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"Kirishima-san? Is everything alright?" The words of the old lady behind the counter brought him back to reality, her dark blue eyes staring into his red ones as if they bore all the secrets of the universe.
"Uh? What?" He was feeling a little dizzy, but quickly got back to packing the groceries, hoping she'd let her curiosity die down. Unfortunately, it didn't happen.
"Dear, it's been a couple of weeks already, what's gotten into you?"
He just sighed, carding a hand through his blond, spiky hair. Luckily no one was behind him, the old kombini always silent and empty as a graveyard during the early hours of the day—exactly the reason why Katsuki always chose to shop just right after his morning run.
"It's… It's Eijirou," he told her. "He keeps pushing me away every time I do as much as try to hug him. It's not like we've argued or anything, though… Which arguably makes it worse." Katsuki didn't know why he was actually explaining such private matters to someone he barely knew the name of, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he could physically feel his shoulders relaxing for a fraction of a second.
"Have you tried talking to him, dear?" Her voice was motherly as she turned on her feet to grab a couple of candies, the ones Katsuki always saw her give to her grandchildren the few times he and Eijirou visited during the afternoon.
"Obviously I did, who do you take me for? Fucker just looks at me with those dopey eyes of his and says that everything's okay, but as soon as I try to kiss him, he finds an excuse to flee from me." Katsuki scratched his head again, inhaling and exhaling to calm himself down just as his therapist had taught him to do. "I miss him, fuck. I miss us," he admitted dejectedly after a couple of seconds.
That's when the woman—Hashimoto-san—thrust the sweets into his hands with a wink.
"Why? I'm not a child," Katsuki grumbled, but the only answer he got was the total he had to pay. He let out another guttural sound, but gave her the exact sum she'd asked for, before storming out the kombini, pocketing the candies in the process (he did also pop one in his mouth, but no one had to know that).
Back to running again, with the bags hanging from his bare arms—leaving indents that would surely be visible for quite a few hours—Katsuki took his time to replay the events of the previous two weeks, trying, again, to understand what he might have done wrong to make Eijirou hate everything intimate with him.
Nothing came to his mind. Not when he kept prepping his favorite meals for work; not when he had no problem in driving him everywhere he wanted, just to stay close to him despite their conflicting schedules; not when he literally did his best to shower him with all the love and affection he had in his body—all the love and affection that had always been just for Eijirou himself to witness.
Wait.
Katsuki took a sudden stop at a red streetlight, fast enough not to collide with a racing car, a single fear proceeding to bubble up in his chest. Was he being too overbearing? Was he too much? Was Eijirou starting to feel he had not enough independence in their relationship?
Fuck. Had he been so blind he was sabotaging himself by being too in love with his husband?
It took a couple of people shouldering him with poorly concealed imprecations for Katsuki to lift his gaze off the ground and notice cars had stopped at the sides of the street. He resumed his run as worry began taking even more space in his mind.
When he arrived in front of their home—the house he'd bought as a vows-renewal gift for Eijirou and himself almost ten years ago—Katsuki fished his keys from his pocket, and promptly inserted them into the latch, but it took more than half a minute to actually muster the courage to rotate his hand and unlock the door.
He let the bags fall on the floor. Yet, as he stepped on the genkan to remove his shoes, his eyes caught a glimpse of something shining on top of the side drawer—something that shouldn't have been there today. Eijirou's wedding band was glinting with an array of red and orange hues, as the sun hit it from the living room window, and Katsuki felt his heart clench in his chest. Eijirou left it at home only when on duty, much like Katsuki himself, as they didn't want to risk losing them in battle; but today was his husband's day off. Had he been called for an emergency? For a second Katsuki hoped so, before remembering that Eijirou always texted him in case, to let him know he wouldn't be at home if Katsuki were to get back home before him.
Unfortunately, that only helped increasing Katsuki's paranoia. Was Eijirou getting so fed up with their little unwritten arrangements he couldn't even bother to leave a message? Fuck, they were heroes- Katsuki swore he trusted Eijirou not to have himself killed, he really did, but none of them had a magical sphere that assured them they would get back home, and a small part of his brain couldn't help but imagine someone calling him all of a sudden to let him know the love of his life had just been found dea- NO. He had to stop mulling over it, Eijirou just needed to be left alone for some time, he'd come back to him tonight, and they would cuddle, kiss, and maybe something more like they hadn't done in weeks. Katsuki felt his heart clench in his chest as an ugly sob broke out of his throat as he slammed the side of his head with his hand.
