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The rubble was rough against his knees, the discomfort a thing that barely registered in his mind. The city was beautiful ahead, accompanied by the humming of the trees behind him, and the lively noises of ducks swimming in the water below.
Nakamura wondered what the city looked like in color if it was this pretty in grayscale.
Soulmates were all anyone ever talked about for as long as Nakamura knew. From his sister, to his classmates, to his parents talking about the moment they met. Nakamura could count on it being mentioned at least once a week.
You could only see colors once you've kissed your soulmate, your destined half. If it wasn't a direct kiss, lips touching at least a part of your soulmate's skin would allow both people to see one or two new colors. People born with a platonic soulmate instead had it easier compared to romantic ones, the contact point easier than the intimacy of kisses. They only needed to hold hands to see colors.
According to the news, about seventy percent of people in the world have already found their platonic or romantic soulmate.
Was Nakamura destined to be in the other thirty percent? Even his sister had already found hers, and she was younger than he was!
His mind couldn't help but conjure up thoughts about Hirose. Nakamura wasn't even given the grace of being his platonic soulmate, proven by the lack of colors when they'd held hands briefly at the haunted building before that creepy thing took over. Could he see them now that he was with Hana? Was Hana his soulmate, whereas Nakamura had prayed night through night for questioning chance to press his lips against Hirose's and finally see that they were meant to be–
“You're here too?”
It took him a second to place that voice. In the corner of his eye, he could see a familiar side-part, a haircut on someone that'd previously bugged him to no end.
“Matsumura?” he muttered, turning his head up as he wiped away the tears running down his cheeks. “What are you doing here?”
He sniffed loudly, knowing it was useless hiding it now. Perhaps before he would’ve been more embarrassed crying in front of a rival, but what does it matter now? Not like either of them had a chance now, anyway. To his relief, Matsumura didn't bring it up, nor did he make fun of him. Instead, the other simply propped his bike against the fence near Nakamura's.
There was a crinkle of a plastic bag as Matsumura dug into his pocket. “I always like to come here to feed the ducks. It helps take my mind off things. Mind if I join you?”
“I–”
Before Nakamura could finish his sentence, the other was already sitting down next to him. He watched as Matsumura tossed a handful of oats through the fence towards the ducks near the granite. It reminded him of the time he'd gotten swarmed by a flock of pigeons after trying to feed one with pieces of bread. They swam towards it immediately, pecking at the grains.
For a moment, they just sit there together in silence.
“So, you heard too.” The other finally spoke, still looking at the water even after he shook out the remaining oats.
Nakamura's stomach twisted. Like a stomach ache, but worse.
“Yeah,” he whispered, unable to muster any fighting spirit.
“It sucks, doesn't it?” Matsumura shook his head, leaning back. "But I guess inside I always knew I never had a chance. After all, everything's still gray.”
Nakamura turned towards him. “You've kissed Hirose?”
“His cheek, when we were younger. I couldn't even see a sliver of a new color.”
Huh. For some reason, it made Nakamura feel a bit…better, to know that there was someone who was in the same boat as him.
That could understand the way he was feeling, related to the fact that the person he wanted to see his first colors with the most was unreachable despite being so close.
“Is that why you're not so torn up about it?” He couldn’t help but ask, gesturing towards Matsumura's general well-kept appearance.
In comparison to Nakamura, with red eyes, and messy hair, he seemed to be faring better. Once again, Nakamura couldn't help but think of him as handsome.
“You could say that. Besides my interest in him, I’ve survived years being apart from Hirose." To his confusion, Matsumura scooched closer until their arms were pressed against each other. “And feelings change when you least expect it.”
Nakamura stared. The world around him seemed to pause in a colorless blur, focused on the warmth of a body against his.
His chest that had tightened to the point of being painful earlier had loosened, something that he'd only just realized was happening at all. There was something in Matsumura's last words that he couldn’t pinpoint.
“So what now?” he asked, not pulling away.
“Can I hold your hand?”
He froze.
“Wh–what?” Nakamura blinked. Matsumura's expression was annoyingly calm, but there was a flash of something across his face that looked a lot like shyness. Shyness?
“It's not like I can touch another boy so casually, but since we're both..." Matsumura paused, the word the two of them were thinking of at the tip of his tongue. “Well, it's not like we'd be outing each other. I think it would help.”
Huh.
But the more he thought about it, Matsumura was right. Wasn't he?
He would've been afraid of being alienated or avoided, if he'd tried holding another boy's hand or closer, too scared of the things he'd see on the internet about disgusted looks.
Nakamura swallowed. “Sure.”
“Really?” Matsumura looked like he didn’t expect him to say yes.
“Just do it! It's just holding hands, right?” he sputtered, a hot wave of embarrassment suddenly rushing through him,. “Unless you've changed your mind.”
There was a brief flutter of something in his stomach when Matsumura laughed lightly (How was even his laugh so nice!? It wasn't fair!), before slowly, a hand reached towards his. He let the fingers slide against his, warm.
The contact was tentative at first, uncertain, like Matsumura was unsure of his touch. His own hand was loose as well, like he could drop it any second and pretend this wasn't happening.
Yet after a few seconds, Matsumura's grip steadied immediately. Firm, but not too tight. Nakamura let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
Matsumura's thumb brushed up against his fingers first. He flinched slightly at the soft movement, but he didn’t pull away. So the other tried again. It felt different from when Hirose held his hand for a moment. It was a good difference, though.
