Chapter Text
School is quite a dreadful thing, a universal fear.
Students and teachers alike despise it, from the hallways to the lights—and especially that stuck up prick of a prodigy:
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Dazai’s favorite little enigma.
—
School was never a struggle for the brunette, from the learning and grades bit to the people part.
He really did win the ‘genetic lottery’—Mori’s words not his.
Though of course, what would his life be without the tragic lows and short lived highs?
“Dazai-kun!” The blonde idealist whisper-yelled besides him, hands tightening in the overly unbearable textbook he had the pleasure to indulge in. “Pay attention!! I’ve been calling your name for the past 4 minutes..!”
The boy’s glasses had basically fogged up in anger, a pity, thankfully he has Dazai!
“Ahhh~ Kunikida-kun is so worrisome.. have you not noticed that spider in your hair?” Dazai hummed, lying through his teeth, if only his considerably gullible friend could tell.
“THERE’S A WHAT?!” In a fit of shock the class president stood up, the chair scratching against the wooden floor was loud enough for all eyes to turn towards the direction of the sound as Kunikida ruffled his hair looking for the alleged spider.
“Kunikida!! Sit down! This is no time to act so foolishly!” The teacher shouted, slamming the textbook against the desk.
As his blonde friend got scolded by the teacher, Dazai’s eyes drifted towards his dearest Fyodor, whom seemingly was unaffected by the whole situation, the commotion struck attention into his quietest peers, and yet the the dark haired Russian remained indifferent.
Boy he must think he’s sooooo special.
—
After the splendid yet unbearable dramatic performance of the bell cutting through the insufferable chatter of learning, the brunette pushes his weight off the desk in an attempt to make his way to the cafeteria before his peers.
Of course, that wouldn’t be happening.
“Oh! Dazai-kun..! ♡"
“Haha! Dazai-kun~ that stung you pulled with Kunikida-san.. very funny..! ♡♡"
“Hehe~ Dazaiii-kun…did you get a haircut..~ ♡?”
“Dazai-kun!”
“Daaazzzzaaaaiiii-kun!!”
“Dazai!”
So on and so forth—gosh Maybe his ‘lottery’ luck was running thin, haaah what’s he gonna do with himself?
No matter! Once our favorite brunette got away from the onslaught of empty compliments and bitter lies
He made his way to the previously mentioned, cafeteria! Oh and lookie lookie here—
“Kuuuunnniiiikkiidddaaaa-Kun~!” Dazai calls out sprinting towards his easily agitated friend, Sliding into the lunch line right in front of him—
“DAZAI?! Ohhhh your so dead after that little stunt you pulled..” the blonde hissed jabbing his pointer into the brunette’s forehead who winced in an over dramatic matter, his hands flying up to cover his previously assaulted forehead
“Waaaahhh!! Kunikida..!! You’re so mean! I do so much for you!!”
“I don’t wanna hear it! And get your sorry ass to the back of the line!”
“Nn.. Kuuunniikiiidaaa! C’mmmoonnnn lemme stay!! Just this once!! PLEEASSE—“
“Oi. Mackerel. Can-it and get to the back of the line.” Came the oh so familiar of a shockingly calm, ginger slug, staring up at Dazai from his position behind Kunikida.
“Ehhh? What was that noise? I don’t see anyone talking.. could it be I’m just imagining things? Or is there perhaps a leprechaun here?!” Dazai hummed standing up on his tippy toes, holding a flat hand over his eyes in a faux attempt to block out the lights to make it easier to see ahead of him.
“HAAH?! WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU BANDAGE WASTING MACHINE?!” Chuuya shouted, glaring at the brunette, Kunikida took a step to the side, allowing the two to lock eyes, only for Dazai to stick his tongue out, which successfully riled up the ginger far more.
“NAKAHARA!” One of the unfamiliar hall monitors shouted, the fat man clearly took pride in watching others suffer, no wonder he works in a school.
