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Echizen Ryoga was not, by any reasonable metric, an idiot.
He could read people. He understood subtlety. He had, on multiple occasions, successfully navigated situations that required considerable social intelligence.
He was also, on this particular afternoon, about to cause an enormous amount of damage through the simple act of caring about his little brother.
He spotted Tezuka Kunimitsu practicing against a wall; composure intact, form perfect, the focused energy of someone who existed in a different category from ordinary humans; and decided this was an excellent opportunity to investigate.
"Hey, Tezuka-kun!"
Tezuka looked at him. The look said several things, none of them welcoming. "Echizen."
"Nice to see you too." Ryoga grinned. "I'm not here for the tournament. Just cheering on Chibisuke."
Tezuka nodded. "I'm sure your brother appreciates it." He had, in fact, been wondering where Ryoma had been redirecting his energy. Now he knew.
"He's been talking a lot lately." Ryoga said.
"It's good that you brothers can talk."
"He talks about you a lot." Ryoga watched him. "With a look I've only seen him give to one other entity."
Tezuka took a careful breath. "Is that so."
"His cat." Ryoga said. "Are you his traveling pet?"
"...Not quite."
Ryoga laughed. "I'm messing with you. I know you and Chibisuke are a thing." He paused. "He's asked me for advice, you know."
Tezuka went very still. "...What kind of advice."
"How to smoothly kiss a guy taller than you without it being awkward." Ryoga shrugged. "I put two and two together from there."
Tezuka processed this. Ryoma had been asking his brother for kissing advice. About him. He wasn't sure whether to feel touched or alarmed.
"I suppose I should greet you properly then." He bowed. "I am seeing your brother."
Ryoga stared at him. "Oh my god, please stand up."
Tezuka did.
"We haven't really put a name on the relationship." He said, carefully. "But you seem concerned."
"Of course I'm concerned. He's my little brother."
"I'm not being indecent with him." Tezuka said. "If that's your concern."
Ryoga blinked. "I don't mind if you're banging, I just don't want you to break his heart."
Tezuka frowned. The phrasing was alarming. The concern was, he supposed, reasonable. "I have no intention of hurting Ryoma."
"Intention is important." Ryoga said. "But you know what they say about roads paved with good intentions."
"We're seeing how things work out." Tezuka said. "I've been following Ryoma's lead."
Ryoga's expression shifted. "...That's a terrible idea."
Tezuka stared at him. "Why? He seems to know what he's doing just fine."
"He came to me for advice." Ryoga said. "On kissing. And dates. And- " he paused meaningfully, "-other things."
Tezuka stared.
"He wants non-tennis dates." Ryoga said. "He told me that much. He wants more."
"He could ask for them." Tezuka said, genuinely bewildered.
"Even Ryoma gets shy." Ryoga sighed the sigh of a man burdened by his brother's emotional constipation. "Look. Take him somewhere new. An amusement park or something."
Tezuka considered this. He had, as it happened, already purchased tickets to the zoo.
"I suppose that would be fine." He said.
"At least he didn't ask me how to ride a cowboy." Ryoga said. "He had me worried there for a second."
Tezuka choked on his own spit.
"That joke is completely inappropriate."
"If you ever wanna know, I have some tips!"
"My relationship with your brother isn't like that." Tezuka said, with great dignity.
Ryoga blinked. "...So you have no interest in being intimate?"
Tezuka cleared his throat. He was absolutely not discussing this with Ryoma's older brother. He looked at the wall. He looked at his racket. He looked at anything that was not Ryoga.
"Yikes." Ryoga said, reading the silence in entirely the wrong direction. "Looks like I need to rethink the advice I'm giving."
"I'm not- Tezuka started.
"Anyway. Guess I'll leave you to it." Ryoga clapped him on the shoulder. "Take good care of my brother."
He walked away.
Tezuka stared after him.
He had, he felt, just lost control of a conversation in a way he had not anticipated.
