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The Curatorium of Secrets deals in information of all kinds: state secrets, divine technology, and, most importantly of all, petty gossip.
Nefer had no need to sell the average citizen’s private humiliations in order to make a living, but a couple’s squabble turned out to have political relevance more often than one might think, hence her being well-versed in the art of, in colloquial terms, drama.
Even when she deemed a piece of information private enough that sharing it would be a breach of her moral code, she was still well-aware of what was whispered from one mouth to another in the streets of Nod Krai, and now, Sumeru too.
Therefore, no one was quite as aware of the path of this particular rumour as she was.
This was how it started: Thoth, the Ibis King —one of King Deshret’s Seven Pillars, a mighty immortal deity upon whose gaze the more valiant humans quivered — sensed a certain homosexual air in the two scholars introduced to him as “Sumeru’s most brilliant minds.” Not only were they apparently joined at the hip at almost every moment (much too close for a simple pair of colleagues), the way they danced around conversation much resembled two birds involved in courtship. If one spoke, the other reacted, seemingly always eager to showcase how well they knew each other.
“Are you sure they are not romantically involved, Nefer?” he had murmured, eyeing the two bickering from afar. “The linguistics one gazes at the engineer with a certain tenderness, and I have the impression that his voice softens when they speak to one another.”
Thoth did not only make such comments to Nefer. His fellow gods heard the same theory, nodding along and adding that the familiarity between them certainly alluded to a bond of genuine depth. After all, as he pointed out, the blonde human had even tried to protect the other from danger, claiming “I have to look out for you.” That was too foolish to have been caused by anything but affection.
“Ah, love,” the Crocodile King had mused. “How it blinds you to reason. It seems humans are the same as gods.”
"Naturally," Goatie murmured.
Unable to keep his impressions to himself, Thoth had subtly asked the other humans if they knew of the nature of Alhaitham and Kaveh’s relationship, to which Dori had replied that an answer would cost him much mora, Cyno had stated that Sumeru was collapsing and this was no time for gossip, and Hat Guy had muttered that Alhaitham seemed to have learned his astounding degree of yearning from Inazuman romance novels.
Collei had turned suspiciously red at the question however, and so Thoth decided to approach her.
“Ibis King,” she had stuttered, bowing awkwardly. “Are you in need of my assistance?”
“Most certainly, little divine one,” he replied, gravely. “Say, how close are Alhaitham and Kaveh?”
She blinked. “They’ve… known each other for many years. And it’s my impression that they care for each other deeply.”
“Tell me more.”
Swallowing, poor Collei stole a glance at where the others seemed to be doing important nation-saving things, but fleeing from a god was not something she could easily do. “I’ve seen them look out for each other is all. At the start of the project, Kaveh seemed to be doubting his abilities, but Alhaitham mocked him and it seemed to drive all his insecurities away. I think Alhaitham did it on purpose to help his confidence.”
“How intriguing.”
Collei was sweating. “Yes.”
The rumour thus started with Thoth, passed through every ear in the Mausoleum of King Deshret (it had even reached Apep), then went on to float around the Fatui enemy camp.
“So the people I’m going against are two men who debate philosophy as foreplay?” Pantalone murmured, crossing his arms. “How intriguing.”
Not one person was spared the Ibis King’s questioning, including the floating white creature who oddly spoke of herself in third person.
“Paimon doesn’t know anything!” she had exclaimed, much too quickly for it to sound natural.
Thoth was no fool, and raised an eyebrow at the response. “You have no qualms about lying to the divine?”
Paimon gulped. “No, that’s not—! Ah! I have to keep my friends’ secrets!”
Thoth’s eyes practically gleamed at the words while she covered her own mouth.
“What secrets?”
“Nothing!” she squealed, before lowering her tone. “Fine, they live together. But!” she added, eyeing the incredulous smile on his face. “Not as a couple. I think.”
“Not as a couple, hm?”
Why else would they live together, especially considering the blatant demonstrations of intimacy they had indulged in within the temple? These questions started to properly consume Thoth’s mind, and it admittedly wasn’t the best allocation of his time.
