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God his head hurt.
Claude didn’t drink, his friends knew it, his viewers knew it, hell the birds probably even knew it who knows. Despite this however, Claude was currently 10 shots in and completely out of his mind on Krisis’ couch.
For the past few months, Claude had felt that he and Leo had been drifting farther and farther away from each other. Before, they talked everyday. They played games, texted, called, sat in silence just appreciating the others company. Now? Aside from desperate hit ups disguised as group dinners and haircuts, they barely spoke.
Losing Leo hurt more than he was willing to admit but it was his fault. Claude knew it was his fault.
So when a distraction presented itself, he took it.
Krisis had invited Claude over to hangout since Vanta was in Japan, which eventually led to Vanta pulling out bottles of alcohol and shot glasses for everyone. The following conversation would usually go like this: Vanta would beg Claude to take a shot, Claude would push it away with a straight face and say no, and Vanta would dramatically sigh and give up. This was their routine, and it happened every time since they had met.
So imagine their surprise when before Vanta could even open his mouth and ask Wilson and Zali to take shots with him, Claude grabbed a bottle and shot glass first.
Krisis looked at each other in confusion as they watched Claud pour himself a glass, half in confusion and the other half in excitement. No one stopped him, because why would they?
“Dude, you’re drinking with us?”
Claude didn’t offer Vanta a reply as he passed glasses to everyone before throwing one back himself. His face scrunched in disgust before looking up at everyone’s shocked faces.
“So are you guys gonna…”
Maybe Claude was in a good mood, who knows, all they knew was Claude was finally drinking with them! Krisis hurriedly regained their composure before laughing and joining Claude as well.
That proved to be a mistake because now Krisis was looking at a very drunk and very teary Claude, and no one knew what was wrong.
For the 3 years which Krisis had known Claude, they had never seen him anywhere close to crying. Happy? Annoyed? Upset? They had seen it all. Crying however was unexplored territory.
The sight was so shocking even Vanta was sobering up, as they watched tears slowly build up in Claude’s eyes.
Zali moved first, shuffling next to Claude to pat his back as Wilson reached over to take Claude’s glass away.
“It’s okay, Claude. Take a deep breath for me.”
Zali’s comfort seemed to help at first before Claude choked on one of his breaths and made everything ten times worse.
At this point all of Krisis was sober and huddled around Claude in a panic.
“Hey man, what’s wrong?”
Vanta soon realized asking that was a mistake because now Claude was full on crying. He cried softly, borderline silently, because of course Claude did, but he was very much crying.
“Bro.”
Wilson looked at Vanta with mirror panicked expressions as Zali tried to get Claude to stopped rubbing at his eyes. After a while of comforting and quiet reassurances Claude finally spoke.
“I’m sorry…”
Zali positioned himself infront of Claude, making sure Claude was focused on him.
“Claude, you have nothing to apologize for, we’re your friends and we just want you to be okay.”
Claude looked up at Zali with red rimmed eyes, searching for something. Any other day, Claude would have closed his eyes with a deep breath before leaving to calm himself down, leaving his friends with nothing but another apology the next morning.
Unluckily for Krisis, Claude was 10 shots deep and inhibitions lowered, because instead of leaving like he should’ve, he reached for his phone.
“Claude..?”
Before Krisis could figure out what was going on, ringing echoed through the room.
“Oh, shit.”
At Wilson’s exclamation, Vanta and Zali immediately sprung into action. Zali grabbed Claude’s hand while Vanta reached for the phone. Drunk calls are rarely ever good ones, especially ones made when said person is both sad and drunk, so in consideration of their friend’s sober future Krisis tried their best to stop Claude from making any mistakes he would regret.
Whoever Claude was calling must’ve been a special one because Claude fought back, hard.
“Down Claude, down!”
Wilson moved behind Claude to reach the phone he had pulled out of Vantas reach in the initial attempt. Claude twisted out of both Zali and Vantas reach, getting caught in a struggle of hands and heros.
For a team of hero’s, they were really bad at stopping one drunk person from making a call, because seconds later the ringing came to an abrupt stop and a voice came through.
“Hello? Claude-“
“Leo, please don’t abandon me. I’m so sorry.”
Oh fuck.
Krisis began fighting back in full force, because it was now or never. Vanta and Zali jerked Claude back around in sync with Wilson reaching for the phone, throwing Claude off balance and causing his grip to loosen.
Thank god Claude was drunk.
“Hey-!”
