Chapter Text
You… wake up, in the same field as always. The grass pricks your back as usual and if you looked up, you would find that bright sun that outshines the other stars.
The point is that it’s the same as always. No matter how much you fail, you don't even wake up a second earlier. You briefly wonder if you are simply destined to fail.
Who knows if you’ll ever get free and if you do manage to break out, what will you do after? How will you hide your crimes from your family allies?
A familiar face leans over to greet you; gentle and kind, you’ve long etched her features into your mind.
She shouldn’t care for someone that trapped her, trapped everyone. You’ve probably infected them with your filth by just being near them… You attempt to wipe your hands clean by dusting them on your shirt.
When you blink, the person leaning over you is gone, introducing you to the blinding sun. Unfortunately, it doesn't blind you to the fact that they should all hate you, that you deceive them every loop with false joy and hope.
You've been horrible to them.
And they don't even remember half of it, which makes it worse… you think.
But shouldn't you be glad? Glad that they don't remember when you mess up and immediately kill yourself afterwards?
… You don't want to deceive them as you have anymore. It's heartbreaking to see them repeat lines, while you barely remember what you say in response .
Scratch that, you couldn't even defeat the king once; you were useless, you couldn't even manage to speak up and get killed by the king first. You're positively the worst ally -can you even be called that?- they could have. Without you, they probably could've gotten through the house, and you were the one to rush, the one that hid with every opportunity…
You just wish for someone who could help you. You wish that they were stronger than you, that they could take the initiative. And finally... You wish for a little help from someone who has what you don’t.
You need this……
You're so tired.
✦ . ⊹ ⋆ ── ⋅ ✧ ⋆ ☽✦☾ ⋆ ✧ ⋅ ── ⋆⊹ . ✦
You jolt awake, your rapid heart barely registered as your mind goes over the fact that you were crushed by a boulder. It felt too real to be just a dream. Did anyone else get hurt? Should you check on them??
… No, no, no, it must be a dream; people don't just survive being crushed alive!!! (You just don't want your friends to be hurt)
And besides, if it were real, you wouldn’t wake up in the same field as before, in the same position too… And if it was real, that means you can fix things! You can act as if you weren’t some blinding idiot that screws up everything!! It’s a win-win!
Distantly you feel your teeth grind against each other, hands tugging at any available clothing near you; you’re lying to yourself. You know you’re going to mess up something so bad that even time going backwards couldn’t help you, something that only you could mess up…
“-frin!” What? Is someone calling you? Do they remember or- “Siffrin!” Someone blocks your view of the sun, a familiar face, actually. A gentle smile lights up her features, and you can only smile back, humming in faux sleepiness.
“Hehe, good morning Siffrin… er, well good afternoon, actually… anyway! How was your nap?” … Now that you think about it, haven’t you heard this before? Or, or something similar?… You should think about that later. Right now, you have someone to talk to.
You decide to hum before answering… Do sleepy people do that? Well, it’s already happened. Instead of dwelling on your social mishaps, you decide to actually answer, “slept well.” Was that good enough? Did you deliver it correctly, or was it too disinterested? Or worse, maybe panicked??
Before you can dig yourself into a deeper hole, she smiles a little more, eyes pinched at the ends slightly as she answers. “Hehe, only you could sleep so soundly at a time like this!” That- that means you said everything right! You can do this!! Make things better even!
This’ll be a piece of cake! (Don't kid yourself)
“You’re still half asleep, aren’t you?” Was she saying something?!?! Stars, did this happen last time? What did she say? How would you fix it??
You’re about to answer when- “hrm, I suppose I’ll let you rest for a little while longer… but don’t sleep too long!!” you barely manage to nod before she runs off…
And now that she’s gone, you finally have a moment to think about past events without ruining a conversation. And thinking about what you do remember of the events that lead up to this- if anyone else got hit… Are they okay? They were all watching from afar, weren’t they? But- but what if there was a second boulder, or maybe a third? Should you check up on everyone again just to see if they remember?? But then if they don’t remember, they’ll probably see you as crazy! And then they would leave without you because you would ruin everything! So… that’s not an option.
So… what do you do? You can’t be suspicious, that’s a given… And… And you need to beat the King, if not to simply save the country, then to show your friends you’ve been a good choice to be on this team??