This time, his thumb traced Nakamura's knuckles. It was more deliberate, like he was checking if Nakamura would start to freak out on him.
“You're doing that on purpose,” Nakamura muttered.
“Doing what?”
“You know. That.”
Matsumura's thumb paused. “Do you want me to stop?”
Nakamura bit his lip, huffing before saying, “No.”
It looked like Matsumura was hiding a smile. Ugh. But it wasn't as annoying as Nakamura thought.
Then, Matsumura shifted. He lifted his hand up slightly, like he was checking if he was allowed to move it at all.
He did something Nakamura least expected.
Matsumura kissed Nakamura's knuckles, quick and careful. The touch of lips to skin was so soft that it was almost like it never happened.
Nakamura jolted like he was being startled awake. His face went hot, no, worse than hot. On fire. It was like his thoughts had short-circuited, heart beating fast in a way that he only knew would happen whenever he was around Hirose.
“Huh!?” slipped out of Nakamura's mouth.
Matsumura stilled, dropping his hand.
The other was beginning to speaking hurriedly, but whatever frantic words came out of his mouth went to the back of Nakamura's mind as something small floated in his peripheral vision.
A leaf.
It had drifted from one of the overhead trees, landing on the pavement beside them. That alone wasn't what distracted Nakamura. The leaf wasn't gray, like everything else in Nakamura's vision was. It was…green? And it wasn't the idea of green, it was actually green.
“...I heard it's a thing people in the west do, so I–”
“Do you see that?” Nakamura cut him off so abruptly that Matsumura paused.
“See what?”
“The leaves, and the..." His eyes trailed to the side, the grass the same color as the leaf. He pointed at the plants, “the grass!”
Matsumura followed his finger, before his eyes widened. The same hand that had been holding Nakamura's own brushed over the tips of grass. “Is that green?”
No way.
It shouldn't have been possible. Only if your soulmate–
Only if your soulmate…
Nakamura's mouth opened and closed. After Matsumura had kissed his hand, he'd begun to see the color green. The timing was too close to be a coincidence, and it wasn't like there was anyone else who had touched him today.
Judging by the way Matsumura's gaze had turned towards him, he was thinking the same thing.
If someone had told Nakamura this would happen the first time he met Matsumura, he would've keeled over.
Matsumura. Matsumura! His soulmate?
They both had feelings for Hirose, and were equally as obsessive about him! But then there was the mall, and Matsumura's gentle voice and soft eyes as he helped the lost kid and Nakamura found himself thinking that he wouldn't mind it as much as he would have before.
Then there was now, with his hand so warm against Nakamura's in the night's chilly air. No one had ever looked at him the way Matsumura had just then.
He exhaled sharply. “Kiss me.”
“Nakamura, you...” Matsumura breathed his name with a hitch, and he was half-expecting the other to not move at all before Matsumura suddenly surged forward.
The lips against Nakamura's were soft, and Nakamura's eyes fluttered shut. He tasted faintly of dark chocolate. Was that what the other was eating before this? This was his first kiss, he couldn’t help but think. The arms sliding around waist to keep him from falling on his back were strong, and he instinctively grabbed onto Matsumura's shoulders. They were broader than he'd thought.
It felt like his emotions were scrambling all over each other. One moment he was crying about not being able to kiss Hirose, and the next he was kissing Matsumura without hesitation. But he had too see. He had to see if...
When they parted, he blinked rapidly, explosions of color filling his visions as his fingers dug into Matsumura's coat.
The night sky wasn't a dark gray like he'd known his whole life. It was blue. Blue! Tiny stars glittered above them, breathtaking against the dark color. The lake below reflected the moonlight, rippling silver and midnight. And above all else, the city with its soft yellow lights. He'd seen it before, but this time it was different, no longer a dull gray. The skyline glowed in the horizon, flashes of red and blue from far-away blinking lights.
For years, Nakamura had listened to his parents try to describe colors to him and Kana. It never came close to this.
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Matsumura whispered.
Nakamura's heart thrummed as he turned his gaze back to Matsumura, who was looking straight at him.
“Yeah,” Nakamura choked out, despite feeling that for some reason the other wasn't talking about the city at all.
He couldn’t help but think about how crazy this was. They weren't even close. Or friends, for goodness sake! This was a spur of a moment decision thanks to mutual heartbreak! Meeting the other half of his soul was something he hadn't been prepared for at all, not even now.
But when he met his gaze, he was staring at Nakamura like he'd hung up the stars. His eyes, Matsumura's black eyes, seemed to shine like the rippling waters of the lake.
His soulmate's eyes. Someone that was supposed to be there for him every step of the way, through thick and thin.
Matsumura's arm loosened around his waist. “Let's walk to school together tomorrow?”
The back of his neck was warm. “Okay.”
“Good. Because I want to know everything about you." Matsumura grinned, but the tips of his ears were red, noticeable now that Nakamura could see the color. Was his own face as pink as Matsumura's? And it didn't really matter that they weren't that close originally, did it? Nakamura had the rest of his life to learn more about him.
The feeling of sorrow and heartbreak that'd consumed his feelings the whole day felt like a fading nightmare as his soulmate pulled him to his feet, the hand in his a welcome dream.