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Junichiro was protective over the people that he loved the most, something that kept him aware of the feelings that they felt, but he still had rare moments of mindless anger, which is what caused his current situation: accidentally referencing one of Jazzy’s most traumatic experiences in order to get them to leave him alone after he had a bad day at his job at the Armed Detective Agency. Jazzy rarely visited the agency, so they weren’t aware of how bad of a day he had actually had until it was too late.
The second he yelled at Jazzy, he immediately recognized the way their eyes went blank the way they do when they were about to either panic or shut down entirely. Jazzy shut him out, flinching when he reached for their hand.
“Wait! Don’t- No, that was a terrible thing to mention! I’m sorry, please look at me, Jazzy-!” Junichiro pleaded, his tone had a mix of hurt and tense emotions. Jazzy’s vacant gaze remained fixed on the floor, locking Junichiro out of their heart and vulnerability.
The silent dismissal hit him the hardest, his mind was racing back and forth between regret, guilt, anger and fear. Jazzy remained calm, but deep down, they felt uneasy. Without a word, they rushed off to their room, locking the door behind them, leaving Junichiro alone to dwell on his own thoughts and guilt.
Part of him knew he shouldn’t try to talk them for a few hours. They were shaken up by what he said, but even so, Junichiro couldn’t get Jazzy out of his mind no matter how hard he tried to do so. The way their eyes became distant like an empty void after the blunt remark he had made about their past was enough to shatter his heart to a million pieces. He couldn’t risk losing them entirely to a mistake of blinded rage, but he decided that he at least needed to give them some space.
He yearned to hold them close, to talk things out and to tell them it would be okay and to tell them that he was truly sorry. He wished Jazzy would forgive him even if it felt selfish to want after what he said. He reminded himself that Jazzy had trusted him with the knowledge of their past, and he disregarded that in a quick state of frenzy. He decided to clean the house, forcing his mind off of the situation.
As he started with wiping down the countertops, he recalled how he raised his tone towards Jazzy, the way their expression had shifted to pure shock at his harsh words. He cringed at the memory, scrubbing the countertops even harder, practically polishing the surface with the linen cloth.
“Jun? What happened?” Naomi’s voice startled Junichiro who jerked at the sudden sound. Once he saw it was just Naomi, his nerves eased. “I messed up really bad, Nao.” Junichiro admitted, not meeting his sister’s eyes.
“I heard that.” Naomi agreed, now standing by his side, watching him start making curry rice for dinner. “What do I do, Naomi? We haven’t fought yet, and that was the worse case scenario! What if they want to break up with me?” Junichiro panicked, stirring the rice quicker. Naomi held onto his wrist, making him slow down his pace. “Stop it. They wouldn’t do that.” Naomi started, waiting for him to listen.
“How do you know?” Junichiro asked, still visibly shaking. “Why wouldn’t you know, Jun? They’re not that type of person. You need to calm down and then you need to talk to them about this.” Naomi asserted, watching Junichiro’s expression change from panic to interest. “They don’t want to talk!” Junichiro shouted. “You haven’t tried yet, have you?” Naomi interrupted, the silence proved that she was right about that.
“Make dinner for now, you can try to talk to them when you’re ready.” Naomi told him, walking away before Junichiro could argue further.
“It won’t be that easy…” Junichiro muttered. He spent time preparing the food, knowing that there would be a possibility of Jazzy not wanting any, but he enjoyed cooking, anyway; the hobby was something he had picked up ever since he had guardianship over Naomi.
—
Three plates were nicely set on the table, perfect timing for dinner. Junichiro dreaded the idea of upsetting Jazzy further, but he still decided that he’d offer dinner for them. “Naomi, dinner is on the table! I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Junichiro announced, watching Naomi walk to the dining room.
He swallowed nervously, neatly putting his apron away, making his way back down the hallway. He reluctantly knocked on the door. Jazzy groaned, muffled from the pillows and the closed door.
“Jazzzzy?“ Junichiro hesitated, standing in the doorway of their shared bedroom, bewildered when he saw Jazzy for the first time after one of their rare arguments. Their hair seemed much shorter than before, the brown locks were curled at the end like a wild garden, one that Junichiro always found appealing even after Jazzy cut it out of impulsive decisions like they had in the past.
