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2013-07-01
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The Best and Worst Laid Plans

Summary:

A snapshot, or isolated observation, of what could be new love.

Notes:

This was written for SasuSaku month’s first day prompt, “holding hands.”

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Sasuke was sure that Sakura had been itching to ask him something all week, but instead of asking her point blank what she wanted, he intended to let her squirm until she gathered the courage to confront him on whatever was on her mind. At least, that was the plan.

The plan began to crumble when he passed by the lounge in the hospital on his way out to be discharged from a deep gash in his side. It was only for a few seconds, but it was enough for him to gather from the decorations and banners that there was to be a staff party held soon. He saw “Congratulations” made from a sparkly mass of glitter, and Sakura’s name in large pink print. A party for Sakura? Did she get some sort of promotion?

But, that wasn’t his business. If she didn’t tell him something about her life, then he was in no mood to pry. Unless, of course, that was what has been making her act out of sorts around him lately. Then. Well.

Regardless, he tucked that snippet of information into the back of his mind, and it wasn’t until later in the day when he had turned in an official request of temporary leave to the admissions desk that he ran into Sakura. She was dropping off some forms in a box when she turned around and saw him. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened, but she quickly recovered.

“Oh, Sasuke-kun,” she started. “Um, hi. I, uh, didn’t sense you approaching,” she said as if that explained her nervous behavior. He didn’t bother pointing out to her that she had been in nervous overdrive the entire week.

“Did you get promoted?” he asked in place of a greeting. Well, so much for not prying.

That caught Sakura off guard.

“Huh? No, I’m still a Chūnin,” Sakura scratched at her pink tinged cheek. “Granted, Tsunade-sama has said that I can be appointed to Jōnin at any time I want, but I haven’t... Well. I’ve been a little busy.” She adjusted her shirt, pulling at its hem when her eyebrows furrowed. “Why the sudden question?”

“I saw a congratulatory banner. For you. In a hospital staffroom.”

Now she was flustered. Her cheeks had enflamed and she touched her face as if that would cool it down.

“Oh, that. It’s just. Well, it’s a silly thing. The staff in my main wing will use any excuse to throw a celebration, and Tsunade-sama named me a director. I was practically doing the work already, but what with the war and all the mess before it I wasn’t able to officially do it until now. So, they’re throwing a party for me and anyone else who wants to come.”

“That’s a promotion,” he said in a flat voice.

“Well, yes,” she traded her nervous jitter for a resigned sigh. “But it’s not a field job and I didn’t think you would... Well. It didn’t matter what I thought. Yes, it’s a promotion.”

Her omission caused Sasuke to bite back the “you could have just said yes earlier” that was threatening to creep out of his lips. She didn’t think he would, what? Care? She was doing this a lot lately and not just in the past week. Sakura would utter interjections of thoughts that she never finished. They are always accompanied by resignation. The past week seemed to be amped up more for some unforeseen reason.

He didn’t pretend to understand Sakura’s thought process, but he did know that the combination of the flustered anxiety and depressed resignation around him made her more confusing to him than a decoding mission.

“Ah,” he responded. Not sure what to say, but thinking that this conversation had run its course, he started to walk away.

“Um, I do have something that I want to ask you,” she started.

He stopped in his tracks.

“What is it?” he acquiesced. She was back to picking at the bottom hem of her shirt; Sasuke was sure she would end up ripping a hole in the fabric from her monstrous strength one day if she kept that habit up.

“Well, I was wondering... Since you asked that means you might... If it’s not too much trouble...”

He watched her talk in circles and wondered how long she was going to do this. This as in the... Nervousness. What was she even nervous about? He remembered a twelve year old Sakura through a haze of years of intense training, but he didn’t remember her to be a stutterer. A bit bashful, and a lot more loud, but nothing like the girl in front of him. It was also a far cry from the commanding woman that exuded confidence with every inch of her body he had seen on the battlefield during the war.

Sakura was as different here from that woman she proved herself to be in a fight as night is to day. As much as Sasuke’s previous sentiments to let her work this out without him interfering seemed appealing when Sasuke first noticed her erratic behavior, his resolve on that idea was crumbling in favor of his standard blunt approach.

“Spit it out,” he interjected. At his tone, Sakura dropped her hands to her sides.

“The party,” she started. “isn’t just for employees. They’re for friends, too, and since you’re my... Friend, I wanted to, uh. Invite you. To come with.” She paused. “I invited Naruto and Sai as well,” she added, as if trying to cover her tracks, but he figured that was a given considering she was probably better friends with them than with him, so he didn’t understand why she even bothered to elaborate.

“No, thanks,” he decided. He wasn’t the type to indulge in social events that didn’t involve training let alone social events that included groups of people he had never spoken to before in his life.

She seemed less flustered now, but her shoulders drooped and she gave him a wry smile that crinkled her face into that same resignation she’s been falling into lately.

“Alright. If you change your mind, it’s this Saturday night at six.”

Sasuke recognized that as an opportune moment to exit the conversation, and nodded his head in a final bit of acknowledgement before leaving. He heard Sakura call out a good-bye, but since he had already given his, he didn’t look back.

Three days later Sasuke found himself sorting through mail when there was a knock on the door. He hovered by the doorway for a few seconds and cursed that he didn’t have the ability to sense distinct chakra signatures. He opened the door to reveal Naruto who looked like he looked like he had just woken up. Considering it was his day off, Sasuke wouldn’t be surprised if that was true.

Before Sasuke could ask what he wanted, Naruto stepped around Sasuke to walk in the house while saying, “I need to talk to you about something.”

Sasuke shut the door with a miserable sigh, and he followed Naruto into the kitchen where the blond idiot had begun to help himself and dug through a bowl full of treats. Seeing only fruit, he grimaced and looked up to see Sasuke going back to his pile of mail.

“If you came to say something, say it and be on your way,” Sasuke tore open an envelope and scanned the message inside. A few seconds later he threw it into the trashcan.

“Sakura-chan’s friends at work are throwing her a party and I want you to come,” he poked at an orange in the fruit bowl as if he expected it to transfigure into a confectionary treat. Naruto looked up and saw the expression on Sasuke’s face. “Oh, come on, it’ll be fun!”

“I already told Sakura no,” he said as he ripped open another envelope. Junk again.

“Wait, she asked you? And you said no?”

Sasuke gave him a withering look in response.

“Huh. Why’d you say no?” Naruto asked as he picked up the orange and tossed it in the air.

“Why would I say yes? And did you really come here asking on her behalf without her knowing? Idiot,” he shot back. Most of the mail was junk except a notice for yet another meeting with Morino Ibiki, and...

“Tsunade approved my request of leave,” Sasuke’s harsh tone softened as he reviewed the contents of the notice.

“Where to this time?”

“Land of Iron. I leave in a month or so assuming its leader will let me cross its borders.”

“I hope he does,” Naruto said. “You made a huge mess last time. Be a shame if you let that be your last impression.”

“Thus why I’m going now,” Sasuke cut in. Naruto stopped playing with the orange, his eyes serious for once.

“I’m glad you’re doing this. The whole ‘make amends’ thing.”

“I don’t mind making amends with those who deserve it.”

“And Konoha?”

Sasuke was silent for a moment. He could tell Naruto was scanning him for any flicker of loyalty, but he didn’t see a need for it. Both of them knew Sasuke wasn’t loyal to the village. He was loyal to a ghost who was loyal to the village.

“I don’t mind making amends with those who deserve it,” Sasuke decided on repeating.

Naruto didn’t challenge his answer which was an unusual but appreciated change. He did, however, move the conversation back to the previous topic.

“Why’d you say no?”

Sasuke stared at him.

“The party. The one that if you don’t go to you’ll miss out on all the fun!”

“So you’ve already claimed,” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Unless this party involves a fight, I’m not interested.”

“I would offer to punch you during the party, but I don’t think Sakura-chan would appreciate that.”

“Neither would I,” Sasuke said. “Why are you bothering me on this? She didn’t seem happy to invite me anyway,” Sasuke crossed his arms; Sakura’s recent behavior flooded his mind.

