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You know what’s embarrassing? Playing ‘Spin the Bottle’ with your brothers and other male friends.
You know what’s even more embarrassing? When the bottle points at you during the “Kiss the person to your left” challenge and the person to your left is your best friend’s best friend who you’ve had a crush on ever since you’ve met him five years ago.
“Come on Lou, don’t be such a girl,” George howls, slapping his thigh before finishing off his fifth beer, the glass bottle rattling as he places it among the others behind him.
I know I’m blushing, my hands are sweaty and my heart is beating faster than normally. I have two choices, really. I can either do it and give him a quick kiss or I can be sure that my beloved brothers will make fun of me for the rest of my life - or at least for the rest of the winter holidays, which is long enough.
“It’s just a kiss,” Paul mocks me as well while Henry remains quiet, his eyes fixed on us. Is that his ‘I’m jealous’-face or his ‘Paul and George are annoying again’-face? I don’t know and to be honest, I don’t care. Not now.
My thoughts are swirling around the 20 year old boy next to me with these sparkling blue eyes and those blond curls, which I’ve imagined touching at least a hundred times. I bet they are soft and silky and...
Okay, focus, Louise!
Focus!
Taking another deep breath, I turn towards him, a little relieved that he looks just as nervous. But then it’s probably only because my brothers and Henry are his flatmates and if he messes this up now, he’ll be the victim of their jokes for the rest of their time at uni together.
I can hear Paul and George still snickering in the background but I do my best to blend it out, my eyes resting on those soft, pale red lips of Tom.
I manage to smile at little, glad that we’re sitting on the ground as he returns that smile lovingly, causing butterflies to stumble around in my stomach and through all my limbs - or at least that’s what it feels like, this tingling sensation running all the way into the tip of my fingers.
As he leans into me, I know there’s no going back and I am glad he is the one making the first move as the guys’ voices are fading and it’s only Tom and myself that matter for now.
Now that he is so close to me, I realise that his eyes are different shades of green and blue and grey. I never knew they were. For a second my gaze flickers away from his eyes over the tiny scar on his forehead, wondering where he got that from before he is too close for me to see it and I’d have to move my head to have a proper look at it again. But I don’t care about the scar. Not now.
I can feel his breath on my skin and he smells of beer and peppermint. “Close your eyes,” he breathes, only for me to hear, and I do as I’m told before a jolt runs through my body, as his lips finally meet mine.
It’s a chaste kiss, lips pressing against lips, yet still I don’t want it to end. I smile into our kiss, as his hand comes to rest on my cheek, keeping me gently in place as his tongue runs slowly over my bottom lip, begging for entrance into the cavern of my mouth.
I just about manage to suppress a sigh as our tongues touch, gently, carefully, before he plays with mine, chasing it, teasing it.
This isn’t part of the challenge, we both know that. It didn’t say ‘kiss with tongues’, it simply said ‘kiss on the lips’ but we both don’t mind that it turned into something more, something better - at least I don’t.
Slowly, his thumb glides along my cheek while we explore each others’ mouth for the very first time, getting braver and more confident with every flick, every touch.
When he finally ends the kiss with a soft nibble of my bottom lip, I have no idea how much time has passed. It could have been a minute, it could have been ten, it could have been a few seconds only.
It’s quiet around us, though maybe it’s only because I’m still inside that bubble of happiness and amazement as I’ve just kissed the boy that I love. A shy and loving smile plays around Tom’s lips while his hand still rests on my cheek.
I turn my face into his touch, pressing a kiss onto his palm before I look back into his captivating eyes with my heart beating a fast tattoo against my ribs. He quickly glances to his left, smirking.
“We either scared them away or they finally had enough sense of tact to leave us alone,” he whispers, still smiling. I bite my lip with a chuckle, averting my eyes for a moment before I raise them again, moving closer to him once more.
“I don’t care as long as they’re gone,” I breathe and again my lips meet his, more confident this time while he pulls me gently onto his lap. His arm winds itself around my waist as I bury my hands in his curls. They are even softer than I imagined.
Again, his tongue fights mine playfully, his hand on my cheek pulling me as close as possible, my nose fitting perfectly next to his, like a missing jigsaw piece you’ve been looking for all this time.
I’m not sure I ever told Tom during all our years together that this, right then, right there, was my very first kiss. He was my first in so many things, all as equally important as this gentle touch of our lips - the beginning of a lifetime together.
My lifetime.