“Hi Leo! Sorry around this uh Claude’s had some drinks and he got more drunk than we thought so just forget this happened.”
Wilson’s last attempt at saving Claude any face seemed to go completely over Leo’s head, because Leo immediately began asking about Claude.
“He drank? Why? Is he okay? Where is he?”
“We’re at my place! Don’t worry we-“
Claude chose that exact moment to reorient himself, focusing on the fact Leo was on the phone.
“Leo-!”
Vanta and Zali pushed Claude against the couch, shushing him to be quiet, but they were too late. The damage had been done.
“I’m coming over.”
The call ended and now a crying, but angry, Claude was fuming at a very shocked Krisis.
———
Leo arrived at Krisis’ door 25 minutes later, heaving as his lungs burned from the effort. For a man who once had a step count in the double digits, he had gotten there pretty quick, but now he was suffering the consequences.
The world spun as he wobbled toward the door, heart racing and blood pumping in his ears. Leo hunched over trying to regain control before heading in.
‘Claudeclaudeclaudeclaudeclaudeclaude’
The only thought running through Leo’s head was Claude. The entire way all Leo could think about was Claude.
The way Claude’s voice shook in desperation and fear as he begged to not be left behind haunted Leo.
How could Claude think that? Claude had been there for Leo when no one else was, stayed up late nights to make sure Leo slept, took Leo on random walks and meals to make sure he was healthy.
They were each other’s ride or die, and nothing would change that.
Leo took one final deep breath before standing up and ringing the door bell. Whatever doubts were plaguing Claude, Leo was going to shut them down.
Leo could hear footsteps quickly approaching the door as soon as the bell rang. Seconds later a very disheveled Vanta all but ripped the door off its hinges.
“Thank god, Leo. He’s on the couch.”
Vanta stepped aside just in time to avoid being run over by Leo who bee lined towards the living room. Bottles and cans were scattered everywhere and just about every pillow was thrown on the floor. None of it mattered though because as soon as Leo entered the living room all he could see was Claude asleep on the couch, tears streaking his face.
Leo immediately pushed past Zali and Wilson (when did they get there?) and kneeled on the floor in front of Claude.
“Claude..”
Leo’s eyes burned with tears as he held onto Claude.
What happened? How did he not notice Claude was hurting so badly? Claude was always there for him, so why didn’t he come to Leo? Leo felt like he had failed Claude and right now all he could do was hold Claude as he fell apart in his arms not because he trusted him, but because he was too drunk to not.
“Leo, why don’t you put Claude in the guest room and stay the night?”
Leo looked up at Zali who had moved closer to the pair at some point. He remained on the floor rubbing circles on Claude, who was now slouched against Leo asleep. He took slow deep breaths to calm himself, because now he needed to be strong. Claude was always the one to help Leo when he needed him, so now it was Leo’s turn to help Claude.
———
“Ugh…”
Claude felt like a truck had run him over and left him on the road to die. His head pounded in a way he knew irresponsible decisions with alcohol were made. Fuck he owed Krisis a meal with the mess he must’ve caused, but that was laters problem. Right now all he could worry about was the skull splitting headache and overall grossness he felt.
Before Claude could will himself to open his eyes, he felt a cold water bottle being pressed against his cheek.
“Drink this Claude.”
Holy shit.
Claude immediately sat up, pushing himself up on his elbows and opening his eyes, because he knew that voice, and if he was hearing that voice then he was fucked. He regretted that decision however because his head did not agree with the motion.
“Woah! Calm down. You probably have the worst hangover of your life right now, so you need to take it easy.”
The cold bottle of water and painkiller was pushed into his hands as circles were rubbed into his back. His brain was still trying to balance the pain while catching up with what the fuck was going on.
Moments passed before Claude finally managed to open his eyes and look over at the person rubbing at his back. As much as he prayed that it wasn’t, Claude’s blue and purple eyes met Leo’s soft red eyes.
“Take the pills, it’ll help with the pain. Honestly, Mr. I don’t like to drink, you were basically begging for this after getting yourself wasted last night.”
Claude stared at Leo who laughed like nothing was wrong, as if Claude hadn’t drunk called Leo over and said things he probably shouldn’t have.
“Leo…?”
“Yeah, it’s me you idiot. Don’t tell me you can’t even recognize your duo anymore.”
Leo teased Claude with a smile, nudging the bottle in his hands towards his mouth. Claude looked back at the bottle before slowly taking a sip.
