Mo Ran blinks, and his smile grows. He knows that Chu Wanning has a crush on him. Latest this would’ve cemented it. He’s not the right person to be brave enough to do something like this otherwise.
But right now, he is. He’s still holding Mo Ran’s hand, squeezing it, like he wants desperately for them to just be honest about what’s between them.
Not yet. Mo Ran can’t quite bear to do it. Chu Wanning is still so young, and he feels horrible enough already. He knows they both want it. Just a bit longer, at least until Chu Wanning is seventeen. A single year away from eighteen doesn’t seem that bad.
His throat is all dry.
“Good- good night,” Chu Wanning stutters, and he gives Mo Ran’s hand another squeeze. Then, he lets go.
Except Mo Ran doesn’t let him, and he grabs it right back, and he can’t resists anymore. He brings it up to his lips, and he kisses the back of it once. It’s probably a love confession in itself. He sees, at least, the way Chu Wanning’s breath hitches in his throat, hears it.
“Good night, A-Ning,” he whispers, and he takes their joined hands to cradle against his chest.
Holding out till Chu Wanning is seventeen? Don’t make him laugh. Mo Ran is probably not even going to last until their flight in two days. The safety of a hotel room in a whole other country is probably the best he’s going to be getting.
He takes a deep breath, and he exhales it, and he feels Chu Wanning’s fingers wriggling a little bit in his hand, like he’s trying to find the correct position to hold them in to not offend Mo Ran.
What a little idiot. Mo Ran smiles, and he looks over. Their eyes meet.
“I enjoyed the day a lot,” he says.
“Hm- hm.”
“Good night, A-Ning.”
“Y-yeah. Good night, Ge.”
Chu Wanning may look like he’s not going to be able to sleep tonight at all, but he’s out in a few minutes time, his hand going all loose. Once he’s asleep, Mo Ran leans down to kiss it once again.
Maybe, he’ll just never let go. Tomorrow, they’re going to go sightseeing, and Mo Ran won’t let go of his hand, not even once.
Others can think whatever the hell they want.