Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

It all started at a party.

It wasn't something he had done on purpose to meet him in particular, but seeing Intak from afar dancing with his friends, he couldn't help but see that moment as an opportunity to approach him. Keeho, his best friend standing next to him, noticed his distant look, and following his gaze, he gently nudged him with a mischievous smile.

“You should go and talk to him.”

It was a familiar conversation between them: Keeho would catch him looking at Intak, and would almost immediately start teasing him or pushing him to go to him. Shota, who had always been known for being more reserved than he showed, always refused while covering his face in embarrassment and slapping Keeho on the arm to get him to stop teasing him. It had been almost a year since the first time he confessed to his friend who his secret crush was, the reason for his sighs, and in none of the hundred times they had carried out that dynamic had he dared to go through with his friend's challenge.

For some reason — maybe the alcohol buzzing in his veins, or the fact that he had done well in his midterm that day, he wanted to do something different that night.

“You're right.”

“Ah?" Keeho turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow and an amused look. “Are you serious?”

“When aren’t I?”

His friend laughed softly as he lifted his drink to his lips and looked at him over the rim of the glass. Shota could see in his gaze that he didn't believe him and that only made his desire to go through with it grow.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Go ahead, I want to see it with my own eyes.”

Keeho pointed to the group in the distance. The sound of music enveloped the place, trembling against the walls while the lights and smoke made the venue as overwhelming as it was meant to be. People were colliding on the dance floor, some of them already making out with strangers, others about to, and a few comfortably dancing alone. It was Friday, which meant there were more people than any other day, so he would have to get through a sea of people before he could reach his target group a few feet away from him. Thinking about the smell emanating froma all the bodies and strangers' limbs bumping into his own made him reconsider the idea, but seeing Keeho's smart-ass grin, he knew he couldn't back out.

“You'll see.”

He started to walk out of his safe bubble near the bar and he tripped a couple of times before he could weave through the crowd. He felt several people tapping his shoulder to compliment him or flirt with him, but he ignored them all in favor of reaching his destination. With a grimace on his face, he began to remember why he had ended up there in the first place, being suffocated in a nightclub just to get to the man he liked.

The thing was, Intak wasn't just any man. It was almost a cliché for people in his faculty (and even on the outside) to feel some kind of interest towards Hwang Intak. No one could deny it: regardless of gender or orientation, everyone could agree that Intak was one of the most attractive men in the university. Shota would go so far as to say even of the city, Korea, the entire world, or even the universe, though he had to admit that the feelings he had harbored for him for almost three semesters did not help him to have an unbiased opinion.

Shota had been lucky enough to be on the same faculty as Intak, and had been able to meet and talk to him a couple of times in classes they shared. Intak was widely recognized and praised for his dancing talent and performances, which made him even harder to ignore: everyone who entered the school ended up knowing about him within a week of joining, and those who left couldn't forget him easily either.

Intak was only a semester ahead of him, which meant that there had been no shortage of opportunities for him to start a conversation. But Intak was intimidating, as beautiful, charismatic and talented people like him always were, which was why Shota had never had the courage to address him other than to complain about something unimportant for a few minutes.

The fact that Intak didn't seem to stray too far away from his group of friends didn't help to take away this halo of exclusivity that everyone attributed to him. Only Jiung was as famous as Intak among them, although Jiung was much more intimidating than him, which only made the situation more complicated. Shota knew his group of friends well, as at some point his obsession had once bordered on unhealthy, to the point of following them all on instagram. He was no longer that obsessed, but he could still name each of the five people in the group by name.

He finally reached the group after shaking a bit in a futile attempt to shake off the feeling of sweat from his body and took a long sigh before taking a decisive step towards the circle. Intak, Jiung, Jiho, Jungsu and Jongseob were standing at the front of another one of the club’s bars, discussing something that made them laugh as he saw Intak's eyes form crescent moons, and Shota couldn't help but stare at him in rapt attention for a few seconds. Perhaps too long, for when he came out of his stupor, those same eyes were looking at him curiously.

“Oh, Shota, right?”

Shota shook his head and offered his best smile, trying to look relaxed as his heart pounded vigorously in his chest.

“That's right, I'm sorry to interrupt.”

“No, it's okay," a voice said beside him, and when he turned his gaze he could recognize the owner. Kim Jongseob, one of Intak's closest friends, at least judging by the number of times they appeared in each other's stories. “We were just getting drunk.”

“Oh yeah, Shota, did you need something? Because I don't think Intak can help you in this state.” A voice he recognized as Jiung exclaimed as he extended an arm around Intak's shoulders. “Unless the help you need is for him to puke on your shoes.”

As if Jiung had predicted it, a second later he could see Intak grimace before doubling over and vomiting on the ground very close to where Shota was standing. Jiung's guess would have been perfect, if not for the fact that an arm at his side pulled him back just in time to save him and he turned to thank Jongseob with a smile.

“No! My reputation! My popularity! My image!" Intak cried dramatically, about to drop to his knees on the floor. Jiung managed to stop him, still with one arm around his shoulders and straightened him up again as much as he could.

“I told you you should eat something before you came.” A new voice joined in, and as he turned his head he recognized Jungsu .

“Leave me alone, Mom.”

“I think we should take him to the bathroom before…” The last boy, whom he recognized as Jiho, stopped his words as he jumped back as he saw Intak retching again and by some kind of miracle, the vomit ended up on the floor again, despite Jiung's proximity. It seemed that even drunk Intak knew to avoid causing him any inconvenience.

“I don't think that will be the last time," Jongseob remarked beside him, his hand still on Shota's arm as he looked at Intak in disgust.

Shota watched as Jiho and Jiung carried Intak towards another location, probably the bathroom, while murmuring words of support to him. Shota watched sadly as his chance to get closer to Intak slipped through his fingers and let out a sigh as he turned his gaze to the ground. He immediately regretted it and grimaced as he looked at the pool of alcohol on the black disco floor.

“That was…”

“Disgusting? Horrible? Embarrassing? Hard to watch?" Jungsu offered as he drank from his glass. Shota shrugged with an awkward smile and Jungsu let out a small laugh as he tapped his shoulder. “Don't worry, we've seen worse.”

“Like the time Intak tried to flirt with a tree?”

“Or with a lady in an old people's home....”

“Or with Jiung's father…”

“Wow.” Shota let out an airy laugh and lifted his arm to scratch behind his neck. He hadn't noticed that Jongseob was still holding him until he felt his hand fall from his arm. “You guys seem to have a lot of stories to tell.”

“You can't imagine, I could go on all night.” Jungsu dropped his hand from his shoulder and leaned back against the wall before looking up at him with a smile. “So you're Shota, huh? I've heard a lot of things about you.”

“Really?" Shota opened his eyes with excitement, and a thread of hope began to weave its way into his heart. “Like what?”

Jungsu looked down at his glass for a second before fixing his eyes on Jongseob. Shota couldn’t catch the latter's gesture before Jungsu began to shake his head with an amused smile.

“Nevermind, forget it.”

“Oh…”

“It's just that Jongseob is kind of your fan, maybe he should tell you.” Jungsu seemed barely able to hide his amusement as he took another drink, and Shota turned his gaze to the boy next to him, who had turned the other way with his hands hiding his face.

“My fan?”

“He's exaggerating!" Jongseob uncovered his face and Shota could see the growing blush on his face, the embarrassment evident in every part of his expression. “I've only seen all your covers and…”

“Oh? You... know about that?”

It wasn't every day someone knew about his TikTok dance channel. Shota believed that his fifty followers were just Keeho following him on different accounts, so it was a total surprise for him to meet a "fan" other than his brother or his parents (who didn't even bother to watch his videos).

“Yes, Intak showed them to me once.”

Something new stirred inside him when he heard that last sentence. Intak, The Hwang Intak had not only seen his videos, but had liked them enough to show them to his friends. He felt a mixture of pride and shyness, and it was then his turn to blush.

“Oh, I see.”

“Then Seob saw them a second time, and a third, and a fourth....”

“Shut up!”