He had a few ideas of what had happened last when he was drunk and none of them were good if it ended with Leo at his bedside. The whole reason he had taken a shot in the first place was because he was drowning in so much self pity about his relationship with Leo he didn’t know what to do other than drown his sorrows in shots.
He was scared. He didn’t want to ruin the little that was left of his relationship with Leo, and after today he wasn’t sure there would be anything left.
As if knowing what Claude was thinking, Leo cupped his hand over Claude’s.
“It’s okay, Claude. Whatever you’re thinking, I promise it’ll be okay.”
Claude didn’t know what to say. Reaching out, opening up, they were all things he never knew how to do. His problems were his alone to bear, and he didn’t want to give Leo any more reasons to leave him behind.
He could figure it out on his own. He always did.
Right as Claude was about to open his mouth and deflect the conversation, Leo spoke first.
“I’m sorry, Claude.”
Claude jerked his head up, eyes widening in shock.
“Leo-“
“Claude, you’ve always been there for me. Always have known what to do before I even knew what was wrong myself. On days where I could barely get myself out of bed and wanted to give up, you always helped me back onto my feet. For two years, you have kept my world spinning. You are my best friend, Claude, so this time let me be yours.”
Claude looked deep into Leo’s eyes, searching for a single sign of frustration or anger. He wanted to trust Leo so badly, wanted to be able to open up his heart and rebuild the relationship they once shared, but he was scared. He had been scared all this time, so he had held back, but what good had that done?
Now Leo and Claude were sat on a bed neither of them owned in a home neither of them lived in all because Claude had been too scared. He was holding his hand and looking at Claude like he had hung the moon and traced the stars.
That was Leo, his duo, his best friend, and he knew he had to trust him.
“I feel like you’ve realized you can do better than me. It’s so selfish, and I’m glad you’ve made more friends you can trust, but I’m scared that you’re going to leave me behind now.
We used to talk everyday, Leo. Even when we were oceans apart and 14 hours behind each other, we were always together. Now, even though I live a train ride away, I barely see you. You’re always in vc with friends, meeting new people, duoing with Dubstxp, and never with me. I was your duo Leo.
I’m so sorry. Even if I’m not worth it anymore, even if I know Dubstxp is every bit of me and more, I don’t want to be alone. Please don’t leave me, Leo.
Tears dripped down Claude’s face. The strong confident Claude was gone and all that was left was the scared insecurity he had hidden all this time.
Claude readied himself for laughter, anger, disappointment, but instead Leo pulled Claude forward, pressing himself against the other. Leo held Claude tight until all Claude could feel was him. His hand wrapped around his waist, fingers raking through his hair, heart beating against Claude’s.
He was there, living, breathing, holding Claude.
“Don’t ever say that again Claude. So what I’ve made some new friends or started duoing with another person. You are Claude Clawmark, the man who stayed by my side through the good and the bad, gave me a place to breathe, and helped me become the person who could meet all these new people. Without you Claude I would have never been able to make it this far.”
Leo pulled away slightly, just enough so that he could look into Claude’s eyes.
“The experiences you have given me are immeasurable. I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, I thought we were both busy, and I guess I just got lost doing other things. This is my fault, but I could never stop loving you Claude. You are Claude Clawmark, my duo, my best friend, my ride or die, and you are irreplaceable.”
Leo opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again.
“I love you, Claude.”
For the first time that morning, Leo’s eyes shone with something other than confidence; he was scared. Scared that his confession would push Claude away, but he needed him to know.
Leo had failed to let Claude know just how much he meant to him before, so he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.
“I know this might be sudden but-“
Claude pressed his lips against Leo’s, leaving just as quickly as it came.
“I love you too, Leo.”
Claude tucked his head in Leo’s shoulder, trying his best to hide the blush creeping up his neck. His heart was hammering against his chest, warming his entire body.
Leo pulled Claude off his shoulder, cradling his face in both hands before beginning to softly giggle.
“We’re such idiots.”
Claude looked away, embarrassed. Sighing, Claude fell back onto the bed with Leo in his arms, laying the two side by side.
Leo turned over to Claude, who now had his eyes firmly shut.
“Get that shit eating grin off your face, idiot.”
Despite his harsh words, Claude’s words dripped with affection, and Leo knew it. Leo’s smile only widened at his words.
“You loooovvvveee meeee.”
Claude pulled a very giggly Leo down against his chest, wrapping himself around him.
“Quiet.”
The two laid together, basking in the love and warmth of the other. Leo was Claude’s and Claude was Leo’s, and that’s all they needed.
