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When you enter a highly competitive environment, you’re bound to meet the same people over and over again. Especially if said people are training in the same place as you are.
Baekjin wouldn’t say that sharing the ice with Humin was a bother per se, she would argue that the other girl was too loud - always laughing and talking - while she tries her programs, that she disturbs her sessions and that’s the reason she can’t focus well if they’re in the rink together. No other reason. Nothing to do with how Humin’s smile seemed to brighten up the entire arena or how the sound of her voice left the taller girl’s mind fuzzy.
The worst part, for Baekjin, is that Humin doesn’t seem to notice the effect she has on her. She doesn’t spare her a glance, doesn’t laugh with her, almost avoiding every possible interaction between the two of them.
The view from Humin’s side was vastly different; she had tried in the past to joke around with Baekjin, only to be met with a cold indifference - Humin felt like the stare she received was icier than the ice they skated on - so, under the impression that she was only bothering the other girl, she stopped trying so hard to get closer.
She always thought that the girl with cat-like eyes was incredibly interesting, the way she glided on the ice was hypnotizing for the audience and for her opponents alike and Humin couldn’t help but feel drawn to her entrancing stare.
Sure, training together crumbled the oh-so-perfect figure Baekjin presented to judges in competitions for Humin; but even as she fell or messed her choreography, Humin’s could only think how even her fails were graceful, as if she planned them beforehand, like she wanted others to see that she was just like the rest of them.
Logically, Humin knows that Baekjin is not some divine icon that graced the earth with her presence but just a girl that has always worked hard to achieve the best results possible; but even then, she can’t help the almost worship-like admiration she feels.
Humin remembers all too well how the whole deal started.
She was just a little over ten when she first stepped into the rink she now called home, she had just transferred to Seoul and her father wanted her to keep training - he believed all the time and money he spent over skating would be wasted unless his daughter actually became known in the sport. So they had visited every training centre in the city and, at the very end, she found herself in Yeongdeungpo.
From the edge of the ice, she could see a girl around her age skating on the notes of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. Her movements were fluid and elegant and Humin couldn’t help but think that a song choice had never been so accurate, the skater resembled a swan in an uncanny way; Humin wouldn’t have been surprised if as the song came to an end, white wings grew from the girl’s arms.
So, it wasn’t a surprise that when Humin started training in the same place, she found herself drawn towards the same girl.
But her attempts throughout the years to befriend Baekjin were all met with silence and an unreadable stare, so after another failed shot at making conversation, she decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle and limited herself to admire the other.
Throughout the years, the girls became more than mere teammates and started to compete with each other for the highest step of the podium in major competitions, the Korean media described them as their very own Zagitova-Medvedeva, a rivalry born from sharing the same ice.
But what couldn’t be perceived from the outside was that this supposed competition between the two was born out of indifference, not hate. Baekjin and Humin barely acknowledge each other and the few words they shared were merely formality, but underneath Baekjin craved to develop some sort of relationship with her teammate. Every time they stepped on the podium together, Baekjin hoped to hear more from the other girl than a simple congratulation, said so quietly that she believed it as a figment of her imagination.
๋࣭ ⭑ WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS 2019 - SAITAMA, JAPAN
The voice of the announcer boomed from the speakers and welcomed the crowd to take their seats for the upcoming competition. In the backstage, the voice reverberates through the walls and makes its way to the athletes who are awaiting for the green light to step on the ice.
Humin was pacing around the corridor with a nervous aura, while a few meters away, Baekjin sat on the ground, eyes closed, revising her choreography.
“And for the last group, we welcome on ice the skaters who proved to be the best after the short programme!”
The cheers from the crowd got louder as the light lowered in the main rink, waiting for the girls to step on the ice for the warm-up.
As everyone walked out, the audience settled down and awaited for the real show to begin. On the ice all the girls started to practice, the training jackets were left to the coaches and the lights made the highly detailed costumes sparkle during turns and jumps.
Towards the end of the six-minutes given to warm up, Humin was preparing her last jump take off and kept her back turned to the centre of the rink, while from the other side, Baekjin tried her step sequence.
