Chapter Text
Lee Jihye’s eye twitched as she took in the scene before her. Now, there wasn’t anything wrong with being touchy with your friends; she thrived off of cuddling with Jang Hayoung and Na Bori on the couch during movie nights, but there was a limit. As far as Lee Jihye was concerned, the line between friendship and romance had always been clear. But Master and that ugly ahjussi seemed to trod over it all the time. Just like right now.
Sprawled out on the bed with their limbs tangled together, Kim Dokja was sleeping on a shirtless Yoo Joonghyuk. Both were peacefully unaware of the turmoil they were causing. Kim Dokja murmured something in his sleep, burrowing further into the taller man’s chest. Yoo Joonghyuk tightened his arm around Kim Dokja’s waist in response, the other hand curling at his nape as he sighed softly.
Lee Jihye resisted the urge to scream.
Instead, she carefully lifted her camera and took a photo.
Sorry, Master. But as your favorite disciple I am obligated to help you understand what you cannot see.
This would be entered into evidence for her intervention.
It didn’t take long for Lee Jihye to complete her investigation. She had managed to collect more than sufficient evidence, and as well as accounts from several eyewitnesses. Now, all she needed was to make the powerpoint. She was taking this very seriously.
Yoo Joonghyuk was one of the most intelligent people she knew, but hanging out with that squid ahjussi must have lowered his IQ somehow. The Master she knew would never be so ambiguous with his intentions; he would pursue his lover earnestly and boldly confess his love. Therefore, Lee Jihye had to open his eyes, to show him what he was missing out on.
She’d even missed her training session with Yoo Joonghyuk for this, but she knew he would later thank Lee Jihye for her sacrifice.
Pulling up the powerpoint, she began compiling the evidence and witness accounts after a good thirty minutes of deciding on a theme. She had chosen a serious theme titled “Crime Scene Investigation,” feeling that it would set the mood.
After a ridiculous amount of time spent on transitions and changing fonts, Lee Jihye closed her computer shut with a satisfied sigh. Now, all she had to do was present her case.
The intervention was to take place in Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk’s house. To everyone, it was just their monthly meet up, but Lee Jihye had other plans.
Kim Dokja opened the door, doing a double take when he saw the crisp three-piece suit Lee Jihye had on.
“...Am I missing out on something?” He questioned, staring dumbly as Lee Jihye strutted past, looking severely underdressed in comparison.
He was in just an oversized t-shirt that was no doubt Yoo Joonghyuk’s and shorts. The sight would have made Lee Jihye squeal in the past, but today she was all business.
“You shall see.” She said cryptically.
Kim Dokja seemed to relax when the others marched in wearing regular clothes, looking equally as confused.
Yoo Joonghyuk was sprawled on the couch, dressed in a black compression shirt and sweatpants when Lee Jihye entered the living room. He raised an eyebrow as he took in her outfit.
“Important occasion.” Lee Jihye informed him, and he grunted in response. That was Master’s equivalent of an okay.
Everyone shuffled into the apartment. Han Sooyoung had already started wandering into the kitchen, but Lee Jihye stopped her, clearing her throat.
“Everyone, please take a seat. This is no ordinary gathering. This is an emergency intervention.”
The lights dimmed dramatically, (she’d asked Lee Gilyoung to turn them off) and everyone gathered onto the couch and the chairs nearby curiously.
“Man, I was just about to get some food.” Han Sooyoung started to grumble, but couldn’t hide the curiosity in her voice. She slumped onto the ground, resting her back on the couch as she slipped her arm around Yoo Sangah’s shoulders.
Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung took the chairs nearby, and everyone else piled onto the couch. Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung fought over who got to sit next to Dokja, only to droop in dismay as a smug Yoo Joonghyuk wrapped his arm around their ahjussi’s shoulders and pulled Kim Dokja towards him, interlocking their fingers. They soon realized they had bigger problems as an excited Uriel started making grabby hands at the kids.
