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This is part of my "Summer of 1999" series and will not make much sense on its own (though I hope it looks purdy!)
Just Like a Baby Bird
by Helen W.
When a mama bird is trying to teach a baby to fly, what does she do? She kicks him out of the nest. And it works. There’s no processing. Just a shove and that’s it.
If you’d just given me a kick in the pants, I would have done okay down in Colorado. But without you believing in what going on, well, of course I was going to fail.
Hey Blair,
Date: Thurs., July 22, 1999
Time: 10 - 10:10 a.m.
Conf. w/ Jim E. – What the hell?
Action item(s): Confirm reservation w/ USAir; call Joan re: switching weekends with Daryl.
What have I gotten myself into? I can’t believe that Jim thinks that going back to visit the Air Force in Colorado behind Sandburg’s back is a good idea. And I can’t believe I just agreed to go with him.
Things have been going so smoothly these past couple of weeks, too! Jim’s been effective – focused, but relaxed – and the kid has seemed upbeat.
Gah, 7 a.m. flight tomorrow. What the hell was I thinking? But how could I have said no? Could tell it was taking a lot for him to come to me. Damn flattering, actually.
Seeing as you're occupied this weekend, I thought I'd hop back down to Colorado Springs, see what's up with our friends there.
Jim DITCHED me? “Yeah, go see Margaret, have a great weekend, say hi for me,” and now he’s ditched me? Shit.
Turns out Simon's always wanted to see the Rockies, visit the Air Force Academy, so he's tagging along.
But he took Simon?
Time: 1:15 – 1:30 p.m.
Looked over notes on that whole space slug disposal thing last month.
Action item(s): See whether I can figure out what the NID did with that thing.
Time: 1:15 – 1:40 p.m.
Looked over notes on the times I’ve had to deal w/ Jim in ‘Sentinel’ mode sans Blair.
Action item(s): Pray.
At least, with Jim set on going public, I don’t have to write around the ‘Sentinel’ thing anymore.
Must be pretty bad, whatever he’s expecting, to want hand-holding, and from his boss of all people. Not sure whether I should be deeply honored or scared out of my wits.
Okay, I’m going to take Simon being out there with Jim as a good thing.
Going-on-four years of managing Jim since he went Sentinel, and this is all I have? I think it’s 90% the kid, I really do.
Time: 1:40 – 1:45 p.m. – Conf. w/ Jim (yeah, again).
Told Jim that if there’s something he’s trying to hide from Sandburg it’s the last thing he should keep from the kid. Jim took it like I thought he would, but it had to be said. Won’t push any more.
If I thought I needed Blair, I’d be doing this with Blair! I’m not an idiot.
Don’t press me on this. I know what I’m doing.
Simon's got a load of ‘use it or lose it’ built up, so the timing’s perfect.
Liar.
Time: 5:40 – 5:50 p.m. – Talked to Joan
Daryl will be officially with her this weekend, with me next.
I say ‘officially’ because it’s summer and Daryl’s seventeen. So he sleeps where he wants. But the last thing we need is for him to have an empty place all to himself without Joan or me knowing what’s up. Wouldn’t stay empty long!
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Date: Fri., July 23, 1999
Time: 6:47 a.m.
About to board. I hate Jim.
Jim looks like he’s heading to a firing squad. Still won’t tell me what’s up, or what he and Sandburg did when they were in Colorado Springs, or even whether it’s related to that slug. “Ular,” Jim calls it. My best detective names slugs.
Time: 8:20 a.m.
Re: the Carlton case – has the step-grandmother been interviewed since we found the paint stains?
Action item(s): Call Rafe during the layover.
I’d like to bounce this off of Jim, but I think I’d get better conversation from the safety pamphlet.
I can do this. It’ll be cake. I’ll know what to expect this time.
Time: 11 a.m. (Mountain)
Called Rafe. He and Jim already talked to the grandmother. Dead end.
“Hey Jim, about the Carlton case.”
“The… the… Yeah. What about it?”
“Never mind.”
Time: 1 p.m.
Landing, finally.
Action item(s): I wish I knew.
So this is my telephone buddy, ‘Col. Jack O’Neill.’ He and Jim seem friendly enough. Is he looking around for Sandburg?
“This time, Jim ran away from him.”
Can’t tell whether O’Neill is pleased or not; Jim’s pissed at my synopsis, but I’m here, aren’t I?
Time: 2:20 p.m.
In a mountain (!) filling out forms, by hand. Lots and lots of forms.
Action item(s): Introduce these guys to the concept of e-forms.
Should I be wondering why nobody’s asking what I’m doing here?
Don’t worry, if things get rough, Simon won’t ever be more than a phone call away.
Should I have put that in?
Don’t you remember last time? In what reality is freaking out for an hour while they try to track down Simon fun?
Time: 3 p.m.
Okay, I guess we’re about to start whatever Jim came here to do.
This Dr. Pan seems a bit nervous around Jim, maybe a little guilty. Same for Dr. Frazier.
What, Jim dragged me here to watch Air Force quacks hypnotize him? Jim doesn’t really seem like the type you could…
Well, I was wrong about that! Wouldn’t this have come in handy a time or three.
