Work Text:
After his mother died up until his first year playing in Boston, Ilya didn’t celebrate his birthday. He was lucky he had Sveta, who knew he didn’t want a party but still always had a gift for him; and even Sasha usually gifted him something, even if with Sasha being Sasha, his gifts were usually a blowjob, a bottle of vodka or whatever drug he felt like sharing with Ilya. But then Ilya was drafted by the Raiders and he had to move to Boston. And he met Marly and Connors and Carmy and everyone else and they didn’t know about Irina, they didn’t know Ilya didn’t celebrate his birthday or why. So they threw him a surprise party and Ilya was so moved by it that he started crying, as embarrassing as that was. But he had a great time and every year since, the whole team threw him a party.
He always had a text from Shane too, if he was lucky he could even convince Hollander to sext or FaceTime or even send him a nude –and with Ilya knowing how paranoid Hollander was and how bad at sexting he usually was, getting a nude from him felt like the biggest gift on Earth. Not that Ilya would ever admit it, of course. Once he signed with the Centaurs and joined the team, and even more so after Shane and him made the public announcement about the Irina Foundation, Ilya took it as an opportunity to tell his new teammates about it, and about him not having celebrated his birthday in years before moving to Boston.
Now, Ilya is turning 35 and he can say he is happy. When he looks back to when he was younger, he feels sad for the things and people he lost; but then he looks around him and smiles at how many people surround and love him. The Centaurs have been nothing but super nice to him since he joined the team eight years ago, and they welcomed Shane with open arms when he joined too. Shane is the best husband Ilya could have ever asked for, the kind of partner he thought he didn’t deserve. Yuna and David treat him like a second son, and Ilya loves them. He is still in touch with Sveta and Marly and his other Raiders friends even if they don’t see each other as often. Anya is the best furdaughter. Ilya is so fucking happy he is crying, bawling his eyes out when he opens the door to his and Shane’s place and sees everyone is there. He knew there would be a birthday party, of course, but he wasn’t expecting to see everyone there. He thought Sveta was in Moscow, and he didn’t think the Raiders would come, and Fabian was supposed to play a show in New York tomorrow, but he had still joined Scott and Kip.
If he was the Ilya Rozanov of five, six, seven years ago, he would say something like “Am not crying, Russians don’t do that” when Wyatt chirps him about it. But instead, what he says is “all my family is here to celebrate day I was born, I am so happy.” Sveta has been in touch with Yuna and sent her all of Ilya’s favorite Russian meals, and Shane has baked a tiramisu cake, and everyone has gifts for him and he feels so loved.
Later that night, after everyone has left, Ilya is in the garden Shane grew in their cottage backyard, where he even surprised Ilya by building a shrine for Irina.
“Mama, it’s my birthday today. It’s been 23 years since I last had you on this day. I miss you every day, but I am so happy I have a new family now. Today is the first birthday in a long time when I’m genuinely happy, actually. I don’t remember the last time I was this happy. I will miss you for the rest of my life, but I will never forget you. I keep telling Shane and his parents about you, and when we have kids they will know everything about their babushka” he says in Russian. He throws a kiss to the stone with Irina’s photo and turns around, back inside the cottage, where his beautiful husband is waiting for him.
Shane is already in bed, and Ilya would tease him and call him old man because it’s only midnight, but the truth is that he is a bit tired too. And maybe it’s because they are getting old. They will always be younger than Hunter, at least, but Ilya is suddenly hit with the fact that they are in their mid thirties. Ilya is getting close to the age his mother was when he lost her. And before he realizes what is happening, he is crying for the second time today.
“Mon amour, are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“I just realized how old I am. When I was younger, I never thought I would make it this far. I always thought I would die young, younger than my mama, because life without her was too hard, life with my asshole brother and father was too hard, and I had no reasons to live. And you know that is why I focused on hockey and parties and sex and alcohol and drugs. But now I have a beautiful family and friends who are family too, and I want to live forever.”
When twenty minutes later he is riding his husband, Shane sees Ilya’s eyes getting wet again and kisses the tears away without a word. And when they are both sated, and cleaned up, and he is holding Shane in his arms, Ilya mentally thanks his mama for giving him the strength to keep on going even when he was at his lowest point.