“And a fifth…”

Before Jungsu could continue, Shota watched as Jongseob lunged at Jungsu while covering his mouth, his cheeks colored crimson as he pushed his friend against the wall. When they were done with their grappling, Shota cleared his throat. Once he had both of their attention, he smiled broadly before saying:

“I really appreciated your support, I never thought anyone would like those videos.”

“You're kidding?" Jongseob approached him with a big smile. “It's the best thing I've seen in years. And my two best friends are professional dancers too.”

“Oh, Jiung's not going to like hearing that.”

“Well, you're not going to tell him.” Jongseob gave Jungsu a sharp look and Jungsu just rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. “And neither is Shota, right?”

Jongseob's eyes looked at him big and bright, and only then did Shota allow himself to look at the boy in front of him. His cheeks were rounded, his blond hair combed back made him look oddly tender despite the nature of his style and the rest of his all-black clothing.

His lip curved to one side before he replied.

“How could I tell on my biggest fan?”

Shota couldn't react fast enough before Jongseob's hand fell on his chest as he pouted at him, and he let out a laugh as he covered his mouth with his hand.

“Stop it!” Shota laughed even louder, and this time he was joined by Jungsu, which made Jongseob cross his arms and look at them with narrowed eyes. “I'm going to unfollow you.”

“Oh no, is this my first scandal?”

"TikToker teases one of his fans and gets cancelled at a party" Jungsu recited while gesturing with his hands as if reading the title of a newspaper article.

"Haku Shota's latest scandal" Shota followed, his smile so big that it was starting to hurt at the corners of his mouth.

Jungsu and Shota began to laugh more and more, and Jongseob didn't last long in his annoyed stance before following them. They lasted like that for a few minutes, their laughter enhanced by the alcohol, until Jiho came back from the bathroom and looked at them quizzically.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Your face," Jungsu said with a straight face, or as straight as he could muster as he wiped the tears under his eyes.

“Ha ha.” Jiho slapped him gently on the shoulder before crossing his arms. His body position clearly showed how drunk he was, his posture staggering as he placed his arms in front of his chest. “Jiung and Intak left in a cab towards Jiung's house.”

“Great, now we just have to figure out how to get home ourselves.”

“Shota, from one to ten, how sober are you?" asked Jungsu while pointing at him with his index finger.

“Ahh, three?”

“Okay, we're lost, because Jongseob is at a two at the most, and I'm at a five. Jiho?”

“I don't know why you're asking, neither of us have a car to drive.”

“Okay…”

“You guys can stay at my place, if you want?" Shota proposed, a hint of doubt in his voice. He didn't know how he had gone from wanting to talk to his crush to offering his house to three other people, but it didn't seem too risky. “I live with Keeho about a block away from here, so....”

“Oh, my goodness.” Jiho leaned forward and caught Shota in his arms. “Our savior.”

“Why did you come back here?" Jungsu asked as he pulled Jiho off of him with a grimace. “You could have gone home with Jiung and Intak.”

“I needed to let you guys know what had happened.”

“A text or a phone call would have been enough?”

“I like the way you think, those are the thoughts of a wise man.”

“You hadn't thought about it, had you?”

“Or maybe I just wanted to see my beloved friends before going to sleep, hadn't you thought of that?”

Jungsu rolled his eyes and pushed him gently before motioning towards the door. They all started walking towards the exit through one of the less crowded places, and Shota texted Keeho to meet them at the door.

Keeho-hyung

I'm not going home today, sorry

By the way, I saw what happened

I'm so sorry, bro

Shota let out a sigh as he looked to the front, where he could see Jongseob trying to give Jiho a kiss on the cheek as Jiho pushed him away, all while they both struggled to walk to the exit without falling down.

Shota

It could have been worse

By the way, don't be surprised when you see three more people in the house tomorrow morning.

Keeho-hyung

??

Shota put his cell phone in the back pocket of his pants once he felt the chill of the night caress his face. He reached out his arm to guide one of the boys in the trio without him falling into the door and once they were both outside, he began to lead the group to take them home.

“Hey, why did you decide to come to us today?”

Jongseob's voice made him look to his side, the same big, bright eyes from before looking at him curiously. Shota shrugged, as he thought of an excuse other than "I wanted to see if I had the courage to talk to the man of my dreams once and for all."

“I don't know, you looked like you were having fun.”

“Really?" Jongseob looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and a look full of disbelief. “One ball of anxiety, three rude boys, four if you count Intak, what could be fun about that?”

“I don't know, it's kind of charming," he replied with a smile and Jongseob laughed beside him without saying anything else.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. In the background they could hear a fight between Jungsu and Jiho that didn't seem serious at all, and Shota noticed at that moment that he had enjoyed his stay in the group, short as it had been, beyond his crush on Intak. It seemed more heightened by the fact that the latter had only been with them for five seconds before leaving.

Shota sensed a nervous energy coming from Jongseob, as if he wanted to say something, though he didn't mention it until Jongseob decided to speak.

“You should come have lunch with us tomorrow.”

Shota could see the apartment complex where he lived with Keeho in the distance, which distracted him momentarily before he responded. He turned to look at Jongseob processing his words and watched him with eyes full of surprise, but more importantly, hope. He thought of Intak, as beautiful as ever, and imagined for a moment what it would be like to be close to him, to be his friend, and if he was lucky enough, to be something more.

“Can I?" he tried to hide the effect the proposal had had on him, though his eagerness was evident in his voice.

“Of course you can," Jongseob laughed as a bright smile filled his face. “You don't even have to ask.”

Shota smiled back, and a few steps from the door, the hope that had left him when Intak abandoned the circle returned, settling back into his heart.

“We’re here.” Shota couldn’t contain his excitement, one that perhaps the others would not fully understand as he typed his key into the gate. “Welcome to my home.”

It had been two days since Friday's party and Shota could still feel a painful vibration behind his eyes, as if something was hitting him with a hammer every second he had them open. After inviting Intak's friends home, it only took one of them suggesting to keep drinking instead of sleeping for someone to order a pack of beers. "Someone," because he really didn't remember who he gave his phone to or the security number of his card, and maybe Shota was too lucky not to have woken up the next morning to an empty account.

Instead he woke up in his room with three bodies hugging him and an excruciating pain in his temple. Although he struggled to get up, when he was finally able to do so the three helped him organize the mess they had made in the midst of their intoxication and left near the end of the afternoon. Keeho for his part didn't get home until late in the evening to tell him about his adventures with one of the bartenders and the reason he had arrived so late. It wasn't until two hours later that he asked Shota where the three other people he promised would be there were, and Shota just smiled as he shook his head.

Before the three left, they exchanged phone numbers, and at lunchtime on Monday, Jongseob reminded Shota of his invitation.

Kim Jongseob

Hello!!

We'll be in the dining hall, in the corner by the window, if you want to come over.

Shota

Ok, I'll be there

Shota didn't really need a reminder of where they were going to be. Not because he was obsessed with Intak, but because he too ate lunch every day in the dining hall, and he could see them from afar come in and sit at any of the free tables in the place. Although it was far from small, it would not have been difficult for him to spot Intak and his friends in the crowd.

With a smile, he let his friends know where he was going as he walked towards his destination.

Canadian-Japanese Household (And Taeyang)

Shota

Hello

I'm going to have lunch with Intak's group of friends today

Keeho-hyung

Wow, you're finally doing something

Taeyang-hyung

I'm happy for you

Go get your man

Keeho-hyung

I just hope you won't leave us behind

:(

Shota

I could never

He put his phone in his pocket with a smile and walked the last few steps toward the table where the same people from Friday were waiting for him. Except for one, whose absence was hard to miss.

"Shota," Jongseob announced when he saw him approaching, and the rest of the eyes at the table turned to him. "Hi. I'm glad you came."

"It would have been rude of me not to," he replied as he sat down next to him.

"You mean you're here because of social pressure?"

"Uh, no, no...."

"It's okay," commented Jungsu , sitting in front of him. "You can tell the truth, we won't judge you."

"In that case..." Shota pretended to think for a moment. "I'm only here because I didn't want to disappoint my number one fan."