“What do you mean?”

“She kept fidgeting and stuttering,” Sasuke started. Apparently, this was bothering him more than he originally thought. “She’s been nervous around me and it’s... Annoying. I know I’ve been gone a long time, so I’m not the greatest judge of character, but she seems different and normal around other people. It’s probably for the best that I don’t go,” Sasuke felt the assurance in his words slip through his fingers like smoke when he saw how still Naruto had grown. Still with a twinge of pain in his expression.

“Yeah, she’s definitely normal around everyone else,” Naruto grunted out. Did Sasuke detect... Bitterness? “It’s just you who she,” Naruto stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I didn’t...” Naruto trailed off and sighed with slumped shoulders. “She’s just having trouble adjusting to you. Not everyone is as relaxed as me when it comes to change.”

Sasuke stared at his self proclaimed best friend slash rival. The playful energy he had earlier seemed to have been sapped away and replaced by the same resignation Sakura had displayed when he refused her invitation to the party. It was odd to see it on Sakura. It was terrifyingly strange on Naruto.

“It’s just me that she what? Why are you acting like this?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And, as I said, she’s just having trouble adjusting, y’know.”

“Naruto, if you were acting normally I would understand what you’re talking about. And you wouldn’t be feeble and apologize for... Whatever you apologized for. You would punch me and then yell at me for whatever it was. Or are you too chicken to confront me?”

That did it.

An hour later, the two of them were at the Third Training Ground battered and bruised. It was less of a training session and more of a who could take the most punches without collapsing competition. Naruto would say that he won, and Sasuke would concede defeat this round in his head, but argue aloud on principle. Either way, both were taking a break.

“I’m a little jealous,” Naruto conceded as he took a swig from a water canteen. “And before you say it, no, I am not jealous of your abilities. Except the Sharingan. I’m a little envious of that.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

“I just thought that if I worked hard at ninjutsu and became this really cool hero guy that I would get the girl, too,” Naruto threw the canteen to Sasuke who took a few sips.

“‘Get the girl’? You mean Sakura?”

“Yeah,” Naruto propped himself up on his arms. “But, she’s too busy looking in your direction and you’re too busy looking in no direction. We’re like one of those dumb daytime soaps.” Sasuke sat up, canteen forgotten on the ground.

“What do you mean, ‘looking in my direction’?”

“I mean she’s in love with you. Obviously,” Naruto then saw the expression on Sasuke’s face. “Man, and people say I’m clueless.”

“She had said that she...” Sasuke trailed off. “She admitted that she did before, but that was a long time ago. I thought she had gotten over it.”

“Apparently none of us can get over anything ever. We’re the most stubborn team in existence.”

Sasuke looked out to the pond, and let his vision settle on the sparkles created by the low hanging afternoon sun. He didn’t know what to do with this revelation. Usually most things in his life could be solved with a chidori, but a chidori wouldn’t help him deal with Sakura’s anxious affection. After all, he’s already thrown one at Sakura and Naruto and those were both bad ideas.

“Look, I don’t care what you do. Or don’t do,” Naruto made a grab motion at Sasuke who understood the command and threw the water canteen back to him. “Not going to lie, if you started dating Sakura-chan I’d be pretty crushed, but I care about both of you enough to not resent you for it.” Naruto took a swig of water. “Not that it’ll ever happen, but just sayin’,” he added as an afterthought.

There was a few moments of silence soaking in the afternoon sun.

“Huh, this is kind of nice,” Naruto started. Sasuke rose an eyebrow in response. “I kind of just bottled it up or whatever before. Plus, this is the first full fledged conversation I’ve had with you in forever,” he peered over at Sasuke with a genuine grin on his face. “It’s nice having you back, Sasuke.”

Sasuke launched an attack in response, and with that they began round two of their fight.

In the end, Sasuke didn’t go to the party. He was resolute in not going, and yet somehow he found himself sitting on a bench in one of the many smoking designation areas at the hospital. It wasn’t a loud block party where the beats and laughter reverberated down the streets. It was a quiet party that fell silent on Sasuke’s ears. He sat outside for no particular reason he could fathom other than to enjoy the cool summer night’s breeze that could’ve been enjoyed on the porch of his own house.

So, he was surprised when Sakura suddenly appeared and greeted him with a tiny plate of vegetables and dip.

“Naruto said he sensed you out here,” she explained. Sasuke held back an aggravated huff. “Since you won’t come in, I made this plate for you, Sasuke-kun. I know you don’t like sweets, so I, uh. Got you the veggies,” She held out the plate for him to take. Sasuke eyed it for a few seconds before taking it from her hands and biting a stick of raw celery.

“Naruto said you’ve been acting weird around me because you’re in love with me. Is this true?” Sasuke picked at his plate, calm, but when he glanced up he saw Sakura was scarlet in the face and looked ready to jump out of her own skin.

“He said what?”

“That you’ve been nervous around me because you’re in love with me. And I want to know if that’s true.”

She plopped down as if her legs had been zapped of energy with eyes wide and frozen on Sasuke’s face. He swirled a carrot stick in the dip waiting an eternity for Sakura to respond.

“I wasn’t expecting this when I came to offer you food,” she mumbled in a daze. He supposed from her reaction that he was being too forward, but he wasn’t sure how else to approach the topic.

“I wasn’t expecting you to show up and offer me food,” he replied and then took a bite for emphasis. Her mouth opened and closed, but with a deep breath she gathered her bearings, or as much as she could in front of him.

“I don’t know how to deal with you,” she admitted. “On the battlefield, we have roles. And duties. And specific tasks we need to perform. I know how to deal with you there because the goal is to win and to live. I don’t know what the goal is here,” She shot him a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She continued soft-spoken. “You’re you and you make me want to second guess everything I’ve been doing for the past four years. Sometimes I thought I was over you only to see so much as your name and realize that I’m really, really not. So. Yes. Yes, I am still in love with you, and I’m still the silly girl I was when I was twelve no matter how hard I try to change.” Eyes glossy, Sakura took a deep shuddering breath to try to calm herself down.

Sasuke tried to think of how to reply. He brought the subject up in the first place so that with it out in the open she would act normally around him. Seeing her fend off her emotions like a war of the mind made him realize how unprepared he was to respond to her.

He didn’t know what to do with her feelings; it was easier the first time around. He had revenge to worry about and couldn’t return such feelings regardless if he wanted to or not. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t entertained the idea of letting that loud and bashful girl love him, and find it in himself to give love in return, eventually. But, that thought was nothing more than a fleeting idea crushed under the weight of family and honor and revenge and a million other things that were more important than a love life.

Did he want to now, though? There was no revenge in front of him; just a wasteland full of buried lies under the soil of new beginnings.

“You’re different,” he settled on saying. “From how you were before I left.”

She looked more composed, but her hands were clasped in her lap with bone white knuckles.

“It took me a week to get myself under control and invite you to a friendly party that I am currently missing from,” she sighed. “I don’t think I’m all that different.”

Was a compliment the best thing to do here? Sasuke stared at his teammate’s sloping posture and eyes that were determined to focus on her lap.

“You’re different, Sakura. I didn’t witness the entire process, but I got to see the beginning and end. It was for the better, from what little I get to see of you acting normally.”

“And when you see me acting... Abnormally?”

He paused long enough to slowly chew through another carrot as he considered the most tactful way he could answer.

“Kind of annoying.”

She laughed at that. It was the first time he had witnessed her laugh up close in... Years, if he had to be honest. It was nice... It fit her pink tinged face; the stretch of her full lips and the crinkle of her eyes.

“Y’know,” she made eye contact for the first time since her redux love confession. “You said that then as well.”

“What?”

“You called me annoying. When I tried to get you to stay in the village, and, well, told you how I felt.”

“Oh,” was all he could reply with.

“I don’t hold it against you. I probably was pretty annoying to you that night.”

He didn’t want to agree, at least not out loud. She was annoying that night. She tried chipping at him with her words when words couldn’t stop the roiling hatred and helplessness against an unattainable power. Naruto was the same, but with his fists. He had never been so frustrated with her, with both of them, until then.

