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Kosei had invited Senri over to his college dorm.
Which isn't unusual, they're over at each other's dorms all the time. They have even given the other the spare key so they can barge in whenever they want.
Specifically being invited wasn't the strange part either. Kosei often invites Senri over for lunch or dinner (“eating with company is better than eating alone”), or to play board games, or to just sit in silence, basking in the other's presence as they do their own things. Sometimes Kosei even asks Senri to come over so they can study together, despite having such different majors. Senri figures Kosei just feels comfort in his company, and if Kosei were to confirm it, it would make Senri over the moon with happiness.
No, what was strange about this was the time. Kosei had asked Senri to come over at 0:30 at night. Not unbearably late but late for the two of them, since they both try to keep healthy sleep schedules. Senri, especially, is on top of keeping healthy habits, since having family working in the medical field makes it difficult to claim you “didn't know how harmful it is”. In fact, Senri was already asleep when he received that text from Kosei. (And yes, Senri has made sure that Kosei's texts and calls come through even when he puts his phone on do not disturb, Kosei's number even has a special ring tone so Senri can immediately recognise that it's Kosei calling or texting, sue him). But here he is now, right outside Kosei's dorm. Senri didn't even bother to change out of his pyjamas, just putting on a soft hoodie to fight the night's cold and some old sneakers and socks so he wasn't walking around barefoot.
He knocked and Kosei immediately opened the door.
“Kosei…!” Senri's tone was full of worry.
“I'm sorry for asking you to come this late.” Kosei responds, and he looks rough. His hair is a mess, his pajamas are all wrinkly and his eyes look tired.
“It's okay, Kosei. Are you alright?” He asks quickly. Senri honestly didn't care that he got woken up, he was just worried about his friend. Senri's hands reach up to touch Kosei's forehead, checking for a fever while the other hands cup Kosei's cheek.
“I'm okay, I just can't sleep.” The answer comes out rather weak, and Kosei places his hands on Senri's wrists, gently prying away Senri's hands from his face.
Kosei steps aside and invites Senri into his dorm.
They sit down to talk, Kosei on his bed and Senri on a chair he has pulled up to face Kosei.
“Do you want tips for falling asleep?” Senri hesitantly asks.
Kosei shakes his head.
“Are you worried about something? And that's why you can't fall asleep?” Senri curses himself for not remembering what assignments Kosei has been mentioning that he needs to be done lately.
“It's not that it's just…” Kosei's eyes are fixated on the floor. “It's a nightmare.”
“A nightmare?” Senri Echoes his words. Kosei nods.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Senri asks.
“No, but, it's making me not want to go to bed.” Kosei slowly shakes his head, his eyes not meeting Senri's.
Before Senri can open his mouth to say something, he hears Kosei's voice ring out again. This time it's quiet and small.
“Can you… stay the night?” He hesitantly looks up at Senri. Senri doesn’t think he has nodded quicker in his life.
Kosei continued. “And… can we share a bed? Like we used to as kids?” The last part Kosei added quickly. Looking back at the floor.
Senri broke into a soft smile. His tone was gentle when he answered. “Of course, Kosei. Whatever you need.”
- - - - - - - - - - - -
So, looking back, maybe it was a bad idea for Senri to immediately agree to share a bed with Kosei.
Because, you see, Senri is deeply and stupidly in love with Kosei. And not love in the way you love your friends, but love in the way you would feel for a lover.
In fact, he has been dreaming about a moment like this. Where he and Kosei could fall asleep in each other's arms.
But this time it's different. When they were kids, and they slept over at each other's house, it was common for them to share a bed. To hold each other throughout the night and wake up, still in the other's embrace. It meant nothing back then other than that they enjoyed each other's company. But it's different now, they're both adults, they're both in college. They're not small kids unaware of the romantic connotations of sharing a bed and holding someone close. But yet, Kosei asked Senri for this. Because he needed help, because he needed comfort, not because he loved Senri back.
Senri had removed his hoodie and socks and was now just back to wearing his normal pyjamas. Kosei had removed his pyjama shirt.
Him and Kosei were already laying in bed, Kosei had firmly wrapped his arms around Senri and he had his face nuzzled into Senri's chest. Senri prayed Kosei wouldn't notice his stupid heartbeat getting quicker.
Senri felt disgusting, here his best friend was, laying in his arms, because he needed comfort. Kosei was vulnerable with him, asked for something embarrassing at their age because he trusted Senri. And here Senri was, laying in Kosei's bed and thinking about how much he wanted to let his hands wander over Kosei's body and how much he wanted to kiss every part of Kosei's skin. How much he loved this and how much he shouldn't love this. Senri let his finger tips carefully run up Kosei's bare back, he felt every bump in Kosei's skin and the warmth that radiated from it. It satisfied a part of his desire to have Kosei all for himself. Kosei let out a satisfied hum.
He hugged Kosei closer, rested his nose on top of Kosei's head so he could breathe in the scent. Just to indulge a little longer, to ignore the stinging guilt in his heart.
“Senri, your heart is beating fast.” Kosei's words came out muffled against Senri's chest.
Kosei's words made him panic a bit, but Senri tried to cover it up with an annoyed huff.
“Well, this is all pretty embarrassing.” He argued.
Kosei let out a tired chuckle.
“It feels… so different from how it was when we were kids.” Kosei said, slightly gripping the back of Senri's shirt.
“Yeah, this is all kind of romantic, isn't it?” Senri said, bringing attention to what was previously unspoken of.
“I'm sorry I asked you to do this for my sake.” Kosei said, his voice laced with guilt.
“No it's okay, I said yes because I wanted to.” Senri reassured him, being a bit too honest.
“Even if this is rather romantic?” Kosei asked.
“Even if this is rather romantic.” Senri parroted Kosei's words.
“Is that why your heart is beating so fast?” Kosei innocently asked.
If Senri's heart wasn't already beating too fast, it certainly was now.
“Listen… Kosei…” Senri started slowly.
“It's okay.” Kosei cut Senri off. One of his hands has made its way up to Senri's neck, his fingers carefully played with Senri's hair.
“I want this too.” Kosei continued. “Because it's rather romantic.”
Senri hadn’t even noticed how tense his shoulders were until he felt them relax.
“Me too. Because it's rather romantic.” Senri answered, placing a soft kiss on top of Kosei's head. Kosei buried his face deeper into Senri's chest.
The knot of guilt in Senri's chest had untangled itself, and both Senri and Kosei fell asleep peacefully that night.