He watched with amusement as Jongseob hid his face in his hands while letting out a slight groan. His eyes traveled around the group members, noticing Intak's absence again. He couldn't deny that he felt a slight disappointment, and a question danced on his tongue as he heard in the background the others tease Jongseob about his reaction.

"By the way, I'm surprised you have so few followers, really."

Shota awoke from his moment of distraction and looked at Jiho, who was on Jongseob's right side, as he tilted his head to the side.

"Why?"

"From what I've seen you're quite popular."

"Ah, I wouldn't say popular" He smiled shyly as he scratched the back of his neck.

"You have 4000 followers on instagram" Jiho remarked while looking at him with narrowed eyes.

"Well, I haven't really promoted my dance account there much."

"You should, the world deserves to see it." Jongseob watched him with a smile as he touched his arm gently.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet." He looked down for a second, as he thought about the reasons why he had decided to leave his account as something more private. He had even taken the time to make up a username where he couldn't be identified, a mix of numbers and letters, with a different name and he wore a mask and a cap in most of his videos.

The truth was that although he had already had the opportunity to present himself in front of an audience, he felt that promoting himself on the internet was a different kind of audience that he didn't know if he was ready to expose himself to.

He had a slight fear that they would insist on it and he would have to explain himself, but his fears were assuaged when he heard a voice continue:

"I get it." Jiung looked at him from across the table with his head resting on his hand, a soft smile on his face. “It's one thing to have a big audience for something as innocent as a photo to something you care a lot about.”

"Exactly." Shota blurted out, almost in a sigh of relief as his lips curved upward.

"What I don't understand is how the algorithm didn't launch you to fame after Jongseob gave you ten thousand views…" Jungsu closed his eyes as what appeared to be a balled up napkin touched his forehead. "Ouch!"

After that the conversation came up easily between them, just like the first time. They started talking about what happened Friday night after leaving the party, about how Jiung had ended up taking Intak home and helping him lie down on the couch despite his own state of intoxication.

"I don't remember much after we drank the bottles of soju Shota had in his fridge" Jungsu pointed out with a smile and Shota tilted his head in confusion.

The fact that he didn't remember drinking soju at home that night should have been warning enough of how much he had drunk and was a plausible explanation as to why the vestiges of his hangover had lingered even two days later.

"I'm never going to drink alcohol again," he promised in a solemn tone as he placed a hand on his chest.

"That's what they all say," Jiung said with a smile, as if he had first-hand experience with the subject. He probably did.

"But it was fun, right?"

Shota turned to look at Jongseob upon hearing his voice and he looked at him for a long second before answering. His hopeful eyes gave him an expectant look, and suddenly all memories of throbbing pain and hangovers faded into the background, and were replaced by memories of wide smiles and laughter, of the seeds of a new friendship being sown in his life.

"It was," he said, and he meant it. "I guess it was worth the headache."

Shota gave him a slight smile, which was answered with an even bigger one from Jongseob, and he couldn't help but return it, the enthusiasm coming from him almost contagious.

Shota could feel that same vibrant energy at his side for the rest of the lunch. There was a certain kind of air in the atmosphere as they talked, the rest of the guys including Shota as if he had always been a part of them. That welcoming air, the easy smiles and uncomplicated words made him completely forget why he was there in the first place.

As they shared more of their drinking stories, particularly one about Jongseob leaving his groceries at the convenience store until the next morning even after paying, an all-too-familiar figure appeared at his side.

"Why are you making fun of Jongseob...?"

"Ah, my savior, I knew I could count on you...."

"...without me?"

Shota was too busy trying to calm his heart to notice Jongseob's reaction next to him and he did his best not to stare at Intak for too long. The last thing he wanted was to scare him away by staring, so he tried to turn his eyes to his now empty tray as he noticed Intak sitting across from him out of the corner of his eye. He was wearing a white shirt and loose sweatpants, and despite the simplicity of his outfit, he looked just as stunning as ever.

"We wouldn't have to tease him without you if you actually came in time,” Jiung looked at Intak with narrowed eyes from across the table, his voice full of fake anger accompanied by a lopsided smile.

"Well, I had to stay and fix some things in the choreography."

"You're such a workaholic, it's so unhealthy," Jiung retorted.

"Look who's talking."

"At least I do come to lunch." Jiung stuck his tongue out at him in a childish gesture, and Intak let out a snort.

"What do you want, a prize?" He stuck out his tongue in imitation of Jiung's previous expression, and the latter looked at him with a glare before speaking.

"Ah, I see you don't want to live much longer."

Intak raised his hands in a defensive gesture as he turned his face and pulled his body back. He seemed on the verge of saying something, but stopped as soon as his eyes met Shota's.

In that instant it was almost as if time stood still and Shota held his breath in the short seconds he waited for the boy in front of him to speak.

"Shota?" Intak widened his eyes in surprise as he lowered his hands and the corners of his lips turned up in the beginnings of a smile. "I didn't see you there."

"I invited him to sit with us." Jongseob interjected, and Shota was grateful for the gesture because all he could do at that moment was blink, his mind too dazed to find words to speak. "It was the least I could do after you almost threw up on his shoes."

"Oh, God. " Intak's smile faded in a second and he squeezed his eyes shut before covering his face with his hands. " I forgot about that. So embarrassing."

"You're lucky I was there to prevent it," Jongseob commented, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Intak stood up suddenly, which caused Shota to startle a little, before looking up in surprise as Intak bowed at him. Just as quickly as he stood up he sat back down, his head lowered as he closed his eyes in a gesture of embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry"

Shota wasn't sure if it was real or he was being overdramatic for the sake of a joke, but he was quick to reply as he waved a hand in front of him.

"No, it's okay. You don't have to apologize. I wish you could have stayed longer, though."

"Oh, no, bad idea." Jiung commented as he let out a light airy laugh. "You know what they say: third time's the charm."

Intak came out of his regretful role to look at Jiung with a frown for a few seconds before turning to Shota with a smile.

"I'm sorry I wasn't in my five senses." He apologized again as he put his hands on the table. "Did you need something from me that day?

He looked at him for a few seconds, as his mind traveled back to three days ago, when the alcohol had spread through his veins, when the small victories of that day had given him the dose of dopamine and the courage he needed to say so many things that at that moment he wouldn't dare begin to utter:

You are beautiful.

Do you want to go out with me someday?

Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?

But sitting in the cafeteria on a Monday afternoon, his mind sober and his list of positives blank again, he simply said:"Nothing in particular, just wanted to talk a bit and socialize."

"Oh, well, in that case." Intak pulled his phone out of his pocket. "You should give me your number."

He blinked for a few seconds as his hand moved automatically to take the object extended to him. His mind was still trying to process what was going on as he looked down to observe the numbers on the screen.

"I had thought about asking for it a long time ago, actually." Intak continued, completely oblivious to Shota's puzzled face or how he kept looking at the device in his hand as if he had never seen one in his life. "I guess the opportunity never came up."

Intak's every word made his mind freeze more. He didn't know how he was able to snap out of his stupor to type his phone number and hand it over again, and he couldn't stop the smile he had on his face as he did so.

He couldn't believe all the lucky hits he'd had those days, and maybe there was a slight hope inside him that it was because it was meant to be.

"Oh, that reminds me, do you want to be added to our group chat?" Jongseob's voice brought him back to reality and he considered the question for a second before nodding without dropping the smile from his face.

While Intak's dazzling light and his intense crush on him had driven him to talk to the rest of the group, he couldn't deny that he enjoyed the company and conversation with all of them. Despite knowing them for only a short time, he could already tell that having met them had been a welcome addition to his life.

After a few seconds, he could feel his phone vibrate on the table, and his heart did a somersault when he saw the picture of the person who had texted him.

Unknown number

Hello!!! It's Intak

As if he didn't know already.

"Well, I know I was here for two seconds, but I have to go." Intak started to get up from his place, and Shota raised his head. He opened his eyes in surprise when he saw Intak's index finger pointing at him. "You're on that 'Physics for dummies' class, right?

"Ah, yes."

'Physics for dummies' had been his elective that semester, recommended by everyone since he entered. Shota couldn't help but be surprised that Intak had even noticed his presence. Since the first day they hadn't spoken a word to each other despite being in the same class, the main reason being that Intak usually took the back rows and Shota the front rows.