“Silence!” Lee Jihye declared, quite satisfied with the way everyone quietened and stilled immediately.
“As I mentioned, we are here today to stage an intervention.”
Lee Jihye clicked the remote, and bold text appeared on the slide.
[EMERGENCY INTERVENTION: GETTING MASTER AND AHJUSSI TOGETHER.]
There was a stunned silence. Then Uriel let out a delighted whoop as she started clapping, and soon everyone followed, albeit confused.
“Wait a minute! I object!” Lee Gilyoung cried out, trying to stand up as he was pulled into Uriel’s lap.
Kim Dokja opened his mouth to also speak, but Lee Jihye was faster. She knew of the man’s squid-like(?) tendencies, and would not let him weasel his way out of this intervention.
“Now is not the time for objections or questions. Please save those for the end.” Lee Jihye stated diplomatically.
“This is ridiculous.” Yoo Mia muttered under her breath. Yoo Joonghyuk ruffled his sister’s hair.
“As I was saying…” Lee Jihye clicked to the next slide.
[01: Background Info]
“I’m sure you don’t need too much background on their “companionship,” but as Master’s favorite disciple—” Lee Jihye ignored Kim Namwoon’s indignant yell, “I know all about him and ahjussi, and will lay the foundation for you.”
“Master met ahjussi in high school, and both of them fell quickly in love…”
A surprisingly detailed sketch of a CEO-looking Yoo Joonghyuk and Y/N-looking Kim Dokja staring at each other lovingly in high school uniforms appeared on the screen. Lee Jihye pressed the button again, and cherry blossoms appeared on the screen, surrounding the two boys.
Han Sooyoung wheezed at the picture, slapping a hand over her knee as she shook. Jung Heewon was smiling into her palm as Lee Hyunsung glanced around confused.
Kim Dokja’s face was bright red, but Yoo Joonghyuk looked…amused? No, Lee Jihye must have been mistaken.
“Stop it! Hyung would never fall for someone as sleazy as the sooty bastard!” Lee Gilyoung protested.
“That picture is an insult to oppa’s beauty.” Yoo Mia harrumphed.
“Okay, that’s NOT what happened–mmphh!” Han Sooyoung leaned over to cover Kim Dokja’s mouth with a shit-eating grin.
“You heard her, no talking until the end.”
Kim Dokja scowled, curling back into Yoo Joonghyuk’s arms. Shin Yoosung patted his arm consolingly.
“BUT!...Neither of them knew how the other person really felt.” Lee Jihye continued, eliciting sympathetic noises from Uriel. “And so…they never acted on their feelings.”
“Which brings us to the present day.” She declared. “It’s been over a decade, and sadly…both Master and the ugly ahjussi are still in love and doing nothing about it.”
Lee Jihye paused for dramatic effect as the cherry blossoms disappeared, and a sketch of an older looking Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja staring at each other longingly like star-crossed lovers in greyscale appeared, with sad music in the background.
After another moment of silence, she coughed. Had they forgotten the cue?
“Oh no! We can’t let this go on!” Jang Hayoung and Na Bori added hurriedly, the perfect segway into the next slide.
“Don’t worry. I would never let that happen.” Lee Jihye said seriously.
[02: The Intervention]
Dramatic music played. Lee Jihye steeled her nerves. This was it. Her Master and the ugly ahjussi’s future depended on this.
“In this intervention, I will prove to you that Master and ahjussi are in love, with proof. And in doing so, convince the two of them to get together.”
There was a raucous applause. Han Sooyoung popped a lemon lollipop in her mouth, sprawling across the floor as she waited. Lee Gilyoung was fuming in Uriel’s lap. Kim Dokja still refused to look at Lee Jihye, red as a tomato. Yoo Joonghyuk stared appraisingly.
“First, I present Exhibit A: Not-so-platonic cuddling.”
Lee Jihye revealed Exhibit A, the photograph she’d taken of Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk asleep the week before.
The reaction was instant.