However, Sasuke remembered that a small part of himself that was happy they were there. That small part of him was as traitorous as he was to the village; it whispered into his ear that all he had to do was turn around, and he could spend another day with them.

Another day wasn’t going to get him the power he wanted. The power he needed. In the end, he squashed that small part of him like an insect the second he crossed the Land of Sound’s borders. He didn’t look back.

At least, that was the plan.

But, all of his plans seemed to crumble lately. He looked over to his teammate who was staring off at the endless sky and maybe, just maybe, he didn’t mind it this time around.

“I like you better like this,” he said.

Sakura snapped her attention away from the sky to look at him, and she blinked her wide eyes once, twice, and a third time.

“Not flustered. Calm. It suits you better,” he added.

“I just,” she paused, and bit her lip in contemplation before steam rolling ahead. “I’m so worried I’m going to do something stupid around you.”

“Then don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t worry.”

“That’s easier said than done, Sasuke-kun.”

“Try doing it anyway. Never give up or whatever Naruto says all the time.”

She laughed again, and, yes, Sasuke was positive he liked her better like this.

“I can try,” she smiled at him, full and sweet. “That’s a promise.”

Sasuke jiggled his plate. Only crumbs were left. “You should go back. You’ve been gone awhile.”

“Oh, right,” she stood up, but didn’t look pleased to be doing it. “It was nice talking to you.”

He nodded in return and watched her walk back inside.

The next day, Sasuke wasn’t surprised to open his door around noon to reveal his self proclaimed best friend slash rival who, with no preamble at all, walked through the threshold.

“Do you have any chakra-eater poison things? I need some,” Naruto said. Sasuke ignored him and walked back to the general living area where an assortment of weapons laid. Naruto eyed the weapons and polishers and what he suspected to be jars of poison, but Sasuke stayed silent.

“So? Do you?”

“That’s not why you came here.”

“It isn’t. But, I do need that for an upcoming mission.”

“Buy your own, dumbass,” Sasuke sneered. He picked up a packet of red stickers and began rolling the handles of the kunai he had out.

“Organizing?” Naruto asked and sat down adjacent from where Sasuke was working. He was barely arms length away, but Sasuke still felt like he was too close.

“Naruto,” he warned.

“Alright, fine. Man, it wouldn’t kill you to have small talk every now and then. Not everything has to have some grand point to it.”

“There’s no point if there’s no point. Also, that’s already poisoned tipped, so I wouldn’t touch it if I were you,” Sasuke inclined his head at the shuriken Naruto was, predictably, about to twirl and play around with. Naruto’s hand retreated back to his lap.

“Anyway,” his tone leveled into something more serious. “You talked to Sakura, didn’t you? About what I told you about her?”

“Yes,” Sasuke paused for a few seconds. “I’m not going to like this conversation, am I?”

“You don’t like most conversations.”

Sasuke grunted in reply.

“What did you say to her?”

Sasuke stared at him.

“She’s acting weird.”

Sasuke didn’t let up his stare.

“Happy. Kind of giggly. I noticed it started after she came inside from talking to you last night and this morning I noticed she was still that way and... What did you say to her?”

“Is her being happy unsettling?”

“No,” Naruto’s eyebrows scrunched up. He was thinking. Hard. And, also a bit... Hesitant? “It’s unsettling to see her that happy after talking to you.”

Sasuke put down the kunais he was marking to give Naruto his undivided attention. Now that he was able to scope Naruto out, he could see the energy that buzzed through his blood with the vigor he usually only held for battle or a good bowl of ramen. This was more than Naruto being restless; the way his eyes didn’t stay in one place seemed to suggest otherwise.

Naruto was nervous, that much was for sure.

Over what was something Sasuke couldn’t deduce by simple observation.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean you’re an asshole,” Naruto paused; Sasuke didn’t bother denying or agreeing with his accusation. “Y’know... I was actually worried last night when she left to talk to you since you decided to be a creeper and hang outside instead of coming in. You seemed bothered by her when we last talked and that meant you were going to do something about it, and when you do something it’s usually shitty.”

“I’ll admit I’m not the most sensitive person in the world, but that doesn’t mean I won’t jam one of these poisoned kunais down your throat if you keep insulting me,” Sasuke warned. Naruto rolled his eyes in response.

“Whatever. But, Sakura seemed really happy after your talk instead of hurt. So. What did you say to her?”

“I asked her if she liked me. She said yes. She gave me food,” Sasuke paused. That was it, wasn’t it? He felt an uneasiness building in his stomach, but chose to ignore whatever was roiling deep in him. “It was pretty uneventful.”

“That was it?” Naruto gauged his expression. His eyes were piercing, and Sasuke was reminded that this was the man who was always two steps away from ripping all of his insecurities out of his chest for casual inspection. He felt the need to put another few feet of distance between them even if he himself wasn’t sure what Naruto was looking for.

Whatever it was, it calmed Naruto’s nerves since he snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Also, wow, subtle much?”

“Shut up,” Sasuke mumbled. “And, yes, that was it.”

“So you didn’t declare your undying love for her?”

“No.”

“And you didn’t exchange promise rings and ask her to be your girlfriend?”

Sasuke glared at him.

“What? I feel like you’re leaving something out! You can tell me, y’know. I am your best friend after all.”

Sasuke stopped glaring and decided to ignore him instead.

“Come on!”

“Stop poking the subject,” Sasuke bit out. His resolve to ignore his hyperactive blond friend was as solid as a wind release technique. At least Naruto seemed less nervous now.

Naruto made some kind of exasperated noise and laid back with his arms outstretched. He resembled a small child that lost a game of go-fish.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and let a grace of silence fall over them as he began tinkering with the last of his labels. Soon he was able to collect them carefully into a tub by his side. A clock could be heard distantly ticking away the seconds, and after awhile Sasuke was sure Naruto must have fallen asleep.

He pulled his chokutō out; the sleek blade gleamed under the fluorescent lighting. He hadn’t cleaned it after training the previous day, so he examined it.

It was then, staring at the minute cracks of his worn sword, that Sasuke let himself reflect. He still didn’t understand why Naruto came over today. Sure, to ask about his hasty talk with Sakura last night, but what did that have to do with him? Why was he getting involved and worried? Sure, Naruto cares about Sakura, but she was apparently doing well, so he didn’t see any need to ask the specifics. It should’ve been a relief. Why was he so...?

“Naruto,” Sasuke called out.

There was a flippant mumbling in response.

“Naruto,” he tried again, but this time he shook his napping friend’s leg. Naruto’s eyes blinked open as he mumbled what Sasuke assumed to be curses at him.

“Whuzzit?”

“Are you worried that I’ll love Sakura back?”

“Huhn?” Naruto struggled to shrug off the last remnants of sleep, but he seemed to understand what Sasuke said. Somewhat. For his benefit, Sasuke repeated his question.

“No. Well, kind of. But, not really.”

“Naruto.”

“What?” There was a bite to his words, but Sasuke chalked it up to just waking up.

“Giving me several answers is the same as none.”

“Several answers is several answers,” Naruto said through a yawn as he ignored the glare Sasuke shot at him.

“Well?”

“Well what? And, why the sudden question?”

“Are you really going to ask that after you stormed into my house and demanded I answer questions about something that had nothing to do with you?”

“Jeeze, you make me sound like I knocked down the door and tortured the information out of you.”

Sasuke didn’t let up his glare.

“Fine, whatever. I’ll spill my guts. Happy?”

“I would be if those guts weren’t metaphorical,” Sasuke deadpanned.

“Asshole,” Naruto mumbled. “I’m not worried you’re going to go all lovesick and run after Sakura. Doesn’t sound like you. I am worried that you’ll jerk her around which is what I thought you did last night. Gave her some kind of false hope or whatever. I told you this already.”

“You didn’t say any of this earlier, idiot.”

“Well, whatever, I meant it. False hope is a shitty thing to do, y’know. It’s lying, and sometimes even lying to yourself.”

“I don’t see how false hope has anything to do with this.”

“It was just my original guess, is all,” he shrugged. “I was wrong, though, right?”

