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“I’ve been wanting to come here for a while!” Morph said, taking in their surroundings.
“I know you have,” Logan replied, the hint of a smile on his face, “Beast mentioned it. He said, ‘Saxon’s is a must for Kevin.’ I guess you two had been talking about it.”
“Oh yes, he’d already been, and hearing him describe the place made me want to try it. He said the food critics are calling the food here ‘a gift of God’.”
Logan set his water down after taking a sip, “‘A gift of God’? They’re always trying to sensationali—” Logan was interrupted by the kitchen door swinging open and hitting his chair. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, “I just wish they hadn’t given us a table next to the kitchen. I might lose—”
“Please don’t.” Morph reached a hand over, holding Logan’s, “I know getting a table here couldn’t have been easy, and I’m happy just to be here with you.”
Logan took another deep breath, calming himself as best he could.
“Hi, my name is Michael, and I will be your server tonight.”
Morph and Logan looked up to see a very tall, muscular man wearing black slacks and a white button-up shirt that was too tight, holding a pen and notepad with a white cloth draped over his forearm.
“Whoa, I knew Saxon’s was mutant-friendly, but I didn’t know they hired mutants.”
Logan put his thumb and index fingers on the bridge of his nose, slowly pushing in towards his eyes, “Morph.”
Michael gave a nervous laugh, “I know, I’m big. And yes, I can reach the top shelf.”
“Of course you can, why wouldn’t you be able to reach the top shelf? The real question is can you reach the bottom shelf?”
Logan sighed, “Morph, stop it.”
Narrowing their eyes for a closer inspection, Morph asked, “Say, do I know you?”
“You don’t know the waiter, Morph.”
“Michael.”
“I could swear we’ve met before.”
“You don’t know the waiter.”
“My name’s Michael.”
“Have you ever been to a bar in New York? People called it the place under 37th.”
Logan let out another sigh, giving up on trying to intervene. Michael responded, “I have not. But I’m sure it’s a fine establishment.”
Morph let out a loud laugh. With people turning to look, Logan put his face into his hands, “Morph, I’m begging you, can we please just tell the waiter what we want?”
“Michael.”
Lifting his head, Logan looked at Michael, “Listen bub, I’m not trying to insult you, I’m not even trying to be rude, but the chances are I ‘aint gonna remember your name, so I’m calling you waiter because that’s what my brain can handle.”
“Logan. Please.”
“Michael.”
“Okay, MY-chael.” Logan said, not breaking eye contact. Morph pretended to read the menu.
“Thank you. Now, what will the two of you be having tonight?”
Without looking away from Michael, Logan rattled off his order, “I want a ribeye steak. I want a nice charred crust on the outside, red on the inside, pink at most. Do you think you can handle that MY-chael?”
“I will inform the chef.”
“Good. And whiskey. I want a glass of whiskey. No, make that a boilermaker.”
“We can certainly do that for you, sir.”
“Logan.”
“Huh?” Michael and Logan said, looking at Morph, who was now imitating Logan’s appearance, puffing up their chest and using a purposely exaggerated Logan voice.
“What are you doing, Morph?”
“That’s an impressive skill.”
“My name Logan. You MY-chael.”
“Not here, Morph.”
“Not here, bub. Not here, Mr. Bub.”
“So are you also ordering something?”
“Mr. Bub-Bles.”
“Uh…”
“Morph, order your food.”
“I want Mr. Bubbles to get me some steak.”
“It’s Michael. What cut can I ge—”
“Crispy on outside. Rare on inside.”
“O…ka…”
“And beer. Mr. Bubbles bring me cheap beer.”
Flustered, Logan raised his voice, “I said stop it, Morph.”
Morph’s Logan imitation quickly disappeared, their pale grey complexion and bald head returning. Looking down at their menu, they quietly added, “Please.”
Michael gave a nod and left the table, heading into the kitchen, the door hitting Logan’s chair as it swung open and closed. Logan clenched his teeth and closed his eyes.
“Sorry. I was trying to lighten your mood.”
“I’m sorry, too, Morph. I want this to be a good time for you, and my temper is getting the better of me.”
“Have you been talking with your therapist about it?”
“Yeah. She wants me to keep a log of things that trigger a reaction in me. We’re supposed to go through the list at my next appointment. The whole thing is stupid, if you ask me.”
Morph twirled their straw in their water, “I guess you can add ‘MY-chael’ to the log.”
Logan let out a soft laugh, “Thanks. I’m definitely putting ‘Michael’ in my lo—” He stopped and stared at Morph’s straw twirling in their water, “When did you get a straw?”
“This?” Morph pulled the straw out of the water, giving it a casual look over, “I always keep straws on me.” Morph lifted their other hand, multiple straws extruding from their palm.
Logan laughed again, “Listen, I’m not one for speeches or talks.”
“Or words.” Morph added.
Smiling, Logan continued, “Or words. But I have something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a bit now, and, well, this fancy place seems a good time to bring it up. What the hell are they doing here?”
Morph raised a brow, “That’s what you wanted to say? ‘What the hell are they doing here?’’’
Noticing Logan’s gaze was no longer on them, Morph followed his eyes. Across the room were Cable and Domino, both wearing formal attire. Cable wore a well-tailored black suit while Domino had on an elegant black dress with crystals embedded, sparkling in the light.
“Wowza! They are killing it in those outfits.” Morph looked back at Logan, briefly taking in the white button-up shirt with several top buttons left unbuttoned, then down at their own attire, “Makes me feel underdressed in my white button-up shirt and tie.”
“Cable doesn’t like places like this. What’s his angle?”
“I’m sure Domino convinced him to try and relax.” Morph put their hand to their chin, rubbing slowly, “Maybe I should ‘change’ my outfit. But then you might feel out of place.”
“And now they’re being seated—” Logan gritted his teeth as the kitchen door hit his chair, “at a better table than us.”
“Logan, please.” Morph again put his hand on Logan’s, “Don’t ruin this. Being part of the X-Men means we rarely get to do anything for ourselves, let alone dine at a nice restaurant.”
Logan took another deep breath, unclenching his teeth and relaxing into a calmer demeanor, “They say the food here is a gift of God.”
Morph gave a weak but genuine smile.
“What the hell are they doing here?” Cable said as he sipped his water. He looked to Domino, lowering his voice to a whisper, “Are the X-Men performing an op here?”
“I don’t know, Cable.” Picking up the menu, Domino added, “It wouldn’t matter if they were. Assuming their info is the same as ours, they could be an asset.”
“Or they could get in the way. You know as well as I do, Dom, that Charles Xavier’s methods tend to fall short of what’s needed.” Picking up his own menu, Cable continued, “I admire that he has his principles and sticks to them, but they won’t mean much if the result is mutant enslavement or extermination.”
Domino sighed, “Your scruples with Charles notwithstanding, we’re on a mission. We get to decide what we do and when. Perhaps we should stay focused on what we’re here to do.”
