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Before Regulus could do anything to stop it, Lilly was drunkenly hauling herself onto the table of the bar, her hips swaying along to the music and her slim fingers reaching through her fiery hair and high into the air to match the rhythm of the music.
Both Regulus and James reached to attempt to coax her down but she cackled down at them, “Get those maulers off my dress ye prods”. James grinned back at her, but Regulus was hammered and ready to go home now. The ‘Marauders’ had invited him, Barty, Evan and Dorcas out for Paddy’s Day, and Regulus had reluctantly agreed for Dorcas’ sake, who wanted to shag Marlene. Well now Dorcas and Marlene are off somewhere doing god knows what, Remus and Sirius have left to do the same, Peter and Mary have both gone and found random people to feel up or let feel them up, and Barty and Evan very loudly stated that they were off to go fuck.
Regulus was about to make a second attempt to coax her off the table, when the song reached the chorus and Lilly squealed shrilly before belting the lyrics in what Regulus knew to be an exaggerated Galway accent.
“Oh Grace, just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger
They'll take me out at dawn and I will die
With all my love, I place this wedding ring upon your finger
There won't be time to share our love for we must say goodbye”
But suddenly Regulus didn’t care at all. He didn’t care that it was late and he was tired and Lilly was too drunk and they were in the middle of Dublin on the North side of the quay’s and would probably struggle to get home without being attacked by a druggy, because Lilly stood above him in her lace green frock looking by all accounts like a Celtic princess, and her voice carried the weight of troubles past and foretold, but within the symphony was harmony, a sound that could cause a battalion to drop to their knees in worship. The audience around them began to silence as Lilly continued singing softly, the words carrying themselves across the grimy pub.
“Now, I know it's hard for you, my love, to ever understand
The love I bear for these brave men, my love for this dear land
But when Padraig called me to his side down in the G.P.O
I had to leave my own sick bed, to him I had to go”
Lilly turned her gaze down to him, and Regulus felt his heart stop in his chest. His breathing ceased as he looked into Lilly’s piercing green eyes, and she stared back at him with a brilliant smile, the words flowing from her mouth and into his heart. He couldn’t hear or see anything else, but the woman in front of him. It was as though she was engulfing his senses, suffocating him with her beauty, and Regulus was so willing to succumb.
“Oh, Grace, just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger
She cupped the side of his face in the palm of her hand.
They'll take me out at dawn and I will die
She crouched down on the table in front of him until their eyes were perfectly level and she was singing the words directly to him,
With all my love, I place this wedding ring upon your finger
She pressed her forehead against his singing the next words softly,
There won't be time to share our love for we must say goodbye”
She pressed her lips against Regulus’. Distantly, he heard the audience erupt into applause and wolf whistles, distantly he knew James was standing right beside them, but he wasn’t able to focus on that, he placed his hands gently on Lilly’s hips as she leaned over at a 90* angle and parted her lips ever so slightly, allowing Regulus to deepen the kiss. She had both hands cupping his cheeks, her loose red hair spilled out from behind her ear pouring over his face, and Regulus had never felt like this before. Sure, he’d kissed a few people, had sex a couple times, but he’d never felt like this, like his bloody soul might leave his body, like his heart might burst out of his chest. Lilly tasted like Guinness, and Marlboro’s and something sweet that Regulus couldn’t quite place. She broke the kiss and leaned her forehead against his, before drunkenly announcing to the room, “I have to go to the bathroom.” And bouncing off.
Regulus took a step back, extremely dazed. He felt a little dizzy, like the song had hypnotized him as a siren would to a sailor. He knew right then and there that Lilly Evan’s had destroyed him like the jagged rocks of the sea upon which the sirens await their pray. He took a breath and gathered his surroundings. It was only then that he turned to see James, and blanched, the boyfriend of the girl he’d just kissed.
“James! I-I’m so sor-”
“Don’t be.” James waved a hand…grinning for some reason, “She told me she’d been wanting to do that for a long time.”
“W-what. Kiss me?” Regulus stammered, confused.
“Yes.” James said simply.