Sasuke tried to piece together the whirlwind of events that had been his life the past week in regards to his teammates. He felt something brewing in him deep and weighing him down the more and more he had these talks. At this point, he wished he could pretend he never pursued the topic originally. He wished he could go back to his original plan of not prying Sakura for information about that party because then he wouldn’t be spending his every second since then thinking and talking about her. She consumed his thoughts like a raging fire in his brain, and all he wanted was to stuff the issue in a box in his mind, lock it tight, and throw away the key.

“You’re always wrong, Naruto. Besides, I’m not a liar.”

Naruto gave a hmpf in response, and Sasuke couldn’t tell if he was scoffing at the insult or his denial. He suddenly felt the urge to fight him on it, but he dropped the subject for the sake of dropping the subject, hopefully, once and for all. Instead, he took in Naruto’s lax posture and realized the man still looks tired.

“Did you sleep last night?”

“Huh? Oh,” Naruto didn’t seem bothered in the change in subject; instead, he scratched the back of his head with a grin on his face. “I slept, but for a couple hours. Had to get up at the crack of dawn for a mission briefing.”

They talked only for a bit more. Upon hearing details about the mission Naruto was going to partake and a lot of begging, Sasuke lent him some supplies if only to supplicate the man into leaving his house faster.

With the door shut, his conversation with Sakura ended with her feelings in the open, and his followup conversation with Naruto tied in what he would call a neat little bow, Sasuke hoped that the issue would close as well.

It didn’t.

Two weeks later, he found himself in his courtyard practicing forms. With Naruto recently off, he didn’t have an adequate training partner anymore for at least a week. While he acknowledged the strength of the other members of the over-inflated team seven, the age group of friends he had grown up with, and even his newer team, none of them gave quite the thrill and effort that he got out of a spar with Naruto. So, he stuck to himself in isolation. It was much easier to deal with himself than others after all.

He was interrupted by someone calling out for him at his front door. He was too deep in the house to hear knocking, so whoever was out there must’ve known he was engrossed in training to resort to yelling.

He wiped down his neck with a towel. He was slick with a fine coating of sweat from a combination of sweltering July weather and fire release techniques. He recognized the voice before he got there, but didn’t bother stalling as he opened the door.

“What is it?”

Sakura was standing before him with her hands behind her back. She looked worried; her eyebrows were drawn together and her lips drawn in, but upon seeing him she seemed to relax and melt into a small smile.

“Hey,” she started. “I was just checking up on you. You haven’t been to the training field in awhile which is, well, pretty weird.”

“Ah. Naruto’s out of town,” he said with a slight shrug.

“He’s not the only person you can spar with, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke just tilted his head in response. He didn’t want to go into why he wasn’t in the mood to fight others or even try to explain why he didn’t think fighting anyone else was worth his time at the moment, so he settled on another shrug. However, he let her words wash over him, and a trickling idea formed in his mind.

“Did the Hokage or someone of relevant rank send you here? I know she thinks me being quiet means I’m plotting something,” he rolled his eyes. “I’m not, by the way,” he added dryly.

“Oh, no, I’m here of my own accord!” she swatted at the air in front of her face; he could see a blush blossom on her face. “Well, I was asked by Kakashi-sensei and Jūgo-san the other day to check up on you. So, I guess this is on their behalf as well.”

Sasuke felt a sharp pang at remembering the past week or so. He had holed himself up in his house more than usual with exception to his last spar with Naruto at the Third Training Ground. He didn’t feel bad about not letting everyone keep tabs on him; if anything, he found it annoying that the people in his life felt like it was their duty to constantly baby-sit him. However, he did find a trickle of guilt leaking in his brain about not having seen Jūgo recently as the man’s control of himself was a lot more efficient when Sasuke was around.

“I’ll pay them a visit so that they can see I’m not scheming anything nefarious.”

“Good,” she seemed satisfied with his answer, but her eyes seemed to wander him, and into his house. He caught what she was thinking with ease.

“Do you want to come in?” he gestured with his head behind him before he could stop himself. He wasn’t one for company, but having paused his training for as long as it took to answer the door made him realize just how much he needed a break right now. For a moment, it looked like she was going to refuse, but she stepped inside regardless and followed him inside the house.

“Thanks. I’ve been popping in and out of places doing errands all day, so I’m a little tired,” she looked a little lost, so Sasuke gestured for her to sit down.

“Tea?”

“Sure! Whatever you have.”

He began fiddling with pots and the stove. When he got everything prepared, he turned around to see Sakura staring idly at the boxes he has stacked in a corner.

“They’re weapons. I needed to restock,” he gestured to his wrist, but specifically the weapons summoning tattoo he had underneath bandages that they both knew was there. “I was running low.”

“Oh,” Sakura stated. Another small blush tinged her cheeks as she looked away perhaps a little embarrassed to be caught staring, but it quickly subsided. “Are you restocking because you’re leaving for the Land of Iron soon?”

He raised an eyebrow. “How did you know about that?”

“Tsunade-sama,” she chirped. “She counsels with me sometimes. Also, Naruto has a big mouth.”

“Ah,” he leaned against a counter next to the stove and folded his arms. “I needed to restock anyway, but the trip raised it up on my priorities list.”

“I see.”

A silence fell over them as the tea brewed. Sasuke tried to imbue the silence around him to quell the tiredness in his bones in some form of awkward standing meditation. It was impossible, though, with Sakura sitting a few feet away from him. She wasn’t doing anything in particular to distract him, and it was when he abandoned trying to calm himself that he realized that Sakura was acting pretty normally.

Well, at least one thing worked out.

“Is something wrong?” Sakura’s face was flush, and Sasuke realized he had been staring at her for a few minutes without saying anything.

“No. I, uh,” he felt a little hot under the collar, and his words weren’t coming as easily anymore. He took a calming breath. “I just noticed you’re a lot more comfortable around me now.” He checked on the tea and decided it finished, so he began pouring cups.

“Oh,” she said. Her blush seemed to be stuck to her face permanently. “I took what you said to heart, is all. Besides, you seem willing to talk to me now, and that’s all I’ve wanted.”

“Is it?”

“Is it what?”

“Is that honestly all you’ve wanted from me?” He placed a cup in front of Sakura. Being so close to her and seeing the steam billow over her face, Sasuke felt a tinge of uncertainty over whether that was a good thing to ask. She seemed frozen; her mouth dropped open and eyes wide like the day she met him for the first time in over two and a half years, but this time with a blush peppered across her face. At this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if her face permanently turned the color of her hair before she left at the rate this conversation was going.

“Do you really want the answer to that?”

Sasuke sipped his tea. Did he? He remembers how much he wanted to throw this topic into a dungeon and never ever revisit it, but whenever he spoke on the matter he took a completely different approach. He was walking in an endless circle saying no he won’t do that and no he won’t do this, but in the end he did it anyway. A walking contradiction that claimed that the past week had settled and the conversations he had were pointless for the future, yet he still found his moments alone were spent reflecting on it and his moments with her spent wondering about more.

Maybe he did want the answer to that and to pursue this topic more than he originally thought.

“Yes.”

“No, it’s not all I’ve wanted,” she stood up, her tea in hand. For a second he thought she was leaving, but apparently she got up for the sake of standing up. They weren’t eye level; he still had almost an entire head worth of height over her, so his eyes had to plunge down to observe her hands that gripped her cup like a lifeline and the way her knees seemed to shift. His gaze drifted back to settle on her face, the same face of flustered embarrassment, but she seemed intent on keeping her lips firmly together.

“Then what do you want?”

“Why do you want to know?” she countered. His eyebrows went up; he didn’t expect her to move around his question. She always seemed willing to comply when he asked like an obedient dog. Now, though, her chin was raised in some act of defiance that he didn’t quite understand.

“Because I want to know.”

“But, why, Sasuke-kun?”

“Why do I need a reason?”

“Because,” she faltered. “Because I’m not some kind of dispenser for your benefit. Why do you want to know what I want? Are you going to do something about it? Or do you just want me to spill my guts for the sake of it?” She was glaring now and her body stood more straight. She put aside the tea she had been drinking for the sake of having her arms gripped loosely at her wide set hips.