Ryoma had no idea any of this was happening. He was enjoying a rally with a friend, which was exactly how he preferred to spend his afternoons.
He spotted his brother afterward and went to find out what he'd been up to.
"What's with you?" He asked.
Ryoga patted his shoulder with the expression of a man preparing to deliver terrible news. "Alas. Poor, poor Ryoma. Never getting to enjoy a good dicking."
Ryoma stared at him. Turned red. Bristled. "What are you talking about!?"
"I thought I'd help you out and tried talking to your boyfriend." Ryoga shook his head. "That guy doesn't seem interested in having sex with you at all."
"...What?"
"He just brushed me off when I asked."
"Why would you even ask about that!?"
"You've seemed kind of frustrated." Ryoga shrugged. "Figured you might need the help."
Ryoma groaned. "It wasn't like I didn't already know."
"What kind of man doesn't want sex?" Ryoga looked genuinely baffled. "Is something wrong with him?"
"He's just not into me like that." Ryoma said.
It landed wrong when he said it out loud. It had been sitting at the back of his head for weeks, a low-grade worry, and saying it out loud gave it a specific weight it hadn't had before.
"Why are you wasting time on him, then?" Ryoga asked.
"Because life isn't just about sex."
Ryoga looked at him blankly. "What."
"It's true. We get each other. We're comfortable. That's what matters."
"Yeah, but how does that help when you're a sexually frustrated little asshole?"
Ryoma folded his arms. "...My hand works fine."
"Weird ass taste." Ryoga sighed. "You shouldn't have to struggle in a relationship like this."
Ryoma sat down. The weight was getting heavier. "I can't stop him from not being interested. Maybe he's only with me because it's easy. I don't demand anything."
"Then you gotta demand more." Ryoga said. "Don't change who you are for some guy."
"Not all of us get dates on horseback." Ryoma muttered.
"Ask for it. Make that guy give you what you deserve."
"We're fine the way we are."
"So stubborn." Ryoga huffed. "You got together at the wedding, right? Six months. You should ask him for more if you want more."
Ryoma threw a ball at him. "He doesn't even wanna put a name to it. What am I supposed to do?"
"Ask him to put a name to it? He seems emotionally constipated. You'll have to take the lead, bro."
"I have been." Ryoma said quietly.
Ryoga looked at him. "Then you gotta dump him."
Ryoma glared at him, stood up, and walked away.
Ryoga watched him go, certain he'd given excellent advice.
He had not given excellent advice.
Tezuka went back to training.
He hit the wall for another forty minutes with the focused energy of a man working through something he hadn't asked to be working through. The ball. The wall. The specific rhythm of it.
Ryoma wanted non-tennis dates.
Ryoma had been asking his brother for kissing advice.
Ryoma, apparently, had been wanting things he hadn't said out loud — which was, Tezuka reflected, somewhat hypocritical given that Tezuka had also been wanting things he hadn't said out loud, but that was beside the point. The point was that he had been following Ryoma's lead because Ryoma seemed to know what he was doing, and Ryoma had apparently been following Tezuka's lead for the same reason, and the result was two people who had been having dinner together three times a week for six months and calling it undefined.
He put the tickets to the zoo in his pocket and went to get takeout.
Ryoma answered the door like someone who had been in a bad mood and was attempting to conceal it. Tezuka had known him long enough to see through the attempt immediately.
"Buchou." Ryoma greeted, stepping back to let him in.
Tezuka held up the bag. "I thought we could eat in today."
Ryoma nodded. Something in his expression was closed off in a way it wasn't usually. Tezuka filed this away and said nothing, setting the food out with the same quiet efficiency he brought to most tasks.
"Your brother is a nosy man." He said.
"Yeah." Ryoma sat down. "Sorry about him."
They ate. It was comfortable, the way things between them were usually comfortable; the specific ease of two people who had spent enough time together that silence didn't require filling. But there was something underneath it tonight. Something that had shifted.
