Chapter Text
Elena Gilbert was settling into her life as a vampire. The first few weeks after her transition were some of the most difficult of Elena's life. They were also some of the most rewarding.
Everything seemed to be amplified to one extent or another. School, oddly enough, was more enjoyable; at least now that she didn't have to worry about vampires attacking her or those she loved. The time she spent with her friends was more cherished. Meaning seemed to imbue everything she did.
She was going to be fine.
()()()
She was growing used to living at Mikaelson Manor, as she'd heard Matt and Alaric jokingly refer to the house. It was large enough to give her the room she needed, yet there always seemed to be someone nearby, which did wonders to calm Elena's nerves (unless that person was Klaus, in which case Elena's nerves remained pretty tense).
Even though Elena had her own room, she still preferred to spend most nights in Elijah's. After waking up as a vampire, it had been the first place in which she could remember feeling safe. Something about being in his room and sharing his bed felt right to her. Her room was actually connected to his by the bathroom, much like it had been for her and Jeremy. (Except she and Jeremy had never screwed each other senseless on the bathroom floor.) While she appreciated the privacy her own space afforded her, especially on her more vulnerable days (such as when Damon and Stefan had left), it was comforting to know that Elijah was only a room away even on the nights when Elena just needed to be alone.
The damaged Italian marble tiles had been replaced (she still couldn't believe her foot had hit the floor that hard) and the wall and ceiling looked brand new, nary a crack in sight. The room bore a few testaments to the fact that she now occupied this space as well, though the room was undoubtedly his.
The new bed frame was a custom order - the strongest, most durable frame they could find. Barring Bonnie reinforcing it with magic (and it was always a possibility), Elena couldn't think of any way it could be improved. She and Elijah had certainly put it to the test the first night they'd had it, and it had actually held up.
Sometimes everything felt like a blur to Elena, especially how far her relationship with Elijah had advanced in so short a time. She'd wanted to save his life; she hadn't counted on the feelings that had arisen as she did so. Something about the way he'd held her, promised he'd take care of her, and was tender even as he helped to drain her dry had sparked something in her upon her awakening, illuminating for her the connection the two of them had always seemed to share and allowed her to see a glimpse of all that it could be.
Afterwards... Well, they had destroyed his room in their fervor. Elena knew that a part of it had been her emotions raging out of control like a wildfire. Yet his had run just as rampant - still waters may run deep but there was always the threat of a dam breaking and unleashing a flood. Elijah had held no part of himself back from her and she'd had no other thought but to offer herself the same way.
Elijah sought her happiness, even as he respected her limits. He never hovered; he never talked down to her, and would never harm her. Yet the intensity in his gaze, his kiss, his embrace left her speechless, nearly adrift in a tempest of emotion. (Nearly, for he was he was her anchor.) Elijah allowed Elena to be herself and make her mistakes. He would offer advice, but with the exception of the incident with Mary Porter back in Denver, the final decision was always Elena's. He touched her, moved with her, as if she were the most precious thing in his life. The best way she could think to describe it (and she felt like old, writer Elena as she did so) was that his love was like a steel cable, made of smaller, more fragile strands - like respect, devotion, and passion - that coiled tightly together into something unbreakable and unwavering.
It was, as she'd told Jeremy that day back in Denver, everything she never knew she wanted.
But...
It wasn't as though Elena never had moments of insecurity, moments of doubt. Doubt about Elijah, doubt about her friends, doubt about this new life she'd chosen for herself.
She sometimes, on her darker days, wondered if she'd done the right thing in letting herself be turned. Then she'd want to scream in guilt and frustration at herself for even considering that she might have done something else. No other way would have worked; and the consequences, which she'd been unaware of at the time, would have been devastating.
Her emotions were getting better; or rather, she was getting better at handling them. But even with the weeks she'd had to adjust, sometimes she felt as though it were not enough. How had the others managed this? How had they (Kol being the debatable exception) not lost their minds? How had they (Klaus being the debatable exception) managed to keep some semblance of humanity? How did they live day after day, year after year, century after century?
She missed so many things about her human life: her parents and Aunt Jenna; Jeremy, wonderful, understanding, better-than-she-deserved Jeremy; and - so much that sometimes it was almost a physical pain - Damon and Stefan. She missed the promise of a future where she could grow old and raise a family. She missed the days where her biggest concern was if she had Caroline's latest cheer routine down or not.
She instead tried to focus on the positives of her new life. Her biggest threat, Esther, was turned into a vampire, daggered, and safely locked away. Her friends and family were safe from a bound Klaus, who no longer had reason to terrorize them. And, because of her death, the Petrova line had ended with her and the doppelgänger was no more.
With the exception of Damon and Stefan, both of whom she knew would probably never truly forgive her (Klaus had done too much damage to them and their bond for them to ever completely accept that Elena had given her life to save his and those of his family), her friends had forgiven her far too easily, she thought. She'd said as much to Caroline and Bonnie, who'd both grown irritated and snapped her out of it.
"Please, Elena," Caroline had said, exasperated. "If anyone is too forgiving, it's you! If we really felt like we needed to be mad at you, we would be."