A waiter came, briefly interrupted the conversation to take Cable’s and Domino’s orders, and then left to convey them to the kitchen.
“Okay, so assuming the X-Men are here with the same goal as us, why would they send Wolverine? He’s too hot-headed for a stakeout job.”
“Cable, focus please.”
“You’re right. Okay, we’re in Saxon’s. I haven’t gotten any signals yet. Remember, I’ll be here for backup or a distraction, should you need it.”
“I won’t need it.”
“Dom, work with me.”
“Fine, but we both know I won’t need it.”
Cable rubbed his face.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got this. I’m lucky.”
A buzz went off under Cable’s sleeve. Pulling it back, Cable looked at his smart watch, “Boom Boom is in place out back.” Another buzz, “And Forge has accessed the security system. He’s got the cameras, and more importantly, we now have audio.”
“Got it. Perhaps I'll powder my nose.” Giving a sly smile, Domino stood, pressing against her ear with a finger, and left the table.
Cable pressed his finger against his ear and lifted a cocktail menu, obscuring his mouth, “Forge, what kept you?”
“Sorry, Cable. Overcoming their transmission blockers was more involved than I thought, but I got there.”
“Heads up, we’ve got X-Men in the building. See if you can find out what they’re up to. I’ve clocked Wolverine and Morph, no one else so far.”
“Wolverine? If they’re on a mission to gather intel…”
“That’s what I said.”
“Could you boys keep the chatter down? I’m trying to work here.”
“Sorry, Dom.” The men said in unison.
“Hey, don’t forget about me.”
“Nobody forgot about you, Boom Boom. Just keep your eyes on the back and let us know if anyone comes or goes.”
“I still think I’m the redundant part of this plan.”
“Boom Boom. Not—”
“Forge could easily track people coming and going through the security cameras.”
“Boom Boom, we went ove—”
“Ahem.”
“Sorry, Dom.” All three said in unison before going radio silent.
Look at you, getting out and taking in some culture. Attaboy.
“I get plenty of culture.”
That’s a laugh.
“You don’t have to be hurtful.”
“Excuse me, sir?” Michael asked as he walked up to the table.
Wade put the menu down, noticing Michael’s repeated subtle but expected reaction to the horror that was Wade’s face and skin. “Well, hello waiter, long time no see! Are you back to chit chat?”
Michael cleared his throat, “As I said when we first met, my name is Michael. And I’ve returned to see if you’re ready to order.”
What a tool.
You should kill this guy.
“I’m not gonna kill him.”
Michael’s eyes widened, “Excuse me?”
This guy is a total boner.
I agree with that. He’s a boner. Kill him.
Yeah, kill him.
“Please, if anything, I would take a page out of @apileofnerdshit’s fic and put him through immense physical and psychological torture. There are studies showing that bullying can mold the loser into a winner.”
Studies that you did.
Yeah, nothing official.
“Are you threatening me?”
“No, I am not threatening, I’m merely stating what I would do, should I be so inclined. And my studies are official, thank you.”
“If you’re not ready to order, perhaps you’re waiting for someone?”
He thinks you’re waiting for someone.
“Damn, this guy is a boner. No, I am not ‘waiting for someone,’” Wade said in a mocking tone, “I’m still looking at the menu. In the meantime, perhaps you could get me a Vasectomy.”
Michael blushed, “Sir, you needn’t be vulgar with me.”
“Cool your tits, big nips, I’m talking about the cocktail. A Vasectomy cocktail.”
“I don’t know…we don’t…a Vasectomy cocktail?” Michael asked.
“Come on, even the reader knows if you can’t use your noodle, use your Google.”
“I’ll see what we can do.” Michael walked away, almost jogging.
I think he likes you.
I think he hates you.
“¿Por qué no los dos?”
Have either of you noticed that Domino left her table?
Oh shit! When?
How would I know? I was dealing with that boner of a waiter.
“It’s alright, guys, we’ve still got eyes on Cable, and just a few crowded tables away, we’ve still got eyes on Morph and Wolverine. They’re so adorable.” Wade leaned his chin on his hands as his eyes turned into hearts.
You talk like we’re on a stakeout.
Yeah, we just happened to be here when they showed up.
“I know, I know. We got a gift card for Saxon’s, and now we’re here. But this is better than television.”
Got a gift card?
You killed a guy who happened to have a Saxon’s gift card on him.
“Tomato potato.”
I’m trying to sigh, right now.
You don’t even know that anything's happening.
Yeah, maybe they ‘got’ gift cards, too.
“Yeah, but my spidey-senses are tingling, and this time I don’t mean my penis.”
Ugh, can we move to another scene?
Janos hummed while he cooked. The steaks were seasoned and thrown on the grill, the asparagus joining them. Dancing from one station to another, Janos grabbed the plates and items needed to dish up the food. Setting the plates down, he spun around doing a dance step.
“You’re forgetting some seasoning, Janos.”
Janos stopped dancing and, lowering his head, grabbed the missing seasoning and sprinkled the steaks and asparagus. “Sorry, chef.”
“See that it doesn’t happen again.” The chef smiled and went to another cook’s station to oversee their work.
Once the food was done, Janos arranged it neatly on the plates, setting them with the other orders waiting to be taken to their respective tables.
Michael set the plates of steak, asparagus, and mashed potatoes with minced garlic in front of Logan and Morph.
“Oooo, this looks really good.”
“Let me know if you require anything else.”
Logan cut off a piece of his steak and put it in his mouth, “Dahm,” chew chew, “thish ish,” chew chew, “a relly gud shteak.”
Morph chuckled, “You shouldn’t speak with your mouth full, but you’re adorable when you do.”
Taking their first bite, they chewed, stopping occasionally to take in the flavors of the meat and seasonings, “Chefth’s kish.” Morph put their hand to their lips, fingers closed in a pinching motion, then made a dramatic kissing sound as they removed their hand, opening their fingers.
“You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full,” Logan said with a half-smile.
The two continued eating their food and imbibing their drinks, Logan focusing on the steak and Morph eating a bit of everything in rotation.
“So. You’ve been wanting to tell me something.”
Logan wiped his mouth with his napkin and set it back in his lap, “Yeah. Like I was saying, I’m not one for talking, but this is something I’ve been thinking about for some time now. I don’t kno—”
“And how have our first bites been? Is everything to your liking?”
“Yes, bub…er, Michael.”
“So you can remember my name. How wonderful.” Michael said, refilling Morph and Logan’s water.
“I swear we’ve met before.”
“Morph, please, I’m trying to tell you something.”
“I think you’d remember if you’d met me, as I’m sure I’d remember if I’d met you. Assuming you weren’t using your ‘skills’ at the time.”
“Have you ever been emotionally damaged?”
“Morph, stop it.”
“Excuse me?” Michael walked away muttering to himself, “Why do I get the crazy ones? This one is asking about my mental health, that other guy with the scarred up face is talking to himself and casually threatening to kill me…”
Logan’s ears perked up at the mention of ‘guy with scarred up face talking to himself’, “Deadpool is here? First Cable and Domino, now Deadpool? That’s a lot of dangerous people coincidentally at the same restaurant at the same time.”
