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prettiest in white

Summary:

When he wins the second-chance alongside Blaineley, Noah plans to make Alejandro's life a living hell. However, his plan quickly detours whenever the two of them are paired up in a wedding-themed challenge.

Notes:

Day 4: Niagara Brawls / Jealousy

this isn't my favorite oneshot i've written, but its alright i guess

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Winning the second-chance challenge along with Blaineley may be in the top five worst things Noah has ever done. Hell, he wasn't even sure if the both of them should have won, because that would undoubtedly mess up the elimination pattern.

 

Nevertheless, the two of them were shoved into a box and flown to the competition's next location. During their impromptu trip, Noah keeps quiet, knees to his chest, and Blaineley rants about how awful the show is, how it would be so much better if she was the one hosting it, and, of course, what song they are going to sing.

 

"You can be my backup vocals, Noah!" she happily tells him, and the cynic teen shrugs in response. If he could get away with not singing at all, he'd be happy, but he'll take what he can get at this point.

 

"Sure, whatever," he says, tucking himself further into the corner of the box. Seriously, could they not have been transported any other way? Like, I don't know, in a proper form of air transportation?

 

Eventually, they're informed via walkie talkie—that Blaineley had snatched out of Noah's hands before they had even begun to fly—that they are nearly at the challenge site, and Noah lets out a sigh of relief. Being stuck in an enclosed space with a woman who has more than often tried to get him to quit his job and be her assistant instead is among the top ten worse things to happen to him. It might even be in the top seven, not that he'd ever tell her that. It would probably inflate her ego.

 

Time passes slowly, or in Noah's eyes it does, but soon, he can hear Chris' booming voice announcing that two competitors are coming back. He can also faintly hear groans, as well as speculation on who the competitors are. Duncan and Cody both hope one of them is Gwen, while Owen loudly wishes it's Noah—Noah would never admit he smiled at that—and he can recognize a familiar grunt, which comes from a particular Spanish contestant.

 

Good. Let the eel be mad, Noah thinks to himself, before the box is dropped.

 

"She's two hundred pounds of sassy in a ninety pound package and she wears twelve pounds of makeup, and he's two hundred pounds of sarcasm and sixty pounds wet, it's Blaineley and Noah!" Chris announces, and the box opens to reveal the two.

 

"Best buddy!" Owen cries out, a wide smile on his face at the sight of his best friend. Noah gives him a little wave before crossing his arms over his chest, a complete opposite from Blaineley beside him, who's smiling widely as the cameras pan to them.

 

Heather and Courtney both looked annoyed, as does Duncan, Cody and Sierra seem to be confused together, Owen is, of course, as happy as he can be, and Alejandro—

 

He looks pissed. His nostrils are flared as he looks up at Noah, who just smirks back at him. Oh, he was going to enjoy getting under the bastard's skin. Instead of the eels biting him, like they had after Noah had been eliminated, he was going to bite back.

 

Once the music starts, Noah contemplates violating the contract and not singing, but after Blaineley gives him the dirtiest look he's ever seen from her, he does the backup vocals for her song, "Blainerific", which has the potential to go down as the worst song from this season.

 

After the song is finished, Chris plasters a fake smile on his face, clearly trying to wipe the memory of the blonde's song from his mind. "Anything you would like to say, Noah?"

 

"I hope we don't die," he deadpans, before thinking for a second. Of course, an evil thought pops into his mind, and he continues, "oh, and Al's a bitch."

 

The group either let out surprised snorts of laughter—or, in Duncan's case, full-on belly laugh—or gasp, while the bitch himself grins like it's funny, though his eye twitch says otherwise.

 

"Likewise, Noah, likewise." Noah flips him the middle finger before Chris tells him to put it down, because this show is supposed to be family friendly. Yeah fucking right. The cynic listens anyway, just so Chris doesn't subject him to even more torture.

 

The merge is announced, and they are shown a slot machine that has the all the boy's faces, except Noah's.

 

"Why am I not on there?" Noah questions, raising an eyebrow at the host. When he sees a familiar shit-eating grin on the man's face, he immediately regrets asking.

 

"Well, my dear snark, I'm glad you asked!" Chris says joyfully, and that's never a good sign. "We weren't expecting anybody to win the second-chance challenge, and especially not to the two of you. So, we decided to make the two of you brides!"

 

For a long second, Noah contemplates quitting the show like Duncan had in the first episode, but decides against it. How would he be able to torture Alejandro then?

 

So, he just lets out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Of course. Of fucking course."

