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Only a moment before, the garden had been the perfect temperature for a picnic with a new friend; but with one sentence from Gwendolen, the air seemed suddenly as cold as a winter's day.
"You are engaged to Ernest?" Cecily heard herself say, as if from a great distance.
"Certainly!" Gwendolen smiled. What had been a charming smile just a moment before now appeared to Cecily as the cunning smile of someone holding a dagger behind her back—and what a thrilling picture that was! She would have to enter the moment in her diary later, after all this business with Ernest had been sorted out. "I had a locket made." She unclasped the necklace she was wearing and handed it to Cecily.
Cecily looked down at the locket. Curled in her hand, warm from its place against its owner's skin, it seemed unassuming: but Cecily knew that within, it could carry only bad news. Her heart thumped as she popped the tiny lock and looked at the portrait within. Her breath caught in her throat.
"Is this an accurate portrait?"
"Why, of course not!" Gwendolen exclaimed. "It is only the painters with the least talent that need to hew precisely to real life, since they have no imagination of their own. It is most unfortunate to need to paint exactly what one sees."
"How much of his imagination did the painter use?"
Gwendolen leaned forward to study the tiny portrait. "I do believe Ernest's nose is somewhat straighter and his eyebrows thinner than they have been depicted."
"This is not Ernest!" Cecily declared. She pushed the locket into Gwendolen's hands. "This man is no other than my own guardian, Mr. John Worthing."
Gwendolen's mouth fell open. "Whatever could you mean, dearest Cecily?"
"Just what I say! I admit it is not always fashionable to tell the truth, but in this case, it is the only way to ensure happiness for the both of us."
"If I say this man is Ernest, and you say he is John, how are we to know which of us is right?"
Cecily pushed back her chair as she stood. "Let me show you something, dear Gwendolen."
Together they hurried to the library of the great manor house. Along the back wall was hung a collection of portraits. The largest was of Cecily's father, of course, but next to his was a more modest portrait of Jack. His name was engraved upon a plaque affixed to the frame.
Gwendolen stiffened. "How accurate a portrait is this, if I may inquire?"
"Uncle Jack must not know about the fashions in art, for he picked a most untalented painter. This portrait is a perfect resemblance." Cecily tilted her head as she looked at it. "We shall have to have a new one painted."
"How could Ernest say that he is John?"
"Or Uncle Jack say that he is Ernest?"
The two of them frowned at the portrait.
"Cecily?" The voice floated over to them through the library doors, but even at a distance, it was clear it belonged to Cecily's fiancé.
Cecily blanched. "Gwendolen! If Uncle Jack is really called Ernest, as you say, then he could not possibly have a wicked brother called Ernest. If he is really called Jack, then he is pretending to be Ernest in the city, which he would not do if he had a brother called Ernest. My fiancé may be Uncle Jack's brother, but he is certainly not called Ernest!"
Gwendolen blinked. "My Ernest has never mentioned a brother."
Cecily frowned. "This grows curiouser and curiouser!"
The voice called her name, closer than it had been.
Gwendolen went to the window and peered out.
"What are you doing?" Cecily hissed.
"I thought perhaps if Ernest—oh!"
"What is it?"
"This man is your fiancé?"
"Cecily!" called the voice again.
"If you had asked me that ten minutes ago, I should have said he was, but—"
"That is my cousin Algernon!"
"Algernon?!"
"Follow my lead," Gwendolen whispered. She looped her arm through Cecily's and led her out into the garden.
"Cecily!" Algernon came forward and kissed her, jumping back when Gwendolen cleared her throat. "Good heavens! Gwendolen! What are you doing here?"
"Do you mean to say you know my newest friend?" Cecily asked. "This is too wonderful!"
"What a pleasant coincidence! I believe it is your story to tell," Gwendolen said.
Algernon stared at her, wide-eyed and speechless. "It is no more my story than yours."
