Work Text:
It was currently 7:12 pm, Ben had just finished his homework for the night.
The sun had barely started to set, Spring had finally managed to creep its way into the world and allow the sun to shine for just a bit longer every evening.
Ben hummed, carefully sorting through the papers he’d just finished taking notes on for his upcoming history project and putting them neatly into a paper folder near the end of his desk. Coco purred at Ben from beneath his desk, rubbing against his legs in an attempt to gain his attention. Sunset meant dinnertime for Coco, and she refused to let anyone forget.
“I hear you, I hear you,” Ben chuckled, scratching Coco’s ears as he got up from his seat, “I’ll go get the tuna out.”
Coco frantically ran into the kitchen, sprinting like she hadn’t eaten in years. Ben playfully knocked Coco over to rub her belly after setting a small can of wet tuna cat food beside her water bowl. Coco purred at the sight of her dinner, immediately freeing herself from Ben’s affection to eat her food.
Ben could hear the faint sound of a Ritchie Valens record coming from Donna’s bedroom as she opened her door, hurriedly running past the two in the hallway and opening the front door, applying mascara to her lashes as she undid the door’s chain.
“I’m going out with Brady tonight, so I probably won’t be back till pretty late if I do end up coming home tonight,” Donna said, stuffing her tube of mascara into her purse, “I’m already running late because it took forever to curl my hair. Mom’s probably not gonna be back tonight so just make sure you keep the house clean, and please don’t tell her I’m gone if she calls.”
Ben nodded, standing up as he spoke, “Yeah, yeah I won’t, don’t worry. See ya, Donafer, tell Brady I said hi.”
“Bye Benafer,” Donna giggled, “Be good for Coco!”
Donna shut the door behind her, Ben could hear her running through the hallway to the elevator. No matter how much time she set aside to get ready, she always managed to end up being late for just about everything.
Ben made his way back to his room, by the time Coco had finished her dinner the clock read 7:28. The sun had gone from a burning array of orange and pink hues to a dull, quiet blue by then. Ben flopped lazily onto his bed, reaching for his sketchbook on his nightstand.
Sketching was always a convenient pass time, sometimes Ben almost preferred it over painting. When Ben made a painting everything had to go perfectly, and if not perfect then damn near close. Each individual brush stroke had to make its mark on the canvas without outshining the others, all working in a perfect coordinated harmony. When a painting wasn’t coming out the way Ben had expected or hoped it felt like he was wasting a canvas, which made him panic. Sketching didn’t bring this pressure, Ben could aimlessly doodle thousands of meaningless objects and scribbles without having even the slightest sense of worry.
Ben started with an old coffee cup on his desk near a cup of pencils, he must’ve needed energy one evening while working on homework and forgotten to throw it away. Ben made a mental note to throw the cup into the trash after he finished doodling.
After he had finished his coffee cup, Ben glanced over to his floor and found a discarded pack of cigarettes, they must’ve belonged to Ricky and fell out after he took his jacket off one night. Ben faintly smiled at the thought of Ricky, his image tugging at Ben’s mind as he sketched the pack of cigarettes.
By the time Ben had finished the cigarettes he’d almost immediately began to sketch Ricky without a second thought. Sometimes when Ben was doodling, Ricky’s face seemed to make its way onto the paper without Ben even realizing. Sketching Ricky was a habit Ben couldn’t seem to get rid of, no matter what he did.
In the midst of Ben’s scribbling he looked over to his clock, the time now read 8:03 pm. Ben skimmed back to his paper, eyeing one of his small sketches of Ricky. He should be here soon, maybe in about an hour or so. Ben couldn’t help but smile at this, Ricky clumsily sneaking into Ben’s room each night was always his favorite part of the day. Sure, they saw each other every day at school and even hung out after school multiple times a week, but it was at night amidst the cozy silence of Ben’s room when the two really got to talk, to say and do and talk about everything Ben wished he could've during the day.
After about another hour or so of doodling random items and such around his room, Ben heard the familiar three knocks on his window he looked forward to every night. By then, the sky had turned to a dark purple hue with small speckled stars, peaking out from behind clouds and sky scrappers that filled Brooklyn’s night sky.
Ben leaped out his bed and opened the window, attempting to move the wastebasket far enough from the window so that Ricky didn’t accidentally step in it when trying to enter the room and trip. Despite Ben’s efforts, this is exactly what happened. Ricky hit the floor with a loud thud, groaning as he hoisted himself off the floor and picking up the wastebasket’s contents, now scattered across Ben’s bedroom floor thanks to Ricky’s horrible balance.
“We really gotta find somewhere else for that stupid trash can,” Ricky huffed, kicking off his shoes and setting them neatly at the foot of Ben’s bed, “I’m sick of tripping and stumbling all over it every time I get here.”
“I think after a point you gotta stop blaming the trash can and get better at climbing through windows,” Ben giggled, brushing a loose strand of hair out of Ricky’s face and planting a small peck on his cheek, “I missed you, Shitbird.”
Ricky gave a small, warm smile at the gesture and turned to face Ben, cupping his face with one hand and leaning in for a gentle kiss before the pair sat down on Ben’s bed, comfortably falling into the same rhythm and routine they followed every night.