"K-Kats…?" Eijirou's tentative voice had him freeze on the spot, his brain hitting the rewind button on his train of thoughts. Wait. If Eijirou was home, now looking at him with worry from just a few steps away… Did it mean he was actually thinking of leaving him? Were the last two weeks a demo for their inevitable demise?
And Katsuki wasn't one for apocalyptic scenarios, he really wasn't, but all his head could focus on at the moment, with Eijirou's concerned gaze resting on him, was Eijirou's bare ring finger. Tears couldn't stop streaming from his eyes.
"Fuck- shit- Baby, what happened?" Eijirou's distress was clear in his voice as he swiftly closed the distance between the two of them in less than four strides. Soon, big, strong arms engulfed him, and Katsuki let himself be cradled until all he could hear were Eijirou's sweet coos. In the meantime, his husband's hands had started absentmindedly scratching along Katsuki's biceps, with the end of his fingers hardened just enough to leave a trail of red over his sensitive skin—it was exactly how Katsuki liked to fall asleep every night; yet, after two weeks of sleeping back to back, it felt almost like a mockery of sorts.
He retreated as he'd been burned.
Eijirou looked genuinely surprised. "Baby…?"
"Don't call me that." Katsuki's eyes met Eijirou's again, and saw the exact moment in which they became glassy with unshed tears, his mouth opening and closing as words got stuck on his tongue.
"What… Why?" He was now the one crying and a pang of guilt hit Katsuki's heart. "What did I do…?"
Shit. Despite what everyone thought, Katsuki wasn't strong; not when it came to his husband, the man that he vowed to love in every universe, in every lifetime. "Fuck, Eijirou," he said taking a step forward. "You didn't do anything, it's me. I-" He exhaled as he locked eyes with him again. "It hurts, fuck. These two weeks have been hell, I can't keep going like this."
Eijirou watched him while hugging himself, but said nothing, just avoiding his gaze again.
"Eijirou, please. I need the truth. I swear that I'll accept every single one of your decisions if it's what's best for you." He grounded himself with a steadying breath. "Do you…" Katsuki bit the inside of his cheek. "Are you thinking of asking for a divorce?" As soon as the words left his mouth, Katsuki knew he hadn't prepared himself hard enough for Eijirou's response. He was literally shaking like a leaf as he waited for the dreaded answer, his nails drawing blood on his palms because he was clenching his fists too hard.
God, he felt so pathetic.
"Katsuki… What the hell."
It didn't sound like a question, and Katsuki's eyes shot up to look at Eijirou's wide-eyed expression.
Silence fell between them for a couple of minutes before Katsuki found the right words. "Then why have you been avoiding me for two weeks straight? Fuck, Ei, you keep looking at me like you're scared of me, like I might hurt you…"
"No, god, no, ba- Katsuki, that's not-" His voice sounded broken, and Katsuki had to force himself to stay firm where he was and not run into his husband's embrace and kiss that pout away.
"Let me finish, please." He sighed, finally drying his eyes. "Eijirou, you know I'm not good with words, that my whole thing is doing," Katsuki said. "And that's why I need to know if I'm doing too much, if you want me to change anything. Am I making you uncomfortable in any way?"
Eijirou finally looked back at him. "Kats… Okay. I guess I owe you an explanation, I'm sorry."
It didn't take much for them to find themselves sat on the couch, their fingers intertwined in the middle. "So…?" Katsuki asked hesitant. Eijirou muttered something he couldn't comprehend, but his whole face turned the same color of his hair, and Katsuki couldn't help but chuckle. "Hey, dumbass, you have to raise your voice if you want me to understand." The affection was dripping from his lips, and that's how Katsuki knew—or, to better say, accepted for the hundredth time—that his husband had him wrapped around his finger.
Eijirou let out a strangled sound, but suddenly blurted out, "FUCKILOVEYOUSOMUCHIWANTTOHAVEACHILDWITHYOUANDICANTLOOKATYOUWITHOUTWANTINGITEVENMOREBUTIKNOWYOUDONTWA-"
"EIJIROU, SHUT UP." Katsuki's head was pounding, his body feeling as hot as molten rock. They were now watching each other with their pupils blown wide, their breaths ragged, and their faces flushed- hell, it felt exactly like their marriage proposal, when they'd somehow been able to choose the exact same moment to ask the fatidic question.
"Eijirou, please, what… What did you just say?" Katsuki asked as he tried to force his lungs to work normally again.