"I heard that Professor Lee tends to leave a final paper in pairs." Intak dropped his hand and put it in his pocket in a casual pose. "There's still a long way to go, but do you want to do it together?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." The nervousness in his voice was evident, and he prayed to heaven that no one else at the table had noticed. He brought his hand to the back of his neck with a coy smile.

"Great! I'll see you tomorrow then."

Shota watched as Intak walked away and turned his attention back to the group as soon as he was out of sight. They talked for a while longer, and his thoughts wandered as he replayed the events of that day over and over again. Anyone paying close attention would have seen a subtle smile creep across his face, one that didn't leave him once they got up from the table to go to the rest of their day's classes. Nor did the butterflies in his stomach and the soft drumming in his chest leave him as he let himself hold a new hope between his fingers.

The next morning, as he walked to the coffee shop, Shota could still feel in his body the rush of energy that his interactions with Intak and his group of friends had given him the day before. He had talked to them for almost an hour after being added to the group chat and had even agreed to meet Intak on Thursday to go to the elective course they took together.

In the conversation he had learned several things about the group, facts that although basic made him feel a little closer to them. He found out that Jiho and Jongseob were studying Korean Language and Literature, Jungsu was studying Music, and although he already knew that Jiung was in his last semesters, he found out that he was only one semester away from graduating.

As soon as he walked through the glass doors, he went to the automatic coffee machine, inserted the coins that he carried in his pocket and pressed the buttons to order the vanilla cappuccino with extra sugar he always had. However, after a minute of waiting for something to happen, he noticed that the machine was unresponsive and frowned as he leaned over slightly to examine the machine as if he could figure out what the problem was that way.

"What's wrong with this thing?"

He threw the question into the air, not waiting for an answer as he squinted in concentration. He contemplated hitting the machine for a second to see if it would start working, but a voice next to him interrupted his train of thought.

"Oh, it's been like this since yesterday, you have to…"

He straightened up immediately and jumped back as he put a hand on his chest. He took a deep breath as he watched the owner of the voice and almost let out a sigh of relief as he saw Jongseob looking at him sheepishly with a small apologetic smile.

"Oh, hello." His voice came out in a breath and he went back to where he was before. "I didn't see you there."

"Hi." Jongseob gave him a broad smile as he pressed the buttons on the machine. "I'm sorry, I should have said something earlier. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay." He smiled back at him. "I like to start the day that way. You know, wake up the nervous system and stuff."

"Oh, then, I guess I should do it more often."

Jongseob kept pushing buttons on the machine before it finally started doing its job, and once it was done Jongseob handed it over with a little 'Ta-da!'

"Thank you, you're my savior." He took the cup in his hands before they both started walking towards the exit. Shota noticed that Jongseob already had his own iced coffee in his hands. "Are you going to class?"

"Oh, I don't have class until ten, but I was going to go to the library to study. And you?"

"I have Dance Physiology." He let out an exasperated grunt before taking one long sip from his coffee and Jongseob looked at him with his head bowed.

"Oh, Intak took that class last semester. Did you fail it?"

"Ah, no. We're actually two years apart."

"2005, right? What month?"

"November"

"Oh, I'm from February that same year. What a coincidence! What hospital were you born in?"

"That's a… weird question." Shota laughed as he shrugged. "I don't know. One in Saitama?"

"Oh, yes, you're from Japan, right?"

A shy smile crept across his face and the comment filled him with pride. Although on the surface it didn't seem to mean much, there was a time in the past when it was hard for others to ignore his foreign background because of his accent and his initial difficulty with the language. It was one of his biggest difficulties when he first arrived in Korea, and although he still had a lot to learn, he was happy with all the progress he had made.

He finished his coffee in one gulp and tossed into a nearby trashcan before responding.

"I was going to question how you knew that," he looked at Jongseob with an amused smile, "but I guess you should know that since you're my biggest fan."

Jongseob raised his eyebrows for a moment as he processed his words and then looked at him with a pout as he slapped his shoulder, his cheeks now painted a light crimson.

"Don't tease me about that."

Jongseob scowled at him in an attempt to look serious as Shota laughed, but his lips pursed forward only made him look adorable. Shota couldn't resist the temptation to reach out and grab his cheek as he expressed that to him and the color in Jongseob's cheeks intensified as he swatted his hand away.

"Seriously speaking," he said once he was able to stop laughing, "I'm really glad you like my videos."

Jongseob softened his expression and looked at him with a broad smile as he drew his hands to his back.

"How could I not like them? When Intak first showed them to me, it's like I saw the light for the first time."

Shota smiled at the mention of Intak and couldn't help but think about how he had been able to find his account despite his attempts to hide his identity. Months ago he would never have expected to even have his attention, but in those few days his hope had reached unthinkable levels and he started to feel on cloud nine after knowing that maybe he had more chances than he thought.

"Thanks anyway." Shota offered a sincere smile. "And thank you for keeping it a secret, too."

Jongseob snorted as he shook his head. He turned to him as his face lit up.

"Well, it's not like there's a lot of people I can tell."

Shota opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by the sound of his alarm in his pocket. The same one he had set ten minutes before class in case he got distracted to avoid being late.

"I have to go." He put his phone in his pocket and could almost feel his heart pounding in anticipation of having to run to the classroom to get there on time. "See you later?"

Shota didn't wait for an answer before he started running. The arts building was ten minutes away from the coffee shop, and at a brisk pace he made it just in time before the auditorium door closed. He found a seat near the door and waved to some of his classmates as he cooled down from his run.

As soon as the professor began to speak he did his best to pay attention to the class, one of the most difficult of his career as it focused much more on science than any other subject on the syllabus. However, bits and pieces of the subject were lost amidst thoughts of a long-haired boy sitting in that same auditorium, in that same class six months ago. His mind traveled in spirals, thinking of possible scenarios he had never allowed himself to indulge in for fear of getting too carried away and having his hopes grow like ivy in his heart. But now he felt that he had been granted permission, like a door of his imagination that had suddenly been opened. He thought of Intak, the boy he had put on a pedestal finding his video account and proudly sharing it with his friends, and suddenly felt that if he tried he could almost touch the leaves of hope and feel them grow between his fingers.

That same day he headed to the cafeteria with hope still throbbing in his chest. He sat next to Jongseob just like the day before, and listened to the rest of the group talk, while Jongseob cracked jokes every five seconds as if he were a comedian and not a normal college student. Everything was going perfectly, the same sense of peace and comfort he had felt in the group in the two days he had interacted with them, but there was something missing: Intak. Ever since he had arrived at the table he had noticed his absence, and the more time passed the more he realized that he probably wouldn't show up. Disappointment started to form a void in his chest and this feeling only settled further when Jiung asked about it in the group chat.

3 idiots + Jiho + Shota

Jiung-hyung

Intak, are you coming or what?

Intak

Don't wait for me

I'm sorry, I'm still in practice.

[Photo attached]

Shota was taking a sip of his drink when the picture finished downloading and he felt the liquid go down his windpipe before he started coughing into his elbow. In the picture Intak could be seen posing with his hand in a peace sign, while beads of sweat fell from his forehead and his black hair fell in a curtain over his eyes.

Once he was able to calm down, he fanned his face with his hand to soothe the sudden heat as he read the rest of the messages.

Jiung-hyung

Ew, I didn't need to see you sweating

I'm eating

Jongseob

Have some respect, there's a child here

"I'm literally older than you," Jiho interjected out loud.

"Exactly what I mean." Jongseob raised his hand to pat him on the head as Jiho looked at him with a grimace "You're just a baby."

Jiung-hyung

Shota almost choked because of you

You could have killed someone today

Shota raised his head and looked around, slightly panicked while still feeling the heat on his cheeks. The last thing he wanted was for the group to discover his crush on Intak and start teasing him for it, but everyone else seemed to have missed the meaning behind his reaction. He dropped his shoulders in relief and turned his attention back to the conversation, which seemed to have already strayed for another topic.