In a split moment, while both girls were speeding backwards, the two bodies collided. A unanimous shocked gasp from the crowd filled the arena, but in Baekjin’s ears there was nothing but a static ringing and when she brought a hand to her temple to soothe the sudden headache, she felt warm blood staining her gloved fingers.
Baekjin wasn’t sure how much time had passed before she was surrounded by the medic team, her vision was slightly blurred as she was helped on her feet and carried out of the rink, and from the corner of her eyes she could see Humin sitting on the ice with two paramedics talking to her.
The doctor was clear in his words to the young skater, the advice to not go on with the competition had been sugarcoated but was unmistakable nonetheless. But Baekjin couldn’t waste all her sacrifice to arrive there, her first Senior World Championship would not be cut short because of a stupid accident.
Her coach was talking - probably evaluating the pros and cons of competing, Baekjin wasn’t sure, she tuned everything out the moment the doctor got out of the room - and pacing in front of the young girl.
“I want to compete, I’m fine.” Baekjin interrupted his train of thoughts.
The coach stopped short in his tracks, his jaw tightening while he gave his student a short nod. “If you want to compete, fine, it’s your decision. But don’t give me any of that I’m fine crap.”
“I really do feel fine.” They both knew that Baekjin was lying. Her head was still aching while they got out of the room, but she was determined to not let any vulnerability show.
As the competition neared to an end, no one expected to see her step onto the ice.
With a bandage on her forehead to cover the bleeding cut, Baekjin took her spot to start the programme.
But as the music went on, everyone who was watching could feel something wrong. The ever-so-perfect show crumbled right before the judges eyes and the jokes the commentators made on how Baekjin wasn’t able to fall quickly vanished as the girl failed to land the first combination.
So, as the last notes of the song reverberate throughout the forum, Baekjin already knew she didn’t make it. As she directed towards the kiss & cry, everyone seemed on the edge of their seats to find out if the girl that dominated the whole season was really going to lose the most important competition of her life yet, and that she did.
Humin got on the highest step of the podium with a beaming smile, but even as she accepted the firm handshake from the official, she couldn’t help but feel a pit in her stomach for her teammate.
So, as soon as the ceremony ended, she quickly marched to the locker room, and upon her entrance she could see Baekjin changing out of her red dress.
“I’m sorry.” Humin started speaking frantically even before arriving closer to the other.
“I’m so so sorry, the incident in the warm up was my fault and I–”
“It’s ok. I’m fine.” Baekjin interrupted her nervous speech while staring into her eyes.
Humin frowned at that.
“It’s not fine, you were bleeding. And you lost because of that.”
“So aren’t you happy that you’ve won?” Baekjin retorted, a sardonic smile on her lips.
“It’s not that– I am, I just–” Humin stammered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She added with an apologetic look.
Baekjin just hummed. “As I said, it’s ok. Accidents happen.”
At that, Humin turned with a small smile and began changing.
After they were both finished, Baekjin tried changing the gauze that covered her injury, but was immediately stopped by Humin’s grip on her arm.
As she looked up to the other, she was met with a genuine smile.
“Let me.”
So the taller girl sat on the bench, patiently waiting for Humin’s gentle touch to tend her cuts. The silence that surrounded them wasn’t uncomfortable, but even so, Baekjin had an irrepressible urge to fill it.
“You were great today on the ice. You would have won anyway.” Her voice was soft as she spoke, and when she looked up at Humin, she saw a soft blush covering her cheeks.
Humin murmured a small thanks and avoided eye contact, focusing just on finishing to clean up the injury.
For the months to come, the media thrived on the warm-up crash to fuel the rumors of the Na-Park rivalry. The misbelief of the hatred carried by the two spread across the world, with a divide between Baekjin’s and Humin’s fans. But the truth - which was known only by the ones closer to them - was vastly different.
Ever since that shared moment in the locker room in Japan, the two girls found themselves drawn to each other and, in a span of a couple months, ended up sharing more conversations than what they had done in the past eight years.
๋࣭ ⭑ FOUR CONTINENTS CHAMPIONSHIPS 2020 - SEOUL, REPUBLIC OF KOREA
For the whole 2019-2020 season, the podium ended up being always the same: Baekjin in first place and Humin a step behind, in second. So, the outcome of the Four Continents was already decided for most of the fans.