“Logan, I’m sure it is a coincidence. Saxon’s is a happenin’ place. Where is Wade? I would love to catch up.”
“He’s dangerous, Morph. I don’t think you should be hanging out with him.”
“First, we’ve been over this. Second, I am not hanging out with him, I want to catch up with him.”
Logan glanced over at Cable and Domino’s table, “Domino has been gone an awful long time. I don’t like this.”
“Please just let this night be about us being here together. I won’t search for Wade or ask the waiter how I know him. Just don’t start that brain of yours overthinking and overanalyzing.”
“Morph, something isn’t right.”
Something isn’t right, Cable thought as he checked his watch.
“Dom, what’s your status?”
There was a moment of silence before Forge’s voice came over the comm, “She’s in the ventilation system.”
“Still?”
“Still.”
“Removing and replacing these vent coverings is proving harder than anticipated. For such a fancy…,” Domino grunted, then continued, "restaurant, the screws for these covers are rusted in place.”
Several heavy metallic thuds rang in Cable’s ear, “Dom, you’re being too loud.”
“Well, I’ve got to get the vent cover off, don’t I?”
“Just…be careful.”
“She always is, Cable.”
“Stick to your business, Boom Boom.”
“Fine, fine. I suppose you’d like to know that a car pulled up to the back door.”
“Boom Boom! Why didn’t you mention that before?”
“Because it hadn’t happened before.”
Forge added, “She’s right, Cable. The car just pulled up. Four people are getting out. They’re grabbing some boxes from the trunk. I don’t have a clear visual with my camera angle. I’ll try analyzing frame by frame to see if I can tell what’s written on the boxes. Wait, someone is opening the door to let them in.”
“Can you tell who?”
“They’re wearing a big chef’s hat, I can’t see the face.”
“Boom Boom?”
“I can’t see the face, either, but they’re big.”
“Big?”
“About your height, maybe a couple inches shorter. Broad chest. Honestly, they’re built like you.”
Cable mulled this info over before responding, “Is this our Mr. E. Saxon, perhaps?”
The sound of a vent cover hitting the floor prevented Forge and Boom Boom from commenting. Cable winced, “Dom, what the hell is going on?”
“I got the cover off. I’m in the office, heading to the file cabinets.”
“Keep your eyes and ears peeled, everyone.”
Would you look at that, he talks to himself, too!
I don’t think he’s talking to himself.
Of course he is.
“I agree with me, I don’t think he’s talking to himself.”
“Sir?”
Wade took his eyes off of Cable to look up at Michael, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll have the spaghetti.”
“Are you read…oh, you ordered. Yes, I will put that in right away.”
Brraaaaiiiinnns!
Creepy crawly woooorrrrmmms!
“I must be the luckiest person in the world to have two voices in my head that like playing with food as much as I do.”
Wade watched as Michael entered the kitchen, the door hitting Logan’s chair, and Logan grumbling something.
I can see why you like antagonizing him.
“He’s such an easy target.”
You should kill him.
“I can’t.”
Don’t be a coward.
“I’m not a coward.”
A lady, passing by, stopped and looked at Wade, confused. Holding her hand up as if to ask, 'Are you talking to me?’
“Move on, lady, I would never be talking to you. Too much of a church vibe. And not the church-on-Sundays-freak-on-Mondays kind of church vibe, the I-can-save-him-and-get-him-to-repent-catfish church vibe. Nice blouse, though.”
The lady scoffed and stormed off.
Dodged a bullet there.
Please, he never had a chance.
“Either of you notice that Morph and Logan haven’t done anything to progress their mission? Or that Domino has been gone a really long time?”
You are really dumb, sometimes.
Sometimes?
We can only notice what you notice.
We’re in your head, remember?
“Oh yeah. And I can only notice what the author has written. Hmmm.” Wade put his finger to his chin, “Hold on a second.”
What are you doing?
He’s doing one of his Deadpool gimmicks.
“Domino is in the manager's office.”
And how do you know this?
Because he re—
“Because I read it. Domino was struggling to get out of the ventilation because the screws were rusted shut, but she finally got it off and is now in the manager’s office.”
Okay, Mr. Smart Guy, why is she in the manager’s office?
“To search Saxon’s files.”
And why would she do that?
“I’m not really sure. That hasn’t been written, yet.”
Domino flicked on her headlamp and fixed it to her headband. She started at ‘S’, assuming there would be files on the mysterious Mr. E. Saxon. She thumbed through until she came to a file titled ‘Saxon, East - Assets’. Pulling the folder, she flipped through the contents, snapping photos of each item and paper. Once finished, she put the folder back and continued sifting through the files. When she was finished with ‘S’, she moved on to ‘E’. Pulling several more files, she snapped photos of all of the contents and returned everything to how she found it.
“Cable, we’ve got enough dirt on our dear Saxon’s owner. Our suspicions have been confirmed.”
“Get back to the table, and we’ll go over the next steps. Damn.”
“What?”
“Wade is here.”
Forge jumped in, “Deadpool? How many people have ops at this place?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t like it. Between the X-Men, our suspicions about Mr. E. Saxon being confirmed, and now Wade showing up, we may have to pivot the plan. Hope for smooth sailing, but expect interference.”
All three responded, “Copy that.”
Wade looked over at Cable, making direct eye contact and waving emphatically. Cable immediately looked away, holding the cocktail menu to cover his entire face.
“Hmm, I’m sure he saw me. But he buried his face in the cocktail menu.”
I hate to break it to you, but…
I love to break it to you.
“Oh, my god. It makes sense. It makes so much sense, I’m mad at myself for not having seen it before.”
It’s alright, buddy, let it all out.
It’s good to cry. I’ll laugh at you, but it’s still good to cry.
“Cable’s an alcoholic.”
What?
Dear god…
“He’s always short with me, he never returns my calls, and now he buries himself in a dream list of alcoholic dalliances. He’s ‘jonesing’ every time I’ve seen him. Is he here as a cry for help?”
Oh for fu—
“And here is your spaghetti, sir.” Michael set the plate in front of Wade. “Is everything okay?”
“I just found out that my friend is an alcoholic.”
“Um, I’m sorry to hear that, sir.”
“Me too. I didn’t expect that Saxon’s cocktail menu would be the big reveal. And he never thought to invite me out drinking.” Wade kept his eyes on Cable, hiding behind the menu.
Michael did not react to Wade’s comment, choosing to leave the table quickly.
Logan grimaced as Michael entered the kitchen, the door hitting his chair. Morph had finished their plate. Wiping their mouth, they said, “Okay, now what is it that you’ve been trying to tell me?”
Logan set his silverware down and took a drink of water. He wiped his mouth and looked at Morph, “Well, it’s like I was saying earlier. I don’t know how to say this, but I’ve been thinking about some things lately. I think it’s safe to say that you’ve had an effect on me, Morph. Hell, I’m wiping my damn mouth at a fancy restaurant. That never happened before you…er…I…we got close.”