"I'll offer you half the rent if you let Jongseob stay in your apartment this semester so I can have the room to myself." Jiho wore a serious look as he faced Jiung across the table. Jongseob on the other hand gawked at him with an offended expression.

"I thought we had something special!"

"I don't think money is the problem here" Jiung ignored Jongseob's words as he looked up as if considering the offer. "I'd let him stay in my apartment for free, but I highly doubt that he'd be very happy to ride the subway for half an hour to come to class."

"It's true." Jungsu nodded. "Jongseob would rather sleep on the floor at the campus entrance than take public transportation every day."

Jiho let out a dramatic sigh as Jongseob let out a satisfied smile. Jiho now turned his gaze towards Jungsu, an unspoken plea in his eyes.

"You don't want to change roommates?"

"I would rather sleep on the street than be his roommate."

"Hey! I'm not that bad, I bet I'm better than Intak."

"That's like putting standards on the floor, and no, I don't think you're better than him, actually."

Jiho let out an even more exaggerated sigh and Shota couldn't help but laugh at the situation, which made Jiho turn his attention towards him.

"What about you? I saw that there were three rooms where you live."

Shota shook his head before he even finished the sentence.

"That's Keeho's studio, he's my roommate-"

"Jongseob could sleep on the couch, he can sleep anywhere, I swear. After all, he has to sleep in his part of the room every day."

"Okay, stop already." Jongseob slammed the table as he put on a serious expression. Except it was the same expression he had made towards Shota that morning and it had the opposite effect than expected, with Jungsu and Jiung laughing at him. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Jongseob leaned forward with his arms outstretched towards Jiho in what appeared to be a hug, but just before he could wrap his arms around him, Jiho stood up quickly and made his way to the other side of the table, causing Jongseob to fall face first onto the seat.

"Jiho, don't reject my love."

Jiho looked at him in disgust as he put his arms in a cross position in front of his face, his hands clasped in a defensive position. Shota thought for a moment that Jongseob was going to give up and leave the subject there, but seconds later he saw him rise from his place and in the blink of an eye they were both running around the table as Jongseob chased Jiho with his arms outstretched.

They lasted like that for a few minutes, while Shota watched the situation with amusement, Jiung recording everything on his phone, and Jungsu making Jongseob trip over his foot several times as he ran. At that moment he completely forgot the void in his chest, the disappointment of Intak's absence left somewhere in the back of his mind.

Shota noticed over the next two weeks that Intak's absence seemed to be the rule rather than the exception. In that time, he had only seen him at lunch twice a week, and on those few occasions, he would show up near the end and leave as soon as he finished eating. The idea that Intak was a workaholic was becoming more real as the days went by, and the two times he had spoken to him on Thursdays on the way to his elective seemed to confirm it, with Intak talking about the final essay or their next assignment as if they didn't have a ton of time before the deadline, while Shota was dying to form a real connection in the short time he had with him.

His hope seemed to waver each day and frustration eventually settled in his chest after three failed attempts to talk by message with him. It seemed that any path he took to get closer to him led to failure, and the wall he thought he had managed to start tearing down between the two of them seemed to only grow and grow.

However, it had not all been negative. Over those fifteen days, he had become closer to Intak's group of friends, who always welcomed him with open arms, particularly Jongseob, who seemed more than happy to reply to all the messages, videos and memes Shota sent to the group chat. Soon they started talking through direct messages only and Jongseob began to become a constant presence in his day to day life despite the few days they had known each other.

Shota felt like he saw him everywhere: in the mornings when he went to get his coffee, at lunch with the rest of the group, at his building when Jongseob insisted on visiting him after class, and at night when they both agreed to meet at the vending machine outside the library to take a break from their respective studies. Over the course of those days, he felt he had collected over 500 messages with him, many more than he had shared in total in the group chat he had with Taeyang and Keeho in the year he'd known them.

On one occasion Keeho mistook his laughter for something Jongseob had sent him as progress in his relationship with Intak, but Shota was quick to correct him.

"It's just Jongseob."

"Jongseob?"

"Intak's friend."

Keeho just gave him a strange look in response, which Shota ignored to pay attention to another message that he read immediately with a smile.

By the end of the second week, he had almost forgotten that Intak was part of the group in the first place, so when the latter arrived early on Friday with a grin on his face, he looked at him with surprise and anticipation, and maybe a little bit of love, if someone looked closely, but Shota liked to think he was more subtle than that.

"Well, well, to what do we owe this miracle?" Jiung commented with a smirk, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"My classmates dragged me out of the practice room." Intak was still smiling despite his words and Shota raised an eyebrow in interest. "They also tried to bribe me to free up the four hours I have reserved for the weekend."

"So? What did they bribe you with?"

"They told me they were going to buy me food at an expensive restaurant."

"Really? Did they need it that badly?"

"That's not the best part. I told them I didn't want to go alone, so they offered me two, and well, long story short," Intak reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone to show something on the screen. "We're all going! For free!"

Everyone at the table leaned forward and could see the receipt that read "table for six reservation" next to the name of one of the most expensive restaurants in town. Shota blinked in surprise for a few seconds as he read the words over and over again, and he felt something warm in his chest as he confirmed that Intak had considered him as part of the group.

"Wow, I've heard of that restaurant and it's not cheap at all," Jiho commented, surprise evident on his face.

"Are your classmates single by any chance?" asked Jongseob next to him and Intak rolled his eyes at his question.

"They are, but the money probably won't even be theirs. Mommy and Daddy's money."

"Do you know if their parents are still together or looking for a partner?"

Intak turned off his phone screen with a snort before putting it back in his pocket and Jongseob gave him an innocent smile as he leaned back in his seat.

"When is the reservation?" Jungsu asked as Intak took a seat next to Jiung.

"The closest date available was Saturday in three weeks."

"And how do you know I'm free on that day?" Jiung looked at him with a raised eyebrow, one corner of his lips turned up in a playful smile.

"I know you all and I know you have nothing better to do." Intak narrowed his eyes as he raised his head defiantly and when he turned his head his eyes met Shota's. "Oh, Shota, I didn't ask you, sorry. You can go, right?"

Shota felt his cheeks flush at Intak's sudden attention on him and at his change of expression, his features relaxing into a sweet smile that made his insides flutter with intensity.

"Of course I'll come," he affirmed softly and couldn't take his eyes off Intak as his face lit up. He paid attention to every little movement and lowered his head in embarrassment as he sensed that perhaps he wasn't being as subtle as he wanted to.

"Great!"

The conversation changed its course after that and Shota noticed that Intak's presence at the table from the beginning didn't change the dynamic too much, other than multiplying the threats on Jiung's part and turning Shota's face several shades of red every time he addressed him or looked in his direction. Intak integrated into the group so well that it almost didn't seem like he was absent most of the time, and Shota wondered if maybe in the future he could incorporate himself into his life like that despite all his failed attempts; if he could one day come in and make room for himself in his busy schedule and his heart.

That night, in the solitude of his room, he reflected further on the restaurant invitation. After days and days of not being able to see him, he felt the universe was presenting him with an opportunity he could not pass up. Just because there were four other people didn't mean he couldn't use the occasion to impress him and perhaps, at the end of the day, ask him to go out with him. The very idea filled him with overwhelming anxiety, and yet, he couldn't help but smile as he imagined a reality where Intak said yes.

Things didn't change much over the next week: Intak was still as elusive as ever, and his friendship with the rest of the group grew stronger and stronger. Shota was happy to be able to develop a connection with people his own age, for as much as Taeyang and Keeho made every effort to make him feel included, he always felt there was a level of distance between them.

Despite his distance, his longing to get closer to Intak hadn't waned and he often found himself anxiously waiting for him to show up with the same anticipation as the first day. Perhaps it was his illusions that made him think that Intak might no longer answer with the same monosyllables or suddenly stopped answering the same as before, or that he might smile at him in the hallway more often.

Meanwhile, Jongseob continued to sneak into his life, sending his messages and visiting more and more frequently. The more time they spent together, the more comfortable he became with him, and he could almost say that he looked forward to their encounters almost as much as he looked forward to crossing paths with Intak, albeit with different intentions.

Jongseob

Hello

Are you going to stay for practice today?