"Ah, but I believe you will find I suggested you tell it first."
"Er—Cecily—this is my cousin."
"Then you must be Uncle Jack's cousin, too!" Cecily said, turning to look at Gwendolen. "He has never mentioned a cousin."
"I do not believe men like to discuss their relations. It is strange, is it not? One would think they were ashamed of having any relations whatsoever."
"They'd rather we believe they came from nowhere," Cecily agreed. "Perhaps born of sea-foam, like Venus."
"It is rather romantic to have no family. The best novels are about orphans, after all."
"Talking of family—Ernest, you must introduce me to your mother. Jack never has."
Algernon, apparently relieved not to be the focus of their attention for a moment, went pale. "Why, of course, darling. I couldn't deny you anything before our wedding."
Cecily looked sideways at Gwendolen. Two pairs of lips tightened before Cecily turned her gaze back to Algernon. "And your father?"
"My, has Jack introduced you to anyone?" Algernon tugged at his tie. "Well, no matter; I can introduce you to both at once."
Cecily's eyes flicked back to Gwendolen, who shrugged minutely.
"May I inquire as to how you plan to introduce us?" Cecily asked sweetly. "Do you happen to know a talented medium?"
"A—a what, my dear?"
"It's only that dear Uncle Jack has no parents. He hasn't had them since he was a baby, in fact."
Algernon stiffened before seeming to collapse in on himself.
"There, there," Gwendolen said, patting his shoulder. "Your plan might have gone off perfectly if I hadn't been here to foil it."
"Don't comfort him!" Cecily said. "He has—"
"Of course!" Gwendolen shook her head. "How could you do this to my dear friend Cecily!"
"I only wanted to meet you!" Algernon pleaded, sinking to his knees on the grass. "Ernest had said—"
"I can hardly blame you for that," Cecily said. "Anyone should be glad to meet me. But why couldn't you come as—" She shuddered.
"Algernon," Gwendolen supplied, putting her arm about Cecily's shoulders.
Algernon opened his mouth before closing it again.
Gwendolen shook her head. "He has nothing to say for himself!"
"One should always know what they will say if they're caught in a deception," Cecily said sternly. "It looks foolish to stand there gaping like a fish."
"It's true, I have nothing to say. I can only think of how despondent I will be if you do not forgive me, Cecily! I could not live my life without you now that you are in it!"
"What a romantic speech," Cecily told Gwendolen.
"Is a romantic speech enough to forgive what he has done?"
Cecily tilted her head to one side. "I believe so, if only because I do love him."
Algernon looked up at her with stars in his eyes.
"However, it remains that I cannot marry an Algernon!"
"I plan to be christened Ernest this afternoon!"
"Oh, do you?" Cecily cried. "Oh, Ernest!"
He got to his feet and caught her up in his arms. "My dear Cecily!"
"I do so hate to interrupt your reconciliation," said Gwendolen, not sounding particularly sorry, "but do you, in fact, know Jack?"
"Yes," said Algernon, "though, as you have discovered, I am not his brother. Nor, it seems, do I know him very well, since I did not—"
"Is his name Jack or Ernest?"
Algernon frowned at her. "He is Jack in the country and Ernest in the city, but it is John that he was christened."
"John!" Gwendolen exclaimed. "Oh, I had so hoped—"
"I shall not rest until we have found Uncle Jack and made him beg for your forgiveness on bended knee, Gwendolen," Cecily declared. "You deserve just as romantic an apology as my Ernest gave me!"
Gwendolen grinned and looped her arm through Cecily's. "Let us go at once!"
"But—" Algernon said, watching them turn heel and go.
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," Cecily called over her shoulder, "and after all, we were engaged before ever we met!"
"I suppose I can't argue with that," Algernon said to himself, taking out a cigarette, "though I didn't know that I had proposed until after. Still, I can't say that this Bunburying has not been a great success."
He smiled as he watched his fiancée go.