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Polnareff didn’t want to say it aloud, especially since Iggy was unfriendly to everyone, but he was pretty sure his dog was homophobic.
Iggy had a bad habit of barking at any gay couple they ran into in the park. He would turn up his nose anytime Polnareff and Avdol kissed. He always got between them when they were cuddling. Polnareff would put on a gay romcom and Iggy without fail would pee right in front of him. It was disgusting. And concerning.
In an effort to test his theory Polnareff bought a gay flag. It was ripped to shreds. So, despite the fact dogs weren’t supposed to hold human prejudice Polnareff felt confident in saying Iggy was homophobic. Naturally, he reported his findings.
“Are you serious?” Kakyoin asked over the phone.
“Yes, the moment I walked in he jumped out, grab the flag and tore to bits.”
“Maybe he’s a little shit.”
“He doesn’t bark at straight couples.”
“Damn,” said Kakyoin, “How do dogs even become homophobic?”
“I don’t know, it’s freaking me out, I don’t know how to tell Avdol.”
“Wait is your dog transphobic?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Iggy hates everyone,” Polnareff said completely freaking out.
“We should still test this.”
“I’ll buy a trans flag right now.”
“Actually, you should buy a gaming headset instead, he might just hate flags.”
“Good point.”
“So, when are you going to tell Avdol?” Kakyoin asked.
“After I figure out if he’s transphobic. Kakyoin, did I fail as parent?”
“Eh, I think you were doomed from the start with that one.”
Two weeks would pass and Polnareff called to update Kakyoin.
“Good news, he’s not transphobic, he just sniffed the headset and moved on, but now I don’t know what to do with the headset.”
“Give it to me.”
“You know a trans gamer?” Polnareff asked.
“I do, see him every day.”
“That’s nice, you two must be good friends.”
“Let me rephrase this, I see him every day in the mirror.”
“You’re trans!”
“Yes, now please set me the headset.”
“Wait did you trick me into buying that?”
“No, you kill two birds with one stone.”
So, this was gaslighting Polnareff thought, “Fine, I’ll send it to you. Do you think are any other prejudice Iggy might have?”
As if on cue Polnareff watch Iggy destroyed his copy of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.
“He might be acephobic.”
“Are you ace?” Polnareff asked suspiciously.
“Jotaro is.”
“I’ll buy him a mug.”
“That’s the spirit,” said Kakyoin.
The book was completely shredded. Iggy stared at him and the Frenchman swore he raised a brow.
“Maybe he’s not homophobic and he just hates me.”