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PART I [ If you leave ]
Interviewer: What has been your favourite part about working with each other and what have you learned from each other?
Y/N: Too much.
Luke: Yeah… A lot.
Y/N: Oh no…
Luke: I think my favourite — what?
Y/N: OH, NO...
Luke: It's over?
Y/N: It's over.
Luke: It's over… No, no… It'II never be over. We'll always be Benedict and Sophie. That's my favorite thing, maybe. It’s that actually in a strange kind of way like that's never going to end. Like we’ll always have been these two people doing this show and no one else has done that. No one else has played these characters.
Y/N: It's really the beginning, isn't it?
Luke: It really is.
Y/N: I'm sorry. I’m like, all hormonal today. It's really… It's really a time.
Luke: It's wonderful, but it's true. I think that is my favorite thing. I think l'll hold on to the fact that… Oh, we did it. We did it together.
Y/N: Yeah.
Luke: Yeah, it’s just us.
Y/N: …and it's a gift
Luke: Yeah…
Y/N: And it’s a memory I'll always cherish.
Luke: Agreed.
Y/N: Yeah.
Interviewer: I don't even know where to go from there now...
Y/N: Neither do I!
Everyone in the room laughed, and the rest of the interviews followed in a long chain. The day kept moving until they finally wrapped up their very last one for the day. Actually, scratch that, they were officially finished, not just for today, but for the whole season.
This was their very last press junket day after all.
After months of filming, daily media interviews, and seeing the same faces every single hour, it was all finally over. Y/N smiled for the cameras, hugged the crew members she knew best, and thanked everyone around her. She had done exactly what she was supposed to do.
The only exception was a certain silvery, green-eyed brunet, whom she avoided like the plague.
Once she safely locked herself inside her dressing room later that evening, she finally let her guard down. She wanted to sit with her emotions and feel everything completely. Right now, she just needed to let it all out. There was no dramatic sobbing, only quiet tears sliding down her cheeks. It was the gentle kind of crying that happens when a good chapter finally closes.
Then, a soft knock sounded at the door.
“Y/N, are you alright?”
She instantly recognized Luke’s voice.
“I’m fine,” she called back.
“Are you, love?”
She laughed weakly through her tears. “I guess n-not really...” she choked out.
“Would you like me to take you home?”
Home.
Ever since she had arrived in London for the press tour, ‘home’ just meant a cold hotel room in the city. Realizing that suddenly made her feel even lonelier.
“No, it’s alright,” she answered softly. “You can go home though. Thank you.”
When Luke didn't reply, a sudden wave of regret hit her. She wanted to call out his name, but the heaviness inside her was too suffocating, trapping the words in her throat.
She didn’t want him to see her this way anyway, especially when he was mostly the reason for her tears.
She spent another half hour lost in memories, fighting to regain control. Finally, Y/N took a deep breath, touched up her makeup as best she could, and opened the dressing room door.
Instead of an empty hallway, Luke was sitting right there on the floor. He nearly lost his balance, having leaned his weight against the door this whole time.
He had been waiting for her.
Instantly, Y/N’s eyes welled up again. “Oh no, not again…” she muttered, desperately tapping the corners of her eyes to hold back a heavy sob. She can’t imagine what he thinks of her now. She was completely overwhelmed by the end of her very first season, while he effortlessly survived this cycle every single year, after every end of a season.
Luke stood up the moment he caught his balance, taking a hesitant step toward her. The second her lower lip began to tremble, he closed the remaining distance and wrapped his arms tightly around her.
“I know, love. I know…” he murmured into her hair.
She buried her face in his shoulder. “I didn’t think it would hurt this much. I’m sorry.”
“There's nothing to be sorry for, Y/N,” he said softly.
She pulled back slightly, a sudden realization hitting her. “Wait... did you hear me crying through the door this whole time?”
Luke offered a small, teasing smile. “After today? I’ve gotten used to it, really.”
That managed to make her laugh.
Luke smiled against her hair. “Do you want me to take you back to your hotel?”
Y/N hesitated, then shook her head. “I don’t really want to be alone right now.”
His expression softened instantly. “Right. Of course.” He considered their options for a moment. “Would you like to come eat ice cream with me?”
She pulled back, looking at him with a confused blink.
When she didn’t answer, Luke gave a small, sheepish grin. “I know you prefer ice lollies — er, sorry, icy poles, but I’ve only got ice cream at my flat…”
A warm, fuzzy feeling spread through Y/N’s chest, and she had a strong suspicion it had absolutely nothing to do with the ice cream.