 

"If it makes you feel any better, buddy, I'm sure you'll look great in a dress!" Owen attempts to cheer him up, which earns him snickers from Heather and Duncan. Noah rolls his eyes but pats Owen's shoulder anyways.

 

"Wait, there's an uneven number, how is this going to work?" Heather asks, and the rest of the contestants agree, unsure of how they were supposed to be paired up if there's nine of them all together.

 

"To make things more interesting, one of you lucky ladies, and Noah, can end up with a bear!" The bear is led out by an intern, and Noah recognizes him from his days as Chris' assistant. The rest of the cast go wide-eyed, especially the boys, considering they are going to be stuck in an enclosed space with the animal.

 

The boys, plus the bear, are all shoved into the casino machine, and the rest of the group can hear complaints and even Cody screaming from inside the metal prison. Huh. Noah's oddly thankful he's a bride instead.

 

Chris says that because Noah's back, he can use the machine first. With a groan, he walks over to the casino machine and pulls the lever, watching as it lands on none other than Alejandro. He slides out of the machine, landing on his ass, and when he looks up and sees Noah, the cynic swears a look of dread passes over his face.

 

"Hey, eel. Did you miss me?" Noah asks as Alejandro stands up, brushing off his pants. They step aside, allowing Sierra to go next, and she immediately freaks out when it's revealed she gets Duncan. She even slams the door over his arm, poor guy.

 

Alejandro merely smiles, looking down at the shorter boy. "Of course, my dear Noah. There is no one else I could have intellectual conversations with on our team." Noah rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as they watch the shit-show in front of them.

 

"Right. Missing me because of my brain. Classic."

 

The couples end up being Cody and Sierra, Courtney and Duncan, Heather and Owen, Noah and Alejandro, and, lastly, Blaineley and the bear. The hostess complains, demanding an actual partner, but Chris just laughs in her face before they are being escorted to the next challenge, which seems simple enough. The brides are blindfolded, and the grooms have to guide them to wedding dresses, making sure they avoid obstacles along the way.

 

Before Noah is blindfolded, he leans towards Alejandro, pulling him down by the collar of that ridiculous red shirt. "Do not fuck this up for us."

 

Alejandro raises his hands in surrender, his green eyes meeting dark brown ones. "I assure you that I want to win just as badly as you do, mi cerebrito."

 

Once blindfolded, the chaos unfolds. Duncan makes it his life's mission to mess with Courtney, making her bump into obstacles left and right, Owen keeps getting distracted which pisses Heather off, Cody leads Sierra off the stage, and Alejandro actually tries.

 

"Two steps to the left!" "Make a sharp right!" "You're almost there, Noah!"

 

To his surprise, Noah reaches his dress first, and when he tears the blindfold off to look at it, the thought of quitting runs through his mind. In front of him is a long, white, sleeveless dress, one that his older sister, Anaya, would dream about wearing. And he gets to wear it, for free, on international TV.

 

How lovely.

 

Nice work, chico!" Alejandro cheers from behind him, and Noah turns to give him a thumbs up, feeling a sense of dread crawl up his spine. Maybe he could get away with wearing his undershirt underneath, so he wouldn't have to show off the scars he'd received after his elimination. He tells himself that it isn't because he's insecure about them or anything, he just wants to avoid explaining them to the other contestants, because he didn't have them when they were in Jamaica. Hiding them is just easier.

 

He looks over just in time to see Courtney land in a puddle of pudding, and while normally Noah wouldn't take pity on her, he just wants to get this challenge over with. "Go to the left, Courtney!" he tells her, and with a confused face, she listens.

 

"What are you doing, nerd? Trying to homewreck?" Duncan scowls, telling Courtney not to listen to Noah. "It's right, princess!"

 

"Can't homewreck a relationship when you were the one who cheated," Noah snarks back, meeting Duncan's glare with his own. Seriously, cheating on international TV? Who does that? Dumbasses, that's who.

 

They continue to argue back and forth, Heather making it to her dress halfway through the argument, and Blaineley somehow making it (though if Noah looks closely, he can see her peeking from underneath the blindfold). Courtney eventually makes it, walking over to Noah to thank him before shooting daggers at Duncan, who easily returns the sentiment.

 

"At least there's one gentleman here," she says pointedly, and Duncan lets out a bark of a laugh.

 

"More like a pansy in a dress!" he replies, looking at Noah with an amused smirk, and Alejandro turns to glare at him.

 

"Perhaps you should worry about your own bride, and I'll worry about mine," he whispers, voice taking on just a hint of a threatening tone. After all, he had said earlier that him, Duncan, and Owen could look out for one another.