Morph reached over with both hands, taking Logan’s in his, “Go on, Volfy.”
“Dammit, Morph. That’s the last time I let you pick the movie.”
“Oh, please, you loved Amadeus."
Logan smiled, “This. Right here. Right now. This. This is what I’m trying to say. This feeling, being here with you. I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about this place, but knowing you wanted to try it out, and now being here with you. I could get used to this kind of feeling.”
“Even if it’s in a ‘fancy restaurant’?”
“As long as it’s with you, I don’t care. Morph, I—”
“Did we save any room for dessert?”
“Dammit, Michael. I’m in the middle of something here.”
“Oh, my apologies, sir. Still glad you remembered my name. I’ll be back with the check.”
Michael left to grab the check, but before Logan could say another word, Morph was postulating again, “I know I’ve met that man before.”
“Morph, I—”
“Somewhere.”
“Morph, please—”
“But where? And When?”
“Kev—”
“Wait a second. Is that…no, it can’t be.”
“Kevin, I love you!”
Morph looked at Logan, their mouth agape. The tables around them stopped eating and chatting, all of their attention now on Logan and Morph. It stayed that way for a moment before the chatter started up again and people continued eating.
Morph’s mouth was still open, and Logan was still holding their hands, “I love you, Morph. That’s what I’ve been trying to say all night.”
“I…uh…wha…” A tear fell down Morph’s cheek as he processed what Logan had said, “I love you too. Oh my god, I love you too!”
Morph got up and went over to Logan. Sitting in his lap, they embraced Logan as they kissed his lips.
“This is hot.”
Morph jumped up off of Logan. Sitting in their seat was Wade with his chin in his hands.
Logan growled, “Deadpool, you have three seconds to get out of that chair.” SNIKT.
“Logan, please, not here. Not tonight.” SNIKT.
“That is a really neat trick you do, Logi Bear.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Call you what?”
“Michael.”
“Who’s Michael?”
“Not now, Morph.”
Morph was tapping Logan’s shoulder, “Michael is motioning for us to come to him.”
“Well, then I guess we should go over to this Michael.”
Wade got up and started walking before Morph or Logan could stop him. Logan growled as he stood up and followed Morph over to the beckoning waiter.
“What is it, bub?”
“Michael.”
“I am not in the mood.”
“He’s never in the mood.”
“Wade.”
“He’s right, he’s never in the mood.”
“Don’t encourage him, Morph.”
“The lady and gentleman at that table have requested your company.” Michael motioned them over to Cable and Domino.
As the three made their way to the table, Wade rambled, “Hey. Why didn’t the waiter come to us? Why did he wave us over to him? He’s not getting a tip from me, I’ll tell you that much.”
You never give anyone a tip.
“Yes, and I certainly won’t start now.”
“What are you on about now, Wade?”
Morph put a hand on Logan’s shoulder as they walked, “It’s better not to ask.”
Reaching the table, they all said their greetings, and each then taking a seat.
Cable wasted no time, “What is your op?”
Morph, Logan, and Wade looked back and forth between each other. Logan responded, “Our op?”
“I got a gift card. Won it, actually. On the radio.”
Cable looked back at Logan, “Cut the crap. What are the X-Men and a known mercenary doing at Saxon’s?”
“Well, we were enjoy—”
Logan cut Morph off, “We could ask the same thing of you. And while we’re at it,” he turned his gaze over to Domino, “you might not want to throw around that word, ‘mercenary’. Lest you cast stones from a glass house.”
“A glass house would be fun!”
Cable rubbed his face, “This isn’t the time, Wade.”
“It would be, at first, but then everyone would be looking at you no matter what you did. Like if you’re on the toilet.”
“Morph, don’t encourage him.”
“Well, that depends, my shifty little friend, is the toilet glass as well? I need to know! For science.”
Domino snickered, “Boys are all the same.”
Morph cleared their throat, irritated.
“My apologies, Morph. I meant no disrespect.”
“What are you three doing here?”
“And I’ll repeat my earlier statement: the same could be asked of you.”
“We got a tip that Saxon’s might be a front for a villain from our pasts.”
“Stop with the time travel talk, Cable. I’m outta all my patience for the evening.”
“He’s not talking about time travel, Wolverine.” Domino pulled out her phone, opened the photos, and set it in front of Logan.
“What is this?”
“I would think that was obvious. It’s a phugh—”
Logan removed his elbow from Wade’s gut, “Shut yer yap.” Picking up the phone, he began analyzing and flipping through the photos while Wade and Morph stood behind and looked over his shoulder.
“Wait.” Morph wiped the forming sweat from their brow, “So this place, it’s—”
“I know this game. Five syllablugh—”
As Logan removed his elbow from Wade’s gut, again, he looked at Morph, “You gonna be okay?”
“I think s…I think so.” Morph sat back down.
Cable eyed Morph, “So you three really weren’t here on some sort of op.”
“And they said you were too dumb to comprehend the basics.”
“Shut up, Wade.” All four said at once.
Wade pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, “I’ve taught them so well. They’re ready.”
Ignoring Wade, Morph interrupted, “That’s where I know Michael from.”
Logan caught Morph’s eyes, “You know Michael through…”
“Mister Sinister. I’m sure of it.”
Wade smacked his hands on his cheeks, “Michael is Mister Sinister?”
Domino gave Wade a backhanded slap on the shoulder, “No, you idiot. Michael is Michael Baer.”
Hearing the name, Wade understood, “Ooohhh. Blockbuster. Why didn’t he just say his name was Blockbuster? Is it because the company shut down? That can’t be his fault. Video rentals were on a downward trugh—”
Logan looked at Cable, “If Sinister has one Marauder here, he’s most likely got others.”
“That leads me to another question: how did you not smell it was him?”
Logan’s face flushed, “Well, I had other things on my mind.” He put a hand on Morph’s leg and continued, “None of the other wait staff I’ve seen appeared to be Marauders.”
As the others talked, Wade left his seat and headed back to his original table.
“My guess is the rest of the Marauders are in the kitchen, or back rooms,” Cable turned his head towards Domino, “Did you see any others while you were sneaking around?”
“I didn’t see anyone, funny enough.”
“Forge, you see anything?”
Logan and Morph looked at each other, Logan pointing to an ear and Morph nodding his understanding.
“Copy that. Forge says he’s seen people who could be members of the Marauders, but he can’t say for certain. It seems the security cameras are set up to capture activity without giving a clear view of faces. Hold on.”
Cable held a hand to his ear while he listened, “He says on top of that, they're all wearing chef’s hats that obscure their identities on the cameras.”
“They’re all wearing chef’s hats?” Logan asked, “How many?”
Cable relayed Logan’s questions and listened to the response, “Copy that. Forge can’t tell an exact number, but he thinks there’s been upwards of seven people, not including the wait staff, all wearing chef’s hats. Some have come and gone, having dropped off boxes. Forge has been trying to analyze the boxes to see if he can get a read on the text or logo.”
