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Karen Tehama was a city girl through and through, but she had to admit, Ingrid and Fillmore’s acreage was quite charming. Even if it was a bit rustic and secluded for her taste.
Thank God Anza hadn’t listened to Fillmore’s encouragement to go look at a neighbour’s nearby plot a few months ago. This particular farmer was retiring to be closer to his grandchildren and was selling off parcels of land. If he had fallen in love with the twenty acres, Karen wasn’t sure how she would have told Anza no; she rarely refused him anything, unless it was illegal. And even then there were workarounds.
Instead, Anza had teased that Fillmore should buy it and become a fulltime farmer, that he was past his prime as an FBI agent.
That was before Fillmore was shot.
Now, as the couple drove out to the farm for their monthly gathering, Karen wondered not for the first time if Fillmore would buy the land. She knew incidents like Fillmore’s could change a person’s perspective. Perhaps he would like to retire and lead a peaceful life.
She had mentioned this thought to Anza once and they had both burst into laughter. Fillmore? A quiet, peaceful life? Never!
Then again, she also would have said “never” about Fillmore and country living.
Even though Fillmore, Ingrid, Anza, Tehama, Danny, and Vallejo were so close they were more like siblings than friends, they were still capable of surprising one another. The farm being one such thing. Danny being gay? That had surprised a few in the group, mostly Vallejo as he could be a bit blind when it came to romance (especially his own), but Tehama had suspected something since middle school. Danny was one of the only boys on the safety patrol who hadn’t tried to flirt with her, and he never seemed interested in the classic “boy talk” that involved discussing the cutest girl. Never having a girlfriend certainly helped, too. Karen was just glad Danny had trusted the group enough to come out to them. She was even happier when he brought his boyfriend to their first friend gathering. It was too bad Danny was in Morocco for National Geographic, but at least he got to take Robert with him on this trip. She planned to scroll Danny’s Instagram later for the latest pictures and live vicariously through him.
God, she really needed a vacation.
Karen reached over from the passenger seat and placed her hand over Anza’s as it rested on the gear shift of their navy truck. It was mainly Anza’s vehicle, as he liked to horde random work-related or project-related items in the truck bed. Normally Karen drove; her need to be in control got the best of her most times, but she let it go on occasion, especially when it came to Anza. That, and she knew Anza couldn’t have fit his latest woodworking project in her smaller car, and he really wanted to show Fillmore. Karen had no idea what exactly the item was, as it was covered by a tarp, but she assumed it was something Fillmore had commissioned for Ingrid as a surprise. Ingrid was too perceptive for her own good, so if Fillmore actually managed to surprise her with something, Karen would love to witness it.
Anza flashed Tehama a smile then looked back at the road. It was getting to be that time of day when the deer would be darting across the road, and Anza was incredibly paranoid about anything happening to his truck.
Looks-wise, Anza hadn’t changed too much from their younger days. His hair was a bit longer and he had more laugh lines around his mouth. She liked his clean-shaven look and hoped it stayed that way this summer. He was still taller than her, but that was a given since in their friend group, Karen was the shortest. Even Ingrid beat her by a solid inch!
Karen was supposed to go for a business casual look when she was at the forensics lab, but her boss liked her so much, she ignored Tehama’s nine ear piercings and the random colours she streaked through her hair at least once a year. Right now, half her hair was aqua blue, the other her natural black. She had pulled it into a messy bun after her post-work shower and grabbed the first shirt and pair of pants from her closet before the couple headed out the door, barely on time as usual. Karen tried to be early for things, but Anza averaged five minutes late so between the two of them, they got to appointments and gatherings right on time. It used to frustrate Tehama, but after over fifteen years together, she had gotten used to it. And Anza really did try to be early, it just wasn’t in his genetic makeup. Tehama swore there was a “late gene” and Anza’s entire family had it. It was a good thing the Anza family were so sweet, especially Mrs. Anza, or the family would have drivn Karen insane years ago.
Sporting his usual leather jacket and jeans, Anza didn’t seem to feel the cool evening air whipping through the cab of the truck as they drove closer to Fillmore and Ingrid’s place, windows down.
“Did Fillmore mention what he was making tonight?” Karen asked.
“I think he found a new smoker recipe to try. Vallejo said he’d bring an appetizer of some kind.”
Tehama cringed. “Hope for Alicia’s sake it’s better than his last dish.”
Anza chuckled. “I’m sure he found something in his mom’s recipe book, a tried-and-true Mrs. Vallejo dish that’s sure to have way too much salt.”
Tehama snorted. “As long as it actually tastes like food, I’ll be happy.”
