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Shane left the cottage's bathroom, using a towel to lazily dry his hair. He had just finished a nice workout in the little gym inside of the cottage while Ilya had been asleep on the couch. And when Shane stepped into the living room-kitchen-area, he spotted his husband on the veranda, obviously not asleep anymore.
Ilya was smoking. That meant he was not feeling good. After he stopped smoking quite a while ago - mostly because he didn't want Shane to worry about his health - he sometimes still had the urge to have a cigarette when he wasn't feeling well. When he was sad again.
Shane let the towel hang around his neck and stepped out onto the veranda. The sound of his husband's footsteps on the wooden deck caused Ilya to wipe his right cheek with the back of his free hand and Shane felt his heart break. It always did when he realized that Ilya was crying and tried to hide his tears.
With a soft "hey", he stepped closer to Ilya and carefully, gently wrapped his arms around him from behind. Shane leaned in and placed his head on his husband's right shoulder, his cheek pressed up against it. His hands were lying on Ilya's stomach and he felt Ilya lean back against him a little bit.
"Another nightmare?" Shane asked softly and he felt Ilya nod. The russian's posture was tense and he was trembling ever so slightly in Shane's embrace. The sun was slowly setting, casting a warm, orange glow over the water of the lake and their cottage - their own little piece of heaven on earth. A piece of heaven that still sometimes bore witness to the darkness that made Ilya struggle with life.
Ilya moved his free hand to Shane's hands that were lying on his stomach and softly brushed his fingers over them. He felt a little cold, Shane thought. "Let's go inside and lay down together," Shane suggested, voice calm and soothing. "Let me hold you."
After a few heartbeats of silence, Shane heard Ilya speak. His deep voice sounded so small. So broken. "I'm sorry you have to go through moments like this because of me," Ilya said and he swallowed audibly, his fingers still gently lying on Shane's. "I know it's hard to be with me when I'm… like this."
Softly, Shane shook his head where it was still lying on Ilya's shoulder. "No," he answered. His voice was steady and there was no doubt in what he said next. "Ilya. Loving you comes as naturally to me as breathing. Loving you is the easiest thing I have ever done. Because I could never stop loving you even if I tried."
Shane raised his head, a soft smile on his lips. He pressed that smile against the warm skin in the nape of Ilya's neck so Ilya could feel it. "I would choose you in every timeline. In every lifetime. It would always be you, Ilya."
A quiet sound escaped Ilya's throat and he tilted his head forward, only a little bit, but it was enough for Shane to feel his husband's tears wet the skin of his forearms. "Thank you," Ilya said when he gently laced their fingers together, holding on to Shane's hand, trembling softly. He inhaled and exhaled audibly. "…for loving me."