Work Text:
It is midnight,
Avery is having trouble sleeping, and d3rLord3 has lost the ability to fall asleep anyway so he is keeping Avery company at night.
They both are outside, lying on the grass and gazing at the stars.
There is a cold breeze in the air which makes Avery shiver, but the presence of d3r alone makes the cold be bearable enough.
D: We should go inside soon, wouldn’t wanna catch a cold.
A: 15 more minutes then?
D: Alright.
d3r turns his head towards Avery, who seems to be lost in thought, judging by the complex look on his face.
stars reflected on Avery's body, with constellations seemingly all over him, his eyes shone along with them.
A: …
A: Derek.
D: Hm?
Avery momentarily mouths a few words, trying to gather his thoughts.
A: I uh- I’ve been wanting to ask you something.
D: Shoot
A: The thing is,-
Avery turns towards d3r
A: I cannot really put it into words.
A: And you know, you are the all-knowing guy sooo maybe you could help?
D: Odd request, but sure
d3r sits upright in a cross-legged position, puts his elbow on his leg and rests his head on his hand.
…and Avery realises that he is about to go through a psychoanalysis.
d3r clears his throat.
D: There seem to be many conflicting thoughts within your mind, some overlapping and some appearing for but a fleeting moment.
D: But those waves of thought seem to be pointing towards a single direction.
Avery gazes at the sky to try and momentarily distract himself from the conversation,
it doesn’t work.
D: The reason why you cannot formulate a question is simply because, deep down, you do not wish to ask it.
D: You’re scared.
D: I don’t think you should be.
A: This feels like a therapy session rather than a conversation.
D: I mean I can stop if it’s making you uncomfortable-
A: No no it’s ok, it’s not like it matters anyway
A: I know you know it
D: …Let me rephrase your question so that it’s easier to tackle then.
The stars seemed to align in the sky, reflecting on d3r’s helmet
D: “Was I to you what you were to me?”
That-
That was it.
That was Avery’s question.
But hearing it come out of d3r’s mouth felt… freeing, in a way.
D: And I shall answer your question with one of mine:
D: “What am I to you?”
A: Well you should know that too shouldn’t you
D: In an objective sense, yes, but not through your line of thought.
D: I see facts, and human emotions do not act as such. Your thoughts are much more than just a statement.
D: Technically speaking, I could be anything as long as I fit the category; but the way you see me is up to you.
What was d3r to Avery?
well he’s a companion to share struggles with, also a saviour in a way, a friend - there’s too many things to take into account here.
D: I can narrow down your question even further
D: “What am I? What were we?”
…
D: “Was I of any importance to you?”
Avery’s mind went blank.
He didn’t want to do this anymore.
D3r laid back onto the grass right next to Avery.
D: Think of this;
D: Right this second, there are countless events happening, fate’s cogs churn non-stop after all.
D: …And I get to be a witness to it.
Avery’s full attention was on d3r, trying to focus on his words
D: And here I am, next to you.
You are real
D: Yes in the grand scheme of things we might be worth even less than specks of dust but, your worth is not derived as such.
You are Special
D: In my eyes, your worth is nothing short of boundless. And do take that as a compliment, my eyes have sure seen a lot.
Remember Who you are
Avery dared not to speak as he was on the verge of tears.
D: Well-
A dim yellow light shone through the crevices of d3r’s helmet.
A warm looking light but oh so cold.
D: That’s what you want to hear from me anyway.
Avery opened his eyes.
He
woke up.
“You are Special” my ass
stupid fucking dream