Speaking of food, Tehama’s stomach cramped randomly. She kept her face neutral and steadied her breathing. It passed within seconds. I thought morning sickness was supposed to only be in the morning?
Karen bit the inside of her cheek. She still remembered taking the pregnancy test two weeks ago when Anza was out of town on a call for work. She had guessed something was off when she missed her very regular period the previous month, but she had waited a few extra weeks to see if maybe work was getting to her and she’d skipped because of stress. But when she saw the two pink lines, she knew it was real.
Karen was going to have a baby.
The problem: she wasn’t sure she was ready.
The other problem: she hadn’t told Anza yet.
She’d kept the pregnancy test in a box in her underwear drawer, unsure if she should just spring it on Anza when he got back, or do a big reveal, or something else entirely. No one knew, not even her mother or sisters. Her eldest sister, Tina, had two children, but her two other older sisters were still childless. As the baby of the family, Karen didn’t have to worry about her parents pressuring her and Anza for grandchildren. They did, however, still expect a wedding at some point. Karen’s parents were traditional in that regard, but she had hoped they would stop asking about a ceremony when she and Anza had been living together since college and were officially Common Law. A wedding was a mere formality at this point, but now, with a baby on the way, perhaps they should consider it?
The only reason Anza hadn’t found out yet was because Karen was scheduled for early shifts at the lab this month and he had been working late, so he missed her bouts of morning sickness. She didn’t want to keep the news to herself for much longer, but if Karen was honest, she was terrified about what this change would mean for the couple. She loved their life together, and a child – even one she and Anza did want and would love unconditionally – would change everything.
“You’re awful quiet tonight,” Anza commented, adjusting his hand a bit so his thumb could brush Karen’s hand as it still rested on top of his.
Do I tell him now? Perhaps, but she didn’t want to surprise Anza so much that he accidentally crashed the truck.
“Just thinking about how nice tonight will be now that Fillmore is feeling well enough to host a gathering. I know he was bitching and moaning last month about missing it.”
Anza nodded. “He did complain, but I know he knows how lucky he is. Tonight will be special.”
Of everyone in their group who worked for the FBI, Karen was not surprised that it was Fillmore who had been shot a few months prior. As part of the counter terrorism division, he was the one most at risk for getting shot at, followed closely by Anza and Ingrid. She knew it was selfish, but she was glad Anza hadn’t gone into a more dangerous division; not that hostage negotiation didn’t have its moments.
Karen squeezed Anza’s hand. “It’s always special when we can get together. And a miracle,” she said with a laugh. “I honestly thought one of us would get called into work.”
A few minutes later, Anza parked near Fillmore’s barn-turned-workshop. Vallejo hadn’t arrived yet, which was surprising since he was a stickler for punctuality, but perhaps he and Alicia had gotten . . . distracted . . . and were running a bit late. Tehama was sure Fillmore and Anza would tease him relentlessly about that later.
As Tehama climbed out of the truck, she smelt rain in the air, a sure sign there would be a storm later, and admired the flower boxes near the front porch that Ingrid and Fillmore had added this spring. Anza went around to the truck bed and was struggling with the sticky latch; Karen was about to offer to help when a wave of nausea hit her so hard, she knew this wasn’t going to pass.
“I’ll see you inside,” she said and left before Anza could even glance her way.
Karen took the front steps two at a time and flung open the door. “Hi Ingrid, hey Fillmore! Be right back, gotta pee!” she shouted, not sure exactly where the couple was in the house but hoping they weren’t in the upstairs bathroom. She made it just in time.
Tehama wasn’t sure how many minutes passed, but she was grateful the cool porcelain of the toilet was there to prop her up. No one ever mentioned how exhausting pregnancy was. Karen had hoped she would be one of those women who didn’t get morning sickness and seemed to “glow” during the nine months, but so far, that hadn’t been the case.
A knock at the bathroom door. “Tehama, you okay?”
Ingrid. Karen groaned. Ingrid was notoriously good at seeing through Tehama’s lies. And she wasn’t in the best shape to make up a convincing one.
“Can I come in?” Ingrid asked.
Tehama sighed. “It’s unlocked.”
Ingrid slid in and immediately shut the door. Her green gaze flickered from Tehama to the toilet and back again. “How far along?”
Of course she’d guess. Karen brushed back the wisps of hair that had escaped her bun. She’d have to redo it before leaving the bathroom. “Two months.”
Ingrid sat down beside Karen and squeezed her arm. “Morning sickness?”
Tehama nodded. “Must be morning somewhere.”
