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My head is full of poison and my heart is full of doubt

Summary:

the story of Johanna Mason starting on the 75th reaping day of the hunger games.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Reaping day

Chapter Text

Ugh, reaping day. The worst day of the year. The day when I just wanna kill every single person in the Capitol. I thought as I threw on some clothes and got ready for the day. President Snow had announced a few months ago that the tributes would be reaped from the existing pool of victors. Ever since my life has consisted of training, hating snow, anddd hating the capitol as a whole. It’s all fucking unfair! There’s no reason I should have to go back into that arena. But we all know who is going to be reaped, me. Because I’m the only living female victor of District Seven. Fuck my life.

I look around my house, which is empty except for a lot of silverware, trinkets my dad left me before he died (a few nice plates from his mother and a pendant of a tree with an axe stuck in it), and my axe collection. I wish I could take my axe collection with me. It’s the one thing that brings me joy these days. I have one axe with a golden handle that sparkles in the sunlight beautifully, another with an oak wood handle and intricate drawings carved into it, and my favorite axe, which has a mahogany handle and a very expensive glossy finish (I tracked down the finest finish to complement the head of the axe). The axe head is a deep red and silver that goes into a swirling pattern, the silver looking like it has a million tiny sparkling stars in it. I take one last look at it and then walk out the door.

 

I’m walking out of Victor's Village taking in the sights of my district for possibly, sorry DEFINITELY for the last time. I take in the forest around me, the lake where my dad took me before they killed him, and the other civilian houses. I’m walking and all I feel is a deep burning anger. I wanna stick my axe right into Coriolanus Snow’s head and watch him bleed. I see Blight and Chip, the other male victors from my district. We meet up and peacekeepers immediately surround us. Per usual to escort us to the reaping. With peacekeepers around we can’t say much.
We don’t really feel like talking anyway, but Blight says is “Hey Jo, you excited for the reaping?” In a voice dripping with sarcasm. I scoff loudly and say “Yeah you could say that.” Just silence after that. As we are walking I feel a sense of calm surrounding Chip and Blight. They look defeated. I know that they have accepted that one of them will go into the arena. I’m not so calm, I can’t help but feel rage. At the Capitol, at Snow, and at these victors just standing around without any will to live or fight. That won’t be me. I look around at the peacekeepers wondering how many I could take out. There are six surrounding us all armed with guns and they're stupid protective outfits. Maybe I can take two or three before getting shot, but probably not the smartest decision. Blight and Chip wouldn’t be much help either. I’d probably just get them killed too. So I push down the anger bubbling inside me and desperately fight the urge to attack them.

We arrive at the stage and I see Mariette, our district's escort. She stands on stage in a tight dark green sleeveless dress that stops just below her knees and comes up to cover her whole neck. It also has some ridiculous-looking huge flowers, that look like roses, on both her shoulders. A green hat with another one of those green flowers on top, ridiculous green makeup, and a dark green wig that looks to be one foot tall on her head. Must have been really going for the tree look I guess.

Blight and I hop up on stage to take our places before the reaping starts. Mariette starts fixing the microphone and shouting at people to get their shit together. She does this every year, she’s not necessarily a perfectionist like District Twelve’s escort Effie Trinket, she just enjoys being mean. Anyway, I take my thoughts away from her and focus on Mariette as she starts talking into the microphone. Then my gaze shifts to the giant bowl filled with one slip of paper. I stare at that paper that obviously has my name on it. Mariette is talking but I barely hear her. I just stare at that paper until I hear her say, "And now for the lady tribute." Just as Mariette starts walking toward the bowl I run towards it, pull out the slip of paper, and stomp over to the microphone. I start unfolding the piece of paper just feeling rage and scream into the microphone “OH I WONDER WHO IT IS!? WHO COULD IT POSSIBLY BE!? OH SHIT! IT'S ME! JOHANNA MANSON! WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED!?” I start laughing uncontrollably while peacekeepers rush onto the stage and start to pull me back from the microphone. I start fighting to no avail because there are four peacekeepers now rushing me back into position. They aren’t gentle either.

 

Mariette is just standing there in shock but quickly recovers and starts walking back to the microphone she says, " Well.
Johanna Manson read our tribute's name right! Time for the men.” She walks up to the bowl with two slips of paper in it. Her black and brown high heels click as she crosses the stage. She just grabs a piece of paper very violently and stalks back up to the microphone and says “The male tribute is Blight Thompson” Right then the peacekeepers still holding me, roughly starts to shove me backwards to the door. Blight is grabbed by three peacekeepers while he’s slowly realizing he’s not going to get to say goodbye. A peacekeeper whispered something to him too low for me to hear. But I hear him then start screaming “NO I GET TO SAY GOODBYE! I was promised a goodbye!”
While his wife is standing in the audience sobbing. Chip just starts walking towards the door shaking his head. Blight starts to fight the peacekeepers and actually manages to punch one in the face. The peacekeeper didn’t like that. He punches Blight in the face in return knocking him out. They start dragging both of us through the hallway. I’m just sitting limp in their arms not wanting to meet the same fate Blight did. One of the peacekeepers holding me grunts to the next “it’ll be easier let’s just knock this one out and throw em both in the train”. A surge of panic runs through me. I try not to let it show though, I’m as calm as I can possibly be as they keep dragging me in the seemingly endless hallway. I faintly hear Mariett's heels clicking behind us. Suddenly Chip comes in front of me and says “No stop!”. And that’s the last thing I hear before my world goes black.

Notes:

Hey guys! Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think and if you want me to write more!!