Work Text:
(hi so, i've Finally opened a twt/x acc so follow me here hehe shameless plug lol kbye)
─ ⊹ ⊱ ⊰ ⊹ ─
iwaizumi was used to oikawa’s shenanigans. the latter hasn’t toned down a single bit despite graduating high school two years ago – and somehow, iwaizumi was always his ‘one call away’. bad day at university? iwaizumi was ready with their usual beer and milk bun combination. fought with some fling? iwaizumi was there to be his punching bag of rants (and beer and milk buns).
whatever, whenever, wherever, he would be there.
to oikawa, he believed it was simply because they were best friends. they’ve known each other for so long that anyone who knew oikawa, knew iwaizumi. and oikawa always appreciated him for it, although he wouldn’t explicitly say it very often.
but to iwaizumi, it was more than that. everything he did for his best friend didn’t come from a place of platonic love, but it definitely started out that way. and you may think: why won’t he ever say anything? he was scared. he was no stranger to oikawa’s gorgeous face – the guy has literally had admirers of all genders since high school – and though most envied how close he was to the setter, he never thought he had a chance with him.
so even if it hurt to think he’d forever be in the (best) friend zone, iwaizumi would be there the moment oikawa needed him.
and it especially hurt when the reason for the late-night calls was because oikawa cried again.
“i hate dating,” oikawa slumped over the table, beer in hand, “all people ever do is hurt you. i can’t do this anymore, iwa!”
now this, of course, wasn’t the first time oikawa’s said this. iwaizumi can’t remember how many failed talking stages his best friend had. all he knows is he was there for every heartbreak, ready to be his shoulder to cry on.
“i told you, just focus on yourself.”
“i know, i know.” oikawa raised his right hand, still holding the beer. “this time, i promise! this year is for me, and me only!”
whether it was a relief for iwaizumi, he didn’t know either. sure it hurt seeing oikawa with somebody else, but would it hurt more if oikawa had closed his doors completely? maybe.
“it’s just, this time, i don’t even know what i did! we were fine last week, and then suddenly, he wants to end things? people are so confusing…”
these late nights were always like this – oikawa ranting, with iwaizumi just sitting quietly, listening to him. sometimes he’d offer a response or two, but he often let the setter do the talking. that’s how oikawa liked it anyway.
but tonight seemed different. oikawa was emptying beer bottles faster than usual, and iwaizumi didn’t know whether to stop him.
“waiter! another bo- hic- bottle!”
“are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“yes! you should get another one, haji!”
and there it was, two of oikawa’s drunken indicators: hiccuping and calling iwaizumi by that damned nickname the former ace wished he just stuck to.
“i’m good. i still have to bring you home, you know. it’s no good for either of us if we both can’t walk straight by the end of this evening.
“boo! killjo- hic- joy!”
as the waiter arrived with oikawa’s nth beer, he glanced at iwaizumi, concerned. the latter just nodded apologetically. he didn’t usually meddle with their sessions, especially because he knew how helpful it actually was (it doesn’t seem like it, but oikawa would be back to his confident and joyful self by the morning). however, seeing how fast he got to his drunken state, iwaizumi knew he had to stop it early.
he signaled for the waiter to come closer, and whispering, he said, “don’t give him any after this. if he asks, just serve water. at this rate, he won’t even know the difference,” to which the waiter nodded and left.
turning back to his companion, iwaizumi glanced at oikawa, who still rested his head on the table… except this time, he turned his head to stare at the former ace, earning him a faint blush. he probably didn’t notice it, or maybe he did and just wanted to push iwaizumi’s buttons further.
“have i ever told you how incredibly attractive you are?”
those words instantly rendered iwaizumi speechless. as a matter of fact, oikawa had never said that, nor did he ever think he’d hear him do so.
“why aren’t you saying anything? i’m serious, haji!”
this was a drunk oikawa he had only encountered once before: the flirty one. and it was dangerous, mainly for iwaizumi’s heart.
“your eyes are so pretty!” oikawa pointed at them.
“your nose too,” and he giggles. he fucking giggles, and iwaizumi swears he forgot how to breathe.
“oi, stop that.”
“why? don’t you love getting praised, haji?”
“what?”
