Chapter Text
After Tim and Lucy got married, it was another three months before they had a serious discussion about kids.
They were in bed one night, Lucy lying on Tim’s chest with his arm curled protectively around her. They’d settled into a comfortable silence the way they often did before falling asleep, when Tim spoke.
“Luce?” he asked, softly, rubbing her arm gently. “You still awake?”
“Just,” she murmured sleepily, smiling up at him. “What’s on your mind?”
He chuckled. “I just–we’ve been married for three months now.”
She turned so she was leaning on him, looking directly at him. “We have,” she replied, suspicious.
“What’s–what are your thoughts on kids? I know we’ve spoken briefly about it, but we’ve never–“
She placed a finger to his lips, giving him a smile. “Take a breath, babe.”
He let out a half-laugh, and then sighed.
She reached over him, and clicked on his light, before shifting so she was sitting up against the headboard. He followed suit, turning so he was facing her.
“Are you still–are we still on the same page about kids?” he asked.
“I want to have kids with you, Tim. If–if that’s what you still want.”
He nodded. “Yeah,” he smiled. “I do.”
Her smile widened, and she leaned her head against the headboard.
“What timeline are you thinking, Luce? I know you’ve got a five year plan.”
Lucy laughed. “Yeah. I do. But that kind of went out the window when we got kidnapped, and then got married so quickly. I intended for us to be engaged for a year, then married. But that’s not always how life works out.”
“Well, what was in your five year plan for kids?”
“We would wait six months after we got married before we started trying. It’d probably take six to twelve months, given that I have endometriosis, but then we’d have a kid, best case scenario, by the time we’d been married two years.”
“But conceiving can be tricky, because of your endo, right?” Tim asked, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.
She swallowed, nodding. “Yeah, uh, there’s a chance that…that we might not be able to have kids at all,” she looked down, fiddling with where their hands were joined.
“Hey,” he said gently, tilting his neck so he was meeting her eyes. “We’re not there yet, okay? We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
She nodded, her eyes avoiding his. “Yeah. Yeah.”
He sighed, and squeezed her hand. “If everything went according to plan, what would it look like?”
The corner of her mouth ticked up, and she looked up. “Well, I’d get my IUD removed, we’d start trying, within six months I’d be pregnant, and then we’d have a baby. I’d take six weeks off, and then go back to work, and whatever you want to do with paternity leave is up to you.”
She looked over toward the rest of their room, smiling. “I’d breastfeed for a year, and after I weaned the baby, we’d start trying for another baby. We’d be pregnant again six months later, and then we’d have a second baby just after our first baby turned two. I’d breastfeed for a year again, have a year off, and then we’d try for a third, get pregnant, and have another baby. I’d be open to a fourth. Maybe two years after the third.”
She looked up at him, squeezing his hand once.
“What do you want?” she asked softly. “I don’t want…it doesn’t have to be exactly that, and I want to know what you want, too.”
He smiled, covering her hands with his. “I…,” he paused. “I thought I’d have kids with Isabel, and then that fell to shambles, and then we got together and broke up, and I…” He took a breath. “I didn’t think I’d get to have kids after that. So, I want whatever you want, Luce. I’d be happy with one. I’d be happy with six.”
“Woah,” she laughed, putting up a hand. “You planning on giving birth to any of these six kids?”
He quirked an eyebrow. “You know I would if I could.”
She smiled. “You’re sweet.”
“But Luce, seriously,” his face turned solemn. “If having kids puts your life at risk, then it’s not worth it. I want to have a baby with you, or four, or however many, but I needyou. You are what’s most important.”
She made a sympathetic face, and sucked a breath in.
He rubbed circles over her knuckle with his thumb for a moment, letting the weight of what they’d discussed settle before he spoke again.
“So,” he said. “You want to wait another three months before we start trying?”
She scrunched up her nose, bringing her shoulders up to her ears before relaxing. “I…we don’t have to.”
He smiled, shuffling closer to her. “We don’t have to?”
She shrugged. “We could start trying sooner, if you wanted?”
“You want to?”
She tipped her head to the side. “I’d have to get my IUD removed firstly, but after that, we could.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Are you ready? To be pregnant? We can wait a little longer, if we need to.”
She paused, and then nodded. “I’m in a good place, in my career. I’m settled, as a Sergeant. You’re Watch Commander. It would be a bit rough for the station, but they’d cope. Grey could take over as Watch Commander, and Sergeant Miller would probably be happy to come back to day-shift for a bit.”
Tim nodded, contemplating.
“What?” she asked, squeezing his hand.
“You’re gonna be in a lot of pain for the months that we’re trying, Luce.”
She shrugged. “It’ll be worth it eventually.”
He met her eyes. ”Luce, I know how bad your periods can get. You’re gonna have to take time off work when you’re on your period.”
“It’s just part of endo, Tim. It’s unfortunate, but there’s not a lot I can do about it.”
“There isn’t anything supplemental they can do while we’re trying?”
Lucy shook her head. “I can have surgery to remove some of the lesions, which will increase my chances of getting pregnant, but it’s not going to change the pain levels. I just have to manage that with medication, heat packs, exercise. And I don’t have that many lesions, anyway, since my endo is only stage 1.”
“None of those things work for your pain, Luce.”
She sighed. “I know. And even if we do everything right, there’s still a chance we won’t be able to get pregnant.”
His mouth thinned into a line. “Did you…did you end up freezing your eggs?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I did. So if it comes down to it, IVF is an option for us, and if it came down to it, I’d want to try it.”
He nodded. “Whatever you want, Luce.”
Lucy let out a half-laugh. “You don’t have to agree with me on everything, Tim. I want to know what you think.”
“And I’m telling you, you are what’s most important to me. So what you want, is what I want.”
She smiled and shook her head, reaching over to cup his face, placing a kiss to his lips. “So,” she said, after she pulled away. “Should I make an appointment with my OB/GYN to get my IUD removed?”
He tilted his head to the side. “I guess so. You want me to come with you?”
She quirked an eyebrow. “You’d actually want to do that?”
His eyebrows knitted together for a moment. “Of course I would, Luce. Plus, it’s painful, and I’m assuming you need someone to drive you home, just like you did when you got it implanted.”
“You remember that? I was still a rookie.”
“Of course. I remember how much pain you were in.”
“You forced me to admit why I was hunched over in pain at a certain point of every month, and then you drove me to the doctor referral you’d gotten from Angela, and sat with me through the appointment, and then drove me to and from the insertion appointment.”
“You were literally unable to do your job whenever you had your period. I figured it out after the first month, you just wouldn’t admit it. Tried to keep pushing through.”
She shrugged. “LAPD doesn’t give menstrual leave. And rookies don’t get sick days. Not for something like that. And I wasn’t about to explain to you - or Sergeant Grey - that it felt like my abdomen was being turned inside out with a chainsaw.”
He rubbed her arm.
“I don’t want to put you through that again unless you’re absolutely sure you want this, Luce.”
She smiled, reassuringly. “I do, Tim. I promise, I do. It’ll be tough for a little bit, but I have more leeway now. I can take sick leave when I need to, and I have you as my husband now, which makes everything better.”
“Of course, Luce. I’ll do anything to make you more comfortable.”
They were quiet for a minute, and Tim pressed a kiss to her head.
“We’re actually gonna do it?” Lucy said quietly, before leaning closer to him, kissing his cheek, and then the opposite one.
“We’re gonna start trying,” he whispered, running his thumb along her jawline. “We’re gonna have a baby.”
She beamed, and leaned in to kiss him.