You stand up with those two goals in mind, ignoring the tremors in your hands and the way your eye flicks around nervously.
You have a country to save.
✦ ──────── ✦ ──────── ✦
(You got a MEMORY OF LOOPING!)
(You'll always remember this.)
✦ ──────── ✦ ──────── ✦
That’s… Good to know? You’ll have to find out later what it does, but at least you figured out it exists, you guess? You do like that you were told about it actually… You don’t think you would know if no one told you.
✦ ──────── ✦ ──────── ✦
[Memories are a type of item you can equip. Each Memory is specific to one character, and gives them special abilities.]
[For example, the Memory you just got can only be equipped by you. When Memory of Looping is equipped, it'll boost your MaxHP by +5 per loop.]
[You can equip Memories by opening your menu and going to the Equip section!]
✦ ──────── ✦ ──────── ✦
Oh! That's fun, you think... But maybe you won’t need this memory? The house may be littered with traps, but you’ll be more careful! You don’t want your family to get hurt somehow, so this is just another good reason you’re looping? Does that even make any sense? Stars, maybe you’ll need that memory to survive even a single hit from a sadness, or what if you go through so many loops that it’s the only thing that can help?
…
You start to walk to the village, tugging the brim of your hat down to cover a most likely sad-ridden face, the stars that adorn your hat hit against each other, making a soft jingle or clacking. it brings you some semblance of comfort
Before you can actually get to the town you see Mira walking over, was she here to wake you up again?
“Oh! Good afternoon, Siffrin! How did you nap?” She says, you think you'll just answer like you did last time? How did you answer?
“I slept… well?” … your voice pitched up at the end, that doesn't sound like someone who slept well, Siffrin!
Maybe you should practice it before actually saying it aloud; you don't want to sound like a liar…
And when you look back up at her, she seems concerned, eyebrows pinched, that went... far worse than you wanted!
“Still half asleep?” Her eyes pinch slightly before she smiles, “well! If you have time, I wanted to ask you something!”
You pretend to think before nodding, humming along with your answer. “Okay, so since this is the last night we'll spend together before we beat the king… I wanted to do something special! So…” she pauses; you wonder if she's hesitating? Whatever it is, you let her wait until revealing what you already know. “So I thought we could have a sleepover!!”
Oh, oh! This is where you messed up last time! And now this is where you can fix it? You can fix it, right? Well you might as well try..?
“That… sounds like a great idea, Mira!” That was cheerful enough, right? Or was it too cheerful, to the point that it sounded fake? You… you need to work on this more..
You decide smiling might sell the act a little more.
“Oh! You really think so?” You're unable to give a full nod before she starts speaking again.
“Oh, this will be so fun! And here I was thinking that it’s a little silly considering it's no different from what we normally do.”
Oh, that worked surprisingly well! And you made Mirabelle happy too!
“Can you tell everyone else, please?” After some actual thought, you answer, “Of course.” She gives a firm nod before rambling about where everyone is, like last time.
“-Do you think you'll remember that?” Well, if you don't, you can always explore… find some new people to talk to?
“... Yes?” You shift slightly, standing as still as you have has started to hurt.
“... Well, unrelated to your memory, here's a note telling you where everyone is!” Did you read the note last time? You probably did.
“Well! I'll be at the bench if you need me! Bye!”
You wave goodbye before deciding that you want to see Odile first.
You walk to the store with barrels all around it. You’re… Pretty sure that’s where Odile is? It’d be pretty embarrassing if it weren’t, but as you open the door and hear the soft jingling of the bells connected to it. You see Odile right around the corner looking at a shelf that has books or something similar.
You quickly glance at the owner of the shop before moving on to chat with Odile briefly. “Um… hey, Odile.” For some reason your hands sweat when you even think of speaking to her, like one glance at her and you’ve been figured out. It wasn’t like this before, was it?
“Oh, Siffrin,” she responds, looking down from the shelf to see a nervous you. Lightly tugging at your cloak, “Didn’t sleep well, I take it?”
Should… should you say the same with Odile as you did with Mira? But Odile notices everything. However, it will also keep your case solid…
“I slept fine!” That’s good enough…? Fine isn’t good or bad, at least you think? You should probably stop tugging on your cloak to be more convincing. Instead, you grab one of the star-shaped charms hanging from your hat, gently tracing its shape. You never noticed how smooth they were.