And thus, that’s how it went. Even with a phenomenal skate from Humin, her teammate seemed to constantly have an upper hand; step sequences more complicated, faster spins, jumps with a better technique. Humin had enough of her place being questioned, the interviews were filled with inquiries of her and Baekjin and to make matters worse, her father was more and more disappointed in her, not even sparing her a glance as soon as the competition was over.
Of course, rationally Humin knew that none of this was Baekjin’s fault, she couldn’t blame her for being out of everyone’s league. Still, it was difficult to pretend everything was fine when the other was constantly being showered in praises, while the most she got was a congratulation for the podium placement.
When their coach proposed a team celebration to celebrate the achievements on home soil, Humin was tempted to come up with a lie to skip it, but then - while they got ready to leave - Baekjin turned around and asked if she was going to be there, staring at Humin with a small smile and glinting eyes. And Humin is a simple woman, so she caves in and accepts the invite.
Needless to say, the decision was soon regretted. The dinner goes on with chatter about Baekjin’s talent, Baekjin’s future, Baekjin’s wins and Humin is tired and annoyed, so she fixates on the glass in front of her and keeps refilling it as soon as it goes empty.
She can feel her cheeks flushing and her body growing increasingly hotter as each drink gets finished and taking advantage of the sudden heat that washed over her, she excused herself from the table and walked towards the door without waiting for anyone’s response.
Her mind - filled with frustrating thoughts - seemed to clear as soon as she took the first breath of the chilly February air. Humin walked to the side of the building and crouched down to regain her composure and while she was staring at the cars passing on the road, a sudden voice came from her side.
“All good?”
Humin turned her head towards where the sound came and was met with Baekjin’s long coat. A scoff passed through her lips before she could stop it. “Yeah, sure.”
Baekjin’s brows furrowed at the response. “Did I do something?”
“No… How could the golden girl ever do something wrong.”
The bitter response sprung another scoff, but this time it came from the taller girl.
“Is this what this is all about? Me beating you today?”
Humin snapped upright with anger. “No. This is about everybody licking your fucking ass just because of one season that went well. I’m not a fucking child that’s envious about a medal.”
Baekjin’s face contorted in a sneer with every word. “Well, that’s exactly what you seem right now, sulking for attention.”
With each sentence, the two came impossibly closer to each other. So, without any difficulty Humin was able to forcefully grab the front of Baekjin’s coat.
“Shut your fucking mouth, you know nothing.”
As soon as those words left Humin, she urged forward and clashed their lips together.
Baekjin remained frozen for a split second - eyes wide open in shock - before reciprocating the kiss with urgency. The celebration still going on meters away from them were instantly forgotten as Humin’s tongue made its way inside Baekjin’s mouth, exploring it wholly with insistence, making sure not to leave any part untouched.
They stayed like that for a while, Baekjin sucking on Humin’s tongue while she let out soft noises, and when the shorter girl finally detached herself to catch her breath, Baekjin looked to her spit-glossy lips before finding her eyes. But as soon as she opened her mouth, Humin started to speak.
“Gonna come with me golden girl?”
Baekjin - the morning after, while dressing - will affirm quietly that the night had been a drunken mistake, fruit of the repressed frustration they both harvested, even if for different reasons; but from then on, it was hard for the two to spend many nights away from each other.
They never discussed their arrangement - Baekjin refused to acknowledge it as anything else other than that - and neither seemed to complain, so it went on for months, before a single text from Baekjin changed everything.
We need to talk. Can I come over?
Humin read the message a thousand times by the time the evening came, scared of having done something wrong her thoughts had spiraled for the whole day. Did she overstep some invisible boundary? Was something wrong?
A sharp knock snapped her out of it, but when she opened the door she felt everything but relieved. Baekjin had a serious expression on her face - her cold eyes made Humin go back to their first interactions - and, when asked, she refused to enter the apartment.
“It’s going to be quick anyway.” Humin chewed her lower lip in worry at her firm tone.
“I got a boyfriend. We can’t see each other anymore.”
Humin never thought about this possibility, the mere idea that another person could enter the picture never crossed her mind and somehow this made the revelation a hundred times worse.
Baekjin didn’t give her the time to retaliate or even utter a word, as soon as she saw Humin’ face morph into an expression that mixed confusion with hurt - a clear sign that she understood what was being said - she turned around and disappeared in the hallway.
