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Chaos reigned supreme in Duodimension City. Everything was par for the course for the newest Phantasmoon Games. A horde of frenzied Imaginae causing a ruckus in the narrow Yum Yum alley was hardly noteworthy. Even if someone lost their life in the crowd stampede they caused, the news wouldn’t have deserved anything more than a short paragraph in the IPC-sanctioned newspaper.
“Not on my watch!”
The radiant hero made her entrance, jumping down from a building and effortlessly landing in front of her enemies.
“That raccoon mask! It’s the Trailblazer!”
“...Time to bring down the house!”
“Oh, you are finally back, Stelle!” Himeko looked up from her cup of coffee, “How come you still have that mask on ?”
“Oh! Eheh, I didn’t even notice I hadn’t taken it off. It just fits me so well, doesn’t it?”
Himeko stared back at her with a furrowed brow.
“... Is something wrong? You sound off, Stelle.”
“I’m a bit tired, that’s all. You know how the Trailblazer life is. Just need some rest, and I’ll be good as new.”
Stelle could tell Himeko wasn’t convinced by her words, so before her Astral Express senior could inquire further, she spun around and headed towards the end of the parlor car while waving her hand.
“I’ll take a nap in my room, just send March up if there are any new developments!”
Without waiting for Himeko’s reply, Stelle rushed through the door and into the party wagon. Since she was sure some of her companions were lounging around the bar, she didn’t waste time running up the stairs.
Every step she felt her chest clenching more and more. It was only when she closed the door of her room behind that she could finally take a breath.
“Aaaah…” Stelle exhaled, letting herself slide down to the floor, back against the wall.
Her hands grabbed the mask still hiding her face.
“I… I can’t take this anymore.”
Her golden eyes stared into the raccoon’s round black ones. It almost felt like the stupid animal was mocking her. A silly, irrational thought, but it was enough to ignite something inside her.
“Piece of garbage,” she hissed, standing up and throwing the mask on the floor.
Her foot was halfway up in the air already before she managed to stop herself from stomping on it. Her rage waned, giving place to both guilt and shame in equal parts. That mask was a gift that weird bunny girl had put a lot of effort into. Besides, what good would’ve done her to lash it out on an inanimate object like a toddler?
“Not like I could break a Supplicant Mask with my foot anyway,” Stelle muttered, leaving the raccoon mask on the floor and stumbling towards her bed.
The soft mattress caught her fall. Her bed was extremely comfortable as usual, but Stelle knew that a nap was not on the cards. Not when even sleeping at night was a problem nowadays.
“Daydreaming is all I got,” she whispered, covering her eyes with the back of her wrist.
Her mind was at least free to wander. Away from Planarcadia, away from yet another planet where she had to play the hero.
I wonder if I could sue Pom Pom for false advertising.
It really was maddening how far from its premises her journey on the Astral Express had led her. Trailblazing, exploring, pushing the limits of the known cosmos… how had they turned into a 24/7 babysitting job for the universe?
Of course, she had always known that was the destiny Elio’s script wanted to push her towards. But was she really not allowed a single moment of peace? Was every expedition going to turn into a fight of survival with her at the frontline? Into becoming an obedient dog for the IPC in anything but name?
I took a spear to the chest in Belobog… Battled a Lord Ravager on the Luoufu and a baby Aeon in Penacony. I had to see the whole universe being destroyed and reformed in Amphoreus… And now this…
If her previous adventures had been nightmares, Planarcadia was hell on earth for her. The dangers and enemies she had to face were nothing she hadn’t dealt with before but…
I’m constantly under a spotlight here.
Stelle had always joked with her companions about becoming a famous hero. Now that that silly idea had somehow turned real, she wished nothing more than to get her Oronyx powers back so she could turn back time and strangle her idiotic old self.
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
Being admired, adulated and applauded. It just made her stomach churn. But the worst thing by far was her fans approaching her to tell her how much they looked up to her and how much she inspired them.
How could anyone want to live this life, where you can’t land on a planet without getting dragged into a fight for the fate of the universe? How could someone wish for a life where everyone you love is always a step away from dying?
Want to take my place? Feel free!
So now not only she had to save yet another planet, but she had to do it while keeping up this ‘hero’ farce. It was no longer enough to run through fire, she had to dance in the midst of it while wearing that stupid mask.
I have to… otherwise the others…
No, she shouldn’t have blamed the others. Pom Pom, Himeko and Welt hadn’t tricked her. The new role of the Astral Express was an obligated one. And when it came to March and Dan, they would’ve gladly heard her out and helped lift some weight off her shoulders.
But I can’t tell them.