“I like to have any and all information available to me,” he bit out. “I don’t like people keeping things from me or lying to me. I’ve had more than a lifetime of that already,” He could feel anger bubbling up inside him along with something else. He was warm and the room was now too warm and he shouldn’t have made tea because it was settling heavy in his stomach. “Is that enough reason?”

She seemed to falter at that; her eyes softened. If there was anything Sasuke knew he could count on when it came to her, it was that she had the innate ability to emphasize and understand his words beyond the surface. If he trusts anyone to understand his words without having to make him spell out the ghosts that obviously haunted them, it would be her.

“Sasuke-kun, you’re so confusing that I don’t know what to do with you,” the fight seemed to leave her with a single sigh. “I already told you that, yes, I still like you. I love you, really. What do you want me to do? Tell you in detail what I want to do with you? Do you want me to tell you the amount of times I’ve fantasized kissing you? Being with you? Just sitting there and enjoying your company as you hold my hand? Because it’s a lot, Sasuke-kun. And it’s painful to talk about something that’s never going to happen. I know that you’ve taken a new path of asking questions and talking things through, and that’s wonderful, but please, please, remember that some of the things you ask of others can be painful. I’m not someone you can just jerk around.”

“I’m not jerking you around,” he felt the need to defend himself even if he could see her point. But, still...

“It feels like you are.”

“How?”

“For starters, you’re asking me about feelings I have for you that you have no plans of doing anything about.”

“How do you know that?”

“How do I know what?”

“How do you know I don’t want to return those feelings?”

She stilled at his words. Her eyes were wide, and instead of anger or reigned he saw some flicker in her eyes. It looked like hope. “Do you?”

He paused for a few seconds, and took in the change he caused with a few simple words. He thought honestly, truly deep down honest, about what to answer.

“I don’t know.”

He had never thought this far. He kept closing the situation off before he could even get close to getting this far. He was never asked about his feelings; it was always about what other people felt about him. She didn’t even expect him to tell her his feelings; she had assumed he had no interest. In fact, so did Naruto. Upon closer inspection, Sasuke realized he had explored that possibility only once in his life, and it was crushed by his need for revenge. He had touched upon the idea of it again that night of the party, but he didn’t bother thinking it through. There had been no impetus to go through with figuring out his own feelings since it wasn’t expected of him.

He hasn’t had much say in any of this; it was people telling him what they think he likes and what they think he wants. No one bothered to ask him what he wanted for himself.

“I don’t know what I want,” he continued. “My entire life was decided by other people, so I guess I got used to it, but at least let me decide how I feel about this. These kinds of things are supposed to be about mutual decisions or whatever, right?” He felt out of his element. He knew how to fight; he knew vast techniques and tactics to help him win, and he had a boatload of experience under his belt. But, this? This was a completely different animal. Knowing how fast he could discharge a chidori nagashi through his blade to paralyze his opponent wasn’t going to help him here.

“Yeah,” she replied. “They are.”

They stood there in silence. Sakura was no longer angry or hurt. She seemed to be trying to observe and catch every detail about Sasuke from his posture to his breathing rate. She looked content yet wary yet hopeful yet critical. She looked a million things at once and it was overwhelming.

“I don’t know what to do, either,” he admitted. Sakura’s eyebrows rose. “What do people do to figure this out?”

“Well, there’s a few options,” Sakura looked up at a space above them as she crossed her arms. It was her typical thinking pose; Sasuke recognized it from back when they took missions together as young genin. “Spending time with that person for starters. Figure out if they match your likes. If they’re someone you can see yourself being with, you can ask them out on a date. Try them out, so to speak. If you don’t feel anything for them, then you can stop and decide that person is better as a friend. If you feel fond of them, or even like them and find yourself wanting to spend more time with them, then you should continue dating and form a relationship with them,” she blinked as if snapping out of a trance. “Or something like that.”

“Alright, then. Go on a date with me.”

“What?”

“I know you and I’ve already found you suitable, so onto the next step. Go out on a date with me.”

Sakura blinked. Several times. Despite the fact that she laid out a plan, she seemed to be having a hard time grasping that Sasuke was willing to follow along with it. It was too good to be true.

“Oh. I. Okay.”

“What do we do on this date thing?”

He didn’t expect a giggle to suddenly erupt from Sakura. She tried to cover her mouth, but he could still hear her. He could still see the crinkle and twinkle in her eyes.

“What’s so funny?” He couldn’t see what was funny about his question; he was doing this just like she laid out, right?

“Oh, nothing. Just. Let me plan this out, okay? I have more knowledge about the subject, so it’ll go smoother. I’ll tell you the details after I’ve planned it all out.”

He let out a huff, but agreed with her plan. There wasn’t much to the conversation after that; Sakura informed him she would go home and plan it out. Afterwards, she would inform him of it tomorrow at noon, and told him to expect it sometime later in the week. He didn’t see why so much time would need to pass, especially since he would be leaving for the Land of Iron soon, but she assured him that’s how dates usually go. He took that explanation at face value, and soon Sakura left his house smiling much wider than he had ever seen her smile.

It was nice.

Just as she promised, Sakura stopped by on her way to a shift at the hospital to tell him sparse details of the date and the fact that it would take place Saturday evening. He had thought she looked happy when he last saw her leave, but that was nothing compared to now. She looked completely radiant; the world might as well orbit around her because she far outshone the sun.

She left as soon as she came, and it wasn’t until the next day when Sasuke had finished dressing himself and was a few feet out the door that he felt a presence accompany him. Sasuke didn’t stop walking, but did address his new companion.

“Mission accomplished?”

“Obviously.”

“Why are you following me?”

“Because you didn’t stop when I appeared, asshole,” Naruto, still garbed in what Sasuke would call his “official” outfit despite it not being up to par with Konoha regulations for a distinct lack of green and blue and a lot more orange, sped up until he was side by side to Sasuke.

“I thought you would take that as a sign to go away.”

“Do I ever take any sign you throw at me and go away?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes in response.

“Anyway, are you going to spar?”

“You look a little worn to be challenging me, Naruto.”

“I could take you on with one hundredth of my strength!”

“You would only have a chance if I was already unconscious. But, I’m not training right now. I’m doing a courtesy call.”

Naruto’s eyebrows shot up. He knew by courtesy call Sasuke meant he was visiting a friend. “A courtesy call? You? Did hell open up while I was gone?”

“Shut up, idiot. What are you doing here anyway?”

“Visiting my favorite jerk, what else? Also, I wanted to talk to you about Sakura...”

“No.”

“What?”

“I’m not doing this again,” Sasuke also set Naruto with a glare. The man in question looked confused.

“I just wanted to ask wh--“

No.”

“Jeeze, maybe you shouldn’t do your miraculous courtesy call today. You seem kind of wound up.”

“You’re the reason I’m wound up,” Sasuke growled and punched his friend in the arm.

“Ow, hey,” Naruto swiped a kick at Sasuke’s feet, but Sasuke jumped in time to dodge. “Who are you visiting, anyway?”

“Jūgo. I haven’t checked up on him in awhile, and I’m leaving soon.”

“That actually sounds like a good idea,” Naruto stretched his arms out, and for the first time Sasuke caught more than a casual glance of Naruto; he was ragged and a little paler than usual. He also seemed to be favoring his right side to walk.

“You should rest up. You just got back, didn’t you?” Sasuke paused his speech momentarily as they rounded a corner and passed some ninja on village patrol. “Why’d you seek me out without getting some rest?”

“What, worried about me? I’m touched!”

Sasuke attempted another side punch, but Naruto blocked that one. He let out an aggravated huff as Naruto chuckled.

“This is my own courtesy call, I guess.”

“I’m fine.”

“I know you are.”

“I’m serious, Naruto.”

“So am I,” he huffed, but it lacked conviction. “Besides, you’re leaving in a few days and I wanted to make sure I got to bother you a little before you leave.”

“Mission accomplished,” Sasuke grumbled as they arrived at the small apartment complex where Jūgo lives.