Tezuka noticed. He didn't push.
When the food was gone and the containers were cleared, he reached into his pocket.
"I got us tickets to the zoo." He said. "For tomorrow. If you wanted to go."
Ryoma looked at him. "...The zoo?"
"I thought you might enjoy it."
Something moved across Ryoma's face... surprise, and then something softer. "Didn't know you liked zoos."
"They can be interesting." An amusement park had seemed excessive. The zoo had seemed like something Ryoma would actually want to see.
"I want you to have a good time too." Ryoma said.
Tezuka looked at him. "I will." He paused. "I'll be with you."
He said it simply, the way he said most things, and went back to his tea. Ryoma went very quiet across the table.
They finished the evening the way they usually did. Tezuka walked to the door. Ryoma followed. The goodnight kiss had become a habit; a small deliberate thing that Tezuka had come to look forward to more than he typically admitted to himself.
He leaned in.
Ryoma let him kiss him but didn't lean into it the way he usually did. Something held back. Something not quite there.
Tezuka pulled back and looked at him. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Just tired." Ryoma said.
"You should get some good sleep for tomorrow."
"You too."
Tezuka paused. "I'll be looking forward to our..." He chose the word deliberately. "Date."
Ryoma's expression shifted into something small and real. "Yeah. Me too."
Tezuka nodded. Said goodnight. Walked back to his own room.
Something had been off all evening. He didn't know what. He turned it over in his mind the way he turned over a match — looking for the moment the balance had shifted, trying to identify what he'd missed.
He didn't find it.
Ryoma showed up to morning training pale and slightly hollow-eyed with what appeared to be three empty Fanta bottles suggesting he had not, in fact, slept.
Tezuka looked at him. "You look pale."
"I'm okay."
"Don't let your guard down, Echizen. You clearly need more rest." He paused. "Should we postpone our outing?"
Ryoma's brow furrowed. "Yeah, I guess."
Tezuka nodded. "I'll find a doctor willing to come check on you."
"I don't need a doctor." Ryoma said. "I just need a nap."
Tezuka stepped forward and pressed his forehead to Ryoma's to check his temperature- a practical measure, he told himself, not an excuse to be close to him- and felt the warmth immediately.
"You have a fever."
Ryoma stepped back. "I'll just go back to bed then."
"Let's stop by a pharmacy. Get some medicine."
"I'll go. You should keep training."
"I'll come back here once I'm sure you're comfortable." Tezuka said. "I can do that much."
"I don't need your pity." Ryoma said. "I can take care of myself."
Tezuka stopped. The words landed with an edge that wasn't usually there.
"I apologize." He said carefully. "I just-"
"Just go train." Ryoma said. "I just need a nap."
He walked away.
Tezuka watched him go.
He stood on the court for a moment in the specific stillness of someone who had just realized they had misstepped without knowing how.
He went back to training.
He thought about it the entire time.
Ryoma's hotel room felt smaller than usual.
He sat on the edge of the bed and thought about six months. Dinner three times a week. Tennis. The specific quality of Tezuka's attention when they were on court together; the way it felt like being seen by someone who didn't look at most people. The goodnight kisses that Ryoma had been telling himself were enough.
Maybe they weren't enough.
Maybe Ryoga was right and none of this was working.
His phone buzzed. He looked at it.
Tezuka.
[Are you okay? I'm coming to check on you.]
Ryoma stared at the message for a moment.
He texted Tokugawa instead.
[Can you bring me some fever medicine.]
Tokugawa Kazuya arrived with medicine and the calm, unhurried energy of someone who had dealt with worse things than a sick Ryoma and was not going to be rattled by it.
"You look terrible." He said. "Should we get a doctor?"
"Just a fever from not sleeping." Ryoma said.
"Is everything okay?"
Ryoma shook his head. "...No."
Tokugawa sat down. He didn't push. He just waited with the patience of someone who understood that some things needed a moment before they could be said.