Shota

I don't think so, I'm a bit tired

Why? Are you coming?

Jongseob

Yes

I'm on my way

A smile broke out on his face as he read the message on his way to the entrance of his building. He had just gotten out of his last class of the day and he was exhausted, but the thought of being able to meet with Jongseob was enough for him to regain some of the energy he had lost.

Once outside, he noticed a familiar figure sitting on one of the benches outside. Jongseob seemed lost in another world as he typed something on his phone and Shota quietly approached with a mischievous smile.

"Boo" he whispered as he leaned down to reach his ear. Jongseob jumped from his spot and fell to the ground, his phone held tightly in one of his hands against his chest.

"Don't do that!" Jongseob exclaimed as he caught his breath and Shota kept laughing at his expense. "I could have died."

"Sorry." Shota managed to say between chuckles, which didn't help his response sound genuine. "Let me help you."

Shota walked around the bench and he extended his hand to help him up. However, when Jongseob's fingers reached him, he took the opportunity to try to pull him to the floor; a fruitless attempt, as Shota was much stronger than he looked. After a few seconds' struggle, Jongseob decided to give up and accept the help with a sigh.

"I'll get you someday."

"Sure you will," Shota raised his hand to give him a light pinch on the cheek. No matter how many times he did it, he could never get over the way Jongseob's skin was painted red when he did it and how cute he looked after he did it. "I must admit, your commitment to not dropping your phone is admirable."

"Ah, well..." Jongseob let out a nervous laugh as he hid his phone behind his back, and Shota looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I can't afford to buy another one in this economy, can I?"

"I guess..." Shota looked at him with narrowed eyes and Jongseob gave him a sheepish smile back, which only made his suspicion grow more "Are you hiding something?"

"Nope." Jongseob put his phone away in his pocket and intertwined one of his arms with Shota's "How did your classes go?"

Although he was curious to know what Jongseob was hiding from him, he decided to ignore it and indulge him in his attempt to change the subject.

"Fine, same as always." He let out a sigh as he lifted his shoulders. "I love my career, but I can't wait for the semester to be over."

"Who can't? The only person who would maybe want it to last forever is Intak, and I bet even he's counting down the days."

The mention of Intak brought to mind a question that had been swirling around in his head for a while.

"Sorry if I sound nosy, but how did you all end up together in the same group? You seem so different."

"Oh, you don't sound nosy. It's an interesting story, actually, but can we sit down first?"

Shota nodded as he noticed they were near a coffee shop. They both sat down at one of the tables outside and Jongseob ordered an Iced Americano.

"Where do I start?" He leaned his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his palm as he started. "As for Intak and Jungsu , the three of us were in the same school together, same year. Intak entered a little later in the school year, and let's just say we didn't get off on the best foot. At some point I called him my enemy."

"Sounds interesting."

"It is, looking back. In fact, at the time, I really liked Jungsu , but I had never been able to get very close to him. But when Intak came along, he managed to befriend him without any effort."

"Oh, the plot thickens."

Jongseob laughed softly as a bright smile encompassed his face. Something strange stirred within him at the gesture and a similar expression was mirrored on his own face.

"The point is, I chalked it up to pretty privilege and hated him all year because of that."

"And then?"

"It almost sounds like a cliché, but we had to do a class assignment and from then on we became inseparable."

"And lived happily ever after."

"But is platonic."

"What about the others?"

"I met Jiung in an art elective I took the first semester and Jiho is Intak's lifelong neighbor. When they started studying at the same place, he fit right in with the group."

Shota nodded and they were silent for a few seconds before Jongseob spoke again.

"What about you?"

"Me?" Shota raised his eyebrows in surprise at the question.

"Yeah... I hope this doesn't sound offensive, but you do have more friends, right?"

"Ah, of course I do." He tilted his head to the side as he lifted the corner of his lips. "I'm a little disappointed by the question, actually."

"W-why?" Jongseob's eyes widened, panic evident on his face.

"Shouldn't you know by now?"

His expression morphed into one of confusion for a few seconds before he snorted as he lowered his head, his face colored with blush.

"Ah, because I'm your biggest fan?" he guessed as he tapped his finger on the table in an attempt to look nonchalant. "I'm actually rethinking my fanship."

"Oh? Why?"

"I don't know, you guys tease me too much about it. Plus it's been a long time since you've uploaded a video."

Shota scanned his face for signs that he was serious, but was reassured when he only saw a soft smile and an amused glint in his eye.

"Ah, I haven't had the time these days. I do have some ideas in mind, though."

"Can't wait to see them, then." Jongseob offered him a smile again, and even though it was the same as all the others, it felt somehow different. "Back to the topic. So... You do have more friends?"

"Plenty, if you must know. Not all of them study here. Keeho and Taeyang are the ones I talk to the most, though."

The story of their friendship didn't hold too much mystery and perhaps that's why he didn't feel inclined to explain it in much detail. He had met Keeho when he first came to Korea at some socializing group for international students and Taeyang was friends with him from the music major. Keeho was pursuing a master's degree at the university and he already had a stable job so it was easy for him to offer one of the rooms to Shota.

"You're very lucky. Rent in the dorms is not cheap at all. I've been considering moving into one of those shoebox-sized rooms."

"You'd fit right in then."

"Ha, ha. Look who's talking, the giant man himself."

They both laughed and Shota found himself staring at Jongseob for a few seconds, the way his eyes closed softly as he laughed, a gesture of happiness that stretched without bounds.

For a moment he thought about the friendship he had forged with him in such a short time, and though he knew it was too soon and that he shouldn't rush, in his heart he wished they could be together for a long time.

It had been two weeks since Intak had come to the dining table to tell them excitedly that someone had bribed him to give up his space at the practice room. It wasn't that he'd forgotten; he had even put a reminder on his calendar, but after he'd decided to confess that day, he came to the conclusion that his best option was not to think too much about it until the time came.

He had managed to act normal around Intak and talk a couple more times with him over the course of those days, but now that time was running out, he couldn't help but be filled with doubts and fears about his reaction. Intak had been nothing but kind towards him, despite his elusiveness, but the fear of rejection that he hadn't felt before seemed to begin to settle in his mind and manifest itself as a weight in the pit of his stomach whenever he was near him.

At some point he had contemplated telling Jongseob about his crush so he could ask for his help, but he dismissed the idea after analyzing that the fewer people that knew, the less disappointment there would be if he were to be rejected.

With that in mind, he decided to write to the only people who could extend a helping hand in his situation.

Canadian-Japanese Household (And Taeyang)

Shota

Hello

Taeyang-hyung

Ah, look who decided to grace us with his presence

The prodigal son is back

Keeho-hyung

The children missed you

Shota

We see each other every day

Taeyang-hyung

You see him every day

But with me it's not as much as it used to be

I feel displaced, replaced, hurt

Where's the love you swore to me when we first met?

Keeho-hyung

Do your new friends treat you better?

Shota

I'm sorry

But sometimes I need to hang out with people my own age

Taeyang-hyung

Now he's calling us old

When will the pain end?

Shota

On a serious note

I wanted to talk to you about something

Taeyang-hyung

I'm all ears

Keeho-hyung

Or all eyes since you're going to read it, not hear it

Taeyang-hyung

Stop it

Shota

As you know, the main reason why I have new friends is because I wanted to get closer to Intak

Taeyang-hyung

Have you succeeded?

Shota

Not as much as I'd like

Taeyang-hyung

Has this abandonment been for nothing, then?

Shota

Well, actually I've been getting along really well with the group, so it hasn't been for nothing

But we're going out to eat at an expensive restaurant the other week and I wanted to take the opportunity to ask Intak out

Taeyang

Yesss

Keeho-hyung

Finally

God has heard my pleas

Shota

But I'm a little nervous

I don't know, in the last few weeks he hasn't been very present and the way he acts doesn't tell me much if he likes me back or not

Taeyang-hyung

Hey

It's hard to know that if you don't try

Whether he says yes or not, it's going to be fine.

If he rejects you, it's his loss

Keeho-hyung

I agree

It's not the end of the world

Don't back out just because you're afraid of rejection

It's normal to be nervous, but don't let it freeze you up

Shota

Thank you <3

Taeyang-hyung

What day is the dinner?