The routine in question was nothing special, the two would change into the clothes the slept in, spend a few hours just keeping each other company, this usually meant sitting in bed basking in silence with each other while they occupied their own activities, but occasionally they’d find themselves having conversations and debates, then around 11:00 pm they’d start to settle in for the night and eventually fall asleep. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for the fact that they had to be extremely quiet to avoid suspicion from the other members of the household to avoid getting caught.
“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you,” Ben said, gently twirling small strands of Ricky’s hair in his fingers, who was currently laying his head on Ben’s lap as he tossed a ball at the wall over and over to keep Coco occupied, “we have the house to ourselves tonight, Donna’s gonna be out late and my mom doesn’t come home till tomorrow afternoon.”
Ricky grinned, propping himself up and leaning on his hands as he sat on the foot of Ben’s bed, “What difference does it make? I thought we were pretty good at staying quiet just naturally.”
“I dunno, I guess we could like… Make-out with my door open,” Ben shrugged, “but I meant more like watching a movie or something.”
The two agreed to watch a movie in the living room before going to bed. It was a Friday night, so they didn’t have to worry about school in the morning, and since Diana wouldn’t be home till later in the day on Saturday, Ricky could sleep in before leaving.
The two made themselves a bowl of popcorn and sat on the couch, leaning their heads on each other's shoulders. Ricky chose some romcom Ben had never heard of, the two sat in a comfortable silence while the movie played, but Ben’s head seemed to be elsewhere.
Sitting on the couch, with their hands intertwined and Ricky gently rubbing his thumb on the back of Ben’s palm, he couldn’t help but wish this didn’t have to be so rare. Holding hands and watching a movie; one of the simplest bonding activities ever had to be a delicacy for the two. Something so small, almost platonic, could be so dangerous for the two of them. Ben wondered if Brady and Donna ever had to fear being caught doing something so small.
Ben wouldn’t change a thing about Ricky, he knew that with every ounce of his soul. Ricky was nothing less than perfect in every way in Ben’s eyes, and the fact he was a man was just one of the many things Ben loved about him. But some urge in the back of his head couldn’t stop him from wondering how different things could be if Ricky were a girl.
Maybe they wouldn’t have to mask their dates as hangouts, or have to worry about kissing each other in public. Maybe neither of them would have to fear holding hands at school, or walking each other to their classes. Maybe they wouldn’t have to lock Ben’s bedroom door and close his blinds whenever they danced, or kissed, or even just wanted to stare at each other with eyes that said more than any amount of words ever could. Maybe Ben could invite Ricky over for dinner instead of having to sneak lukewarm plates of food into his bedroom for him, maybe his mother could show Ricky old photo albums of when Ben was younger and the three of them could laugh together. Maybe during holidays they could kiss under mistletoe, or dress up in matching costumes like those stupid corny couples did. Maybe they could go to Prom or some other school dance and slow dance with all the other couples, and be nominated in the yearbook as “most likely to be married”. Maybe they wouldn’t have to worry about saying they loved each other in a tone that seemed too loving, or maybe they could say it in the most loving tone ever and no one would bat an eye. Maybe.
Ben didn’t wish Ricky was a girl, he wished he didn’t have to be a girl for Ben to be allowed to love him in a way that didn’t have to be silent.
The movie finished quicker than Ben had expected, by the time it was over Ricky had fallen completely asleep, resting comfortably on Ben’s shoulder, their hands still clung together, even while he slept. The sky was completely pitch black now, the stars being the world's only proof that there had been a sky above them at all as they danced gracefully above the world.
“Hey, it’s getting pretty late,” Ben whispered softly, gently running his free hand through Ricky’s hair in an attempt to wake him without startling him. Ricky gave a small, drowsy, nod before yawning and beginning to advance down the dark hallway back into Ben’s bedroom.
The two shared one more gentle, sleepy kiss before Ricky went to bed. Ben intended on just letting him go to sleep as soon as they got into his room, but Ricky dozily insisted on just one small kiss before going to bed, and kissing Ricky was never something Ben would shy down if given the option.
Ben was well aware of just how much trouble he could get into for gazing at Ricky the way he currently was, but he couldn’t help it. Not with the way Ricky’s features softened when he slept, or how when he took all the grease out of his hair how loose strands would sit comfortably on his face and drape onto the pillow, or how the light from the moon gently illuminated his face just enough to where Ben could stare at him perfectly without needing a light.
Most of the world would be appalled if they knew how much Ben and Ricky loved each other, and maybe it would always stay that way, or maybe the world would never know. Brooklyn never slept, the city would bustle and rush and move and holler and continue on just as it did every night, but as for Ben and Ricky they had their own world. Sure, it was a small apartment bedroom with a broken window and no working ac during the summer, and sure it was nothing big or special, but maybe that wasn't so bad.
Ben glanced over to Ricky, sleeping peacefully on his side, Ben scooted a bit closer, wrapped his arms around Ricky's waist gently and pressed one more soft kiss into his hair before Ben began to doze off.
Not so bad at all.