“Yes, Tani? What’s the matter?” Jazzy urged him to continue. They were exhausted from the anger from the previous argument and wanted to hear what he had to say to them.
“N-Nothings wrong-! I promise.” Junichiro stuttered, glad that Jazzy didn’t visibly seem mad at him anymore. He sat beside them, offering his hand. Jazzy immediately accepted the offer, placing their hand in his, squeezing it, their shared signal of affection.
The gesture gave him the confidence to start his apology. “I’m really sorry.” Junichiro spoke up, moving his free hand to twirl a strand of their short hair, they definitely cut it; he could tell by the way some of the old strands were stuck within their hair.
After a few moments, he continued. “I know you’re upset. I am too, but I need to make sure that you’re okay.” He explained, trying to meet their gaze.
Jazzy didn’t speak at all, but they laid their head on his lap, their cheek laid against his stomach, their cooled tears falling down onto his warm skin. Junichiro sighed under his breath. Making Jazzy sad was something he hadn’t ever intended.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Junichiro questioned, rubbing their back in a way that was both firm and soft, sending a supportive energy between them. “Tanizaki, I’m alright!” Jazzy snapped, sinking further into his sweater. Their voice made him flinch, but he wasn’t going to back out now.
“It’s okay, we don’t have to talk right now.” He gently reassured them.
“Jun, I’m fine. You said what you said, and I overreacted. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” Jazzy started their apology, propping herself up to finally look at him, their eyes watered, but they didn’t let any more tears fall.
When Jazzy apologized for their emotions, he was quick to counter. “Don’t apologize for having a reaction. What I said won’t ever be okay, but we can’t stay mad about this forever.” He spoke quietly.
“I’m not mad at you.” Junichiro quickly added, letting them know that they could still open up to him. Jazzy didn’t speak anymore, just staying completely still, the bigger tears finally fell from her two toned eyes, dampening Junichiro’s sweater. Junichiro was patient, slowly stroking their head, careful not to upset her any further.
“I’m so sorry.” Jazzy repeated, their fists tugged at his sweater, pulling him down to them. Junichiro’s breath caught in his throat when Jazzy started to shake, another one of their panicked habits.
“Hey, hey, look at me, please?” He whispered, masking his own anxiety with a gentle expression. “I told you, you don’t have to talk or apologize.”
The words felt heavy to Jazzy, but they wiped their tears with their sleeve, letting out a quiet sigh. “I love you, Tani.” Jazzy whispered through the weight of the world between them.
“Jazzy, I adore you, my love. But you’re so stressed- and I caused this.” He complained, pulling them into a firm embrace, letting them cry without any judgement.
“I’m sorry.” Jazzy repeated, clinging onto him tighter, trembling. “Jaz…” Junichiro sighed, kissing their cheek, a quiet gesture. “Like I said,” He paused, kissing their lips gently before continuing. “Jazzy, I’m not mad at you.”
It was just the two of them in the moment. He kissed them again, softer this time. “God, I love you so much.” He whispered, pulling them onto his lap.
“I made us dinner, but we can stay in here as long as you need to.” Junichiro reminded, tightening the embrace.
Jazzy smiled against him, moving his hand to their thigh. “I love you too.” Jazzy said, placing a kiss to his collarbone. Neither of them moved. Jazzy laughed softly at the awkward tension. Junichiro played with her shorter hair, being gentle with the strands, watching the curls spring back with each playful tug.
“It looks bad.” Jazzy interrupted him before he could comment on it. “No, no— no. Jazzy, you’re so cute like this!” Junichiro protested, kissing their cheek again to make them shut up. They laughed together, stopping in sync when they remembered dinner.
“Do you want to eat something? I can order takeout if curry is too much?” Junichiro offered sweetly, making Jazzy roll their eyes with a grin. “Naomi is probably already done, and dinner is probably freezing by now.” Jazzy responded, mindlessly tracing patterns on his hand with their index finger.
“I’ll order takeout. It’s the least I can do.” Junichiro insisted, which Jazzy agreed to after a few seconds of hesitation. In the moment, Jazzy felt safe with Junichiro, knowing that they’d still make it out okay even if the two have bad days. The thought was comforting — Knowing that everything would be okay.