Work Text:
It was always the soft chimes, ringing each time you swinged the door open, that pulled me out of the daily tasks I imposed myself. I would usually pretend to be busy, hidden away in a part of the shop you couldn't yet see, while listening to the steps you would take while looking for me. Occasionally, they were swift and bright, and I understood you were having a wonderful day. Other times they were heavy, dragged out, and I knew you sought comfort. A few times they were silent, like you wondered why you were here, and I armed myself with a basket of fruits that would relieve your pain, if just a little.
I’m not sure when I started recognizing those steps, because I always made sure I never did, but they still made their way into my mind, and the patterns became a habit I couldn't tear myself from. Despite my reticence, it brought me solace. One that I wholeheartedly did not deserve, and one I refused to share with you. I cannot possibly pull you into the never-ending bore of ‘forever’ because I would rob you of the light you carry. I would keep you closer than your own skin; I would devour you beyond flesh and soul - and the pain of it would make you lose reason.
Yet I foolishly wish to hold you until the sea splits, until the rain pours to the skies. I long to stroke your hair and soothe the torments you are inflicted with, erase the violence you carry, and lie with you in the garden during storms. The moments we share seem to last seconds, and yet your absence feels like years apart. You’ve poisoned me beyond what I thought was possible, because when I watch you leave the shop, it takes everything in me not to beg you to stay.
I’ve grown to care about you too much. I’m aware you don’t know what it means for both of us, how painful and dreadful our supposed love could bloom and wither; and I’ve seen you go through enough abuse to be certain that I would rather stop breathing than to watch you drown to the depth of madness.
So if one day you finish your usual routine and stroll to the shop, do not fret if you find nothing. Do not be sad. Do not mourn me for long. Since I warned you at the beginning that I might disappear someday; please don't wait for me. You deserve something more than the mere kindness I give you. Not a million roses could replace the ache of us being apart.Even though the deafening silence will surround us, I promise to honor and transmit the tales you entrusted to me. I will forever treasure your words. I will capture your love in a field of flowers that shall never decay.
So please, despite it all, remember me, too.