I wonder if Blair knows how easy Jim is to put under.
Okay… so the Air Force wants Jim to channel, what, past lives? And this was what he was doing here last month?
Sure, why the hell not?
Of the three of us, Sandburg’s the one who was weirded out by this?
No, Pepe! Don’t!
Like Simon would have any idea what to do if you wig!!
Okay, this is getting freaky.
“Jim, calm down, buddy, and answer the nice man’s questions so we can go get ourselves a couple of 20 oz. steaks for dinner.”
Knew that would do it.
Right. Simon’s here. Right.
Gotta do this. “I’m fine. Let’s keep going.”
Time: 5:30 p.m.
Done for the day, heading to dinner, then checking into the Hilton.
“I still haven’t figured out what we’re doing here.”
“You haven’t guessed?”
“What do you know that could possibly be useful to the Air Force?”
“It’s not about what I know. I’m proving I can do this.”
“Why?”
“It’s big, Simon. You must have some inkling how big. And I completely screwed up the last time I was here.”
“I can’t believe that.”
“It’s true. But my head was in the wrong place.”
“Because of Sandburg?”
“Yeah. Partly, at least.”
Huh.
There’s just some things you can’t leave hanging, you know?
Who are you trying to prove something to, Jim? Me?
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Date: Saturday, July 24, 1999
Time: 8:30 a.m.
Back into the mountain.
And here we go again.
Or your old buddy, Jack O’Neill? Is proving you’re a tough guy to him worth your sanity?
Honestly, this isn’t that bad. After all the shit Jim’s put me through the past couple of years, having to occasionally shake him a little or remind him of the here-and-now is nothing.
O’Neill and his people seem pleased too. And Jim’s a completely different guy than yesterday heading in here. Relaxed, smiling, joking a little.
I almost think I could sneak out for a few hours of sight-seeing. But Blair would kill me.
Time: 5 p.m.
Tex-Mex tonight, then early to bed. A few more hours in the mountain tomorrow, then an afternoon flight home.
“So things were different last time?”
“Yeah.”
“But you knew it would be better without Sandburg?”
“Yeah. I knew you wouldn’t let me get away with shit.”
“If I had a nickel for every time you’ve gotten away…”
“No, hear me out, Simon. It’s like… Carolyn was always going on about all these reasons she saw for the ‘glass ceiling,’ and one was that when things get rough women don’t get a kick in the pants, they get told it’s all right to drop out of grad school, or not go for the promotion if they fail the exam the first time, or whatever.”
“Because nobody has faith in them? Jim, nobody has more faith in you than Sandburg.”
“No – because nobody wants to see them hurt. I mean, it’s like with baby birds. Their mama’s got to push them out of the nest.”
“So that makes you, what, a baby bird? Jim, your analogies need some work.”
“More like, like a raw recruit then.”
“I haven’t had to do any drill sargenting here. Think I’d’ve noticed that.”
“Anyway, it’s worked. I’ve convinced them I’m not a head case.”
“Spending hours delving into your past lives doesn’t make you a head case?”
“Not by local standards.”
Has what we’ve been doing here lost me Jim? Is this all some sort of job interview? Would Jim pull me along for THAT?
Yeah, if it got him some goal, sure he would.
Or do you really think O’Neill and his friends were telling the truth? That Ular and Seth were the front force of some sort of alien invasion?
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Date: Sunday, July 25, 1999
Time: 8:30 a.m.
Checking out and heading back to the mountain.
Same old, same old. But now everyone’s best friends, even that geeky guy with the ball-point who keeps sticking his head in.
Time: 11 a.m.
Waiting area, while Jim talks to O’Neill and his boss in private.
Let’s see, we’ve got ‘Physics Today,’ ‘Scientific American,’ and ‘Utne Reader.’ What kind of a military base are they running here?
Time: 2 p.m.
Waiting to board; non-stop this leg.
Jim’s practically bouncing; this can’t be good.
Anyway, with any luck I’ll beat you home and you’ll never see this.
Too late for that!
- J
Time: 6:47 p.m.
Home sweet home!
Action item(s): Have Rhonda start screening resumes.
And change my will to have ‘chump’ added to my tombstone.
“Hey.”
“Hey. How was Margaret?”
“Fine. She says hi. Wondered how we were getting along, after this past spring, and told her, ‘never better.’”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“I’d have gone – I mean, I know I said I wouldn’t, but if you’d called my bluff…”
“Didn’t need you. Simon was bored out of his mind.”
“Tell me he didn’t really spend the weekend sight-seeing.”
“He could have.”
“So - now what?”
“I’m going back next month and we’re discussing employment.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“You can, ya know, live here as long as you want. I’m not moving to Colorado Springs, at least not right away.”
“You – man, I thought you were ditching me before, but this is…”
“Or you can talk to O’Neill yourself and see if you want to get more involved. It’s up to you. But give me a break and do it for yourself, not me, okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I think that depending on you – dependency just doesn’t look good on me.”
Well, shit.
* * * THE END * * *
Special thanks to Snycock and especially Skye for comments on an earlier verions.