“i love your hair too… it’s so soft!” oikawa proceeds to sit up and lean closer to gently play with his hair.
“okay, that’s enough. you’re extremely drunk, i’m taking you home.”
“noooooo, i don’t want to! hic- not yet!”
oikawa slumped his head again, hiding his face. he murmured a few things inaudible to iwaizumi before quieting down. the latter poked his shoulder, but he didn’t respond to it. after a few more pokes, he stayed still.
“did you seriously fall asleep?”
iwaizumi groaned. it also wasn't the first time oikawa slept on him mid-drink, so iwaizumi knew how much harder it was going to be to get him to leave. once oikawa fell asleep, the next couple of hours would be spent trying to wake him up. it would also be the most tiring part of the night.
sighing in defeat, iwaizumi decided to let him rest. oikawa actually liked this most recent guy to the point that he brought him during one of seijoh’s lunch dates, which he seldom did with any of his pasts. mattsun even got tired of hearing iwaizumi bitch about how the guy seemed great, and he was pissed because they might even get married. so this breakup also came as a shock to him.
stupid fucker, iwaizumi thought, taking his final sip of the one beer he ordered, does he even realize how lucky he is?
the waited approached them again, offering to clear their table, which iwaizumi gladly accepted. he also asked if it would be possible to stay a bit longer, just until oikawa’s rested. stay as long as you’d like, was all he said, earning him a smile (and a generous tip) from iwaizumi.
“haji… me..” oikawa talked in his sleep.
“what-”
“i…” the setter trailed off, the next words inaudible yet again.
“you’re one weird guy, you know?”
iwaizumi had started talking to his sleeping companion. his tolerance for alcohol was much lower than what most people expect, hence why he usually only ordered one bottle. the one time he got blackout drunk was during one of mattsun’s house parties, and he became an unfiltered, dancing fucker. the morning after, when photos and videos of his actions were sent to their group chat, iwaizumi swore he’d never let anyone see that version of him again.
but again, tonight was different. and it was apparently so not only for the setter in front of him, but also for iwaizumi.
“i.. love..” oikawa spoke again.
love? was it about that guy?
relatively sober (at least enough to be grounded), and thoughts clearer than oikawa’s skin, he felt a burst of confidence take over. wherever it came from, he didn’t know. maybe it was oikawa’s sudden urge to flirt with him, or the way he heard his name come of the setter’s mouth, implying he was dreaming of him, or both.
“i don’t even understand why you love him.” iwaizumi spoke as if the setter could hear him. “i mean, he clearly treated you like shit. you could do so much better than that…”
i’m right here, he wanted to say.
“haji…”
wait, him? was oikawa talking about him? no, he couldn’t possibly… right?
“i wish i knew what you were thinking.” iwaizumi rested his chin on his left hand, staring. “i wish you knew what i was thinking…” he thought twice before continuing,
“because then, you’d know… how much i actually love you.”
─ ⊹ ⊱ ⊰ ⊹ ─
an hour later, iwaizumi managed to successfully wake oikawa up. after a couple of glasses of water, they left the bar.
“i had a good dream.” oikawa broke the silence of their walk home. “i don’t remember much, but i know i felt good.”
“that’s good to hear.”
iwaizumi didn’t bother mentioning how he heard him talk or even mention his name. he figured there was no reason to do so, and oikawa would probably just feel more embarrassed if he ever found out. it was a secret he was going to keep for himself.
the rest of the walk was quiet, like it always was with every drinking session. oikawa managed to sober up (a bit; he still kept stumbling at some point), making it much easier for iwaizumi to handle him. the two enjoyed the comfortable silence, feeling the cool breeze. and whether it was on purpose or not, oikawa’s left hand found itself lightly grazing iwaizumi’s right. no one said anything about it the entire time, though.
this feels nice. feels right.
when they got to oikawa’s doorstep, iwaizumi wished him a good night before starting to head out.
“iwa- haji!”
“yeah?”
“thank you, always.”
“huh?”
“just.. thank you.”
iwaizumi flashed him a smile, still confused about what underlying meaning those words had, if any. oikawa had an unreadable look on his face – smiling, but with eyes that looked like they had something else they wanted to say.
whatever it was, he headed home anyway, feeling a different kind of longing.
