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“Pixal, Pixal!” Frohicky had to wave his hands and Geo called her name twice to get the nindroid’s attention.
Pixal blinks, lifting her eyes to meet them. When the three had first met, her eyes had been a vibrant emerald green. Now, they were dimmed as if coated with dust.
“Hello, do you require my service?” Her hand twitches. Her fingers are interlaced with the inner wiring of one of the turrets guarding the monastery. The sky was bright blue and coated with clouds, an idyllic morning. A beetle had landed on her forefinger and was making its way up her arm. She does not notice. “I mean…” Pixal says. “What do you need?”
“Uh, nothing,” Frohicky says, rubbing his elbow. Geo had told him several times that this was a nervous habit of his but he could not help it. The female nindroid always made him anxious. She is a formidable warrior of few words who he has only met recently. And, she is the love of Master Zane’s life. The frog man felt a deep sense of internal pressure to make a good impression on the samurai from the beginning. “We just wanted to know if everything is alright with you…” Pixal frowns.
“Yes. I am ‘alright.’ But, can I assist you with anything?”
“Why do you ask that?” Geo says.
“Well, typically, when one of the ninja other than Zane approach me, it is because they need me.” All of a sudden, a small spark glistens in her eyes, some of the former light returning. “Do you need me now?” She is almost eager.
“No. I just said that…” Mr. Frohicky swallows, glancing at Geo. Geo sighs.
“Pixal, we would like to ask, is it normal for you to work this much?” Pixal’s frown deepens.
“I do not understand.”
“You have been working an awful lot…” Frohicky says. “When I went to clean the kitchen last night, you were in the hangar working on a new vehicle and then when we came down the next morning…”
“You were still there,” Geo finishes. “What we are wondering is, do you ever take a break? Do you sleep?” An unreadable look crosses Pixal’s face.
“Does it matter if I sleep?”
“Yes!” Mr. Frohicky bursts, waving his webbed hands. Pixal hops in surprise. “Sleep is very important. Master Zane needs eight hours to feel good and even then I always think he can get more and he’s a robot and you are a robot too so you also must need eight hours—” He heaves, catching his breath. Geo places a hand on his shoulder.
“What we are trying to say is: we are worried about you. You seem to be working non stop for twenty four hours a day and that’s not healthy. I often had to stop Cole from working too hard to protect me and the Finders back in the Land of Lost Things. I know that ninja can be very particular about that.” Geo cracks a smile but Pixal’s expression remains blank. If anything, it gathers more shadows.
“I am not a ninja.” Her gaze turns towards the ground.
“Well, uh, no but you are ninja-like,” Mr. Frohicky says.
“Yes, but no. I do not have powers. I used to be useful…I used to build vehicles for everyone but that was before we acquired an elemental master who could create in seconds what would take me hours…” She closes her eyes and shakes her head slightly—such a small movement that few would catch it. “And now, anything I try to do has either been done for me or will contribute such a small amount that it is basically negligible.” She stares mutely at her hands. “I try and try to find something that can contribute value in a way that is marginally similar to the way I could before but…I can’t. Nothing I do…there’s nothing.” Her face falls as if voicing her thoughts aloud has allowed her to process them. She blinks, then opens and shuts her mouth.
“I belong in the scrapyard.”
Her words are stiff and hollow but they crack through the air like a gunshot. Mr. Frohicky’s eyes go wide and Geo kneels down beside Pixal and grasps her shoulders.
“Don’t you say that,” Geo says quietly. “Don’t talk like that about yourself.”
“Yes,” Mr. Frohicky stammers. “People love you. Like Master Zane. You should have seen how devastated he was when you were gone—he started talking to a broom for goodness’ sake!”
“That’s why I went on vacation.” Pixal’s words are small. Mechanical. They drop out of her mouth like marbles.
“What?” Geo says.
“Zane was saddened that I was gone and his mood improved significantly when he found me. I calculated that his mood would improve even more if we were to spend time away together. And, that would be permissible because, in my absence, Sora has assumed all of my duties and the other ninja…the other ninja would not mind if I was gone.” She closes her eyes. “I only managed to improve their mood by a few percentage points anyway.” She pauses. “Except for Kai. I actually managed to decrease his mood by 3%.”
“So, you only went on vacation because you wanted to make Master Zane happy?” Mr. Frohicky says.
“Not just that…I was aware that my return would be quite…well, I did not want to face my return here.” She glances at the monastery wall, tracing its form with her eyes. “That I am not needed here any more.”
“That is not true.” Geo grasps her shoulders more firmly. “Cole has spoken about you too—not only Zane cares for you. And, besides that, you are a person. You do not have to be here to do something special. I’m not. I’m just here to support Cole and protect our family.” Pixal meets his eyes. Her expression is blank.
“All I want to do is help. If I can’t do that, who am I?”
“You’re Pixal.”
“No, I’m not.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you know what P.I.X.A.L. stands for? Primary Interactive X-ternal Assistant Lifeform. If I cannot assist, who am I?” After a few heartbeats of silence, the nindroid squeezes her eyes shut, rises to her feet and lifts Geo’s hands from her shoulders. “You do not have to answer that question. I already know the answer.” And she walks through the monastery gates and closes them gently behind her.