“When Arielle had her twins, she was sick for almost six months, no matter the time.” Ingrid flicked a piece of lint off her purple sweatpants. Karen noticed she was wearing one of Fillmore’s t-shirts. Her hair was damp and had a wave to it, like she had just gotten out of the shower.
“Are we early?” Tehama asked. Ingrid was just as much a stickler for timing like Karen; normally she would have been ready for company an hour ago.
Ingrid blushed. “No, I just lost track of time.”
Karen snorted. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.” She decided to try leaning against the bathtub in the seafoam green bathroom. She winced as she did so, but at least she didn’t feel like puking again.
“I take it you haven’t told Joseph?” Ingrid asked.
Tehama shook her head. “I only found out a few weeks ago. And I guess I just,” she shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t want things to change.” She met Ingrid’s kind gaze. “I’m scared,” she said quietly.
Ingrid scooted closer on the tiled floor and took Karen’s hands in hers. “I don’t blame you. I would be too. But you must be a little excited, right? You’ve been saying for years how much you like being an auntie and how good of a father Anza will be. And let’s be honest Tehama, you’ll be the best mom.”
Karen’s eyes stung as tears welled up. “I know, it’s just, we didn’t plan this, you know? Anza and I like our jobs, I don’t know if I’m ready to step back for a year or two, and what if something happens when Anza goes on a call? Is it even fair to bring a kid into our lives if there’s a risk something could happen to one or both of us?”
Ingrid placed a hand on Karen’s shoulder and rubbed soothing circles. “I have those same fears, especially after what happened to Fillmore, but Karen, you and I both know something could happen to any of us, no matter the job. That’s just the world we live in. Anza could be a pharmacist and get in a car accident, or I could be a psychiatrist and fall off a ladder. You can’t let fear dictate your choices.”
Tehama took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She gave herself a few moments then opened her eyes and flashed Ingrid a grin. “I still say you should have been a hostage negotiator. You’re pretty good at talking people off a ledge.”
Ingrid laughed. “Maybe if I get tired of profiling, I’ll get some tips from Anza.” Ingrid leaned back and opened the cupboard underneath the sink. She pulled out a travel sized toothbrush and toothpaste, still sealed. “Here, for when you’re ready to head outside. I think Fillmore said Anza wants to show us something. But don’t rush. I’m sure they want to wait until Vallejo and Alicia get here.”
Before Ingrid could stand up, Tehama leaned forward and hugged her best friend tightly. “Thanks Ingrid, for everything. You’re the best.”
Ingrid squeezed her back. “Glad I could help. If you need anything, let me know. I got your back.” She leaned back and stared at Tehama’s still-flat stomach. “And yours. Auntie Ingrid is here for both of you.”
Tehama took Ingrid’s offered hand and the pair got off the floor. As Karen opened the toothpaste, she glanced at Ingrid in the bathroom mirror. “I don’t think we’ve ever talked about you and Fillmore being parents.”
Ingrid closed the toilet seat and sat on the lid. “That’s because we’re honestly not sure if we really want to be,” she said with a chuckle. “It’s not that I don’t like kids, you know how much fun Fillmore and I have with my nephews, but with my dad and his health . . .” Ingrid trailed off.
Tehama turned the tap on. “You want to be there for him,” she supplied, then started brushing her teeth. She was so glad to get rid of the taste of vomit.
“I just don’t want to leave Arielle feeling like she has to raise her kids and look after Dad. It’s hard enough being a single mom, and Dad’s going to need full time care sooner than we initially thought. Plus, he loves it out here. Finds it very relaxing.” Ingrid shook her head. “We’ll see. We’re not not trying, if that makes sense.”
Karen spit out the toothpaste and gave her mouth a good rinse. Ingrid’s father had been diagnosed two years ago with early onset Alzheimer’s, and while he was doing well, everyone knew that wouldn’t last. “Totally. It was the same with Anza and I.” She put down the toothbrush and redid her bun. “How do I look?”
Ingrid stood beside her, looping an arm around Karen’s waist, and smiled. “You’re glowing, of course.”
The pair laughed at that then left the bathroom to find the boys. Ingrid grabbed a sweater since the evening was beginning to cool off and they did indeed find the boys, in addition to Vallejo and Alicia, outside near the entrance to the property.
“What are we doing over here?” Ingrid asked.
Fillmore grinned as he took Ingrid’s hand and led her to the tarped object, likely the same one from Anza’s truck. “Anza came through for me and I can finally say I’ve surprised you.”
Ingrid raised an eyebrow as she stood beside the tarp. “And just what have you surprised me with?”