─ ⊹ ⊱ ⊰ ⊹ ─
back in his room, oikawa quickly plopped on his bed, taking his phone out. he scrolled through his contacts with unmatched speed, searching for a name that is all too familiar to him.
oikawa
can i call?
ok im not waiting
im calling
“pick up, pick up..”
the line clicked.
“oh my god, hi.”
“why are you calling so late? i was asleep..”
“sorry, i just have to tell you this before i sleep because i might still be drunk and forget in the morning, although i’m pretty sure i’m fine.”
“ugh, what happened now?”
“it’s iwa… he.. uh..”
“i have a bed to go back to, kawa.”
“you’re still so mean to me, tobio!”
on the other end, oikawa could hear blankets shuffling and a murmur in the background asking who it was. he could hear kageyama whispering to someone before turning his attention back to the older.
“i stepped out, you’re gonna wake him up.”
“sorry, except i’m not really sorry. listen to me!”
“okay, okay. what happened?”
“i was out drinking and... iwa told me he loves me.”
this earned a gasp from kageyama and a clearly flustered oikawa continued rambling on about what he heard. which, iwaizumi was unaware, was everything.
“so? do you love him?”
“that’s a stupid question, tobio. of course i do.”
“not like that, but as more than a friend.”
oikawa didn’t respond for a couple of seconds. he’s always loved iwaizumi, of course, he did; they were best friends. but with the time they spent together, he was unsure whether he ever thought of him that way.
“well, whatever the answer, you need to tell him. if you do, then great! you can live happily ever after. if you don’t, then do him a favor and let him move on.”
oikawa didn’t say anything more and hung up, letting kageyama head back to his nightly rest. he knew his junior was right – after everything iwaizumi had done for him, he at least deserved a clear answer on whatever the next steps would be. but first, he should probably tell him he heard (and remembered) everything he said.
how was he even going to start figuring his shit out?
─ ⊹ ⊱ ⊰ ⊹ ─
“why are we here?”
“kawa needs help, babe. he practically begged me to come here today.”
oikawa rolled his eyes at the couple seated in front of him. he didn’t want to ask, but who better to help him with love problems than his beloved (?) junior and his long-term boyfriend, tsukishima. and he did beg kageyama, which took every fiber of his being to even do.
“let me get this straight, iwaizumi confessed to you, thinking you were asleep?” tsukishima was trying to make sense of the situation.
oikawa nods.
“and it’s been two weeks, you haven’t told him, and you’ve been avoiding him?”
oikawa hesitates before nodding again.
“stupidity at its finest. guess i know where tobio got it from.” the blond face palms, earning him glares from the setter duo with that remark.
“so what kind of help do you need?”
“how do i know if i love him back?”
“you’ve been dating before this, right? have you loved any of them?”
“uh, no, i don’t think so?” oikawa rubs his chin. “i mean i’ve liked some of them a lot, but i don’t know if you could call it love.”
“love is pretty subjective,” tsukishima continued, “it varies from person to person, so i don’t know how we could even help…”
“how’d you know you love each other?”
kageyama slightly blushed as tsukishima wrapped an arm around his shoulders. it’s been years, yet oikawa still gags at the sight of them. it was such an unexpected couple, but they really were adorable together to the point that it was annoying. how could kageyama settle down before oikawa? he one-upped him… again!
“i guess i just knew? we were on a date after nationals, and tobio was trying to figure out how to eat this weird-ass dessert we ordered. i pretty much just blurted the three words right then and there.”
“you two are sickening.” oikawa rolled his eyes, yet again.
“fuck off, you’re just jealous.” kageyama retorted. “just look back on your time with him. has he ever made you feel differently than all those other people you’ve dated?”
their little lunch date was deemed ineffective by oikawa, not because the couple wasn’t helpful (they actually provided such good insights) but because he left the restaurant still confused about his own feelings. and the worst part was that he didn’t understand why he was so confused. didn’t he come running to iwaizumi that night because the guy he was dating just broke up with him, and because he liked that guy a lot?
liked… not loved.
as oikawa treaded on home, it wasn’t long before the breeze brought a familiar scent to him, causing him to stop right in his tracks. he didn’t dare look up because he knew what he’d see if he did, he knew what he had to face, and he wasn’t ready for it.