Eijirou looked at him with shame, adding pressure to their hand-hold as if Katsuki would flee away if he didn't keep him in place. "Katsuki… I…" Eijirou avoided his gaze again, and Katsuki wasn't having it anymore.
He swiftly cupped his cheeks, connecting their foreheads. "Eyes on me, Eijirou."
Eijirou complied with a gulp. "Fuck, Katsuki, I love you so fucking much. And the last two weeks have been hell for me as well, do you think it didn't hurt me to turn you down? To not feel your lips on mine, to not make love to you? Fuck, Kats, I've been miserable," he said as he slid a hand between their faces to dry the tears that had started pooling at his eyes. "People have noticed, I was almost late to save a child the other day because you were all I could think about…"
Katsuki silently recovered his initial position, but never lost the point of contact that was his left hand on Eijirou's cheek. On the contrary, he began caressing him with his thumb—and he swore his husband would be purring now if he were a cat. "Hell, Ei, why didn't you tell me? How did this even happen in the first place? It's not like I was the one not accepting your advances…"
"I was scared, okay?" he said sheepishly. "I've always wanted a family with you, Kats. I just know you'd be the greatest dad ever, but I also know you don't want to, and-" Katsuki made a move to speak, but Eijirou interrupted him. "No, there's no need to apologize or anything, I had accepted it, really. But then Ochaco and Izuku revealed her pregnancy, and, hell, I just couldn't look at you without seeing a mini us in your arms, or hugging your legs, or running to jump onto my shoulders…"
It was now Katsuki's turn to gulp.
"I'm sorry, Kats, I swear it will get better, I just need-" Fuck it. Katsuki surged forward and swallowed Eijirou's words in an open mouth kiss that had him still on the spot.
"Shut up, Eijirou," Katsuki said as he couldn't stop the smile that crept onto his face, nor the tears that wet his cheeks. "You're an idiot—a handsome, sweet, stupid, lovable idiot. Yes, Eijirou, I also want to start a family with you, you dumbass." The blinding smile that soon erupted on his husband's face had him fall in love all over again. He was radiant, and Katsuki couldn't take his eyes off of him if it were for the life of him.
Eijirou dried his eyes for the umpteenth time since they'd seen each other, then spoke again, his voice still hoarse. "D-do you actually mean it? Please, Kats, you know you can't play with my heart-strings like this."
"Yes, Eijirou. Yes. I do want to be a dad with you; I do want to see you cradle our child while singing a lullaby, I do want take them to school and argue with the teachers because they won't accept our kid will have to be the most badass of the class,"—at this, Eijirou rolled his eyes, but never dropped the euphoric expression that had Katsuki wanting to kiss him senseless again—"and I want to live this life with you, my love."
Nothing more had to be said, and soon Katsuki let out a yelp as he felt himself get manhandled by his husband who'd just picked him up from his waist to sit him up on his lap. Eijirou was looking at him with dilated pupils, his mouth slightly agape. "…You really are beautiful, baby."
And Katsuki was whipped. It didn't matter that they'd been married for more than a decade, that had known each other for even longer; watching Eijirou look at him as if he were under the effect of the most potent drugs, while knowing that he was the cause, had Katsuki's body temperature increase in a second. But just as they were about to collide again, Katsuki slid a hand between their faces. Eijirou looked at him quizzically, clearly a little hurt. "But then why aren't you wearing your ring?" Katsuki asked.
Eijirou looked genuinely taken aback. "What?"
"Uhm, your ring? The one I also have and that we've been wearing since we got married? You know, your wedding ring?"
"No, baby, I know that, but what do you mean? I do have i-" His words died in his mouth as he took a look at his hand. "Wait." Dread painted onto his face. "SHIT SHIT SHIT-"
Katsuki shut him up with a kiss again. "Dumbass, you left it in the bowl on the genkan drawer. You're telling me you just forgot to put it back?" Katsuki face-palmed. "You had me so fucking scared, I thought you were really thinking of divorcing me," Katsuki admitted again as he linked their foreheads.
And it was then that Eijirou kissed him again.
—
Katsuki bolted awake, his hand clenching at his chest trying to ease his heaving, and turned his head to reveal his childhood bedroom. Right, Eijirou's mum had forced him to sleep at his parents' as they waited for Eijirou to get out of the ICU.
Hot tears streamed down his cheeks as he hugged his pillow, trying to convince himself it was his partner. Shit, he'd never have a life in which they could marry each other and have children together, would he?
Katsuki drifted off back to sleep, hoping to wake up to good news.