Just as Chuuya was going to argue back, in an attempt to also drag Dazai along with him, the girl a few spots behind the ginger—Higuchi—spoke up, “Ah, actually.. Dazai-San cut the entire line.” She deadpanned, clearly having a boost in confidence mid sentence after noticing Akutagawa nod in agreement (in aku’s defense, he hadn’t noticed it was Dazai and thought it was just some ragamuffin annoying Chuuya.)
Dazai had tutored Akutagawa when he moved to Yokohama, the boy in fact skipped a grade—10th—only to be held back in 11th, spending two years constantly stuck behind his mentor.
Actually, on the note of Dazai mentoring new students, he’s been tutoring this 10th grader, Atsushi Nakajima, the albino was actually in the line along with Higuchi and Akutagawa.
—> despite it being lunch time for the 12th graders, 9 through 11 graders who had club meetings during their lunch would occasionally join the 12th graders, it was a common occurrence the students just came to accept.
“DAMN RIGHT.” Chuuya shouted, stomping his foot like a child trying to get attention through bad behavior, ignoring the fact Higuchi had stood up for him, and focusing on the fact he could get Dazai in trouble—much to Higuchi’s disappointment, maybe next time someone will give her proper acknowledgment besides the worthless side character—As Chuuya and the hall monitor had a useless back and forth, Dazai took the moment to glance over Kunikida’s shoulder noticing Akutagawa’s unwavering stare and slow realization he had basically just gotten his idol in trouble.
With all the commotion and the attention drawn away from Dazai, he took his chance to grab his lunch and find a seat. Unfortunately, to nobody’s surprise, the majority of the tables were taken up, luckily he spotted Ranpo and Yosano from across the the room and made his way over, winking at the older boy who rolled his eyes but his ears did turn a dusty pink—a win in Dazai’s book!
“Wait—so what even happened in the lunch line? You and Kunikida-kun took so long.” Yosano pointed out, peeling off the crust of Ranpo’s sandwich before handing it back to him.
“Kunikida-kun isn’t here—“ Dazai started, glancing up from his numerous health code violations placed on a flimsy cardboard plate the schools labels a meal.
Before Yosano could answer, Kunikida who had apparently sprinted after Dazai the second he left flicked the back of the boy’s head
“Dazai this is your third strike!! Enough with these shenanigans!!” Kunikida demanded, slamming his plate down, despite their obvious ongoing argument the blonde still sat down next to him.
“Did you really just say shenanigans? This isn’t the third century Doppo-kun.” Ranpo deadpanned with a smirk as he finished hardly half of his sandwich and instantly opened a bag of chips he had bought beforehand.
Kunikida ignored Ranpo’s snide remark and continued rambling on about Dazai’s recent behavior—clearly every word was going in one ear and out the other.
Despite it, lunch went on.
Although, when Dazai’s eyes inevitably drifted towards the other tables, he couldn’t help but notice the lack of his Russian friend. Gosh this guy is insufferable.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ skidoo skiday your gay for reading this time skip or whatever ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
“I had extra orchestra practice.” Fyodor deadpanned. Not even looking up from his book, even after Dazai had draped his entire body over the Russian, his indifferent expression remained the same.
“Really? That’s IT? Your dear friend Dazai searched alllll around the school and all I get is a frown?! Can’t I ATLEAST get the details?” Dazai complained, more interested in the idea of gossip than Fyodor himself.
“Your name is Dazai?”
“…you seriously didn’t even know my name?”
“No?”
“Aaughh! Dos-kun I’m hurt!! And here I thought we had a special bond!! Hmph!” With his childish yet clearly faux fit still in session, Dazai shoved himself off Fyodor and in an over dramatic matter stomped off, only being two desks besides Fyodor, there really wasn’t any point, but the brunette made an effort to look pouty, which earned a confused glance from the Russian.
The bell did eventually ring, bringing an end to their one sided conversation, and the start to chemistry class.