Chapter Text
And the clichés I knew
Seem so commonplace when I saw you
The cool evening air brushed against Pat's face as he stood on the villa's rooftop. The city stretched out beneath him, more chaotic than ever, lights flickering in the distance. Yet none of it compared to the chaos inside his own head.
Years had passed since he and Ryujin first met through mutual friends, but somehow Pat had never truly figured out what went on inside the other's mind. Ryujin had started out as just another boy in their circle; someone he occasionally crossed paths with. Somehow, though, he had become so much more than that.
Sure, they had drifted apart for a while, but the moment Pat saw Ryujin walk through that door during the filming of Season 2, something had changed and his heart had never quite gone back to normal after that. Every time they shared a glance, every time their fingers accidentally brushed or one of their friends teased them, his heart always seemed to beat just a little faster.
It’s too hard to describe this
In a way that feels honest
He knew this moment would come inevitably; every year a new season was produced and there was no way they wouldn’t be invited again, as at the end of the previous season, they had both chosen themselves.
Well... mostly. There had been a moment, however brief, when Pat found himself staring at the sleep masks with everyone's names written on them and without even realizing it, his hand had reached for the one with Ryujin's name.
He had pulled back immediately afterward, refusing to think about what it meant. Maybe because he was afraid the feeling wasn't mutual or just because he was still too young for something like this. The truth is probably that some truths are easier to ignore than face.
But even when I'm quiet
I love you, baby, I promise
Now that he was standing here, though, he couldn't avoid it anymore. For the past few months, Ryujin had somehow been everywhere, whether they meant to or not, they always ended up finding their way back to each other. They would meet at university, at work, during nights out with their friends.
If Pat had to describe Ryujin, he would call him a quiet presence, someone who mostly observed the world from the sidelines. Yet somehow, once Ryujin became part of your world, it was impossible not to notice when he wasn't there, and Pat knew that better than anyone. His absence affected him far more than it should have: during the mornings when the seat beside him at university was empty, during the events Ryujin couldn't attend, when his messages were left unanswered because he had probably fallen asleep with his phone still in his hand. But this is something Pat would never admit out loud.
And I hope I never see what your face looks like going
A face I swear that I could spend my whole life knowing
The truth is that Pat already knew the answer to the question that had been tormenting him for weeks, he hadn't even needed to search for it because choosing Ryujin felt as natural as breathing.
Something that happened without thinking, something you found yourself doing before you even realized it. It was a choice that had already been made long ago, in every shared laugh during a livestream, in every private moment when nobody else was around, in every tease, in every song sung while looking into each other's eyes as the rest of the world seemed to disappear around them, in every exam they survived together, in every pout Pat put on simply to get a reaction out of him.
Would you sit and keep me company?
In the dark, I'm not scared
I just reach and you're right there
Yet Pat couldn't stop being afraid as the weight inside his chest only grew heavier. Ryujin was a great friend. He obviously cared about Pat, but would he choose him?
There were so many people who would make amazing partners, people who were probably even better choices. Ever since arriving at the villa, the two of them had barely spoken at all. Maybe this was Ryujin's way of telling him, maybe this was the answer Pat had been too afraid to ask for.
After all, if Ryujin had wanted to choose him, wouldn't he have said something by now? Wouldn't he have looked for him? Wouldn't he have brought it up, even once?
Instead, they had spent the past few days acting almost like strangers. Nothing more than a smile across the room or a brief conversation before someone pulled one of them away.
Shooting stars, racing cars
Everything I own just feels like ours
Here he was now, standing on the rooftop while the wind messed up the hair the stylists had spent so long fixing earlier. The cold air brushing against his face was the only thing capable of pulling him away from his thoughts.
He thought about the past few months they had spent together. He would be lying if he said Ryujin hadn't made him feel special and that was exactly the problem. Maybe he had gotten so used to the way Ryujin looked at him, laughed with him, always seemed to find his way back to him, that he had started believing it meant something more.
But Ryujin had always been like that, hadn't he?
Pat had lost count of how many times their friends had complained about the trouble Ryujin's eyes got him into. The way he looked at people, the way he smiled, the way he could make someone feel like they were the only person in the room without even trying.
And Pat had just been another victim of it, right? Maybe it was his own fault for turning those moments into something more, for replaying them over and over until they felt special, because when he really thought about it, Ryujin had never treated him any differently.
He had treated Pat exactly the way a good friend would.