“Obviously,” Naruto laughed. “I’ll leave now. Tell Jūgo I said ‘hey’!” With a puff of smoke, Naruto was gone.

“Dumbass,” Sasuke muttered as he made his way to Jūgo’s door. He knocked and waited and eventually, the door was opened a crack to see who it was only to fling open to reveal Jūgo’s relieved form.

“Sasuke! Come in,” Jūgo stepped aside and gestured inside. Sasuke walked through the threshold and sat at the island table bar. It was his usual sitting spot when he visited Jūgo.

The apartment was not only spotless, but also very barren and spacious. It looked as though no one lived here.

“Tea?” Jūgo asked.

Sasuke nodded. Jūgo fiddled with getting some tea brewing. The light clank of pans filtered through the air and nothing else.

“It’s very quiet today,” Sasuke remarked.

Jūgo lit the stove and sat at the same table Sasuke occupied. “Yeah. It’s a nice change. Sometimes it can get very loud especially on good sales day outside and it’s... It’s very hard to concentrate during those times.”

“Does it get loud often?”

“Uh. No. Just... every now and then.”

“You should have Tsunade move you, then.”

“No, I don’t want to trouble Hokage-sama. She’s already done enough, and I can manage it. Besides, I like this part of town. There’s a lot of nests here.”

“There are more in the rural parts of the village,” Sasuke pointed out. Although he had to admit to himself Jūgo wasn’t exactly living in an urban area; it was more straddling the line between the main part of city and the suburbs.

“Yes, but... I’m fine here. It’s nice to just see people around me. Plus, I’m closer to Hokage-sama in case anything goes wrong.”

Sasuke nodded and dropped the subject. The conversation became stilted as Sasuke went on to update Jūgo on his life including his upcoming trip to the Land of Iron.

“Have you visited Suigetsu or Karin recently?” Jūgo asked.

“No.”

“Are you going to?”

“Probably not. They’re not on my way to the Land of Iron.”

“Karin is.”

“Not the way I’m going.”

“Oh.”

“Have you been managing yourself well?”

“Just one. I ruined a lab.”

“Ah.”

“No deaths, though!” Jūgo perked up at that.

“Good.”

Jūgo eyed him, and Sasuke realized Jūgo sensed the insincerity of his last statement. He was a lot like Naruto or even Sakura in that way. They could all sense the undercurrent of Sasuke’s mood. The difference was that Jūgo tended to have more realistic expectations of Sasuke instead of an overbearingly earnest view. Instead of challenging him, Jūgo changed the subject.

“I’ve noticed you haven’t been to the training fields recently, and you haggled a rescheduling of your monthly check-in with Morino Ibiki,” with a steadfast expression on Jūgo’s face, Sasuke realized he didn’t think he was changing the subject.

“I’ve been staying on my own property to train, and I rescheduled because of my preparations to leave was going to interfere with our usual date,” at the mention of date, Sasuke remembered his own date that he made with Sakura. “Besides, I’ve been dealing with... Sakura.”

“Is there something wrong with her? She looked healthy last I saw,” Jūgo clutched his cup a little too hard so that it cracked. “Oh, I, sorry. I just.”

“It’s fine. It’s your cup. And she’s fine, too,” he added that last part upon seeing how worried Jūgo looked over Sakura’s health. Sasuke was then reminded that Sakura was one of the main people assigned to look after Jūgo, and he probably cares for her. At least, that’s what the cracked cup seemed to say. “I mean I’ve been dealing with her in a...” Sasuke searched for a good phrase. “She likes me and I’m going on a date with her,” he finally settled on saying.

“Oh,” was all Jūgo could manage as he got the pieces of his cup into the trash. Jūgo sat down at the table again, but this time he was more rigid.

“So, you like her?”

“I don’t know. That’s what the date is for.”

A few tense moments of silence fell over them, and Sasuke wondered if Jūgo also liked Sakura, and that’s why he’s suddenly more confrontational. That thought was shot down when Jūgo suddenly relaxed with a faint smile on his lips.

“You’ve changed a bit since coming here, Sasuke.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

“It’s nice to see you interacting with others, is all.”

Sasuke didn’t feel as though that clarified anything at all, especially since Jūgo just accused him of withdrawing himself from society, but he let Jūgo have that thought.

“I should probably leave. I still have some things to do today.”

After the last bit of pleasantries were exchanged between the two, Sasuke left to finish his other errands for the day. After a few hours of running around the village, Sasuke decided he had had enough for today and made it back to his house before sunset. With the few hours of daylight he had left, Sasuke decided to train until nightfall so that he could wash up and spend the rest of the night relaxing.

However, Sasuke had just finished showering when someone knocked on the door.

“Why am I so popular lately...?” Sasuke muttered to himself as he hastily ran a towel over his still damp hair. Irritated, he left the cloth on top of his head and opened the door, but immediately slapped his arm to the side to stop the person from trespassing. The person in question almost ran into the outstretched arm, and had to jump back.

“Woah,” Naruto said. “You trying to keep me out?”

“What gave me away?” Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Let me in. I want to talk.”

“No.”

“Wha-- Come on!”

“No. I am all talked out. I’ve talked more in the past couple weeks than I have in the previous four months combined. I’m spending the next couple of days before I leave for the Land of Iron in silence. Go away.”

“Spending it in silence, eh? What about your date? With Sakura-chan?”

“I’m making an exception for that. Go away,” Sasuke attempted to shut the door at that, but Naruto easily stopped him.

“You’re not even going to ask how I know about that?”

“You’re friends with Sakura and you like to stick your nose in my business; how would you not know? Go away.”

“I’m not leaving, bastard. I really have to talk to you.”

Sasuke let out a growl and threw his arms up in the air as he walked away from the door. He turned slow enough to see Naruto do a small fist pump in victory.

“What do you want and make it quick,” Sasuke plopped down in a chair in his kitchen and glared daggers at Naruto.

“Okay, fine. I just wanted to ask what’s up.”

“Not much has changed since you talked to me this morning, idiot.”

“I mean to ask what’s going on with you in general,” it was Naruto’s turn to roll his eyes. “You’ve been quiet ever since you started living in the village again. I can barely get you to talk, and suddenly a couple weeks ago you start... Interacting. I mean, I used to have to beg you talk to other people and even if you didn’t go into the party Sakura’s work friends were throwing her you still showed up.”

“So what you’re saying is that even if you beg me to talk to people, you actually mean you want me to keep ignoring people and keep a status quo? I can do that.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“I’ve been suspecting that you’re up to something, okay?!” Naruto let out in a rush. “You don’t always have the best intentions when it comes to the village. Actually, screw that. You don’t ever have good intentions towards the village. I know you swore that you wouldn’t kill anyone, but it’s not as if you’ve never broken an oath before.”

“I have no plans to break my promise,” Sasuke couldn’t help but feel robotic in his response. Since when did Naruto begin suspecting his motives? Since when did Naruto’s rose colored glasses crack?

“I see the way you look at the villagers. You still hate them. A lot. I get that you can’t let things go, I really do, but when I see you get vicious towards a stranger over looking at you for too long, I get worried that you’re planning something. Because you’re always planning something.

“And the past couple of weeks were a big change. It was as if you were putting a plan in motion? I don’t even know. I just know that you’re suddenly talking with me a lot more. Just look at tonight when you let me in! You wouldn’t have given in a month ago! You would’ve swung at me and used my temporary loss of balance to shut me out of your house. Why do you think I force my way through? I’m trying to just... Understand. What’s going through your head.

You’re interacting with us more and you even set yourself a date. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the who, but that’s not as important as the why. None of that is like you and I want to know what happened? Or, what’s going to happen?”

Naruto plopped down in a chair next to Sasuke. His shoulders were slumped, and he looked as tired as he did this morning. “Just tell me what you’re thinking. I’m tired of guessing, Sasuke.”

“I’m thinking you’re an idiot.”

Naruto didn’t get riled up or offer his own banter. Instead, he stared at Sasuke. Waiting.