“... Riiiiiight, ignoring that, how may I help you?” Oh… Oh, she totally noticed; did you do that badly? You should try to do better when talking to the others…
“Uhm… Clocktower, sleepover.” Right, that’s what you were here to say. You wonder if you should talk to her any more than that. You,ve already messed up enough, no? If you said any more, she would know.
“A sleepover? Urgh… you guys really are kids.” You continue to fiddle with one of the stars hanging from your hat. It's like messing with your hair, but slightly better?
“We could forget about our problems..?” You don't sound as enthusiastic as before, but if everyone doesn't remember what happened then it should be fiiinee?
You briefly think about running away from this conversation.
But! Before you can do that, Odile responds! “... I suppose so, and besides, poor Boniface needs it.” You just decide to nod along at that point. It's useless to recount everything if you've heard it all before…
You awkwardly leave when you think she was done talking.
Next, you go to Bonnie. Talking about… something, maybe related to vegetables… it's not like you didn't want to listen to what they had to say; none of it stuck.
Ignoring the lack of memory, you go to talk to Isa after. You tell a ‘tree-mendous’ pun like you did before. (It's still funny!) He said the tree felt weird though… Maybe you should check it out?
And so you do, waiting until Isa is gone to check it, of course.
You walk closer and closer to the tree, checking the leaves first. You decide to grab one as you begin to duck under the tree's foliage, and you find… A star? Person? Star person?
You inch a bit closer before saying, “...Hello?” Your head tilts, letting the foliage fall behind you. It's comforting to be under the shade of the tree like this… Even with something bright like that star.
“Hello stranger~!” They speak in a… sardonic way? Or… or is it a lilt in their voice…??
But besides that, “you're-” you start before they interrupt.
“A star? Don't linger on it too much, Stardust!”... Stardust? You'll ask about it. They begin to cover their mouth while snickering. You shuffle around as they do, rolling back and forth on your heels.
You decide to ask, “... Stardust?” Your head tilts slightly as you talk, hands knitting together as you grind your teeth. You don’t particularly enjoy asking about nicknames… you don't like to call attention to the fact that people perceive you in the first place.
The star seems to smirk while answering you once more. “Well, just calling you Siffrin would be a little boring, no?” You can’t help but gasp in response, stepping back slightly.
“How do you-” And once again you are cut off by this mystery person.
“How wouldn’t I know~! You’re Sif! Siffrin!” They pause to take a breath (do stars even need to breathe?) “No middle names, no last names. Just Siffrin,” despite the earlier sass, they seem almost sad saying this? You can’t help but wonder why.
And just as you’re about to ask about it they begin to move on… “It’s no wonder you’re so surprised! This must be overwhelming, huh!” You nod slightly in agreement. Seeing a person with a star for a head is surprising, especially after you may have just recently died...
“-- This is your first loop of course~!” Your first??? There’s going to be more?! But if that’s true, wouldn’t that mean you could just never mess up? No matter what, you could go back?
“I can keep going back?” you ask. You feel like that would be important to know. You don’t want to die for no reason…
You notice that their expression changes, a more… uncomfortable one instead of the sly squint from before, or like they’re trying to grin but failing. Maybe talking about that at all was a bad idea…
They clap their hands together before talking. “Maybe we should stay away from looping too much~!”
You don’t fully know if you agree or not, but perhaps you should listen to them, especially if they know more than you.
“Well, why don’t we talk about something else, Stardust~” You nod. You don’t want to keep making them feel uneasy like this. “So then… What about..” You pause, thinking for a long second, humming as well. “Well, who are you?” You think that’s a good question!
You tap your fingers together as you wait, looking behind yourself a couple of times as well.
“Well, I guess you can call me… Loop! Here to help with the loops of course~” you guess that makes sense, albeit a little on the nose. “And for pronouns, you may address me with the royal we,.” they say something so strange so… confidently.
How would that even work, actually? You don’t think it would work… “Uhm, how exactly would I do that?” You silently wonder if that was the best way you could’ve phrased that. Your tone wasn’t bad, was it?
You decide to hide yourself in your cloak a little.