Baekjin knew that it was the right thing to do. As much fun as the past months were, she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that what they were doing was wrong; she wasn’t supposed to enjoy watching how Humin’s eyes sparkled after they were done kissing, or hearing the other moan softly near her ear while she grinded on her lap.
So, she shoved all of her feelings down and tried to move over it, and Seongje was good looking enough that she was genuinely convinced she would be able to develop an attraction to him. The right way - her mind provided - like a normal girl.
But no matter how Seongje hangs on to her every word, Baekjin never felt anything for the boy. In her opinion, his presence felt more like having a loyal dog - or a servant - than a boyfriend, his way of obliging to any of Baekjin’s requests unnerved the girl.
Therefore, it wasn’t really a surprise that, when everything felt too much, she appeared in front of Humin’s apartment.
The first time she did it, she hadn’t even broken up with Seongje yet, but her teammate was the only thing on her mind. As soon as the door opened, Baekjin surged forward; I was wrong were the only words that she mumbled before pulling the other in a deep kiss.
And Humin spent the couple months where they hadn’t seen each other telling herself that - in case the cat-eyed girl came back - she would be cold, act distant; but once she felt those plump lips on hers, any resolution dissolved and she found herself kissing back with even more force.
After that first visit, the two girls fell back into their old routine of spending nights together and sharing secret kisses in the locker room.
Everything seemed to be going well for the two girls, now happy with each other, but a dreadful training took everything in a different trajectory.
A stress fracture in the kneecap, that was the diagnosis that the medic in the ER gave. The recommendations were to not strain the knee and rest, but Baekjin - alone in the hospital room - knew that it wasn’t possible: the Olympics were just months away, her ultimate goal was close.
The girl limped out of the building and, as she looked for a taxi to return home, she felt her phone buzz.
From: Huminie
Weren’t you supposed to be at the rink? I can’t find you :((
She debated telling her the truth, but Humin would have just nagged her into taking care of herself, so she decided against it.
I went home, I had things to do.
Sorry I didn’t warn you.
Nooo
I missed you T-T
Baekjin chuckled before pocketing her phone and walking to the taxi.
In all honesty, Baekjin never thought that not letting people know about her injury would be this difficult. Both her coach and Humin seemed to be ever present, even when she tried to have a moment to regain her composure and force herself to relax, she was surrounded by someone.
But giving up wasn’t an option, her former coach engraved that into her head when she was only ten. Resting was something reserved to the ones that proved to be worth it, and often Baekjin wasn’t part of that group, she was forced to keep training without a break while other kids watched in awe at her movements.
Who is going to want you if you fail?
The words echoed in the girl’s mind while she tried the choreography another time. It was the last run of the day and it had all been clean until then, but then the landing of the axel went wrong and she fell down. The impact amplified the ache in her knee, her hands flew to grab her leg while a pained whine escaped her lips.
Her coach was instantly by her side, shouting for someone to help bring the girl to the infirmary; as if for a sign of fate, Humin was passing through at that very moment and upon seeing Baekjin curled on the ice, she was quick to assist.
The diagnosis was still the same: fracture of the kneecap caused by continuous stress on the bone. The injured girl stayed silent the whole time, staring right ahead like a stubborn kid that didn’t get his way, while Humin paced in the room, worry evident on her features.
The coach was the first one to speak up. “By your reaction to what was said, I’m guessing that it wasn’t really news, was it?”
Baekjin didn’t react, didn’t say anything, she kept staring in front of her with a neutral expression. At that point, the wire that kept Humin’s composure together snapped.
“What is your problem?! Do you want to fucking collapse on ice?”
“It’s not your problem. Plus, that would have worked in your favor, wouldn’t it? Your biggest competition out of the picture.” Baekjin’s tone was cold as she stared at the other girl.
“That’s not what I care about. You, your safety, it’s what I worry about.” Humin’s voice was increasingly louder, finally stopping her pacing.
“No one asked you to, I’m fine.”
Their coach, who had been a bystander, finally intervened. “Stop talking. Both of you.”
As if under a spell, the two girls freezed in their spot, Humin with her lips already parted, ready to retort, while Baekjin refused to look in her eyes.