“I don’t like this. I say we bust into the kitchen and confront them, right now.”
“I agree!” Wade said as he sat down in his seat wearing his full Deadpool attire.
“What the hell are you doing, Deadpool?” Cable growled.
“What? Oh this? It’s my super-suit.”
“People are staring, Cable, he’s got katanas and guns all over him.” Domino shrank down as far as she could in her seat.
“Where was it?” Morph asked as they eyed Deadpool’s arsenal.
“In my backpack, under my table.”
Cable’s face was buried in his hands.
“What’s it gonna be, Cable? Seems Deadpool likes my idea.”
“Fine. We’ll do it your way.”
Cable pulled a small, slim box out of his breast pocket. Domino dug two out of her purse. Both pressed the sides of the boxes, a beep sounded, and each box quickly unfolded into advanced weaponry. Cable stood and lifted his rifle off the table. Domino unzipped and removed her dress, revealing a form-fitting tank top and spanks, then grabbed her favored pistols.
Cable looked at Domino, “I told you they’d get in the way.”
Domino gave a sardonic nod, “Yeah, you were right. Gold star. Remind me to give you a sticker when we’re done.”
People were staring at the five of them, three of whom were brandishing firearms, and another with blades.
“I bring machine guns and swords, and everyone loses their mind. They bring laser guns, and no one cares.”
What are you talking about?
Yeah, everyone is looking at their guns, too.
“Forge. Boom Boom. We’re taking kinetic action. Boom Boom, I want you to enter the back and rendezvous with us in the kitchen.”
“Finally. Sorry, copy that.”
“Forge, you’re our eyes. Alert us if you see anything on the cameras.”
“Copy that. There are three in the kitchen, currently. Another two are in the halls near the back door. That’s all I have eyes on.”
“Are any of them our ‘big guy’ from earlier?”
“Some are big, but I don’t believe they’re our man from earlier. Heads up, Cable. Blockbuster is approaching.”
As Blockbuster approached the five, people were starting to clear out from their tables and rushing for the exit. Cable raised his rifle, taking aim at the oncoming giant.
“Stay right there, Blockbuster.”
Blockbuster ignored the command, “You just couldn’t leave a good thing be, could you?”
Logan growled, “We seem to have different ideas of a ‘good thing’.”
Wade stepped in front of Cable, his back to Blockbuster, “Let me handle the big guy. I’ve got some research to do on this boner.”
Cable and Logan looked at each other. Shrugging, Cable looked back to Wade, “By all means.”
As Wade readied to engage with Blockbuster, the rest headed for the kitchen.
“You’ve now got two in the kitchen, Cable. Boom Boom, one left the kitchen and is headed your way.”
Boom Boom and Cable responded, “Copy that.”
“Forge says we’ve got two in the kitchen, one moving to the back door.”
“It looks like they’ll be the lucky one.”
“You’re sexy when you’re about to fight someone,” Morph said while checking out Logan.
Domino added, “Could we focus on the task at hand?”
Cable kicked the kitchen door open and placed himself just inside the door frame to prevent it from swinging shut. Morph, Logan, and Domino quickly entered after Cable.
Inside, two chefs were standing by their stations.
“We’ve got a chef with green hair and a chef with purple hair. That makes you—”
Morph interrupted Logan, “I love this game.” Morph pointed at the green-haired chef, “That makes you Vertigo, and you must be Riptide.”
Janos, codename Riptide, smiled at the intruders, “Was the food not to your liking?”
Wade crashed into a table, pieces of the table exploding around him. Standing to his feet, Wade felt several cracks in his back and neck. His weapons had been scattered throughout the room as Blockbuster threw him into table after table.
“Damn, Blockbuster. You’re gonna cost this place a fortune in repairs.”
“Laugh it up, Deadpool. There isn’t enough money in the world to pay for the repairs you’re gonna need.”
Doesn’t he know repairs are free?
I doubt it.
“He doesn’t know. He’s a boner.”
“Stop saying that!” Blockbuster charged forward, tackling Wade through more tables and chairs and into a wall. Blockbuster stood, leaving Wade in the sheetrock.
“Where’s your mouth, now, Deadpool?”
“On…my…face…stupid…” Wade freed himself from the wall, “You’ve had it too good for too long. It’s time I show you the power of bullying.”
Wade somersaulted past Blockbuster, then dove for his machine guns. Rolling on the ground as he grabbed them, he aimed and unloaded both towards Blockbuster. Blockbuster dodged to the side, throwing up tables to shield against the rain of gunfire.
Click click click click. Wade dropped the clips from the guns and reloaded, finding a table of his own for cover.
“Did you ever have a dream, Blockbuster?”
A chair hit the table, debris showering around Wade.
“I have a dream for you. Well, two, actually. One…”
Are you trying to MLK this guy?
Another shower of debris.
Maybe he doesn’t like dreams.
“...that you would realise your full potential. You don’t have to be boner.”
He was born a boner.
And a loser.
More debris.
“And two, that your coffin gives you all the room that your shirt isn’t.”
Seriously, the shirt’s too tight.
Even one size larger would be fine.
Blockbuster growled, throwing another chair, “I’m gonna rip you apart, Deadpool.”
Wade stood and took aim, the chair hitting him in the face. As he struggled to regain his senses, cuckoo birds danced around his head.
They’re so cute!
As cute as the birds are, you should probably get up.
“Whoa…can we…keep them?”
Wade stumbled to his feet, brushing himself off. As he turned to face his opponent, Blockbuster grabbed him by the throat and threw him a few feet into more tables. Lying in the debris, Wade was having a hard time counting the numerous birds flying around his head.
There’s more!
Have you ever noticed that you get hit a lot?
“I’ve got this…under control…I swear I saw…my…katana as I…was flying…through the air…”
Blockbuster stood over Wade, swatting away the prone Deadpool’s birds as they flew over to him.
What’s he doing? That’s not how you treat cute, adorable birds.
I really don’t think he cares. What are you doing?
“...There it is…I can almost…reach it…”
You're gonna have to move faster than that; you’re running out of birds.
Wade grabbed some debris and hit himself in the head several times, producing more and more birds.
You know we all suffer when you do stuff like that.
Look at the birdies!
“Yeah…I needed more…birds…”
With a grunt, Wade reached for his katana. Taking it in his hand, he sat up and thrust, the blade piercing through Blockbuster’s abdomen, blood spilling onto the blade and Wade’s arm. Blockbuster fell backwards, landing with a heavy thud. The birds returned to circling Wade’s head, making it impossible for him to see.
Wade rested his head back, relaxed his body, and closed his eyes, “If I…can’t see…I…might as well…get a nap…in…”
“Cut the crap, Riptide. Where’s the man in charge?”
“Oh, Cable, Cable, that’s no way to ask for the manager. I’m sure Mr. Saxon will be happy to hear any suggestions or complaints that you may have.”