“Hmm… I suppose that doesn’t make sense, does it. Just they/them is fine then!” You watch as they tap their hands along the tree root where they sit while speaking.
Well, you suppose you should say your pronouns too? Well, I go by-” and once more you are cut off.
“He/they? I know, I checked your profile~!” That makes sense. Even if you don’t know what they mean by profile…
“My what?” You begin to tug on your cloak, looking down at the ground. Does being a saviour mean that everyone knows things about you? And if they do, how did they find it out?!
“Well anyway! I want to help, so ask away, Stardust!” Asking questions isn’t really your forte… And your head is starting to hurt anyway so why should you ask anything? You’ll ask if you ever get to a second loop..
“Oh, come on~ I know you’re dying to ask me something!” You huff a small sigh, maybe for their peace of mind or something..
“You said I was looping?” That’s a good first question, you think, and hopefully the last as well; you’re getting antsy just standing around like this.
It seems to be a good enough question because they’re snickering again, “Oh, good question, Stardust! Though you may want to sit down for this, you’ll need it~” You just do what they say at that point, sitting down at the opposite side of them to listen in and maybe ask some questions.
“Okay, so you’re stuck in a time loop! Fun I know!” they take a deep breath in. How much are they going to say? “So every time you die, you’ll loop back! And you’ll get to do it all over again.” You swing your feet back and forth idly as they talk; so far, it makes sense, can’t continue a loop if you’re dead.
“Which includes falling boulders!” You can’t help but shrink into yourself when they say that. It was a stupid way to die, really. You should’ve looked around more, and maybe you wouldn’t have failed..
“So you saw that?” You ask despite the fact they clearly did.
They giggle to themself before answering, “well, of course I did Stardust! I couldn’t help you if I didn’t see anything!” you begin to pick at the bark beside you. This is why you don’t ask questions!
“... Besides that, you must’ve noticed your pockets getting emptier, yes?” You simply respond with a simple nod this time. You should probably talk to Mira after this.
They continue. “You’re party members are even saying the same things, and everything you got disappeared…” You lean back to look at the leaves, stars on your hat creating a sound that soothes you as it did before.
You huff, waiting for them to get to their point, and after you’re silent for long enough, they do. “Well, you’ll have to pick up everything again if you want to be prepared!” They mutter something at the end of that sentence; you can’t help but wonder what.
“I guess I’ll pick it all up again…” you mumble. You like this person, (you feel like it would be rude to say otherwise but you truly aren't sure.) but you’re starting to get a little tired of all this… Most of what they said wasn’t too helpful, actually.
“Well, how about I tell you something fun~ You’re allergic to pineapples! So don’t eat them, okay?” … Is that true? Is it a mild allergy or, like, death? And if it’s Bonnie serving them, would it even be worth it to test it out..?
“... How allergic?” That’s a safe question, right? If they know other things about you, then they’re most likely telling the truth…
Loop is quick to respond, “Oh, like, reaallly allergic! Deadly!” So you shouldn’t try them if Bonnie serves pineapple, got it! You don’t want to hurt any of them. Wondering how you haven’t eaten pineapple before. You wouldn't have made it this far!
“And something else important is… you can zone out! You most likely did it before this but you can do it more consciously when someone is repeating what they said in the last loop!” Perking up at that! You couldn’t imagine having to listen in fully like that.
You swing your legs back and forth, for some reason that makes you giddy, so much so that you decide to thank them. “Thanks!” … Saying that felt gross.
“Ew!!! Shoo, Stardust, shoo!!” They begin to wave their hands at you, shooing you away. At this point, you just listen and walk away from the favour tree with an awkward wave.
You begin to stretch while walking, heading towards Mira like you wanted to. You’ll be able to test how zoning out works too… You can't help but feel a little bad about that.
But as you get to your destination, you forget that guilt immediately. Zoning out is… Weird to say the least. You think you just made her more nervous for most of the conversation, but that’s fine! If you loop, you can just undo mistakes! Over and over again until it’s all perfect.
You walk off feeling proud, maybe you can get through this, especially with Loops help!
You end up at the clock tower, eating the same dinner as last time. You don’t understand why you thought that might change, but you also note that it didn’t change, not even where they sat changed… You note that as well.
You start to eat when you’re interrupted by a certain star telling you that some things may be different. You keep nibbling on the samosas, though, and they’re still pretty good, kind of.