“I’m not planning anything. I’m not going to decide to get revenge on the village and start killing civillians for absolutely fucking me and my brother over a thousand times over. He wouldn’t have liked that, so I’m not going to. You can count on that, if anything, to be true until I die a miserable old death.”

“So why the change?”

“Maybe I’ve been worn down by obnoxious behavior.”

“Sasuke,” Naruto warned.

“I don’t know! I didn’t even realize any stupid change you’re talking about. I’m just acting like myself,” Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose, and another familiar conversation he had today drifted into his mind. “Fuck, this is a common idea isn’t it? Jūgo was telling me I’ve changed and that it’s nice to see me talking to others or whatever. Except he looked happy. You look like your cat just died.”

“I don’t have a cat. I just have a rude asshole I like to look after.”

“I don’t need to be looked after. I can take care of myself.”

“Hey, I didn’t say the rude asshole was you,” the first signs of humor seemed to be returning to Naruto. Sasuke tried to ignore how relieved he was to hear it.

“Shut up,” Sasuke took the towel he had forgotten on his head, and after a few seconds of thought, he whipped it at Naruto.

“Hey!”

“That’s for not believing in me.”

“I was trying to be realistic for once! People keep yelling at me about you and then you go and do weird things and I want this to work out,” Naruto grumbled. He picked at his sleeve as an air of uncomfortableness settled over him. “So... Then this date thing is... Real?”

“What?”

“It’s not some sort of diversionary tactic to make us think you’re settling in Konoha when you’re actually going to turn around and set it on fire?”

“No,” There was a pause. “Did you really think that?”

“The fire thing sounded kind of poetic,” he shrugged.

“Ah. Well, no. My plans for Konoha involve a lot less fire.”

Naruto perked up. “So, you admit to having plans for the village?”

“My plan is to make sure you keep your promise of seeing this world to peace. I don’t want what happened to me to happen to anyone else. Nothing more and nothing less. That is my promise to you.”

“Good,” Naruto grinned, but soon the grin dropped. He was struggling with something, but Sasuke couldn’t pinpoint what exactly. He had been reassuring, right? As angry as he is, he meant every word he has said tonight. So, why is Naruto still down? Did he need more reassurance?

A thought smacked Sasuke in the face as he recalled Naruto’s words earlier and then connected it to what he knows and...

“You’re not happy about me going on a date with Sakura, are you?”

“What!? No! I mean. I’m happy with it! It’s totally cool!”

“You’re a shit liar,” Sasuke deadpanned. Seeing the vehement denial cemented it.

“It’s fine! I’m fine! I already said it would be, remember!”

“Then stop yelling.”

“I’m not yelling!”

Sasuke stared Naruto down. A myriad of emotions fluttered through on Naruto’s face until he face-planted into the table.

“I’m a little not fine,” Naruto mumbled. “I didn’t think you would go after her.”

“Well, I did, so no point in wallowing over it.”

“Gee, thanks for that,” Naruto snorted. “What made you change your mind?”

“My mind wasn’t made. Still isn’t.”

“Huh?”

Sasuke shrugged. “I never had time for... Dating... Before. And, I do now. So, I asked her out. That’s all.”

“I don’t know how you manage to be so simple and so complex at the same time.”

“It’s a gift, I’m sure,” he said tiredly. “Is that all you came for?”

“Hmm? Yeah,” Naruto stood up and stretched. “Man, talking with you always makes me tired.”

“You could always do it less,” Sasuke stood up as well, and he felt some of the same tiredness trickle through his own body.

“Nah. You’re my favorite person to bother,” Naruto grinned. Sasuke rolled his eyes and guided Naruto out the door. “Hey, hey, stop pushing.”

“Then leave faster.”

Naruto was out the door, and waved. He turned to leave. Sasuke kept the door ajar and leaned against the frame.

“Hey, Naruto.”

“What?” Naruto stopped.

“You’ve been asking me over and over, so... Are you going to be alright about this?”

Naruto blinked. “Is that... Are you worried about me? Aw, Sasuke, you’re going to make me blush!”

“I’m not worried! Shut up, idiot! I was just returning the question!” Naruto continued teasing him, so Sasuke turned into the house and slammed the door. Despite his rash behavior, he let the familiar taunts of Naruto reassure him that everything was going to be alright.

A couples days later, however, Sasuke found he was decidedly not alright.

He tugged his collar up as he surveyed himself in a mirror. The more time he had to think about this whole date thing, the more he realized he was stepping into unknown enemy territory. While it was very unlikely Sakura was going to attempt to assassinate him again, he at least knew what to do in that situation. He has no idea what was expected of him tonight. He knew this before, but it’s different now. Now, it’s real. The night is young and here and Sasuke feels a lot less sure of himself than he did before. Was he supposed to tell her nice things? What kind of nice things? What’s a nice thing to say to someone, anyway?

Sasuke stepped out onto his porch and stretched. In the wake of the setting sun, the sky and land was painted in reds and oranges. Night bugs were waking up, and the warmth of the summer day was starting to settle down. In an hour, it would be the perfect setting for Sasuke to take a walk, but he settled his hands in his pocket and started his pace to Sakura’s house.

She didn’t give him a lot of information about this date. Or, at least he didn’t think she did. There might be assumed behaviors that most people would already know about before going into one of these things he figured. The problem was that he seemed to have missed that expected knowledge.

She did tell him to meet at her house. His memory had been foggy on the exact location, so he was following directions she had written out for him. After all, when the first incarnation of their team cell number seven was formed, they had been obligated to exchange emergency contact information. He had been by her house a few times, all mission related, but that had been years ago. After all, the entire village was destroyed over a year ago and had to be rebuilt. She could have moved.

When he reached the cozy and unassuming house in a rather busy and neighborly district, he realized it was relatively the same house from his memory.

He knocked with two sharp jabs of his knuckles.

If she still lived here, then her parents must be here too, correct? He remembers the two of them as well as he did the house. A talkative blonde woman for a mother and a man with notoriously shaped red hair who wouldn’t stop glaring at him as if he had done something wrong for a father.

Neither of them opened the door. It was Sakura, and her bright smile lit up the dim street.

“Hi, Sasuke-kun,” she gestured inside. “Come in, come in.” She gestured him to follow her, so he did. He gave himself those few moments to observe as much as he could. The house seemed smaller than it did so many years ago, but there was still the small affectionate orange glow from the hall lamps. It was neither prestigious nor a shack; it was homely.

Sakura looked more dressed up than usual in a loose cheongsam that was similar in design to what she used to wear in their old genin days, but an apron was draped over her front. The smell of food wafted through the house, and hunger surged through Sasuke.

“I’m almost done. Just a few more final touches,” she led him into the kitchen where he could see she had the table set. She had told him that the plan was a private dinner at Sakura’s house that will be concluded by an evening stroll. While Sasuke had reservations about eating someone else’s cooking, he did admit to himself that it sounded nice.

Sakura ripped the apron off and set it aside as she tinkered with drinks and last minute preparations. She gestured him to his seat.

“Is there anything I should be doing?” he asked as he sat down.

“No, just sit. I’ve got it,” and before long, she had finished and sat down as well. Sasuke stared down at the food, and was surprised.

“This looks good,” he said as he prodded his grilled tuna on top of soba noodles with a fork. The tuna was glazed and browned on the outside, but cutting into it he saw it had a rich pink middle. Diced tomatoes and green beans accessorized the meat and noodles. He almost felt bad for eating it; the meal looked like it came straight from a cooking show.

“You seem surprised,” she giggled.

“I am,” he took a bite, and the tuna electrified his taste buds. It was as savory as it looked. “I remember the one and only time we let you cook lunch during an away mission,” he chewed slowly. They were twelve, and a determined Sakura wanted to show off her abilities of cooking in, what he guessed, was an attempt to impress him. What ended up happening was a beyond charred mess that not even Naruto was willing to eat in sake of preserving Sakura’s feelings. “This is much better,” he assured as he took another bite.

Sakura was slightly pink in the face and no doubt remembered the disastrous attempt as well. “I’m no good without a recipe,” she admitted. “I still have trouble sometimes anyway, but that’s what practice is for,” her embarrassment dissipated in exchange for a grin. “I’m glad that you took a chance on me again, though.”