Bonnie agreed. "Caroline and I are experts at holding grudges. You could take a lesson from us," she added with an arch of an eyebrow.
"You were trying to keep everyone alive and safe and you figured out a way to do it," Caroline said. Then she smirked. "And you picked up a hot new boyfriend."
Bonnie sniggered and didn't even attempt to hide it.
Elena laughed with little mirth. "I just wonder if I've rushed into all of this," she mused. "Not the vampire thing, because that was the only out I could see, but everything with Elijah." She felt her stomach drop when she realized that she'd finally said it aloud. (And lied about the vampire thing.)
"He loves you," Bonnie said slowly. "I'm not exactly fond of him because he screwed you over during the ritual and because of what happened to Abby, but he does love you. The way he looks at you, it's like you're the most precious thing he's ever seen."
Elijah's betrayal during the Sun and Moon ritual was an old argument between her and Bonnie; one Elena didn't feel like getting into yet again. The Abby argument, however, was one that Elena had yet to stop feeling guilty for, no matter how many times Bonnie had told her she forgave her.
"I just... I went from being in love with Stefan, to having all these wild feelings for Damon, and now I'm suddenly in love with Elijah and planning to spend the rest of my life with him. Everything has happened so fast and sometimes I just wonder..." she trailed off.
"Do you want to leave him?" Caroline asked quietly.
"No!" Elena said, stricken at the very thought. "I just... I want to make sure that it's real. I need to know that it's not just because I saved his life or that he's helped me so much with this."
"So tell him," Bonnie insisted. "Tell him the two of you need to date a little bit. Not other people," she added, exasperated, when Elena's expression turned outraged. "Each other, get to know each other when you're not getting busy."
Elena smiled as she considered Bonnie's idea. It was appealing to her, though she worried that Elijah would find it childish or not worth his time. On the other hand, Elijah often surprised her...maybe he'd like the idea as well. "I think that could work," she said. She sighed. "I was kind of hoping my life would be simpler as a vampire, not more complicated."
Caroline laughed until tears streamed down her face. She quieted down, saw Elena's glare, and started laughing all over again. It was infectious, however, and Elena started to giggle.
"Oh," Caroline said, wiping her eyes. "Elena, that was hilarious."
"Yeah," Elena said. "Glad I could entertain you."
"Have you heard from Tyler?" Bonnie asked.
Caroline instantly sobered up. "Yes. He's on his way back; it's just slow going. He's a vampire now, but he doesn't have a daylight ring like Elena and me."
"Is he still worried about the sire bond?"
"No," Caroline said. "He's just trying to adjust to being one of us now. How are the others doing?" Her last question was directed at Elena.
Elena shrugged. "They still do whatever Klaus says, but it's more out of fear than anything. None of them seem too loyal, not like they used to be. I don't think the sire bond exists anymore."
"There's that at least. I can't wait to see him again. I wish I could come up with something special, for when he's finally here."
Elena and Caroline had discussed this several times before, but Bonnie looked interested. "Like what?"
Caroline shrugged. "I don't know, like a fancy place for us or some wild, romantic gesture. It feels like we've been apart forever." She sighed. "Why did Baz Luhrman not direct my life?"
"He was too busy trying to break our hearts," Elena said sympathetically.
"Okay," Caroline said determinedly after the waitress brought them all refills. "Enough of this dreary talk. We're on break and the holidays are coming up. Any plans?"
"We're all going to the Founders' Council Winter Gala," Elena said. "Rebekah said it will have to do until she can finally go to a real dance. I'm surprised the others even want to go, honestly. I didn't think Elijah and the others would celebrate holidays."
"What about Jeremy?"
Elena shook her head. "He said he's probably going to stay with Uncle Raymond and Aunt Amy in Denver. He really likes it there. Plus, it means he gets to skip out on all the boring Founders' stuff." Elena pouted.
"Oh, but you'll have so much fun!" Bonnie smirked. The older they all got, the more it all seemed so pointless. "Dad and I decided to visit Grandpa in Richmond. Then I'm going to spend a few days with Abby and Jamie."
"Mom and I are going to be spending quality family time together," Caroline said. "I actually convinced her not to wear her sheriff's uniform to the gala. And on Christmas, it's just going to be us, some hot chocolate, and a marathon of our favorite holiday movies.
"That sounds perfect," Elena said, happy she didn't sound as envious as she felt. Caroline was so lucky to have her mother.
Caroline nodded. "I'm actually really looking forward to it."
"Any other significant news?" Bonnie asked.
"Well, Klaus decided to throw a ball this spring. He and Rebekah have been working on the invitations," Elena said. She'd actually stood behind Klaus and Rebekah, watching over their shoulders as they wrote invite after invite in their fancy script, listening to their soft chatter in a language she didn't understand. "I'm guessing he doesn't want to be outdone by the Founders' Council."
Bonnie and Caroline laughed and the three of them chatted merrily about the upcoming events.
Surely they could celebrate the holidays and ring in the New Year without trouble?
()()()
TBC.