Chapter Text
To say Varka changed your life would be the understatement of the century.
At the beginning, you truly didn't know what to make of him. He, with his go-where-the-wind-takes-you attitude, baffled you to your core. What of plans? What of contingencies? What of the possibility of inexplicable chaos that you'd have to respond to as an expected-to-be-responsible adult? You couldn't make sense of his internal logic, but things always seemed to go well for him without all the fuss and frantic preparation that you were used to.
For as long as you could remember, you had never been one to do things without extensive forethought and planning. That's why you were recruited for the Adventurer's Guild— because while you weren't always in the field, you seemed to always know how to respond or what to do. Every decision was connected with a deep rationale, and it was your mission to connect the dots before making any decision. You navigated patterns of logic like a seasoned captain on the high seas: with experience and rugged tact. Was it exhausting? Of course. But it was survival, and no one could really argue with that. It was simply how you got through life: planning, then replanning, then planning again.
That wasn't to say that Varka was allergic to the idea of plans himself, however. While you couldn't be more different, you were still both in positions of high responsibility in your respective organization and acted accordingly. Neither of you took your work lightly, and Varka, despite his laissez-faire first impression, especially so. As Grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius, he often roadmapped extensive guiding strategies for all of the Knights and adapted to unexpected situations with an ease and confidence you envied. You, as Lead Field Advisor for the Mondstadt division of the Adventurer's Guild, recognized that you could only dream of having his easygoing skill, but still did your best in the only ways you knew how.
Still, ever since you and Varka were brought closer together while collaborating on a joint-training session in response to the influx of new Knights and Adventurers (much thanks to the influence of the Honorary Knight), he had been nothing but kind. Any ire or hesitance you might have had around him dissipated as you became close partners in work. He managed to melt down your walls bit by bit, little by little, with the warmth of his smile and genuine care for you. It started with bright hellos as you crossed paths in front of Good Hunter, then it turned to deeper conversations about your lives, goals, and selves in the Angel's Share. Just like how Varka never stopped dreaming of being a 'triumphant hero', you had never stopped being a 'realistic strategist' in your way of thinking; he accepted and embraced that about you.
"Why me?" You remembered asking the night you both stood at the boundary between professionalism and overwhelming love for each other. You were sitting in his office, the last details of your in-field training project finalized and sitting between you. Left at the Knights of Favonius Headquarters, you had both gone overtime trying to finish the work while also getting lost in light conversation, quiet laughter, and refills of your favourite beverages.
You weren't quite dating, but you certainly weren't just temporary colleagues anymore; both of you could feel it. Maybe it was the atmosphere. Maybe you were both a bit drunk on some sleeplessness (partly work-fuelled, largely because both of you ran through each other's heads in increasing frequency). Maybe it was because he helped you feel comfortable in your own skin over the months you had chance meetings outside of work. Regardless, something in you felt that, for the first time in your messy but thoroughly thought-out life, you could afford to trust the whispers of the Anemo archon on the night's breeze— be reckless and not know where you were going to land before you leaped. Varka taught you that you could, slowly but surely, in your time together.
"Why do you keep choosing me? I'm not easy to love," you turned your gaze back to your cup, fingertip tracing along its rim absentmindedly. Your heart felt fit to burst in nervousness, but Varka didn't hesitate. His eyes softened, gently taking your hand in his. His skin was rough, but he was anything but with you.
"I don't love you because it's easy. I love you because you're you." he echoed back, rubbing soothing circles into the back of your hand. "Take a chance on us— on me. I won't let you fall, even if I wasn't what you planned."
It was hard enough to try and resist him when he was looking at you like you held the keys to his heart, but his words? The comfort and gravity they carried, drawing the deepest parts of your soul to him… You found you couldn't resist, nor did you want to.
And that was how you found yourself here, sitting cross-legged in your humble Mondstadtian abode with your giant golden wolf of a boyfriend with his head in your lap. Committing to each other these past few years didn't diminish your love for one another at all. Varka continued to be ever the gentleman, being present (and perhaps even a bit clingy) with you as often as possible. In return, you grounded him, checked in on him, and became his home. He never stopped being gentle with you, especially in your moments of doubt and overwhelm. You never stopped holding his hand as a reminder that he no longer had to shoulder his dreams and responsibilities alone.
Maybe because tonight felt similar to the one when you confessed, but as you ran your fingers through his hair, you couldn't help but ask. "Is it easy?"
Varka hummed, leaning into your touch. "What is?"
"This," your other hand gestured vaguely around the space between you. You didn't know exactly what you were referring to either— which you didn't do often— but you trusted him to fill in the blanks: being together, loving you, caring.
"It is. It's as natural as breathing." A pause settled between you, but you weren't uncomfortable with it. You could tell that he was trying to find the right words. "Has been since the moment I met you."
Varka turned his head to grin up at you from his (your) lap pillow. Despite the darkness that settled outside, he beamed like the sun rising from the horizon. He took your hand in his, raising it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. You found yourself chuckling under your breath, skin tingling where he kissed, as he continued.
"I couldn't be more grateful that you chose me every single day. Loving isn't easy— it's a choice, and a hard one at that— but you still put your faith in me since that night in the office. I couldn't be luckier that you did." He brought your same hand to cradle his cheek, his eyes glowing with fondness. "Every minute I get to spend with you has my heart learning that it can only love you more. We're not perfect, because we aren't perfect, and we definitely have our challenges. But still: I love and want to love you through it all, and that's all I need to know. I'll remind you every day if I have to."
"Oh," You didn't realize tears were trailing down your cheeks until you spoke, your voice hoarse with the raw emotions spreading throughout your chest. Varka, in all his grace, didn't comment on it; instead, he leaned up, lips meeting yours in a gentle embrace as his hand came up to wipe the tears away.
When you both pulled away to gaze lovingly at each other, you couldn't have been more sure that taking the leap with him was the right choice.