 

Before Duncan can say something else, Chris is about to announce the end of the challenge, until Sierra comes barreling forward, reaching her dress with a loud cheer.

 

"Yay! I get to be Mrs. Anderson!" she squeals, taking off her blindfold and looking towards Cody, who looks deeply disappointed.

 

The brides are then told they get ten minutes to change, and they are led to a small changing room, carrying their dresses along with them. When asked if he can wear his shirt underneath the dress, the intern tells him he can't, much to his dismay.

 

As they begin to change, Heather looks over at Noah, raising an eyebrow. "Are you seriously going to change in here with us?" she asks, being met with a shrug.

 

"I have eight older sisters," he tells her, slipping his sweater vest off before his fingers move to unbutton his shirt. "I've done this before with them, and I'm not a pervert like Cody."

 

"Hey! He's not a pervert," Sierra pouts, trying to defend her crush. "He was just very enthusiastic during the first season."

 

"Didn't know 'enthusiastic' was another word for creep," Noah shoots back, slipping off his button down. Most of the girls are already halfway into their dresses, and he knows he needs to hurry up so him and Alejandro don't get disqualified, but fuck. He doesn't want anybody to see the scars.

 

Finally, he takes off his white undershirt, folding it somewhat and putting it with the rest of his shirts. The dress slips over him easily, and Noah knows he can get away with wearing his shorts, so he doesn't bother taking them off.

 

"Somehow, you look nice in that dress," Courtney compliments, giving him an up-down. Her eyes land on the scars on his arms, and Noah catches her looking, but she doesn't say anything. "Do you need help zipping it up in the back?"

 

Noah pauses, wondering why Courtney was being so nice. It was either out of pity for the scars, or because he helped her complete the challenge. Whichever it was, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Uh, yeah. Thanks."

 

Turning around, Courtney zips up the dress for him, and she asks if he would do the same for her, which he agrees to. It reminds him of all the times he's helped his sisters get ready for dates and school dances, and Noah realizes that he misses his sisters.

 

"Thanks!" Courtney says, folding up her clothes and sitting them next to Noah's. She gives him a smile, which looks a little forced, before heading out of the changing room, following Sierra.

 

Blaineley is touching up her makeup while Heather is putting on her tiara, grumbling to herself. "The stupid thing won't stay on," she murmurs, getting frustrated with the cheap plastic.

 

"Push it slowly into your hair," Noah suggests, and despite shooting him a glare, Heather tries it. Sure enough, it stays on, even with her hair being so short.

 

She doesn't thank him, but her glare lessens, and she even waits for Noah to walk towards the door, walking beside him. "How's the Aftermath? Lame as ever?"

 

"Lame, and somehow as tense as a courtroom during a divorce," Noah tells her, fixing his veil. Heather huffs at the sight, before reaching down and fixing it for him. "I'm glad I got out of there, even if I am stuck competing again."

 

"Hey, now you can say you made a merge," Heather quips, an amused smirk on her face. A snort escapes Noah's nose, and he rolls his eyes as the two make it back to the others.

 

When Duncan sees Noah, he immediately laughs, earning him looks from the rest of the cast, besides Owen, who looks oddly mesmerized by the sight of his best friend in a dress.

 

"You're like a princess," he coos, walking over to give Noah a squeeze. "Oh, Izzy would love it!"

 

"Dude, I'm the complete opposite of a princess," Noah tries to reason, but Owen is hearing none of it.

 

Alejandro, meanwhile, cannot stop staring. If his mamá were around, she would remind him that staring is rude, but he can't help it. His eyes are drawn to Noah like a fly to a lantern, like the planets are to the Sun.

 

The cynic shouldn't look as good as he does, but somehow, Noah looks gorgeous. While the dress covers most of him, what it doesn't cover is sharp collarbones, an unblemished neck, and skinny arms that have the faintest hint of muscle to them.

 

Alejandro is hooked. He's only snapped out of his thoughts by Duncan's laughter, and he turns on his heel to face the delinquent. "What is so funny?" he asks, an eyebrow raised as the laughter suddenly falters.

 

"The nerd's in a dress," Duncan replies, practically grinning from ear to ear. "He looks stupid."

 

"And your hair doesn't?" Noah torts, causing Heather to let out a laugh from beside him. Courtney even gives him a high-five, and Alejandro sends him a fond look that is missed. "Seriously, what were you going for? Neon vomit or highlighter?"

 

"How about I come over there and show you the inspiration?" Duncan threatens, clenching his fist as he prepares to stomp his way towards Noah, only being stopped by a strong hand on his bicep. He looks to see Alejandro holding him back, something dangerous in his eyes. "What gives?"

