Archive of Our Own

I never really intended to tell you my name.

Your courage, your despair, your kindness, your pain; your resentment, your hate, your intelligence, your foolishness…
I understood it all

I didn’t want you to know mine.

But
In that very moment
I wished to tell you my everything,
Like how I was told yours.

I wanted to be remembered,
to be known by you.
To have all of my complexities and flaws spread out on a platter
for you to witness.

I had a thousand things to tell you
All I could utter was my name

—

A picture of you has been burnt into my mind

And, I hope
A picture of me is something you’ll never get to witness

All you will have is the me you got to see for but a fleeting moment
called “Derek”

And I hope you’ll fulfill a selfish,
naive wish of mine

I will keep you as a whole
within my mind,
until the end of time
(which draws near)

Let my name be remembered,
please
I dare not say another line.