His questioning paused, but he returned to hushed whispers once the entire Irminsul ordeal was resolved.
“Well,” Aether started, quietly. “As far as I’m aware, their relationship isn’t romantic. But I heard snippets of their conversation on the temple’s rooftop while they were stargazing all alone, and it did sound… not very platonic.”
“Stargazing? At such a time?” Thoth crossed his arms. “My, my.”
Tighnari commented off-handedly that Alhaitham would have gotten on one knee years ago if Kaveh had been willing, to which Hat Guy muttered that there was no way they hadn’t taken their tempers to bed at some point. To which Cyno snapped that such crude observations were not to be made in Collei’s presence, fist gathering around his sword.
Once Collei was elsewhere and Cyno was busy telling a joke, Hat Guy leaned towards Thoth once more. “I can bet five thousand mora. I'm sure they've done it.”
Tighnari hummed. “Maybe they’re like this exactly because it hasn’t happened.”
“I’m telling you,” Hat Guy replied. “There’s no way Alhaitham hasn’t fucked Kaveh’s brains out yet.”
Before Thoth could react, Alhaitham himself passed right past the group, raising a careful eyebrow at the statement. He strolled away after only a moment, but not before observing that Kaveh’s intelligence was much too remarkable for the idea of “fucking his brains out” to be reasonably feasible. If anything, Alhaitham murmured, a more appropriate term for the hypothetical act would be making love.
That brief dialogue obviously hoisted the rumour— to the point where it even reached Charlotte of the Fontainian Steambird, and Lord Kusanali herself giggled at being requested to read one of their minds to assess the veracity of the story.
It didn’t help that more than one Sumeran citizen saw the Scribe walk in and out of the same house where the Light of Kshahrewar was personally fixing the fallen roof.
Whispers quickly became loud laughter around the Grand Bazaar, and the rumour that the two scholars were romantically involved moved from speculation to generally-accepted fact within the city. The sky was blue, the sun was hot, and Alhaitham and Kaveh were in love.
Really, the last person in the entirety of the Nation of Wisdom to hear the hushed gossip was one of the objects of it himself. Kaveh was fully absorbed in visualising his latest design while consulting some information in the House of Daena when an old classmate of his greeted him with a nod.
"I hear Scribe Alhaitham is… taken, so to speak," the scholar chuckled.
The words paralysed Kaveh's cheerful leafing through a book, and his face collapsed. Alhaitham? 'Taken'?
Kaveh felt foolish for the shock that statement threw him into. Of course, it was highly likely that Alhaitham would find someone eventually— really, it had taken him longer than expected. Alhaitham was a financially stable genius who had saved the nation on more than one occasion, and what's more, he was simultaneously breathtakingly gorgeous and blessed with enviable genetics that had granted him massive arms. Half of Sumeru probably swooned over him, because, in Kaveh's view, not falling in love with him seemed just as impossible as not finding the Palace of Alcazarzaray beautiful.
Smiling tightly at the scholar, Kaveh tried not to let tears escape the sides of his eyes. What an idiot he was to think he would ever have a chance.
Unfortunately, that interaction was not the last of its kind. Alhaitham seemed to have made his new, shiny, jubilant relationship known to absolutely everyone other than his roommate who had been his best friend for years. Kaveh tried to tell himself that it was completely within Alhaitham's rights to not tell him about something so personal, but then why did everyone else seem to know? Did Kaveh not deserve to be told too?
"So the ex-Grand Sage is completely besotted, eh?" an auntie at the Bazaar murmured as she packed some saffron for Kaveh, lips twitching around a cocky smile.
Kaveh tried to swallow down the lump forming in his throat. "Maybe."
As the front door slammed behind him a mere ten minutes later, he inhaled sharply to keep the sobs in. The house was empty at this time of day, but he still didn't want to allow himself to unleash all those ugly emotions that had been bubbling inside him ever since that short conversation in the House of Daena, stealing his focus away from his work. He couldn't let himself waste time over something like this, because he had debt to pay off so that he could leave Alhaitham's house and allow him to live in domestic bliss with his new partner.