 

"You should calm down before you do something you may regret," Alejandro whispers, a slight edge to his voice. It reminds Duncan of when he was back in juvie, and with a grumble, he shoves the hand off of him, crossing his arms.

 

Pleased, Alejandro moves to stand next to his partner, looking down at him with a dazzling smile. "I must say, you do look nice, cariño."

 

Nearby Courtney chokes, looking at Alejandro with wide eyes. Did he realize what he just said? Did Noah realize?

 

Noah merely shrugs crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, yeah, don't get used to it."

 

Finally, the group is led to the second part of the challenge, which is crossing over a tightrope through Niagara Falls. Which Chris decided to fill with sharks, because of course he would. The man had zero respect for any ecosystem on the planet.

 

"Because Noah reached his dress first, him and Alejandro get a head start!" Chris says, looking at the two boys.

 

Alejandro easily lifts Noah up in a bridal carry, and he smirks down at the smaller teen, whose cheeks were slightly flushed from the manhandling. "Are you ready, Mr. Burromuerto?"

 

"Ready as I'll ever be, Mr. Mudaliar," Noah retorts, and Alejandro carefully steps onto the tightrope, cradling Noah in his arms. He walks slowly, not wanting to fall out of fear of the drop, as well as the sharks in the waters below.

 

Behind them, Duncan and Courtney go next, the latter unimpressed as Duncan throws her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes.

 

Noah gently taps Alejandro's shoulder, reminding, "we should probably go a little faster, before Sierra charges through all of us."

 

Alejandro agrees, picking up the pace slightly, and Noah is oddly content in the Spaniard's strong arms. Everything seems to be going smoothly. Well, until Owen steps onto the tightrope, which causes it to shake.

 

Noah grips onto Alejandro's arm tightly, his eyes accidentally looking at the water below, and he sees a shark fin. It reminds him of his elimination, landing in that pond of eels, feeling them wrap around his limbs and bite and shock him, as they kept pulling him under, under, under.

 

He squeezes his eyes shut, arms coming up to wrap around the back of Alejandro's neck. "Please don't let us fall," Noah whispers, not sure if it's to Alejandro, himself, or any God above. All he knows is that fear is wrapping itself around his neck, threatening to strangle him. His breathing is growing sharper and if he were to open his eyes, he would see Alejandro's worried gaze.

 

"Hey, hey, I swear I will not let us fall," Alejandro promises, holding the shaking boy in his arms just a little tighter. He has never seen Noah so terrified, and it tugs at his heart strings.

 

From behind, they can hear the sound of arguing, mostly coming from Duncan, Courtney, and Heather, before screams can be heard, and Alejandro watches as two of the couples fall into the waters below. All that's left is Cody and Sierra, and Blaineley and the bear, who are doing oddly well.

 

Finally, finally, they reach the shore, where Chef is waiting. "Business or pleasure?"

 

"Pleasure," Alejandro answers for the two of them, gently nudging Noah so he can open his eyes. "We made it, mi cerebrito."

 

Noah cracks open an eye, looking around for deciding to fully open them, and he lets out a sigh of relief at being on solid ground. "Thank God," he says, though he doesn't let go of Alejandro's neck. Not that the other wants him to.

 

They are quizzed on Canadian fun facts, which the two answer easily, grinning at each other all the while. Once they finish, Chef asks them if there's anything they'd like to declare.

 

"I declare that the eel isn't so bad after all." Alejandro pouts at the nickname, but a smile breaks across his face.

 

And I declare that mi cerebrito worried for nothing. I would never let him fall." Oh, if only he knew.

 

The two are told that they'll be together in first class, and that they both have immunity, so they can't vote each other out.

 

"Well, there goes your plan," Noah teases, as he's carried off to the side so they can witness Sierra dwell about marrying Cody.

 

"Actually, I was hoping to vote Duncan out," Alejandro tells him, looking down to meet Noah's surprised look. "Care to join me?"

 

The cynic hadn't expected that, especially after his "bitch" comment earlier. Noah thought he would be good as gone, considering how much leverage Alejandro seemed to have. "Huh. He was a finalist last season, so it would be a strategic move." He looks at Alejandro, who patiently waits for an answer, and has he always been so handsome? "Alright, count me in. Only because he's a dickhead."

 

"That's good enough for me."

 


 

When they all make it back to where the plane is, some more wet than others, Noah and Alejandro are announced as the winners, and the others are told that the two have immunity, and cannot be voted for. Owen is happy for them (though more for Noah), picking his little buddy up and swinging him around, much to the others amusement.