“And that makes it okay?” Regulus asked completely not following the conversation.
“Yes.” James responded again. The band had started going again around them, and the bloody Fenians were bouncing about, spilling their pints across the floor and belting the paddy’s day tunes.
“How?” Regulus asked
“Because I’ve wanted to do it too.”
“I-I’m sorry?”
“Don’t be.” James smirked. Regulus stared at him. The world had become profoundly unreasonable.
Around them, the pub roared on, oblivious to the catastrophe unfolding in its midst. The band had launched into another song, fiddles singing above the thunder of boots against wooden floors. Men shouted over one another. Pints sloshed across tables. Laughter burst like fireworks from every corner of the room.
Yet it all felt strangely distant. As though he stood behind glass. As though the universe had narrowed itself to a single point. James Potter.
"Because I've wanted to do it too."
The words echoed through Regulus's mind with all the subtlety of a church bell. He found himself wondering if he'd finally gone mad. It would explain quite a lot. Lily Evans had kissed him.
Lily Evans—with her autumn-fire hair and forest-green eyes and constellation freckles scattered across skin pale as moonlit cream. Lily Evans, whose smile felt like the first warm day after a brutal winter. Lily Evans, who seemed to carry sunlight within her ribs and spill it carelessly into every room she entered. She had kissed him. And somehow that had been only the second most shocking thing to happen tonight. Because standing before him was James. James, who had somehow escaped the laws of fairness simply by existing. Regulus had spent years pretending not to notice him. Years pretending the sharp line of his jaw wasn't unfair. Pretending the confidence wasn't unfair. Pretending the way laughter transformed his face wasn't unfair. Pretending those dark lashes and stubborn hair and impossible eyes weren't unfair. Years pretending he didn't understand why entire rooms unconsciously shifted toward James like flowers seeking sunlight. But denial was difficult when James was standing three feet away looking at him as though he were the answer to a question he'd been asking for a very long time.
"You wanted to kiss me?" Regulus managed. James's grin softened. Not vanished. Softened. The change was somehow worse. Far worse. It stripped away the swagger and revealed something gentler beneath it, something that made Regulus feel as though the floor had disappeared beneath his feet.
"Yes."
The single syllable settled between them. Certain. Uncomplicated. Dangerous. Regulus laughed once. It sounded slightly hysterical.
"Why?"
James blinked. The expression that crossed his face was almost bewilderment. As though the answer should have been obvious. As though Regulus had asked why the moon reflected sunlight or why the sea chased the shore.
"Regulus."
His name sounded different in James's voice. Softer. The kind of softness that made a person's chest ache.
"Have you ever looked in a mirror?"
"That's your explanation?"
"It's a very good explanation."
"No, it isn't."
"It is from where I'm standing."
The smile returned then, bright and effortless and entirely capable of bringing civilizations to ruin. Regulus was becoming increasingly convinced that entire wars would be waged if someone had simply locked James Potter in a tower where nobody could see him. Unfortunately, nobody had. And now Regulus was suffering the consequences. James took another step closer. The space between them shrank. Not enough. Far too much. Regulus couldn't decide.
"I spent years knowing Lily was the sun."
"The sun?"
"Yes."
Regulus's heart stumbled. James glanced toward the bathroom corridor where Lily had vanished several minutes ago. A look passed across his face then. Fondness. Affection. Love. The sight should have hurt. Instead, strangely, it didn't. Because whatever existed between James and Lily was vast enough that it seemed to illuminate rather than exclude. Like standing before a hearth large enough to warm everyone gathered around it. James looked back at him.
"And then I met you." Something tightened painfully in Regulus's chest.
“What happened then?"
James laughed quietly. The sound wrapped itself around Regulus like smoke.
"I had an epiphany."
"which was?"
"The sun and the stars co-exist in the same sky. They are one and the same. Beauty's that we may observe but never reach for. I've seen the sun and I've seen the stars, now allow them to co-exist on the same plane." Regulus made a strangled noise. And God help him-
He drifted into euphoria as James engulfed him like the blue haze of the changing skies.