Something stung near Kaveh's heart at the thought, and he clenched his fists. This was their shared home. Was Alhaitham bringing in someone else to share his coffee and lie with him on the divans Kaveh had picked out every time a meeting with a client took Kaveh away from the house?
Guilt replaced the sliver of anger that had taken hold of his mind. He really was selfish, to be thinking like that instead of being genuinely happy that Alhaitham had found someone to stay by his side.
The issue was that Kaveh wanted to be the one by his side, just like he had been over the last few years and just how they used to be as students, inserpable and irreplaceable to each other. That research thesis has severed their bond, sure, but it was largely rekindled by now, no? They rarely ever properly argued at this point, and most of their conversations were good-natured bickering that didn't actually inflame Kaveh's irritation anymore. They shared a home, and they were close, and they were getting near something that almost felt like understanding, but now Alhaitham was besotted with some faceless person he hadn't even bothered to tell Kaveh about.
Fine, fuck it, the tears were coming out at full force now, streaming down Kaveh's cheeks like proof of his failure. This was all his fault anyway, because he'd known Alhaitham for fifteen years and been too much of a foolish coward to ever make a move, and now he had lost what he had never really tried to earn. Even if Alhaitham had ever felt something bordering on romantic for him, no man was patient enough to wait for all the time Kaveh needed.
What did this nameless partner have over Kaveh? Did they understand Alhaitham just as well? Could they debate him just as thoroughly? Did they know how he liked his coffee, at what time he went to sleep, and his favourite dishes? Could they tell when he was overwhelmed by that small tick in his jaw?
The guilt returned at full force as Kaveh blocked out those thoughts. He had no right to be angry at whoever Alhaitham's choice was, and they were probably lovely if Alhaitham was 'besotted' with them. The word made Kaveh feel slightly nauseated, and he served himself a cup of water.
Anyway, Alhaitham was probably better off with someone who matched his disposition instead of being a walking indebted mess like Kaveh. He would move out by the end of the week, and then Alhaitham would have the space to finally breathe and build a comfortable space with his lover.
When Alhaitham arrived home from work on weekdays, the kitchen was usually filled with the aroma of spices and freshly-sliced fruit. Kaveh detested reheating food and liked to have it ready exactly when Alhaitham stepped through he door so that he could eat early and return to his blueprints, but today, the kitchen was empty.
He's probably near a deadline, Alhaitham reasoned, washing his hands before taking out some chickpeas to make for dinner.
However, when he was done cooking and no sign of life had yet come from within the house, he decided to knock on Kaveh's door.
"I see you're neglecting our previously agreed upon chore division," Alhaitham stated, which was his way of asking, are you alright?
"Fuck!" Kaveh exclaimed, peeking his head out of his closet. His bed was covered in what looked like every piece of clothing he owned, and bags were strewn messily across the floor. "I'm sorry, I totally lost track of time. I'll go cook."
Closing the door behind himself, Alhaitham blinked. "What are you doing?"
"Packing."
Alhaitham waited for the rest. "Business trip? Where are you going that you need to take your custom-made suits?"
"Ah." Kaveh stilled, and he looked away before murmuring a response. "I'm moving out."
Silence.
A crash of utter disbelief and despair hit Alhaitham in the form of that simple sentence. Now? Right after they had finished rebuilding their home together, side-by-side? Right after saving the nation together and spending what could have been their last night on the world stargazing with their shoulders pressed together?
Alhaitham didn't know what to reply. He'd always thought that one day, Kaveh would reciprocate his feelings, because a bond as intimate as theirs had to bloom into something even more beautiful at some point— it was only natural. But it seemed that he had been wrong, because the recent improvements in their relationship hadn't been enough for Kaveh to understand that he could stay.
"Why?" he asked, careful as to not let his tone betray the anxiety throbbing though his body.
Sighing, Kaveh came towards him while scratching his head. His eyes were fixed on the floor, and his eyes were distorted in what Alhaitham had come to identify as guilt.
"I want to give you space," he said quietly, smiling sadly. "I don't think I ever directly told you this, but I think it's about time I swallow my pride and… and thank you for all your help. I loved living here, but I don't want to be a burden to you. I have enough money to find a place."