"I don't think my relationship is working out." Ryoma said finally.
Tokugawa blinked. "I thought things were going well between you and Tezuka."
"I thought so too." Ryoma looked at his hands. "But he doesn't even call me Ryoma. We're like... just really good friends." He paused. "I feel like I have to ask him for everything. Like I'm the only one that really wants this."
Tokugawa was quiet for a moment. "Some people need a little more guidance." He said carefully. "I don't think I'd have agreed to nearly as much as I have if Houou weren't so assertive. I can't help but think it's the same for Tezuka."
"But I'm tired." Ryoma said. "I've been leading. I've been patient. And I still feel like I'm always on the outside of whatever he's actually feeling."
Tokugawa patted his back. "You really love him, huh?"
Ryoma nodded.
"He loves you too." Tokugawa said. "I can tell from the way he watches you."
Ryoma looked up. "Really?"
"He looks relieved when he spots you in a room."
"Because I'm familiar." Ryoma said. "He doesn't like change."
Tokugawa shook his head. "Because you're his safe space." He paused. "That's important for a man like Tezuka who is constantly being overwhelmed by his own fame. I can relate to that."
Ryoma thought about this. "A friend can be a safe space."
"I don't know anyone who looks at a friend quite like that, Ryoma."
Ryoma hung his head. "I never see it."
"It's the expression of a man who's not sure what to do with his own feelings." Tokugawa said. "Have you ever actually discussed any of this with him?"
Ryoma blinked. "We kiss each other goodnight every night. We go on dinner dates. I thought we were boyfriends."
"I spent months thinking what I had with Houou meant less than it did because of a misunderstanding." Tokugawa said quietly. "If I'd just talked to him it probably wouldn't have happened that way."
Ryoma looked at his phone. "I just didn't want to rock the boat. It was comfortable. But I can't stop wanting things."
"Maybe Tezuka wants things too." Tokugawa said.
"What if he doesn't?"
"That's for you to decide."
Ryoma took a breath. "I guess you're right."
Tokugawa smiled. "You can do it. Be brave."
Ryoma's phone buzzed.
Tezuka.
[Have you eaten? I'll bring you something.]
Ryoma looked at it. Then at Tokugawa.
Tokugawa raised an eyebrow. He was already standing up. "I should excuse myself."
Tezuka arrived with congee.
Ryoma let him in. Looked at the bowl. Looked at Tezuka, who had clearly left training early, walked to a restaurant, and come back across the hotel just to bring him something to eat when he was sick.
"You didn't have to bring me something." Ryoma said. "It's just a fever."
"In a situation like this I want to be someone you can rely on." Tezuka said simply.
Ryoma sucked in a breath. "Thanks." He took the bowl. "Sorry I snapped at you earlier."
"You weren't feeling well." Tezuka said. "I'm sorry I pushed your boundaries."
"No. You were just trying to help."
"I was treating you like you were helpless." Tezuka had clearly been thinking about this for some time. "I didn't mean to make you feel like you couldn't take care of yourself."
Ryoma shook his head. "You weren't. I just had a lot on my mind."
Tezuka sat down across from him. "What's bothering you?"
Ryoma looked at his congee. Thought about Ryoga. Thought about Tokugawa. Thought about six months of telling himself comfortable was enough.
"I've been thinking about us." He said.
Tezuka went still. "...I see." Was Ryoma having second thoughts? After pulling him into this? He had known it was a risk, getting attached, and now...
"I feel like I forced you into something you might not really want." Ryoma said. "I know you care about me. We're comfortable. But I feel like we've reached as much as you want from this."
Tezuka stared at him. "...I assure you, if this was something I didn't want I wouldn't have agreed."
"But you like where we are right now." Ryoma said. "You don't seem to want anything more."
Tezuka looked flustered in the specific way he did when he was processing something he hadn't anticipated. "Please don't decide things like that on your own. You only just turned eighteen."