Shota

Saturday

Taeyang-hyung

In case you need help or are panicking, you can call me anytime.

I have the day off :)

Shota

Thanks

You two are the best

Taeyang-hyung

I know

That's why I can't understand why you abandoned us.

But it's okay, no hard feelings T.T

After that conversation, he began to feel a little more confident, although he still sensed the emptiness of anxiety in the pit of his stomach, it was much more tolerable as he repeated the words of his friends in his head.

During that week, he followed his normal routine, except that everyone seemed overly excited about going out under the guise that nothing interesting ever happened to them.

On Saturday, they'd arranged to all go together, with most leaving from the university entrance and the last stop being the apartment where he lived.

It was already two hours until his departure time and he was sitting on his couch, watching a movie after spending the afternoon getting ready with Keeho's help. He felt his phone vibrate next to him and smiled as he saw Jongseob's name on his screen.

Jongseob

Hellooo

I'm bored

Can I stop by your place earlier?

"Jongseob is asking if he can come here. I'm asking because it's your house, after all."

Keeho lifted his head from his own phone and looked at him with a frown. He was sitting in one of the individual armchairs, while Shota was lying comfortably flat on the couch.

"I thought you were going to confess to Intak?"

"What does that have to do with anything I just said?"

Keeho watched him silently for a few seconds, his expression unreadable, before shaking his head with a sigh and returning his gaze to the screen.

"Nothing, it's fine by me. Actually, despite my complaints, I'm glad you have more friends than Taeyang and me."

"Hey! I have a lot of friends."

"I believe you," he replied with a deadpan face and his attention elsewhere. Shota rolled his eyes before returning to his phone and starting to type.

Shota

Yes, you can come over

We're watching Spiderman

Jongseob

:0

Which one?

Shota

The second one

Jongseob

AHHHH, I need to get there right away

Could you send me your location?

Shota did just that before turning his phone off again to return his attention to the movie, but for some reason he couldn't concentrate after his conversation with Jongseob. His gaze drifted to the door and he glanced at the time every three minutes as he calculated how long it would take Jongseob to get there.

Twenty minutes later, he heard the doorbell ring and immediately got up to open the door without bothering to make sure who it was.

"Hi!" Jongseob's bright eyes greeted him on the other side with a wide smile and Shota mimicked the gesture as he ushered him into his apartment. "You look good."

"Hey! You too."

He watched Jongseob for a moment as he left his shoes at the entrance and noticed that the simplicity of his attire made him look cozy: black jeans and a black polo shirt with a shirt underneath. In contrast, Shota was wearing a black mesh shirt with a chain dangling from the hem and tight black pants.

"Hi."

"Oh, hello. You must be the famous Jongseob." Keeho turned in place and looked at Jongseob as he rested his chin on the backrest.

"Famous?" Jongseob turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow and Shota was speechless. Keeho's comment took him by surprise and he didn't know what to reply, so he just shrugged.

"Yeah, you know, he talks about you all the time."

Shota felt the heat rise to his face and it only intensified further when Jongseob watched him with his mouth open for a few seconds after his friend's statement. The truth was he didn't remember talking about Jongseob that much with his friend, but if Keeho had pointed it out it meant he did it more than he thought.

"Has the movie progressed much?" Jongseob's voice brought him out of his thoughts and he blinked a couple of times as he pondered his answer.

"Around the first hour or so." Keeho answered for him, at which point he found his words again and took a step towards Jongseob before replying.

"We can rewind it, if you want."

Jongseob seemed to think about it for a few seconds, his pearly eyes fixed on his face, eyes so deep they almost made him blush again.

"Ah, no, it's okay, I've already seen it so many times I can see it from any point." Jongseob offered him a soft smile that Shota couldn't enjoy for much more than a few seconds before Jongseob turned his body toward the direction of the living room. "Should we sit down?"

"Sure." Shota took him by the arm almost out of habit and they sat side by side on the couch. Keeho watched them from his single chair with the same look as before and suddenly Shota wanted to question him about all his thoughts and know the meaning behind his gaze. "We didn't make popcorn or anything because we were going to eat later, so-"

"That's okay." Jongseob leaned his body against him, a gesture he was used to by now, the warmth beside him a comforting presence. Yet at that moment he felt strange with Keeho's unrelenting gaze upon them. "I'll be fine with whatever you offer me."

Shota leaned his body to reach for the remote and started the movie again. He felt tense for the first few minutes, and Jongseob must have noticed, because he turned his face to look at him with raised eyebrows.

"Are you okay?" The concern on his face made Shota feel bad for his behavior, for allowing Keeho to get under his skin like that. "Do you want some space?"

Jongseob started to walk away and Shota put his hand over his to stop him.

"No, it's okay."

He let out a sigh and relaxed his shoulders as he leaned back. He gave Jongseob a smile to reassure him, which seemed to work because he leaned back against him as he laid his head on his shoulder. It took him a few seconds to decide to rest his temple on the crown of his head, and all his discomfort vanished as he returned to that familiar, safe place he was used to.

He didn't know how much time had passed when he heard the notification tone on his phone.

Jiung

We are here

Come out

Come out

Come out

Jiho

Hurry up, it's getting cold

T.T

Jungsu

If you don't come out in ten seconds, we're leaving without you!

The first message had been sent just a minute ago and he rolled his eyes with a fond smile before raising his hand to touch Jongseob's hair gently. The aforementioned seemed too engrossed in the movie to pay attention to him so he moved his shoulder a little to get his attention.

"They're here."

"Oh."

Jongseob lifted his head and broke away from him before standing up.

"We should leave quickly before they start leaving without us."

"Would they actually do that?"

"Probably. We're already late anyway."

Shota glanced at the clock on his phone and grimaced as he saw that they were indeed already almost half an hour later than they had agreed.

They both grabbed the things they needed before running down the stairs. Once they reached the bottom, Shota stopped in his tracks when he saw Intak at the front of the group. He was wearing suit pants decorated with a chain hanging from the belt and a white shirt. He felt his breathing stop for a moment when he noticed that he was wearing makeup and a fake eyebrow piercing.

"Are you ready?"

A voice snapped him out of his stupor and he felt Jongseob wrap his hand around his arm as he responded:

"Come on, baby."

The journey to the restaurant was relatively short. Although there was no denying the contrast between their semi-formal attire and traveling by public transportation, one of the advantages of taking the subway was that they didn't have to suffer the ordeal of Seoul's incessant gridlocked traffic, so they arrived in less than half an hour.

The place had a traditional design, with individual rooms for each reservation. At the reception, every wall was covered with flowers and the atmosphere had a soft cherry scent.

After leaving their shoes at the entrance, they walked towards the place where they were going to eat while each person commented on how elegant and beautiful the place was. The rooms were decorated almost identically, with each corner adorned with a bouquet of flowers and a beacon of light hanging from the ceiling.

Shota tried to stay as close as he could to Intak after he confirmed the reservation.

"You look nice today," he decided to say as he took a seat on the floor next to him.

"Thank you. You too." Intak smiled back at him. No matter how many times he had seen him up close over the past month, he never quite got used to Intak's beauty. He took a few seconds to appreciate his makeup before turning his head so as not to seem too weird.

Across from him Jongseob seemed to be concentrating on a conversation with Jungsu, who was sitting next to him, and Jiho sitting in the corner. Almost as if he could sense his gaze on him, he turned his head for a millisecond as he smiled at him, and Shota felt something strange in his chest despite the brevity of the gesture.

He didn't have time to think too much about it, as Jongseob quickly returned to his conversation and one of the waitresses came into the room to give them a menu.

"Is there anything in particular you like?" He asked Intak as they both looked over the menu they had been given on their side of the table.

"Jajjangmyeong, or maybe Samgyeopsal? What about you?"

"I was thinking Kimchi jjigae, but what you say sounds good too."

On the other side of Intak, Jiung seemed to look at the menu for a second before deciding what he wanted to eat.

"How do you decide so quickly?" Intak questioned him with a raised eyebrow.