She would’ve come off as a whiner, wouldn’t she? Everyone dreamed of being a celebrity, so how could Stelle complain about having a whole manga about her own adventures?
“I’ll just keep it to myself, without doing anything about it, as I become bitter and bitter.”
Stelle grimaced. It wasn’t like her to act like this. Usually, when there was an issue, she tried to face it head-on.
But this time…
The real problem. The one that, if fixed, would’ve made everything else so much easier to face.
Firefly…
If she didn’t have to play the valiant hero of justice while her girlfriend was stuck in a healing pod, everything would’ve been fine, just like in the past.
How can I concentrate on these stupid Phantasmoon Games when she is sick? Shouldn’t I be out there, searching for a cure for ELS instead?
If only she could’ve talked to her, even for a minute. Maybe see her face. Touch her.
Is she even alive anymore? Silver Wolf could be hiding more memories from me, for all I know…
Stelle gritted her teeth. She wanted to run away. Right now. Search for her. Seeing Firefly seemed as important as breathing for her at the moment.
“But I can’t… She wouldn’t want me to run away…” Stelle sobbed, tears escaping through her closed eyelids.
Light blinded her when she opened to dry them off.
“...What?”
The fresh air of the Dream’s Edge tickled her skin as Stelle propped herself up with her elbows. Above her head, countless shooting stars coursed through the sky of the Golden Hour.
“Ah… I guess I really was tired, uh?” Stelle murmured, opening and closing her hand.
It felt so real. Dreams were the mirrors of one’s heart. When she had thought about fleeing to search for Firefly, the secret base was the first place that had irrationally flashed through her mind.
It was, after all, the only spot where she had ever truly felt at peace after waking up on the Herta Space Station. It was where she had reconnected with the woman she loved.
But Dreams can be a bit wonky, Stelle smiled.
Otherwise, why would a towering armor be the one waiting for her close to the railing, instead of a silver-haired girl, smiling with a sparkler in her hand.
Whatever. Stelle was not going to complain. Seeing Firefly was enough for her, no matter how she looked.
“Firefly!” she yelled, rushing and jumping to hug Sam’s neck from behind.
“Stelle! Geez, you scared me!”
“Hey, don’t move so much! Even if you are just a dream, I need to recharge my Firefly-batteries before I wake up!”
“A dream? I mean, technically, but…”
Soon Stelle found herself face to face with Firefly’s helmet. Her girlfriend was holding her from under the shoulders like an unruly cat.
“I’m real, Stelle! The real Firefly! I don’t precisely know how she managed, but Silver Wolf brought us inside this Dream Bubble together. Something about a mask amplifying her Ether Editing…”
“...Man, my subconscious is really smart for coming up with a backstory like this! Whatever, just let me cuddle!”
“Stelle…”
After putting Stelle down, Firefly pinched both her cheeks with just enough strength to drive the message home.
“See?”
“...You are the real Firefly? Like the real, real Firefly?”
“I told you! I mean, a normal dream wouldn’t look so… Stelle?! What’s wrong? Did I pinch you too hard?”
The tears that Stelle had managed to stop before had breached the dams again.
“FIREFLY!”
If before she had playfully hugged Sam, now there was only desperation fueling her. Her palms slid on the armor’s slick back as she tried to hold on to the person she loved the most in this world. Mighty, but extremely gentle, arms embraced her. Sam’s metallic voice somehow sounded tender close to her ear.
“I’m here. I’m okay.”
“You are okay?! You know how worried I was? They told me you were in a pod and… and…”
“I’m sorry, I wish I could’ve contacted you earlier.”
“No, wait, don’t apologize! Why am I making you apologize? I’m awful.”
“Shhh…”
For what felt like an endless amount of time, Firefly held Stelle close to her chest. The rumbling of Sam’s core lulled the Trailblazer, soothing all the pent-up emotions she had brought into this perfect dream.
“You are really here.”
“Yes.”
“But why?”
“Mmmh, remember what Silver Wolf said? ‘When it’s time to face yourself’. Well, it seems like you have some inner turmoil to deal with. You know how the script is: you can never take it literally.”
“So… I summoned you with my depression? I’m glad I didn’t go to a therapist.”
“I’m glad you can still joke around despite everything,” Firefly sighed, “but I’d really like to know what’s wrong and, most importantly, how I can help you, Stelle.”
“You being there is everything I needed. Nevermind me, is your treatment going well? How long till we can see each other for real?”
“I’m fine. It’s still hard to control Sam, but you know how I am, I can’t stand still for too long.”
Firefly pulled back from the embrace enough to caress Stelle’s cheek, but then suddenly she flicked her forehead.