Dinner almost passes by like normal until Bonnie mentions you didn’t eat as much as usual, and you tug at your cloak when trying to make up an excuse they’ll buy… And then you sweat when Mirabelle starts again and you notice you deliver your line a little too late but it’s fine! They didn’t notice; they definitely didn’t!
You all go to bed early so you’re all prepared for the king, and just like usual, you wait for Isa to say what he wants to, and he fails to do it. Briefly wondering if one day he will, you know that all of this will get tiring soon… Bonnie throwing a pillow will get old and it will hurt to see, maybe even death will be mundane and usual… You don’t want to think about this any longer… You need to use your mind for actual problems.
You soon turn away from Isa, curling up and hugging your pillow. You try your best to cover your good eye as you struggle to get comfortable. Thinking about how only you will change. But maybe that’s good; you should be the only one hurting.
You fall asleep soon after that. You don’t remember if you dreamed when you wake up; you feel less rested than before. When you go to the house, everyone stands before it, holding each orb up to the sky before going in.
You see the same sadnesses as before, and again, just like before, you help Mira with them. Hesitantly playing along and attacking them for the tutorial, like before. You would rather go back with Bonnie and give them all tonics.
But this time you go into the wrong room, the room full of tonics. You do still collect all the little bottles, making a small break for it to go and grab the bell. It’s cute!
You play with the stars hanging from your hat as you walk to grab the key. You aren’t excited to get to the boulder but you also don’t want to waste their time…
You get to the boulder room.
As everyone waits at the back of the room, you anxiously check every pillar until you reach the one that kind of shines or sparkles. You carefully check all around it until you find the solution: a tiny switch that is almost impossible to see.
You spend a minute loathing yourself as you flip it, shakily turning to the group, you give a weak thumbs up,“I got it!” That… comes out worse than you wanted it to!
“... I suppose you did?” Odile responds first, and she’s… surprisingly… nervous? You don’t know why you expected her not to be scared of a giant falling boulder. But you digress.
You begin to walk back to them when Bonnie shouts, “that was scary!!” You can’t help but giggle in response, nodding in agreement, “... It was”
After everyone has gathered together, you make sure to ask Mira about there being anymore death corridors, “Death corridors?” She trails off for a second, thinking. “Uhm.. I’m pretty sure this is the only one!” She clasps her hands together nervously.
You still can’t help but hate that you missed that. If you just looked a little harder! If you were better, you just- you wouldn’t have failed! How many more times will you fail?
It’s fine… You can fix it now.
You barely hear what Odile says as you begin to walk away from the boulder that crushed you last loop; you don’t want to think about how much it hurt. You walk a little faster.
Once you get to the next you stretch once more, there are two paths you could go… You wander around for a bit. The two other rooms. But eventually you end up taking the right path, hiding from a stray sadness by going into another room that has a couple of tonics! It makes you glad you hid in here!!
You explore everything else carefully before leaving and dashing away from the sadness that you hid from before. The stars jingle loudly as you run.
Up ahead you spot something… Interesting? It seems like water, kind of bobbing up and down. Like it’s trying to stay in the air.
As you come to a stop, everyone surrounds the tear. You awkwardly point to it, “what’s that?” letting your arm fall right after you ask. You still think the way it floats is almost soothing; you could watch it for hours.
“Some floating water?” Isa half answers, you know that he isn't too sure himself. He seems pretty interested in it too!
Bonnie surprisingly jumps in, they look proud, “I’ve heard about it from the people in Dormont!! They call ‘em tears!” You begin to tune them out as you look at the reflection in the water. It… Scares you? The person has a torn hat and shorter hair, stars their cloak is torn as well…
You notice one main difference though, that being their expression. One eyebrow is pulled up slightly, a curious expression as they look you up and down. You shrink back a little seeing it.
They move their hand to… poke at you? And you prepare to run when you feel something abruptly push you from behind, your arms fail to flail around as you feel the tear make contact, a coldness hitting you square in the stomach. It seeps into your cloak despite the thick material often protecting you from the cold normally.
You don’t have a chance to scream as you are frozen by the tear as-.
You feel a tug on your stomach.
[this art is from Smack!!! Make sure to check out their post as well to also see my art I dunnoooo :P]