“How…when did you even take this?” Kim Dokja cried.
Uriel squealed, leaping up to snatch the photo from Lee Jihye’s hand, clutching it to her chest, Lee Gilyoung falling out of her lap in the process. Kim Dokja scooped him into his arms, and for a moment, the boy actually didn’t seem to mind the archangel’s fujoshi tendencies, satisfied in his hyung’s arms.
“I can die happy now!” Uriel declared, through Han Sooyoung’s cackling. Lee Jihye quickly yanked back the photo, displaying it on the projector.
“I will be calling in the jury now.” Lee Jihye said, and Jang Hayoung, Na Bori, and Kim Namwoon walked up to the front of the room.
“Hold up—jury? Why does this sound like a trial?” Kim Dokja questioned weakly, but was silenced by Lee Jihye’s death glare. She’d learned that from Master.
“After seeing the exhibits for themselves, they will vote on whether this is platonic or romantic behavior. In the end, if they believe it is romantic, you and Master must get together.”
Lee Jihye cleared her throat.
“As you can see, in Exhibit A, the two defendants are cuddling—” Uriel gasped. “-in their shared bed-” More gasps. “--shirtless!”
“How scandalous.” Han Sooyoung commented.
“Skin-to-skin contact!” Uriel covered the blood dripping from her nose.
“Someone kill me now.” Kim Dokja buried his face in his hands.
“...And there’s more!” Lee Jihye said. “Look at the hand placement! Master’s hand is wrapped around ahjussi’s waist, and the other is running through his hair. Members of the jury…is this mere platonic behavior?”
“Of course not! I vote romantic.” Na Bori said confidently, and Jang Hayoung nodded in agreement.
“Kim Namwoon?” Lee Jihye prompted, when the other boy remained silent.
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with cuddling with your friends…” Kim Namwoon said with the kind of shit-eating grin he wore whenever he wanted to instigate something with her. “What’s wrong with being touchy? Besides, you can’t control your body when you’re asleep.”
A wide grin spread across Lee Jihye’s face. Kim Namwoon had unknowingly given her the opportunity to whip out another piece of evidence to prove her point.
“That’s a great point, Kim Namwoon.” Lee Jihye said. Kim Namwoon’s face turned red as he looked away. “R-really?”
“But! Your logic is fallible. You see, when Master and the rest of our team were overseas for our martial arts competition last month, I was careful to observe his interactions with the rest of us.”
Lee Jihye pulled up another picture. It was Lee Hyunsung and Yoo Joonghyuk asleep on a shared hotel bed.
“What am I doing here?” Lee Hyunsung muttered, concerned.
“Hyunsung oppa and Master are good friends. They’re known each other for almost seven years. But can’t you tell the difference between this…” Lee Jihye pointed to the photo. “...and this?” Her finger traveled to Exhibit A.
“There is a clear divide on the bed between Hyunsung oppa and Joonghyuk oppa. They’re not even facing the same way!” Jang Hayoung agreed.
“And he’d not caressing Hyunsung oppa’s waist either.” Na Bori added. Lee Hyunsung turned a bright shade of red at the image, and Jung Heewon rubbed his shoulder consolingly.
“And look at them now! They’re cuddling!” Lee Jihye insisted, pointing an accusing finger at the pair on the couch, as Kim Namwoon debated internally. Kim Dokja at least had the decency to look guilty from where he was curled up against Yoo Joonghyuk. Her Master didn’t even look bothered, rubbing his thumb soothingly over Kim Dokja’s knuckles.
Kim Namwoon sighed, defeated.
“Fine, you win. I vote romantic too.”
Lee Jihye resisted the urge to pump her fist in the air. She had to remain professional.
“That settles it. Exhibit A was voted romantic on a count of 3-0.” She declared triumphantly. “We have 2 more exhibits left, and then we will listen to the witness accounts.” Lee Jihye announced.
“There’s witness accounts too?!” Kim Dokja looked mortified.
Yoo Mia sighed.