“hey, tooru.”
oikawa hesitated before glancing up to face the figure that somehow made himself home in the setter’s mind for the past two weeks. he gave him an uneasy smile, which was definitely not subtle. he wasn’t ready to talk; he didn’t even get the chance to reflect on their time together! get out of here, was the only thing on his mind.
hoping to save himself from the awkwardness of this encounter, he started walking past iwaizumi, but the latter quickly held his hand to stop him. the sudden contact made oikawa’s heart skip a beat, his ears turn red, and his palms sweat more than they usually do.
“tooru, why are you avoiding me?”
iwaizumi asked in the softest way he’s ever spoken to oikawa, fear evident in his tone. truth be told, iwaizumi had trouble sleeping at night since the latter had stopped speaking to him for reasons he didn’t quite understand. he tried on multiple occasions – flooding their private chat, leaving multiple missed calls, and even waiting for oikawa in spots he knew he’d find him.
“did i do something wrong? please, say something…”
iwaizumi’s hold on him wasn’t firm. in fact, oikawa could easily set himself free and walk away if he wanted to, so why didn’t he? the entire time, his eyes were only focused on their hands, holding each other so gently, looking like they fit so well together. so when he shifted his focus to finally make eye contact with iwaizumi, his walls came crashing down.
iwaizumi looked so defeated, so hurt, and suddenly, all oikawa wanted to do was hug him. maybe even comfort him the way the former ace did for him so many times before, he was too caught up in his emotions that he didn’t realize how hurtful his actions may have been.
“haji…”
“if you don’t want me in your life anymore, i would let that happen if that’s what you truly wanted. but i wish you’d just tell me why, tooru… did i hurt you?”
“no! no, you didn’t…” oikawa took a deep breath before continuing, “it’s the opposite, actually.”
“what do you mean?”
“that night, i heard you. i know you love me, haji, and not as friends.”
with the reveal, iwaizumi’s expression quickly changed from confusion to shock.
“well, i really did fall asleep, but then you started saying these things, so i just… pretended to. i heard everything, haji.”
“tooru, i-”
“it’s okay, really. i was avoiding you because i was confused. i didn’t know how i felt, but i knew that i liked hearing it. and i wasn’t sure if i could face you without understanding these things i’m feeling… i don’t want to hurt you, haji…”
iwaizumi let oikawa’s hand go, immediately missing the warmth. he stepped closer instead, and cupped the setter’s face, putting their foreheads together (he enjoyed this more than hand-holding for sure).
“i love you, tooru. i have loved you for as long as i can remember, and it’s okay if you still don’t know if you feel the same way. i’m willing to wait for you… i mean, i’ve already been here for years, what’s a couple more, right?”
“haji… you don’t have to. you deserve so much more than that.”
“shh, it’s okay. i have literally seen you go head over heels for other people while having these feelings, this is nothing... and i want to wait, so please let me.”
oikawa smiled, “okay.”
oikawa knew how lucky he was to have someone like iwaizumi in his life. whenever he’d call iwaizumi for late-night sessions, he was always so quick to respond, and oikawa always felt like he didn’t show enough appreciation for it, even though he did do things for iwaizumi in return.
so this time, it was his turn to return years' worth of favors. maybe this is what tsukishima meant when he said you’d just know; it was rare for people to find their person, and for the first time, oikawa felt like he'd found him – the person who had always been there, through the ups and downs, and has still looked at him with the same kind of admiration he always did, regardless of whatever stupid shit he got himself into.
iwaizumi loved him a lot; it’s sinking in, and maybe he really did love him too.
but he knew iwaizumi deserved better than some sudden declaration of love. after all, he had just come from a breakup a few weeks ago, so he was going to sort his feelings out properly, and when he was finally ready and sure of himself, he was going to end his wait.
it could take weeks, months, and hopefully not years, but when it did come, he’d hoped iwaizumi was still there, ready to welcome him with open arms (spoiler: he is). so for now, he was just going to savor the moment: his best friend’s hands now wrapped around him, feeling every heartbeat, and warmth that he wishes he could feel every day.
oikawa would someday love iwaizumi the way he was meant to be loved – surely, loudly, and fondly – he’d make sure of it.
wait for me, hajime.
end.