“I say we gut both of them, right now,” Logan growled.
Morph and Domino stood ready. Domino took aim at Vertigo, Morph changing into Colossus’s metallic form.
Vertigo took a step towards them, “There’s no need for guns or violent talk. Can’t we talk this through like reasonable adults?”
Domino fired a warning shot, stopping Vertigo’s movement, “I guess we’ll be children about it, then.”
Heavy, muffled blasts sounded through the back wall of the kitchen, causing the door to rattle in the frame.
Janos turned his head a little bit towards the exit, “It would seem that your friend, Boom Boom, has arrived.”
Vertigo snickered, “Then we’ll have to make this quick.”
Cable, Domino, Logan, and Morph each covered their ears as Vertigo unleashed swirling mental waves of psionic distortion on them. Morph lost their Colossus form, Cable and Domino dropped their guns, and Logan’s claws retracted.
“Cable, what’s happening? I’ve lost visual, I repeat, I’ve lost visual.”
“aa…sto…Ver…argh…h…”
Forge understood enough of Cable’s static jargon, quickly getting to work. With the security camera feed being cut off and audio communications reduced to static and syllables, Forge opened a cabinet at the back of the van, pulling out a large, shotgun-microphone-shaped object. He typed some code into his computer, then began the process of pairing a tablet with the device.
Domino was now on her knees, the pain blinding her. Wolverine tried fighting through the pain, stumbling forward. With their world spinning, Morph doubled over and vomited. Cable braced himself against a counter, grabbing at his ear as he used his own psionic powers to shield himself enough to speak.
“Forge…emergency…Vertigo…is…using…her…psionic…powers…”
Riptide began spinning rapidly, sucking in nearby objects and slinging them at the intruders. A boiling pot flew across the room, hitting Logan. Scalding water exploded onto both Logan and Cable, each crying out in pain. A boning knife struck Domino, piercing through her forearm. She grabbed her arm while falling on her side.
Morph, with nothing left in them, spat the taste of vomit from their mouth and squinted their eyes, trying to see through the pain. Feeling around, they found the pot that had hit Logan. After fumbling with the hot object, they found the handle and flung it where they thought Vertigo was. A muffled thud allowed Morph to assess that they had hit one of the two villains. The flying debris stopped, confirming they’d hit Riptide.
Forge had everything linked up and was typing code furiously into his computer. His attempts to hone in on a cognitively enhanced mutant’s exact psionic distortion wave lengths was always difficult, but he had done it before, he just needed time to troubleshoot it. Beeps rang out from the computer. Forge grabbed the tablet and synced the wavelength code from the computer. The device began to whir, getting louder until it released a pulse of energy.
I hope that worked. “Cable, do you read me? Are you okay?”
The pain in Domino’s head stopped abruptly, and she heard Vertigo stumbling. Realizing she had fallen on her pistols, she grabbed one with her uninjured arm, jumped to her feet, and fired several blasts into Vertigo, who crumpled to the ground.
Riptide had regained his composure and started rotating his body again. Logan lept over the center cooking stations, landing his claws in Riptide’s chest and tackling him to the ground.
“Prick.”
Cable put some quick field-dressing on his burns, “Forge, whatever you did, it worked. Vertigo and Riptide are dead. Do you have visual again?”
“I have visual, but I don’t see Sinister, or anyone with the same build. There are three men collapsed in the back hallway, but I don’t see Boom Boom.”
“Deadpool? Blockbuster?”
The kitchen door kicked open and swung shut, continuing until the door ran out of momentum. When it was open, the four caught glimpses of Wade standing on the other side.
“I thought that would be cooler. Didn’t account for a swinging door.”
Cable helped Domino remove the bone knife from her forearm, “Idiot.”
Domino winced, then smiled, putting pressure on the wound while Cable pulled out field dressings, “But he’s our idiot.”
“Don’t say that, Dom, I don’t ever want Deadpool to be mentioned as—”
Wade sidled up to Cable, putting an arm around him, “Watchya talking about?”
Cable forcefully removed Wade’s arm, “How much we like you.”
“Oooohhhh, this is my favorite topic!” Wade removed pieces of debris stuck in Cable's suit jacket one at a time, “He loves me, he loves me not.”
“It’s definitely not.”
Logan was checking on Morph, who was sitting on a stool, “You okay, Kev?”
“Yeah, I hate fighting villains with mental powers.”
“Me too.”
Morph looked over to Wade, “You okay?”
“Of course, why do you ask?”
“You’re covered in blood.”
Wade looked down at his shoulder, brushing it off, “Nah, that’s ketchup.”
“Your arm is covered in blood.”
“Oh, that, yeah, that’s a lot of blood. Blockbuster was a gusher, would you believe it?”
The four shook their heads and didn’t respond.
“Cable, I’ve got someone in the back, outside. They’ve got Boom Boom, and she doesn’t look good.”
“Got it. Alright, people, we’ve got an emergency in the back.”
“And boss, they have the right build.”
“Copy that. Extreme caution, this could be our man.”
The five made their way to the back door of Saxon’s in military fashion. Cable was on point, with Domino covering the party’s rear. Once at the back door, Wade, Cable, and Domino stood back, their guns aimed. Morph stood to one side while Logan kicked the door open and jumped to the side of the frame opposite Morph.
Cable rushed through the opening, followed by Domino and Wade, then Logan and Morph, who was once again in their Colossus form. On the outside, they were greeted by a large, red-eyed man, holding a bloodied Boom Boom in one hand.
“Well, well, here are the problematic customers. I do hope you won’t give Saxon’s a bad review.”
“Already did,” Wade said, finishing typing something in his phone before pocketing it.
“What do you want, Sinister?” Cable kept his rifle aimed at the villain.
“Want?” Sinister cackled, “My dear time-traveling friend, why do you think I want something?”
“Because you’ve taken Boom Boom hostage.”
“Oh, her, yes, I seem to have taken her hostage. But in my defense, she was killing my employees. By rights, I should kill her.”
“You try it, bub, and I paint this alley with your guts.”
“Let her go. You’ve hurt enough people, just let her go.” Morph’s voice trembled slightly.
Sinister looked at Morph and smiled, “Ah, my favorite subject. You wound me with those words.”
“I’m gonna wound you in five seconds if you don’t let her go, Sinister.” Logan’s fists tightened.
Ignoring the threat, Sinister continued, “I don’t hurt people, I help people. I even helped you. Just look at what you can do because of what I gave you.”
“You didn’t give me anything. You enhanced what was already there. I didn’t ask for your ‘help’, the nightmare that you put me through, that I still deal with every day.”
“Every day? I’m so happy that you think of me. That’s the sign of profound impact.” Sinister’s smile widened.
“Screw this crap.” Logan charged at Sinister with his claws reaching ahead of his body.
Morph followed Logan’s lead, rushing at Sinister. Cable and Domino opened fire, Sinister dropping Boom Boom to dodge the shots and oncoming bodies. Sinister spun around to face Cable. Reaching out his hands, he fired concussive blasts. The Cable illusion flickered and disappeared.