"But you don't even call me by my name." Ryoma said. The thing he'd been not saying for weeks came out quietly. "We're like just really good friends." He paused. "Ludwig kisses me the same way you do."
Tezuka's brain stopped.
"What."
"You know. Like how all French people do."
Something in Tezuka's chest did something he chose not to examine too closely. "Please don't let other people kiss you." He said. "French or not."
Ryoma blinked. "Huh?"
"I don't want the person I'm in a relationship with getting kisses from other men." Tezuka said. He was aware this was perhaps more feeling than he typically allowed himself to express. He was also aware he didn't particularly care.
Ryoma's eyes went wide. "You... you don't?"
"Isn't that much obvious?"
Ryoma stared at him. "You're jealous."
Tezuka cleared his throat and looked at a point slightly to the left of Ryoma's face. He was, in fact, jealous. He was not going to say that.
"I'm glad." Ryoma said softly.
Tezuka looked at him.
"I can start using your given name." He said. "If you'd prefer that."
Ryoma's expression shifted into something warm. "I would like that."
"Okay." Tezuka said. "Ryoma."
The name felt different in his mouth than Echizen. More specific. More deliberate. He understood why Ryoma had wanted it.
"Thanks." Ryoma said. "Kunimitsu."
Tezuka felt his composure do something complicated. "Buchou is fine." He said. "I like that you still call me that."
Ryoma laughed. "Kinda weird. But okay."
"It's a nickname." Tezuka said, with great dignity.
"Alright, Buchou." Ryoma was still smiling. "...Have you eaten?"
"I had some instant noodles after training."
Ryoma rolled his eyes. "You should eat something else."
They were quiet for a moment. The specific comfortable quiet of them. Ryoma eating his congee. Tezuka watching him with the expression he was apparently making at Ryoma constantly without realizing it... the one that Tokugawa had apparently noticed, the one Ryoga had apparently noticed, the one that had somehow not communicated itself to the one person it was directed at.
He was going to have to work on that.
"You can always talk to me." He said. "When something is bothering you. Ryoma."
Ryoma looked at him. "I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable. When I heard you had no interest in me physically I guess I just... Lost hope."
Tezuka blinked. "...What?"
"Ryoga said you don't want to do that kind of stuff with me."
Tezuka looked mortified. "I didn't want to discuss those things with your brother." He said. "There's a difference."
Ryoma's mouth formed a small o.
"Please don't listen to your brother." Tezuka said.
"Okay." Ryoma said. "I won't."
A silence.
"I'm willing to do more with you." Tezuka said carefully. "Now that you're of age. When we started dating you were only seventeen."
Ryoma studied him. Then, with the particular generosity that was entirely Ryoma: "Don't worry about it, Buchou. I'm fine if we don't. I know you still care about me."
Tezuka looked at him. "...You think I don't want to?"
"You seem like you would rather be talking about absolutely anything else."
"It's a topic I'm not well versed on." Tezuka said. "That's all."
Ryoma sighed. "Neither am I. You're my first boyfriend."
Tezuka looked at him. "I don't know how you're so composed all the time."
Ryoma blinked. "I'm not. I have to take care of myself after almost every date."
Tezuka felt something. He wasn't going to identify it specifically. "...I do as well."
Ryoma's face went through several expressions in quick succession before landing on something dangerously close to delighted. "Really?"
"You look way too happy to hear about it."
"I'm relieved." Ryoma said. "That I'm not the only one feeling this way."
"You have done a good job seducing me." Tezuka said, which was perhaps the most honest thing he had said in this entire conversation.
Ryoma turned red. "Not quite yet."
"I suppose there is further to go."
Ryoma reached up and pulled him down. "Yep. We have lots more to work on." He smiled and kissed him.
Tezuka let his guard down, just a little. Just enough.
He kissed back.
And that was how they learned to never trust Ryoga on matters of the heart.