“OW! That hurt! You have steel fingers, remember?! What was that for?” Stelle complained.
“Changing the subject.”
Firefly pressed her helm against Stelle’s forehead, almost as if she wanted to kiss it through the solid metal.
“I want to know what’s making my girlfriend sad, so I can beat it up.”
“...it’s lame. You really want to know?”
“Yes.”
It was surprisingly easy to let everything out. Not just because Firefly was kind, or because she wouldn’t have laughed or gotten angry at her.
“How could you do it all this time? Force yourself to be someone you are not? I feel like I’m already going insane,” Stelle lamented, “I never wanted to do this hero crap…”
“Stelle… the actual heroes are never the ones that ever dreamed to be ones. They rise to the occasion, and you, Stelle, you are the best at that. Always have been.”
“That’s… just a nice way to say I have a talent for making my life harder,” Stelle smiled bitterly.
“I know… but you are not alone, remember? Back then you had us Hunters, and we are still always thinking about you, of course. But you also have the Express now! So you-”
“I can’t,” Stelle shook her head, “They are also trying their best. I can’t bother them with my impostor syndrome too. I can’t show them how pathetic I really am.”
“I’m sure they would love for you to bother them… You always try to do everything on your own, Stelle,” Firefly let out a deep metallic sigh.
After taking a step back, she brought a hand to her chest plate.
“Firefly, what-?!”
In a flesh of green light and a swirl of flames, Firefly deactivated her armor. Stelle was quick to catch her in her arms.
“What are you doing?! You are still sick…”
“I can stay out of the armor and not get worse here, don’t worry!” Firefly smiled.
A weak smile. Even if it really was just a dream bubble, Silver Wolf’s powers were still replicating her actual health state.
“...Dammit…” Stelle’s eyes were welling with tears again.
“Don’t look away, Stelle,” Firefly grabbed her girlfriend’s hand and brought it to her cheek.
“These scars…” Stelle muttered, grazing them.
“They only appeared when I used Sam and at the very end in the Dreamscape, but in reality… they just don’t go away anymore.”
“Firefly…”
“I always thought I would’ve hated for you to see them but… I really don’t mind anymore.”
“Firefly… scars or not… you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen!”
A blush colored Firefly’s cheek, her smile turning gentler.
“I told you I’d show you all that I am, didn’t I? Both the ugly and the good parts. And you still accepted everything. So I’ll do the same. You don’t have to worry, Stelle. Whoever you are, I’m always going to be on your side.”
“...you are being unfair.”
“Well, I’m a villain, just like you are the hero, right?”
Stelle scoffed. She got what Firefly wanted to show her by removing her armor now.
“That’s not true. You are just Firefly. And I’m just Stelle. We are but two drifting souls in the cosmos meeting under a beautiful night with shooting stars.”
“I’m glad you remembered it… although, it’s kind of embarrassing.”
“Well… I will accept the awkward Firefly too.”
A deep sigh left Stelle’s lips. Firefly’s shape was getting hazier in front of her. She could tell these blissful moments were not going to last much longer. She hugged her girlfriend tightly, basking in the warmth of her slender body.
“Firefly… can you take me away?” she whispered into her ear.
“If that’s what you really want, I’ll fly to Planarcadia immediately. We can elope on that blue planet I told you about.”
“That would be nice…”
“...but you don’t actually want to, do you? You have a journey to complete, companions to protect, and a universe to save. That’s what makes everything so hard. We both want to be together, but we can’t yet. And it’s tearing you apart.”
“Couldn’t have said it better. But I feel… I feel like I can keep going for a bit longer now. Thanks to you.”
“The same goes for me. I’ll keep being Stellaron Hunter Sam for your and the others’ sake.”
“And I’ll keep being the Trailblazer. The world needs its hero, doesn’t it?”
“You sure will always be mine at least.”
Their lips touched under their shared sky, like many times before.
“Firefly?”
“Uhm?”
“I’ll make sure we’ll really be able to be just Stelle and Firefly one day. That’s what I’m going to keep fighting for.”
“And you’ll win. I’m sure you will.”
“Of course! The Galactic Baseballer never loses! But… one last thing. This really wasn’t a dream, right?”
“Well… I don’t know. Does it matter? I had a wonderful dream recently. It felt kind of bittersweet to wake up from it, but, you know, it also gave me the strength to face tomorrow with a smile.”
“Stelle?! Are you awake? Sparxie is making a mess down in Pearluxe Tower!”
The radiant hero opened her golden eyes. With decisive steps she traversed her room, stopping only to grab the raccoon mask she had left on the ground. She put it over her face, hiding the grin on her lips.
“It’s showtime!”