Fillmore tugged the tarp off and revealed a large, wooden sign with the words “F & T Acres” carved into it. It was a standard, square sign but Anza had carved leaves along the edges, and it was easy enough to read from the grid road. Everyone “ooohed” and “aaaahhed” in approval.
“Joseph, this is amazing!” Ingrid said with a gasp. “You are so talented.”
“Hey, what about me? It was my idea!” Fillmore said, a pout on his lips.
Ingrid laughed and gave him a kiss. “I love it, hun. Thank you.” She went over to Anza and gave him a hug. “And thank you, Anza. It’s exactly what we needed.”
Joseph smiled. “Happy I could do it. Took me months to get the leaves just right.”
Karen saddled up to her partner and intertwined their fingers. “So that’s what you’ve been working on in the garage all this time!”
“Took way longer than I thought,” he grumbled good naturedly.
Vallejo cleared his throat. “S’lovely sign, Anza, but can we go inside now? I’ve got to add a few things to the guacamole!” Tehama noticed he had a cooler in one hand and Alicia’s hand in his other. Vallejo was a bit taller than his high school days, but he was still a stocky man and his short beard did a good job concealing his double chin.
Karen rolled her eyes. “Aren’t you going to introduce us to Alicia?”
Vallejo blushed. “I did! You just weren’t here.”
Alicia smiled. She had a chip in one of her incisors that was visible when she talked. She was an inch or two taller than Vallejo and her dark brown hair was pulled back in a long braid. “I’ve heard so much about you and Ingrid, I feel like I know you already.”
“Vallejo has a tendency to embellish,” Ingrid teased. “Come on, let’s go inside and get drinks. I’ll give you a tour of the house. And yes, Vallejo, you have full access to the kitchen, as usual.”
“I’ll join you in a minute. Gotta go check on the pulled pork. Coming Anza?” asked Fillmore.
Karen kept a hold of Anza’s hand. “We’ll be with you in a second.”
Fillmore raised an eyebrow and glanced between the two of them before shrugging. “I’ll crack a beer for you, Jo. You want your usual cooler, Tehama?”
“No thanks, I’ll get my own drink later. We won’t be long.”
Once Fillmore was gone, Joseph turned to Karen, his brow furrowed. “Since when do you turn down a cooler on a nice spring evening in the country?”
Karen hands were shaking. She took Anza’s free hand and took a calming breath. She felt like throwing up again. “I’m pregnant,” she blurted out.
For a moment, it felt like the world had stopped spinning. Tehama’s heart crashed against her ribs as it thudded in her chest. She wished he would say something.
Suddenly, Anza’s arms were around her and he had picked her up, a smile so wide it threatened to split his face in two. “You are?” he exclaimed. “Karen, really? How long? You’re sure?”
She laughed, so relieved he seemed happy with the news. Karen wrapped her arms around his neck, hoping he didn’t decide to spin her around. “Two months, if I mathed correctly. I still need to get bloodwork done, but the test confirmed it a few weeks ago.” She glanced away. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. There just didn’t seem to be a good time, and well, I was a bit scared.”
Anza put her back down but kept his arms around her. “Scared? Did you think I’d be upset?”
Karen shrugged. “I don’t know, not upset exactly, but it’s a big change and we haven’t exactly talked about having a family in a while. I didn’t know if maybe your feelings had changed about wanting kids.”
Joseph leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. “It is a change, but a good one. I think we’re ready to be parents. And you’ll be a wonderful mom.”
“And you’ll be a great dad.” She gave him a quick kiss before tucking her head underneath Anza’s chin, leaning into his strong embrace. “But can we not tell the others just yet? Besides Ingrid, I mean. She already guessed.”
Anza kissed the crown of her head. “Whatever you want, T. Although you know as soon as we tell my mom she’s gonna freak out.”
Karen chuckled. “Yeah, she hasn’t exactly been subtle asking us when she’s getting her first grandchild.”
“No, subtle is not a word I’d use to describe my mother. But she means well.” He rubbed her back then stepped back so Karen wasn’t curled up against him. “We should probably head in. Gotta make sure Fillmore doesn’t overcook the pork and Vallejo doesn’t burn the house down.”
Tehama kissed Anza’s cheek. “You go Mother Hen the boys, I’ll make sure Ingrid isn’t overwhelming Alicia with her black and white film collection.”
The pair walked back to the farmhouse together, hands held and an excited flutter in both their stomachs at what was to come. There was still a little fear there for Tehama, but she knew if she could do this with anyone, it was Anza.