 

Noah stumbles slightly when he's put down, feeling dizzy, and a warm hand on his back stops him from falling over. "Careful there, Noah," a smooth voice says, and Alejandro helps him into the plane. They make their way to first class, immediately flopping down onto chairs.

 

"Fuck, that was terrifying," Noah muses, throwing an arm over his eyes. He was surprised to see that the ones who fell had actually survived, not having been eaten by sharks.

 

Alejandro lets out a huff of agreement, turning to look at Noah and say something, until his eyes catch sight of scars. Very new scars, if he remembers Jamaica correctly. "Are you alright?" he instead asks, gesturing towards Noah's arms. "Those look very painful."

 

Noah goes quiet, realizing that his fear from earlier had come true, because of course it had. "…yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry, they're healed."

 

"May I ask what happened?" Alejandro is curious, wondering what could have possibly happened. He had heard word of an Aftermath, but he wasn't aware of it being as dangerous as the show.

 

Noah is once again quiet, avoiding the other's eyes. Alejandro can feel the sudden tension, and he quickly backtracks, "you don't have to tell me, Noah. I'm just concerned for you."

 

"Right," Noah mutters under his breath, but he doesn't say much else, instead grabbing his pile of clothes and heading towards the nearest bathroom so he can change, leaving Alejandro to wonder if he had screwed up.

 


 

After pulling some strings—which was mainly Alejandro talking to Heather, Sierra, and Cody about eliminating Duncan, and Owen agreeing when Noah suggested they should vote for the delinquent—Duncan was eliminated.

 

He grumbled as he stood up, pulling on the parachute before turning around to face the others. "Whatever, I can't stand any of you anyways," he says, earning him glares from half the cast. Taking a step towards the open door, he calls over his shoulder, "have fun with your boy-toy, Al."

 

Alejandro and Noah lock eyes, shaking their heads at the idea. They watch as Duncan is pushed out of the plane by Courtney, who takes pride in being the one to do it.

 

Afterwards, most of the contestants head to economy, while Alejandro and Noah walk to first class, bumping shoulders along the way. They're greeted with the sight of a wedding cake, which Noah rolls his eyes at.

 

"Thank God Sierra didn't win, because this would further her delusion that her and Cody are married now," he snorts, standing towards it and grabbing a nearby knife. "You want a piece?"

 

Despite knowing he shouldn't, due to the diet that has been instilled on him since childhood, Alejandro agrees. "That sounds lovely, mi amigo."

 

The two each get a piece of cake, which turns out to be a basic vanilla sponge with buttercream filling. Boring, but better than Chef's food. They eat in silence, tension once again filling the room.

 

Finally, after minutes of this routine, Noah simply says, "eels."

 

"¿Que?" Alejandro turns to face Noah, who is staring down at his piece of half eaten cake like it's the most interesting thing in the room.

 

"I landed in a pond of eels after my eliminated, and they bit me," the cynic answers, sitting his plate down to roll of a sleeve, showing off the mix of bite marks and burn scars. "And shocked me. Guess it was fitting, considering what I called you."

 

Alejandro is silent for a long moment, before gently reaching out and tracing one of the scars with his finger. "I can't imagine how that must have felt," he says quietly, eyes looking up to watch Noah's face. "I'm sorry this happened to you, cariño."

 

"It's not your fault," Noah quickly tells him, having heard the underlying guilt in Alejandro's words. "Seriously. I blame Chris for it, if anybody."

 

"He does have no regard for safety." Noah snorts, mumbling, "tell me about it,", and when the two go quiet once again, the silence is less tense and more welcome.

 

Later, the smaller teen sits beside Alejandro on the couch, resting his head on his shoulder. The Spaniard thinks Noah sleepily says something about taking a quick nap, but he's too entranced by the boy beside him to pay attention to words.

 

Mierda. Alejandro thinks he has a crush on his (fake) bride.

Notes:

after notes

not going to lie, i feel like i dropped the ball on this one. this was probably my least favorite day to write for, but i powered through anyways.

i realized halfway through writing that their was an uneven number of contestants, so blaineley got stuck with the bear. also, noah is the one in the dress just because chris likes to torture him.

it can be implied that duncan is kind of homophobic, especially considering the time the show takes place (roughly 2008), and he makes fun of noah wearing a dress. also, i mentioned the scars from the eels because i saw a picture of a bite and it reminded me of noah's elimination, so that's why it's mentioned.

is it gay to think that the guy who you eliminated is hot in a dress? please let alejandro know.

thanks for reading!! hope you enjoyed!! (≧◡≦) ♡

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