“I see you’re using your tricks, Cable. Remember, I, too, have tricks that I can use.” Sinister fired concussive blasts in a spread, targeting Logan, Morph, and Domino.
Having ducked behind a small pallet of boxes, Cable reached over the top, firing shots at Mister Sinister. As he ducked back down, he noticed a name on the boxes, ‘Brand Corporation’.
“Forge, I think I’ve found some of the boxes you couldn’t get a read on. They say ‘Brand Corporation’. They’re involved in a lot of shady business, but what’s the Sinister connection?”
“Looking into it now.”
Logan stood, rubbing his chest where the concussive blast hit him, “I’m getting real tired of this, Sinister. What do ya say we end this, kabob style?”
Sinister was levitating off the ground, moving away from Morph, who had now taken the form of Psylocke, swinging psionic blades.
“Your sense of humor is…unimpressive.”
“I’ve got a joke for ya! What did the blind man do at the orgy?”
This is a good one!
It most definitely is not.
“Felt his way around!”
Sinister responded with a concussive blast to Wade’s chest, sending him flying. Landing on the edge of the dumpster with a loud crack, Wade continued to fall inside with the lid closing on him.
“I loathe that man.”
“What?” Morph shifted from Psyloche into Storm and leapt into the air, taking flight, “I thought you helped people. Not talented enough to help Wade?”
Calling forth thunder and lightning, Morph struck Sinister with the elements. Sinister fell to the ground, but landed on his feet. With smoke rising from where he was struck, he began laughing, “Impressive, Morph. How does Ororo feel about you imitating her? No, it’s more than that.”
Sinister held up a hand, forming a psionic shield that prevented Cable’s and Domino’s hits from landing. Logan, seeing his chance, slowly worked his way behind Sinister as he talked to Morph.
“You become who you want. You gain their powers. That is my gift to you. You don’t need the X-Men. You’re meant for so much more. Come back to me, and I can set you back on course to realizing your full potential.”
“You didn’t give me anything. You manipulated me. Physically and mentally. You broke me down into a shell of a person, stripped what humanity I had, and forced me to do what you wanted me to do. I will never go back to that. You’re a disgrace to science.”
Sinister’s smile became a frown, “Watch your tongue. I’m not a disgrace to science. I am science. Without me, this world is doomed.”
“The world is worse with you.” Logan buried his claws into Mister Sinister’s back.
Sinister’s eyes went wide. Morph sensing his vulnerability, approached while charging a ball of lightning in their hands. As they closed the gap, Sinister’s eyes narrowed to their normal position, a smile again forming on his face.
“You forget yourself, Logan. I am science. I also have regenerative capabilities.”
Logan pulled his claws out of Sinister as Morph threw the ball of lightning. Sinister ducked, the ball continuing into Logan, throwing him to the ground in a haze of smoke.
“Cable. I’ve looked into Brand Corporation, their current divisions, and the projects they’re involved in.”
“And?”
“They filed a contract with a business that was in Saxon’s files, listed under ‘Saxon, East - Assets’. Brand Company has a contract with ‘Essex Corporation’. The contract lists ‘nano-technologies’ as the main focus of collaboration.”
“So Sinister is developing nano-technology with Brand Corporation. That could mean a myriad of things.”
“In a subsequent filing, they specifically name Brand Corp’s ‘robotics control’ division and Essex Corp’s ‘Genetic Technology Implementation’ division.”
“Okay, those two divisions working together doesn’t necessarily mean much. There’s plenty of crossover with DNA extraction needing robotics to automate the system. You’ve gotta keep digging, Forge. Sinister is near unstoppable. We need to know his angle.”
“I’m looking.”
Domino dove behind the pallet next to Cable, setting Boom Boom’s body down in front of them, “She looks bad, Cable, and we’re getting our asses kicked out there.”
“You heard what Forge said. He’s still looking.”
“Well, our guns don’t mean much, so in the meantime, we need to figure out another angle.”
“Damn, I miss my pouches.”
“Cable.”
“Go ahead, Forge.”
“They’ve filed several patents relating to attaching nano-technology to DNA, which are then listed in contracts with government-affiliated entities. The contracts themselves are heavily redacted, but the entities in question are related to different branches of the military.”
“So he’s trying to implement controlling tech at the molecular level?”
“That’s my take, at least.”
Morph crouched over Logan, helping him sit up, “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Mister Sinister approached as Morph helped Logan to his feet. Cable and Domino stood from behind the pallet, guns fixed on Sinister.
“Come now, Cable, I thought Domino told you the guns aren’t working.”
“Stay out of her mind, Sinister.”
Domino fired a shot at Snister’s feet.
“Tsk tsk, Domino. Or should I say, Dom?”
Morph interjected, “Leave her alone, Sinister. You’ve always wanted me back, so why don’t you deal with me?”
The dumpster lid flung open, and Wade stood up, rubbing his neck, “What’d I miss?”
“Come, Mr. Wilson. Your friends have discovered my diabolical plan. But will it do them any good?”
Wade climbed out of the dumpster, joining Logan and Morph, “Will it?”
Cable interrupted, “I’m guessing it’s a ‘no’. He read Dom’s thoughts; he knows exactly what we know.”
“Yes, and I know that your friend, Forge, erected psionic shielding a touch too late. I know what your little mobile lab is capable of, but it won’t matter.”
“Enough with the talking, Sinister.” Logan took a stance with his arms and claws outward from his body.
“I agree. This is beginning to bore me. Perhaps it’s time to see how my special seasoning sits with all of you.”
Sinister snapped his fingers, and Logan, Morph, Domino, and Cable stood at attention, with Wade following suit.
“What is this?” Logan growled, unable to move his body.
“A little something I’ve been working on. It may not grant me control of your minds, but I can already control them, should I want to. What I want is control of bodies on a global scale. Now, let’s field test just what I can do with this technology. I want the five of you to fight each other to the death.”
Cable, Domino, Logan, and Morph spread into a circle, each eying the others. Cable and Domino aimed their guns from one to the other, constantly changing their target. Logan had his claws in front of him, ready to skewer anyone who might come at him. Morph shifted from Storm into Sabertooth.
“Creed? Not Creed,” spittle flew from Logan's mouth as he fumed, “I’ll kill you for this, Sinister.”
“We must do something about that temper of yours, Logan. And remember, you’ll be busy fighting the others.”
“Logan, I’m sorry…I…I can’t shift on my own…”
“I know, Morph. I’m sorry for what’s about to happen.”
“This is such a sweet moment, I just wish I knew what everyone was doing?”
Sinister looked over at Wade, observing him silently.
“I was even here for that boring monologue, and I still have no idea.”
“Enough with your jokes, attack the others.”
“Hmm, I don’t think that’s in my best interests.”
“Why aren’t you complying?”
“I guess you don’t control my body? Are you sure you seasoned my food the same as theirs?”