"Space," Alhaitham repeated. "I have plenty of space. I have a room to myself."
"Come on, Haitham. You know what I mean."
Alhaitham looked on with blank eyes. "I don't."
It was with a sigh that Kaveh sat down on the edge of his mattress, fiddling with his fingers. "I want you to be happy."
Alhaitham's heart sped up its pace. "I don't see the relation between that and moving out."
"If you want someone else to move in with you, that's okay. I understand. I never wanted to get in your way."
The frown distorting Alhaitham's eyes was probably so deep by now that he thought it might be etched onto his face forever. "Who else would I want to move in with me?"
"Word's on the street that, well…" Kaveh bit down on his bottom lip. "You've found the love of your life."
Alhaitham stared at him for a long, unending moment, then suppressed the urge to genuinely laugh.
Right, so Kaveh had finally heard the rumours that had been going around for weeks, and had seemingly grotesquely misinterpreted them.
"It's true," he replied, lips twitching. How far would he have to push for Kaveh to finally understand what had been astoundingly obvious to everyone else for literal years?
"Oh." Kaveh inhaled. "I'm happy for you."
Happiness was certainly not what his slumped posture and anxious fidgeting hinted at.
"I want to share a home with my beloved for the rest of my life," Alhaitham continued, sitting by Kaveh's side and gauging his reaction. He looked constipated. "In a… sort of private bubble, so to speak. Just the two of us. Those are the happiest moments for me."
Kaveh started blinking too quickly for it to be natural, probably to ward off tears, and he looked away slightly to leave Alhaitham's field of view. "That sounds lovely," he whispered.
It was such a blatant lie that it would have been laughable if the sight of Kaveh's palpable sadness didn't make Alhaitham's heart clench with uncharacteristic empathy. Perhaps this taunting was taking it too far. Perhaps this would be an adequate moment to tell Kaveh everything he had never noticed.
"It is lovely," he murmured, gently entwining his smallest finger with Kaveh's. "I don't know how you never noticed."
Kaveh's breath hitched as he looked down at the warmth of their hands curled together, not moving his fingers at all. His lips parted with a question, but nothing came out.
"You're the love of my life," Alhaitham professed, and it came out much more easily than he would have imagined, like his tongue had been made to say those exact words. For all the years it had been stuck in his throat, he never would have imagined that it would come out just like that.
"Oh," Kaveh breathed, red eyes suddenly glittering with understanding. "Oh…"
Alhaitham waited like he always did, because waiting for Kaveh had become second nature to him. He looked on with his same softened eyes as always, patiently expecting his response. His heart was excitedly throbbing within his chest, but he didn't let it transpire.
"Really?" Kaveh finally said, lips curling as he reached to fully hold Alhaitham's hand.
"I wouldn't lie about that."
Properly beaming now, Kaveh wrapped his other arm around Alhaitham's neck and breathed out longly. "Really?"
Alhaitham rolled his eyes, but his chest was filled with nothing but absolute fondness. "The brilliance of the Light of Kshahrewar astounds me at times."
"Shut up," Kaveh groaned, hiding his face in the crook of Alhaitham's neck. Alhaitham could feel his smile. "How was I supposed to know?"
"I can make a list of obvious hints, if you like. My feelings are so evident that you were the last person in Sumeru to hear about them."
He hugged Kaveh fully, and never had he felt so deliciously warm in his entire life. Golden curls were tickling the tip of his nose, but he couldn't find it in him to care.
"I love you too," Kaveh murmured, but Alhaitham didn't have to hear it to know. He simply smiled in response, smelling Kaveh's subtle perfume and letting seep in the fact that this would be how his every day would look like from now on.
"I made dinner," he said, before pressing a reverent kiss to Kaveh's temple. "We should eat. And then clean up, because your room is a mess."
Kaveh looked up at him with a glare.
"Which means you should sleep on my bed tonight," he added sweetly. "If you want, hayati."
If humans could physically melt, the process would look like Kaveh's reaction to those words, face burning red as he bit down a bright smile. Leaning forwards until their breaths mingled, he whispered, "I do."