“We can also watch anything you want,” he offered. “Maybe binge-watch some old Top Model seasons?”
She smiled. “Now you’re speaking my language.”
“Well, come on then,” Luke said. He laughed softly, pleased by her quick change in mood, and guided her toward the studio exit.
For the first time all evening, the heavy weight in her chest dissipated into the chilly London spring air.
***
Despite its massive size, Luke’s apartment was incredibly welcoming. Every corner screamed his name. A grand piano dominated one side of the living room, balanced by floor-to-ceiling shelves of books and an impressive vinyl collection. A plush, inviting sofa sat right in the center, facing a massive television screen.
In all their months of filming together, Y/N had never been here. Her co-star was known to be quite private, keeping his personal life completely under wraps.
“Make yourself comfortable, love. I’ll be right back.”
Sinking into the corner of the couch, Y/N let her eyes wander. She wanted to commit everything into her memory: the piano, the books, the warm vibe. She doesn’t want to ever forget any experiences she has with him.
Over the last few weeks, her feelings for Luke had quietly shifted into more than just a platonic affection. The sudden realization that she wouldn't see him every day terrified her to her core. He had become her anchor, and she dreaded the heavy withdrawal waiting for her when she finally goes back home.
Luke returned a moment later, handing her one of the two ice cream bowls he was carrying. He plopped down into the cushion right beside her and flipped on the TV.
They spent the next hour lost in America’s Next Top Model. As the episodes rolled by, Y/N found herself resting her head against his shoulder, while his hand found her waist, tracing gentle, comforting circles.
Having worked so closely for so long, they were completely in sync. They knew each other's hidden quirks inside and out. The moment one of them felt anxious, the other instinctively knew exactly how to comfort them.
It was exactly why falling for him had been the easiest thing in the world.
Luke had been incredibly attentive to her all night. Seeing that her bowl was empty, he gave her a playful smile. “More ice cream, mademoiselle?”
Y/N shook her head. She didn’t actually want another bowl of death by chocolate, but refusing meant this perfect night would have to end. The ice cream flavour seems too fitting for the current situation. She found it unfair that her entire world could be upended just because she was simply too full.
How tragic.
“You know…” Luke started.
“Hm?” She looked up at him, as she snapped out of her reverie.
“I’m actually rather glad today was our last press day.”
A metaphorical record scratch echoed loudly in Y/N's mind.
She stared at Luke as he continued to smile at the TV. It was as if his casual confession didn’t just completely shattered her world. A world that currently consisted entirely of him.
She froze, her body going completely numb. All she could manage to squeeze out was a quiet, "Oh."
Right then, one of the models on the screen slipped on the runway. Luke, his eyes still glued to the television, chuckled with amusement. “I’m sorry,” he laughed, “I feel absolutely terrible for laughing at that.”
Y/N quietly set her bowl aside. In a single second, the warmth in her chest evaporated. Her mind began to spiral out of control before she could even try to stop it.
Of course he's glad.
He was notoriously private and hated social media, so she couldn't blame him for wanting it to be over. It meant freedom from the endless interviews and the blinding cameras.
Although she couldn’t help but think that maybe to him, it also meant he doesn’t have to keep up with the pretences anymore. That he can finally step out of this and be completely free from the role he’s playing.
Y/N had hoped that maybe Luke would miss her too, that he might struggle just as much with the idea of it all ending. She never imagined that her worst fear was exactly what he had been craving this entire time.
Reaching her absolute limit for the night, she stood up and grabbed her bag. “It’s late, I should probably get going.”
Luke frowned, completely caught off guard. “Wait, love, I thought you didn’t want to be alone.”
She didn’t respond, terrified that she might burst into tears all over again. She had already embarrassed herself far too much. Her only goal now was to escape.
She was already at the door when both of Luke’s arms suddenly wrapped around her waist, pulling her back.
A hot wave of anger started to envelope her slowly. Why was he holding her back? She didn’t understand why he had to subject her to anymore of this torture.
“Luke, let me go.” She forced the words past her gritted teeth, desperate to hold back her tears.
“No, not before you tell me what’s wrong. Why do you want to leave all of a sudden, love?”
She was completely exhausted by his mixed signals. The constant back-and-forth was giving her emotional whiplash, driving her closer and closer to her breaking point.