Sinister’s face betrayed a moment of realization, “Damn that Janos, incompetent swine.”
Mister Sinister fired a concussive blast at Wade, who dodged out of the way.
Hurray, you’re improving.
I’m really proud of you.
With everyone preoccupied, Sinister took the opportunity to sneak away before Wade could reengage with him. The four controlled mutant heroes charged at each other, Cable and Domino raining fire. Logan was hit by several blasts, falling to a knee before getting up again and charging at Cable, slashing with his claws. Cable blocked Logan’s attack with his mechanical arm, sparks spraying at his face.
Morph, in the form of Sabertooth, tackled Domino and began slashing at her with their claws. Domino found enough leverage to knock Morph off and jump to her feet. As Morph stood up, towering over Domino, she unleashed a series of kicks that staggered the Sabertooth form.
“Ugh, guys, why must we fight?”
But we like fighting.
And killing.
“I know, but we were having such a lovely evening up to now, why ruin it?”
Wade reached into a pouch and pulled out a taser. Aiming it at Cable, he pulled the trigger. Cable cried out as the prongs landed in his damaged mechanical arm, electricity flowing through his cybernetic body. Falling to the ground, he passed out. Wade quickly reloaded and fired at Domino. She fell to the ground, convulsing for a moment before passing out.
With Cable and Domino incapacitated, Logan charged at Morph.
“Morph, I…I can’t stop…”
Logan’s claws sank into Morph’s shoulders, and they cried out in pain, tears streaming down their face.
“I know, Logan. I know—aaghh.”
Logan removed his claws and plunged them back into Morph’s chest repeatedly.
“No! Stop it, Sinister! Not like this…not like this…”
Logan had tears running down his cheeks as he watched the person he loved being hurt again and again by his own body. I’m going to kill you, Sinister. First, you break Kevin, and now this. I’m going to find you and kill you.
Logan felt something hit his back, and electricity coursed through his adamantium skeleton. Morph cried out again as the electricity flowed from Logan’s claws into their own body. Logan collapsed on top of Morph, both of them unconscious.
“Now what the hell do we do with all of these bodies?”
It’s traditional to bury them.
Or cremate them.
“I don’t have a shovel, but I’m very good at starting fires.”
“Don’t touch them, Deadpool.”
Forge had entered the alley with a rifle aimed at Wade.
Wade raised both hands in the air, “Whoa, whoa, you don’t have to be rude, Mister Technomancer.”
And here’s the party pooper, always at the lamest times.
We can still start a fire.
“I really want to start a fire.”
“Help me get these bodies to the van. You did great, knocking them out with the taser. Overwhelming their nervous systems seems to have temporarily interrupted the signal between Sinister and the nano-technology.”
Wade moved to help Forge move the bodies to the van. “Well, I am pretty awesome, but I don’t like to brag, so keep going. What else about me do you like?”
“I don’t know how long the interruption will last, but I’ve got a serum that should at least expel the tech from their bodies, leaving Sinister in control of nothing. As far as these four are concerned, at least.”
Forge injected all four with the serum. He and Wade watched as the tech was expelled through their pores, gathering into what looked like dust covering the bodies. Using a special vacuum, Forge cleaned each person.
“What. Is. That?”
Wade’s face was inches away from the vacuum. Forge moved it slightly away, “Don’t touch that.”
“But this is some Ghostbuster tech you’ve got. Can we go ghost hunting?”
“Ugh…what the hell…happened?” Cable sat up, holding his head, “I’ve got a major headache.”
“Sorry about that, Cable. Deadpool had to taser you to interrupt the signal between Sinister and the tech inside your bodies. I’m guessing you’ll have some extra lingering pains because of the techno-organic virus.”
“That makes sens—did you say Deadpool tasered me?”
Wade rushed over and sat next to Cable, “You’re welcome! It was no big deal, ya know. I happened to track that the signal was coming from inside the house, did some mental gymnastics to calculate what voltage I would need to use, etc., etc., I won’t bore you with the details.”
“I don’t care if it is to save my life, if you ever tase me again, I will incapacitate you and break your limbs over and over, just to feel the joy of your bones snapping in my hands, over and over.”
Whoa!
He’s really cool!
“You’re really cool! We’ve gotta compare notes sometime.”
Domino, Logan, and Morph began to stir, giving Cable a welcome interruption in the conversation. Once everyone was back on their feet and updated on ‘Deadpool’s Heroics’, as Wade insisted on calling it, they started assessing their lingering wounds.
“What about Boom Boom?” Cable asked as he looked at her lying on a makeshift bed.
“She’s stable, but she’ll need medical help that we don’t have access to in the van.”
Cable nodded and walked over to Logan and Morph.
“It’s a shame Sinister got away, but I guess I do owe you two a bit of thanks.”
Logan responded, “And an apology.”
“Apology? We weren’t in control of our bodies.”
“For saying we’d get in the way. Seems like we helped.”
Cable looked at Morph, “Yeah, well…my apologies, and again my thanks.”
Walking away from the pair, Cable helped Domino and Forge secure Boom Boom in the van. Waiving goodbye, Domino hopped in the back, closing the doors behind her. The van sped off into the night.
Logan and Morph stood awkwardly, neither making eye contact. Logan reached for Morph’s hands and, taking them in his own, lifted them so they were holding hands between them. Morph winced as Logan did so.
“I’m sorry,” he let go of their hands, “I didn’t mean to…er…I feel bad, Morph. What I did back there. I feel real bad.”
“It wasn’t your fault. None of us could control ourselves.”
“I know, but…I can’t get the look of you in pain out of my head. Pain you got from my own hands.”
“I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have organs. At least not in the same sense.”
Logan let out a quiet laugh, “Yeah, I guess that’s a good thing.”
Morph lifted their hands and arms as high as they could in light of the pain in their shoulders and chest. Awkwardly pulling Logan into themselves, Morph leaned down to kiss Logan. Putting his hands on their cheeks, Logan met Morph’s lips, and the two kissed.
“I still think this is hot.”
“Dammit, Wade, I’m in the middle of something.”
Morph pulled Logan back in and gave him another long kiss.
“So what have we learned today, kids? That good always triumphs over evil? That sometimes you can season food too much? Or maybe we learned about the logistics and dynamics of a 5’10” bundle of joy falling in love with a 5’3” feral animal?”
Stop stalling.
Yeah, tell them what we really learned.
“You guys are harshing my buzz.”
Tell them!
“Okay, okay. What we’ve learned today, kids, is that fire is fun.”
Wade lit a match and tossed it into the bucket of gasoline he had syphoned from Cable’s van. The match ignited the vapors above the liquid, sending a fireball out from the bucket, catching the surroundings on fire. Wade danced with joy as Saxon’s became engulfed in flames. With the building burning behind them, Morph and Logan continued kissing.
And camera crane lifts.
Zoom out to a wide.
Get the actors and the burning building.
Queue sirens.
And go for the sirens.
fin