"Someone sent me the menu before I came." He shrugged.

Intak glanced at him with a grimace before returning his eyes to the menu.

"Shall we order several dishes and then share?"

Intak opened his mouth and made a perhaps slightly exaggerated gasp before patting him on the shoulder.

"You're a genius."

That's what they did when the waitress came back to ask for their orders. Once she left, Shota figured this was his chance to talk to Intak, though he seemed to beat him to it first.

"I really liked the dance you did in class yesterday."

Shota raised his eyebrows curiously.

"But you weren't in that class."

"Someone recorded it and shared it on their Instagram stories. I hope it's okay, I don't know if it was with your consent..."

"Oh, I do remember someone asking permission to record, but I didn't think they were going to post it." A sudden nervousness filled him, as his fears and insecurities went around in his head; the reasons why he refused to share that part of him on his main social accounts coming back to him.

"Oh, sorry, then."

"No, it's okay." Shota was quick to shake his head, as he offered him a small smile. The last thing he wanted was for Intak to feel bad about something he wasn't to blame for. "So you liked it?"

"Yes, I've always liked the way you dance. It's very particular, maybe that's why it was easy for me to identify your secret account. It wasn't intentional, but I'm glad I did, because then I have more opportunities to see you dance."

Shota felt something warm grow in his chest, and suddenly that illusion that had gone a little dormant in the last few weeks came back with renewed strength. The simple fact that Intak had noticed him enough to remember his dancing style or wanted to see him dance more often might be enough to keep him in a good mood in the coming days and even months.

"Wow, that's quite a compliment coming from you."

"Nah, it's nothing special, just the truth."

A big, sincere smile spread across his face as he felt the heat rise to his cheeks. In the background he could hear snippets of the others' conversation, but for a moment he was lost in Intak's gaze and the reality of what he had just told him. For a brief moment, his fears melted away and he took a little confidence in the plans he had for that night.

When his food arrived, Intak turned his attention to the conversation and soon they began to talk amongst themselves. Shota moved a little closer to Intak who seemed to notice it and gave him a smile before putting his arm around his shoulders. Shota noticed how natural it seemed and how comfortable he was not only with him, but with the others as well. He felt more grateful than ever to have met them, to that Friday night when he had decided to approach them in a moment of bravery.

Two hours passed quickly, and for an instant in his comfort he had forgotten that he was supposed to ask Intak out that night. The fear he thought had faded away came back with more force as soon as he remembered, doubt clouding his head in seconds.

He felt a stuffiness in his chest as he watched one of the employees pick up his dishes, and he remembered Taeyang's words days ago before excusing himself and leaving for the front desk.

He leaned against one of the walls and took a deep breath before pulling out his phone to dial his friend's number.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just, I'm about to..." He paused for a breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

"Are you going to confess? Are you panicking?"

"Yeah, a little, I guess."

"Okay. Breathe. It's going to be okay. Your relationship with him has been going well, right?"

"I guess." He let out a small laugh as he recalled all the complications he'd had in his attempt at approaching him, "I mean, the main reason I became part of the group was to get close to Intak and see if I could hang out with him, but at the end of the day he's hardly ever been there, and I haven't been able to—"

Halfway through his speech, he raised his head and his eyes met ones he hadn't expected to see at that moment.

Jongseob was looking at him from across the hall with a stunned expression, and his breathing stopped for a moment. A horrible feeling settled in his stomach and he stopped dead in his tracks for a few long seconds.

"Hello? Are you okay? Are you still there?"

"I'll call you back."

He hung up the call and when he looked up again, Jongseob was scowling at him, a hard semblance he'd never seen on him before. It was very different from the anger he was used to seeing from him, the one that raised the need to reach out and caress his face. Now his expression only made him want to run and hide in the first place he could find.

"Were you only with us because of Intak?"

"No, no." He took a step forward with his arms outstretched and for the first time in the time they had known each other, Jongseob took a step backwards to get away from his touch. "That's not— I can explain—"

His voice came out with a slight tremor and his legs would give out on him in any second. He heard some familiar voices in the distance and they both turned when they saw their friends approaching.

"Hey, why so eager to leave?"

Shota was still frozen when he felt Intak hug his shoulders. His gaze sought Jongseob's as he tried not to panic, but he failed to place him among the others.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Shota turned to look at Intak, his eyes full of concern and tried to relax before saying with a forced smile:

"Yeah, thanks."

They left the place and Shota noticed Jongseob walking ahead with his hands in his pockets. Intak walked away from him to catch up to the rest of the group and Shota followed close behind before they all stopped at the end of the street.

"It's already too late," Jiung said as they waited for the traffic light to change, "We could order two cars, one for those living in the dorms and one for Shota and myself."

"We don't have money for that." Intak protested and Jiung glared at him.

"If you split the fee between everyone it's not that expensive, stop complaining. I'll pay for Shota's and mine."

After a little survey, everyone agreed with Jiung's idea and after ordering a car through the app, they were silent as they waited. After a few minutes, most seemed to get bored and started talking amongst themselves, except for Jongseob and Shota, who just stood silently on opposite sides of the group.

Shota went around the others to stand next to Jongseob, still with his anxiety brimming, but with the compelling need to explain the situation to him as soon as possible. Now that he was calmer, he could express his thoughts better, though his hands still shook, and so did his voice when he had the courage to speak.

"Hello."

"Hello." His curt reply lacked his usual cheerfulness, and every second Shota felt that perhaps the situation was worse than he thought.

"What I said earlier..."

"It's okay, I shouldn't have eavesdropped..."

"No, no..." Shota raised his hand and closed his fingers over Jongseob's arm. He felt him tense up immediately and he only felt a dread creep up his body. "Can we talk?"

Shota began to tug him away without waiting for an answer and Jongseob looked at him in confusion when they were apart from the others.

"I just want to clarify that, although I approached you that day at the party for Intak, the reason I went to lunch with the group the first time and every other time is because I truly enjoy your company." He got the words out quickly, and ran out of breath when he finished as he looked at Jongseob expectantly.

"But you're disappointed."

"No, not disappointed. It's just... it's kind of funny, isn't it?"

Jongseob let out a snort, and Shota felt the ground shake beneath his feet. He wanted to go back in time to stay in the room, leave with everyone else and never make that call, or maybe to shut his mouth before the words even came out.

"Funny." Jongseob whispered blankly as he turned his head to the side, serious as he spoke. "Look, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

"No, but.. I want it to be clear that my interest in you was always genuine and had no ulterior motives—"

"Kim Jongseob, hurry up, it's time to go!" Intak's shout in the distance interrupted his explanation and his hands clenched into a fist as he tried to fight back frustration.

Jongseob started walking towards his friends, and Shota grabbed his hand to stop him. The look Jongseob gave him when he turned made him let go immediately, and it was only by a miracle that he managed to get out the words he wanted to say.

"We're fine, right?"

Jongseob looked at him for a few seconds and grimaced before answering.

"Goodbye."

Jongseob resumed his walk and Shota stood still as he watched everyone get into the car as Jiung waved goodbye to them. He didn't know at what point Jiung approached him after the car left, but he snapped out of his mental confusion when he felt an arm wrap around his back. When he turned, Jiung looked at him with his eyebrows raised and his head tilted to one side.

"Are you okay?"

Shota thought about his answer for a few seconds. He looked down at his shaking hands, and felt a lump in his throat as he processed the last twenty minutes. He felt his eyes burning and struggled to keep them open so he wouldn't end up crying in the middle of the street. His whole body felt improper and foreign, his shoulders tense, his legs weak, and he almost felt as if a black hole had opened up inside his body. It seemed that his whole being was hung by a thread, that he was about to fall into the void.

In the midst of his stupor, he managed to get a few words out, his voice faint, muffled and fragmented.

"I just... I want to go home."

Jiung gave him a comforting squeeze and asked no more questions as they waited.

Shota wondered if maybe he could clean up the problem with a snap, turn back time, or change the way he felt. Despite his words, he didn't think getting home would be enough, not as long as Jongseob's reaction to his words continued to circle endlessly in his thoughts.

For now, he could only wait for the night to be over and wish it hadn't all been ruined.