He responded with a grunt.

“I’m glad that you took a chance on this, too.”

She didn’t have to specify that by this she meant their date. Sasuke wanted to say something more, but all he could do was shrug in response. Conversation drives a date, right? Luckily, Sakura seemed at ease in leading their conversation. She asked him about his day, how he’s adjusting to Konoha, is he prepared for his trip, and so on. Sasuke would direct the question back at her in most cases to keep a flow.

The flow of conversation made it easy for Sasuke to think. There were no existential questions and Sakura wasn’t holding a knife to his throat asking about his motives. He could relax, but something gnawed at the back of his mind. While this was going smoothly, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing.

When they had finished eating and stepped out of the house for a walk, the light breeze of a hot summer’s night washed over them. Out of all the places he had traveled, he had to admit he loved the weather in the Land of Fire the most. He was not looking forward to the colder climate of the Land of Iron at all.

“It’s really warm tonight. I hope the wind picks up.”

“Yeah.”

He let her lead again as she wove an amble pace around the district. The night crowd was off in the more urban and bar friendly part of town, so the two enjoyed sparse company. Their conversation trickled off as Sasuke fell into a contemplative mood.

Was he more sure of how he felt about Sakura now? He honestly didn’t feel like he had solved anything. He had dinner with her, but it felt just like that: dinner, and nothing more.

Sasuke looked up to the moon unable to come up with any answers. His mind was a tangled ball of yarn and pulling at the loose strings wasn’t helping. If he could see a few steps ahead, he could unravel his own feelings and finally start to move forward.

He thought back to Sakura’s words earlier, and what he could grasp about dating and relationships from her speech. He knows Sakura, although not as well as he used to.They had been estranged for years, but Sakura’s core personality stayed in tact. He liked her core personality enough to be able to talk to her, but did he like it enough to be with her in the way she wanted?

Sakura’s words were soft against his ears as he recalled the tearful confessions she made to Sasuke before he admitted his own confusion. She wanted to kiss him... Be with him... Hold his hand....

Maybe he should start there.

He gave a sideways glance at her as she recalled an anecdote about her hospital work. Her eyes were wide as she looked up to the sky as if it would remind her of all the details she needed. The moon and lantern light weren’t the brightest, but the orange hued light gave her a warm glow to match her wild excitement. Her hands were gesturing in front of her as she talked, and soon she finished up the story with a roll of the eyes as if it was silly.

“That’s what I get for trying to cover for someone else, I guess.”

Sasuke made a sound of agreement as his eyes trickled down to her hand. It wouldn’t be a good idea to kiss her, he reasoned. He tried to find another reason beside the fact that he felt nervous over such an overt gesture of affection, but thinking about it made his face feel like it’s on fire. Holding hands, however, was something he’s done before. He remembers the feel of having another person’s hand curled around his like armor.

Sakura’s hand drifted back down to her side, and Sasuke wondered if he should ask first or not. Despite being more confident in this than a kiss, Sasuke felt his face grow just as hot.

“Hm, something wrong?”

“No,” Sasuke said quickly. His face might as well have become one of his signature fire release techniques at this point. Sakura raised an eyebrow.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” he mumbled. Instead of fretting, he decided to take the plunge. He grabbed her hand. Her skin was much softer than he expected from a taijutsu user. He also didn’t expect her to jerk away from him with a screech. Sakura clasped her hands together at her chest, and her shocked expression quickly melted into fury and... Was she taking a defensive stance?

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

“I was trying to hold your hand, jeeze,” Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets. Even if the night sky promised an expansive land as far as the eye can see, Sasuke felt like he was in a cramped boiler room that’s ready to overheat and explode.

“Oh,” came her squeak, and Sasuke chanced a glance at her to see that she was longer rigid and angry. She patted her own surprised pink face. “I, uh. Sorry. You moved so fast and it was unexpected...”

“It’s fine. Whatever.”

“You can try again,” she offered the same hand she had jerked away from him. Sasuke eyed the hand with suspicion. “I promise I won’t pull away this time.”

“Hmpf,” he took a hand out of his pocket and offered it to her. Instead of clasping her hand right away again, he let his fingers brush against hers. He was as slow as dripping honey to grasp her tightly, but he thought the smile she gave him in response was much sweeter than any nectar the world could offer.

After a few moments of silence and connection, Sasuke realized they had traded walking for staring at each other. Sakura’s gaze on him was much softer than he had been used to these past few months. Her eyes were as green as the spring fields she was named for, and he felt them survey every inch of his face and delve deeper into his soul. The weight of the gaze felt heavy over him and he didn’t know if he could handle such an open look of affection and wonder any longer.

“We should keep walking,” he quickly looked away from her gaze, his face still hot, and tugged her along. She let out a giggle, but he didn’t see anything funny about the situation. By the way she gripped his hand, tight and comforting, he suspected it wasn’t anything malicious. She was happy, and he felt that happiness in return. It was infectious.

“Is that a park? Oh, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura pulled out in front, turned towards him, and used both hands to drag them off the path to a children’s playground. Her hands were curled over his-- complete and total cover. He didn’t resist. “Have you ever been here at night?”

“I’ve never been here during the day,” she stopped dragging him and dropped his hands to sit on a swing. The loss of her warmth bothered him. Sakura motioned her head to the swing next to her, and taking the hint, he sat down. The chains holding them in the air clanked under their weight.

“Really? I used to love going to the park as a kid.”

“Still do, apparently.”

She was still smiling at him. Hands grasped high on the chains, she leaned her face to rest on the hand closest to Sasuke. “Well, yeah. I have a lot of good memories here.”

Sasuke grunted in response. His childhood didn’t include park trips even before everything was taken away from him, so he couldn’t reminisce like Sakura, but he could appreciate nostalgia of a happier time. It was one of the few things he had left.

“Tonight was nice,” She sat up in her swing and swayed back and forth. “Not going to lie; I was worried something bad might happen like rogue ninjas or my house catching on fire.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, we’re not lucky people. When does anything we ever plan go smoothly?” she shrugged. He let out a breath of a laugh quick and soft.

“Never,” he said, and almost let out a derisive snort. His life was nothing but botched plans. Even this date was a result of a plan to simply let others be crumbled. He would sabotage himself and ask questions and learn more about what was going on around him. Forced apathy never did work, did it? He cares too much for it to work.

Looking over at this woman next to him, her face glowing and smiling, he realized he actually did want to know more about her.

“It’s getting late,” he said.

“I guess it is,” Sakura didn’t look happy to get up, but she brightened again when he was already in front of her and offered his hand to help. When she was off the swing, he didn’t let go. Instead, he offered to walk her home. The walk was short, and soon they found themselves hand in hand in front of her house.

“I hope you have a safe trip. Don’t stay too long, okay?”

“I’ll be back,” was all he could offer. She smiled, downcast compared to before, and turned to go inside. Her fingers slipped through his, and the door was open. “And I’ll make sure to set up another date first thing when I get back,” he called out. She turned around halfway through the threshold with her eyes wide.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Tonight was nice,” he repeated her words.

Her smile was back to being as bright as a firecracker, and he felt the phantom warmth and touch of her hand against his.

“Good. I’m glad. I’ll see you then?”

Sasuke nodded.

Sakura went inside and closed the door behind her. Sasuke made his way back home. He wasn’t sure what the future held for him, but he was going to hold onto what he knew. He knew she likes him, and he knew that he’s curious about her. That he thinks about her. Spending time with her tonight was pleasant, and her presence was a warm as the summer’s night and as soothing as days from his past before everything went wrong.

He was still new to this experience, but if time will be a friend and he can plan himself accordingly, maybe this time around it will all work out in the end.

Notes:

I had a lot of goals and thoughts that went into this, but I’m not going to bore you with the details. I will say thank you for reading this all the way through. This is still rather rough because I was even slower at writing this than I originally predicted, so I only had a day to edit which did not give me enough time for a full run through. Even though it can still use a clean up job, I hope you enjoyed this.