“If you want to make to Beijing-”
“It’s not an if.” “You can’t send her.” Both athletes spoke at the same time, but with a stern look, they closed their mouths.
“I was saying. If you want to make it to Beijing, you’ll need to rest. No more extra practices and competitions for a while.”
Baekjin’s eyes quickly shot towards the older woman.
“I can’t do that.” Desperation was clear in her voice and her coach found herself pitying the young girl; she knew all too well what the look in her eyes meant, the need to prove herself she was worth the praise, but she also knew that the line between a simple injury and a career-ending damage was fine.
“It’s that or you skip the Olympics.”
Humin, who had been silent during the conversation, scoffed and with a muttered un-fucking-believable stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Baekjin watched her leave without making an attempt to say anything that would make her stop in her tracks, and when the sound of the shut wood echoed in the room, she turned back to her coach.
“Ok. I’ll rest.”
๋࣭ ⭑ 2022 OLYMPICS - BEIJING, PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA
1.82 points. Humin’s life had turned around for a minimal score difference. The world around her was celebrating, but all the sounds were muffled when they reached her ears, all the touches didn’t feel real; she could see her own face - Olympic champion written beneath - on the wide screen, but even that seemed like a fever dream.
Baekjin had to admit that Humin’s free skate had been immaculate. She never once doubted the talent of her teammate and as much as she wanted the win - her expression didn’t hide the disappointment, or the single tear that escaped her eye, she felt when the scores were given - she felt strangely at peace knowing that the gold was given to Humin.
So, as the arena was being prepared for the ceremony, Baekjin quietly approached her teammate. A genuine smile graced her lips when she saw Humin beaming at her cheering coach and once she met those big eyes, she spoke up.
“Congratulations, you deserved it more than anyone.”
Humin didn’t say anything for a minute, busy staring at the girl with feline eyes, but then surged forward to hug her. A small thank you, muffled by Baekjin’s warm jacket, reached the taller ears. And suddenly the two girls were back to each other.
Baekjin’s retirement news crashed the skating world during the off-season, an exclusive interview with a Korean magazine came out at the start of May and revealed the announcement.
Na Baekjin, Korea’s own super-star and the most consistent skater that the country has seen since Yuna Kim, announced her retirement a few months after losing the highest step of the podium to her team mate, Park Humin.
The girl, only 21 years old, declared that the loss of the olympic gold wasn’t the reason for the decision, it was just what made her have an epiphany.
“I have spent all my life focusing on just one thing - figure skating - and I’ve received lots in return, but I have realized there’s more than that to life. I want to experience what the world has in store for me without the pressure from competitions and the sport in general.”
The article was engraved in Humin’s mind as she quickly made her way to Baekjin’s house, she wasted no time and as soon as she arrived in front of the apartment, she started knocking with insistence. The door opened a few minutes later, revealing a confused Baekjin.
“What are you-”
“Is it true?”
Baekjin didn’t have to ask what the other was talking about, she just exhaled softly and pushed the door wider to let Humin in.
“It is.” She said quietly while sitting in the kitchen stool. The nervousness was evident in the way she fiddled with her fingers, before another hand engulfed them; when she lifted her eyes, Humin was smiling while she took Baekjin’s hands in hers.
“You don’t have to explain, I came in case you had decided to move and I’d have no way to contact you.”
Baekjin rolled her eyes teasingly. “You watch too many rom-coms.”
“The only rom-com that I want right now is with you.”
The taller girl averted her eyes, grumbling something about cheesy and unbelievable lines, but her bright red ears betrayed her feelings.
“I’m serious.” A blush spread onto Humin’s cheeks too. “If you let me, I’d like to be with you.”
With Humin’s round eyes fixated on her, Baekjin was at a loss for words, but with the lack of an answer, doubt started to creep in.
“If you- I mean- If you don’t want it’s fine, I just-”
Humin’s mumbling was suddenly swallowed by the press of Baekjin’s lips on hers. The girl was quick to kiss back with force, letting a small approving sound out.
Baekjin, in her retirement announcement wasn’t joking, she had received lots from figure skating. But while the fans read the article thinking of trophies, medals and world records, in her mind, all she could envision were big brown eyes and a smile so warm it melted the ice under her blades.