————
Claude and Leo were wrapping up another Valorant stream, doing their usual small talk in vc before leaving to do their individual zatsus. It had been a long stream, about 7 hours of gaming and it was pretty late into the night. They were both in a good mood from the good games and fun teammates, and were riding that high before ending.
They had been dating for about three months now, and aside from Krisis, they hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. They were enjoying their newly found relationship, not caring to share just yet.
The viewers didn’t notice anything, focusing on the fact that the duo were together and playing games again. They were “best friends”, so why would they think any differently?
“Okayyyy, I’m gonna go wrap and get some dinner. Bye byeee!”
Leo chirped his signature goodbye, preparing to leave call and talk to his chat. His crosshair hovered over the disconnect button, waiting for Claude’s reply.
Moments later, Claude reciprocated.
“Alright, love you. See you later, babe”
Then the sound of Claude disconnecting rang through Leo’s stream. Leo sat there stunned, crosshair still sat over the disconnect.
It wasn’t that Leo didn’t want to tell everyone, (he loved Claude!) but he just wasn’t expecting for it to be right now. Leo peaked over at his chat, and for a second it remained still before exploding with messages.
WHAT
DID HE CALL HIM BABE
OMG KUGAMARK REAL
SIBDIWNSIENA
OMG
SENSEI
“Uhhh. Haha.. Okaythanksforthstream!Bye!”
Leo quickly ended stream, not sure what to do, right as Claude burst through his office door.
“Um I might’ve fucked up.”
Claude stood disheveled, eyes wide in panic, and phone in hand ringing with messages from friends who had been watching the stream.
Leo opened his arms, ushering Claude over. In response, Claude made his way over, seating himself on top of Leo’s lap, the two sharing Leo’s chair.
Leo grabbed Claude’s phone, placing it on his desk next to them before wrapping his arms around Claude.
“I know we didn’t plan to reveal it just yet, but as long as you’re okay with it, I am too. Our fans love us, our friends love us! It’ll be okay, yeah?”
Claude hesitated for a second before nodding along.
“I love you.”
Leo smiled even wider.
“I love you too, Claude.”
The two kissed, softly pressing slow kisses against the other. In that moment, it was just Claude and Leo and that’s all that mattered. They had all the time in the world.
“Also, you calling me babe on stream was really cute.”
Claude immediately pulled away, only with Leo’s arms keeping him from falling off the chair. His face burned for embarrassment, glaring down at a very smug Leo.
“C’mon just stay hereeee. I’m saying it was cute, Babe.”
“Shut-!”
————
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us you two started dating! We have been praying for kugamark since you two met, and you hid it from us?!”
Elira slammed her hands down on the table, plates rattling at its force.
Their friends had invited them to a dinner not long after they officially announced their relationship. Now Leo and Claude were trapped between their friends who were using Altus and Vanta as their supposed “guards”, forcing them to face the wrath of Elira and Finana.
Albeit not as loudly, their friends shared the same sentiment. Finana joined Elira in her reprimands while Nayu and Uki just stared in disbelief. Krisis sat to the side watching with Altus, laughing at the look on Claude and Leo’s faces.
“Woah woah woah, we didn’t mean to hide it. We were just waiting for the right time!”
“Right time?! My otp just got together! There’s never a bad time to let me know!”
Elira fired back immediately, shutting down Leo’s defense. Claude just sighed next to Leo opening his mouth for the first time since their friends had begun questioning them.
“We got together three months ago, and I didn’t feel like sharing yet. That’s it alright? Don’t be so hard on Leo he didn’t do anything.”
Vanta whistled from the side, not looking up from the meat he was cooking on the grill.
Claude’s ears burned in embarrassment, blush beginning to spread.
The table quieted down for a moment, slightly satisfied with the display of love they just saw. The calm did not last long however before Uki piped back up.
“That was cute, but we still can’t forgive you. I want details. Who, when, where, why, how. I want it all.”
The table erupted in discussion once again, questions firing off from every direction of the couple. Even Altus started asking his own questions!
Leo grabbed Claude’s hand under the table, intertwining their fingers. He smiled at Claude, eyes sharing every unsaid word between them.
Claude huffed, grabbing his chopsticks with his unused hand and began stuffing his cheeks in earnest, leaving Leo to answer everyone’s questions.
Despite everything their hands never left each other nor did their smiles ever leave their faces. They had each other, and that’s all they needed.
Everything was going to be okay.
…
“Wilson fucking knew before me?!?!”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”