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There was being scared, and there was being scared shitless. Lilja knew she had no business being in this fight, but here she was, wishing she were back in Fuessen, hammering steel and humming the day away. Ever since joining the Wardens, her life had spiraled quickly into the painfully unexpected and experiences that made her glad that dwarves couldn't dream. She had killed darkspawn as she had sworn to do, but she had also killed people, mercenaries that wanted her dead for no reason other than the armor off her back and the sword in her hand. None of it compared to the catastrophe she was in now, though. Lilja had never seen anything like it, and she wished she never had as she hacked at one of the tentacles popping up from the ground in the sea of gore and dead bodies. What had started as a fight and push back against a large darkspawn nest slowly turned into them pushing further and further into the Deep Roads until they found themselves face-to-face with a Broodmother and her kin.
All Lilja knew was that she had to keep swinging. No matter what, keep swinging. That's what her father had told her before she left on this mission. She gritted her teeth through the pain and exhaustion of her muscles, not yet built to stand the endurance of long-fought battles. But she knew that Wardens didn't know when to quit, even when their backs were against the wall. It had been ingrained in her mind. You battled through everything, even when your body said to stop. Her only option was to fight and find a way through.
Lilja slammed her shield against an encroaching darkspawn ghoul before stabbing it, only to find that she was now standing directly in front of the Broodmother. Before she had a chance to dodge, a large hand covered in slime and refuse wrapped around her ankle and yanked her upwards, dangling her upside down as she screamed in terror.
"No, no, no!"
This was it. She was going to get ripped away and eaten by this horrific beast. She was a blacksmith, not a warrior.
No matter what, keep swinging.
"Fuck!" Tightening her hand around her sword, she looked up at the hand holding her ankle, then the arm moving her closer to the mouth of the beast. Desperate to survive, Lilja pulled herself upwards and swung at the arm, but missed. She had no choice but to try again. This time, she swung herself backwards a bit to get some added momentum before reaching and swinging her sword as hard as possible. It sliced all the way through the arm, which resulted in her now careening towards the ground. Lilja reached out and felt her sword catch on something, slowing down her rate of descent but not stopping it. High-pitched wails filled the air, making her ears ring.
When she hit the ground, Lilja found herself covered in pitch-black blood and thick tar-like slime. As she looked up, she was greeted by the sight of the Broodmother sliced open and slumped over. Her sword had caught on the beast and ripped through it like a knife in butter. The sight of dead bodies, half-decayed and processed, falling out of the Broodmother's stomach sent Lilja's stomach into a churn. The putrid smell of rot hit her nose, sending her body reeling in disgust and repulsion. Rolling onto her hands and knees, Lilja gagged before vomiting the contents of anything in her stomach until all that was left was vile acid that stung the back of her throat. She tried sniffling her nose, only to catch a whiff of darkspawn rot and vomit, causing her to gag once more. She needed to get away.
Struggling to stand up, she used her sword as an aid to stumble and trip through bodies and sludge. Once far enough for the smell to no longer be as repulsive, Lilja exhaled, sat down, and lay on her back, her chest rising and falling as she breathed heavily from the exertion. There were no more darkspawn. The Broodmother was defeated. Her team- Lilja's eyebrows furrowed. Why was no one in her team walking over to her? They weren't the greatest of folks, but they weren't that heartless. Groaning as she sat up once more, Lilja looked around at the state of the cavern to find it covered in blood, gore, and bodies of both darkspawn and people. She spotted each person in her team, dead.
She was the sole survivor.
Exhausted. Wounded. Pissed off. Lilja trudged through the gates of Weisshaupt, ignoring that she could stop at her parents' home in the township of Fuessen first before heading to the First Warden's office in the middle battlements. With instinct and a strong gut feeling, Lilja suspected that what happened in the Deep Roads and the Broodmother was done with a purpose and intention. Her group was sent on what should have been an impossible mission, where none of them should have survived or returned.
As she hobbled along, holding her side that she had been carefully nursing with an elfroot healing salve the entire trek back, villagers and other Wardens slowed down to take her in. None of them asked if she needed help; the look on her face likely deterred everyone away. She knew word would get to her parents and fast, though, so she needed to get her personal business handled first.
She reached the interiors of the fortress and climbed spiral staircase after spiral staircase with aching legs until she was in the area that hosted the offices and war room. Without even the smallest knock, Lilja barged into First Warden Jowin's office and threw the sword of her group's leader onto his desk, sending papers scattering.
"Are you happy with what you did?" she growled.
"Warden Thorne, what is the meaning of-"
"You set us up! You sent the group I was in into a nest of darkspawn and Broodmother, you fucking bastard."
"You've lost your damn mind, Junior Warden." The First Warden stood up, towering over her. "You keep talking like that, and you'll be sent to the dungeons."
"For what? Calling you out for what you did?" Lilja took another step forward, but stopped when a nearby guard placed their hand on their sword hilt.
"I must admit that I'm not completely saddened by the loss of delinquents within the ranks," stated the First Warden. "However, I do wonder how you keep managing to escape death. No other Warden has ever been so lucky."
"I can hear the disappointment in your voice," grumbled Lilja. "The nest is handled. So is the Broodmother. You're welcome."
Lilja turned on her heels and left the office without another word. All she wanted now was to go home to her parents', where she could find a hot bath, good food, and a comfortable place to lay her head until her next assignment.