“Please, love. Tell me. What did I do wrong?” His voice cracked, and she could hear the genuine worry in his tone.
Y/N swallowed hard, fighting past the tightness in her throat to pull together a brave face. “Honestly, Luke, I just want to make things easier for us. For you, especially.”
When he felt her stop fighting against him, he let go of her waist and stepped around to block her path. He looked down into her eyes.
“Easier? By leaving me?” he asked, his eyes searching hers.
“Yes.” Y/N closed her eyes, physically feeling the hot tears about to spill over. She forced herself to blink them away, clinging to her anger like a shield as she crossed her arms to build a barrier between them.
“You’re glad it’s finally over, remember?” She threw his own words back at him. “Honestly, Luke, if that’s how you really feel, then why the hell did you even bring me here? You should have just left me alone so I could go back to my hotel. I might have been miserable, yeah, but I really thought you of all people would understand what I’m going through. I thought we were in this together.”
Y/N was furious with herself. She couldn’t keep her mouth shut long enough to save herself from complete personal ruin. She had never planned on confessing her feelings for him, especially not now, when he was clearly glad to be rid of her.
Pushing past him, she reached desperately for the doorknob. “Get out of the way, Luke,” she begged, as the tears finally spilled over and tracked down her cheeks. “Please, just let me leave with whatever tiny bit of dignity I still have left.”
“Of course, love,” Luke said, his expression devastatingly somber. “You can leave, and you can keep your dignity…”
Without warning, he sank to his knees at her feet, the absolute image of a broken man. “Or you can have mine.”
“What are you doing? Luke, please get up.”
“No. It seems I’ve caused you too much pain, Y/N. I am so sorry,” Luke murmured. The complete honesty in his eyes shattered what was left of her composure. “You must believe me, I never wanted to hurt you.”
The raw emotion in his tone nearly broke her heart all over again. “Whatever, fine,” she cried softly, tugging at his shoulders. “I forgive you. Just get up.”
“No. None of that 'whatever' or 'fine' nonsense,” he insisted, refusing to budge. “I want you to listen to me. Earlier in that interview today, when I said about what my favorite thing was... I wanted so badly to say you and me, not Sophie and Benedict. But I couldn't confess that on camera… No, not before I even had the courage to say it to you first.”
Y/N stood frozen. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, his words felt too good to be true.
“Y/N, love, can’t you see that I’ve always been in love with you?” Luke asked, his gaze locked onto hers. “On set, I constantly had to hold myself back from getting carried away. When it felt like you were returning my feelings, I was terrified. You’re such an incredible actress, that I nearly drove myself insane trying to figure out what was real and what was acting. During this press tour, I had to force myself to remember that there was a reporter or that there were other people in the room with us, because honestly, the only person I ever truly saw constantly was you.”
He slowly reached out, his fingers brushing against hers. When Y/N didn't pull away, he took her hand in both of his and finally stood up.
He caressed her hand gently between his. “But most importantly, the reason why I said I was glad today was the last day of the press tour... is because I can finally just be Luke, and not Benedict the character.”
Y/N’s heart hammered against her ribs.
“I love you, Y/N. I’ve been in love with you for months,” he whispered. “Please, if you’ll have me, I would very much like to be with you… and take you out to a proper dinner.”
Y/N’s vision blurred, but not from sadness this time. Hot tears of pure joy welled in her eyes. “Yes…” she said softly, as she threw herself into his arms, burying her face in his chest.
Luke let out a soft sigh, tightening his grip to pull her even closer, as if he never wanted to let her go.
“Now, I know we’ve already bypassed the usual steps, and technically you're my wife now according to the show's finale. But I still want to ask... would you be offended if I asked you to be my mistress — er, no, sorry, I meant girlfriend?”
Y/N let out a breathless laugh, her eyes still wet with tears.
“Ah, there she is,” Luke murmured, visibly relieved that she laughed and seemed to have forgiven him.
Y/N still couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but a wave of relief washed over her. Everything seemed finally right between them.
“You talk too much,” she murmured. She stood on her tiptoes, pulling him down further to close the distance between them, and mouthed her next words against his lips. “Just kiss me already.”
That was all the invitation Luke needed. He tangled his fingers in Y/N’s hair, pulling her into a breathless, heated kiss. His lips parted hers, begging for permission to deepen it, and she eagerly gave it to him. It was a million times better than they could have ever imagined. The realization that they had spent so much time pining like idiots only made their very first real kiss absolutely perfect.