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Summer.
Lila’s least favorite time of the year.
She had to hang out with people she didn’t know, Had to go to places she didn’t want to go to, and the worst, being alone with her own thoughts.
She had also hit puberty so that was great.
there was one thing she had been struggling with the most.She kind of well..
hated being a girl.
she hated how people would hold her back from doing stuff she couldn’t do, She hated patting down her chest everyday and she kind of wanted to- wait no-wanted to be a boy.
”WAKE UP SIS!” Her sister yelled, while shaking the bunk bed they shared.
“oh my gosh- what do you want?” Lila yelled at her older sister, who was pissing her off.
”why are you staring into the abyss thats what I want to know-“
Lila stayed silent for a moment, before her sister started climbing down and sat next to her.
“ lil sis, you can tell me whats wrong- Wait- is it a boyyy-?”
”jordan you cant just say that- mom and dad are sleeping-“
”No, they’re out right now.”
”oh.” Lilas eyes sparkled as she realized that she could say whatever without getting in trouble. She trusted her sister, even though she pissed her off some times she still loved and trusted her.
”yes they’re out with the neighbors that just moved next door, they didn’t want to wake you up and stuff-.”
Lila sat as she thought if she could say what was swirling in her mind.
”Jordan-“ Lila breathed in deeply.” I don’t- really like being a .. girl.”
”what?”
”uh- nothing-“
”No, no I heard you I’m just shocked.”
”why?” Lila questioned as Jordan stared at her.
“Lila, do you know what this means?” Jordans tone turned serious as she told lila.
”Lila, have you ever heard of the word-‘transgender’?” Jordan kept on questioning her.
To Lila it felt like a pressure on her chest.
”n-no?”
” Alright then, Lila- it means when you hate your gender or so- you change it. You got that?”
”mhm.”
”Now lila, do you want to be my brother? Do you want to be a boy?”
Lila’s mind shot at the words. It felt, well- Good to be called a boy. To be called a brother. A son.
“Kind- of?”
Jordans mouth turned into a grin as she started to bounce her leg- before she god up and started jumping around and giggling happily.
“Lila- or whatever you want to be called by, I will support you. No matter what.”
TIME SKIPP!!!!!!
the pelack family had moved out of their house- well not all of them.
Liams father went to jail. He had raped him, abused him, done shit that nobody had expected from such a kind man like him. His mom was a smoker now, smoking around a pack a day. His grandma had moved in as she was old and needed help. Also his mom got a new boyfriend- aldrero. He was some guy she found at a rave and then the guy just moved in. They had moved into a apartment that was quite spacious.there was 3 bedrooms, One for Liam and his sister, One for grandma and another for mom and they guy she found.
“Martha! how are you this stupid!” Liams grandma yelled in a raspy voice as she screamed at his mom.
“Oh please- We can clean up the smell- its not like the landlord is gonna notice!”
“Yes he will- and you know that we won’t get away with it this time!”
they were screaming at each other again. They did this all the time- usually getting a noise complaint and making the landlord give them a warning.
Jordan was out, at college where she didn’t have to deal with all of the screaming. Jordan was Liams best friend- other than Owen, and had been there all his life, making sure he wasn’t doing stupid shit.
When he had gotten raped, she came over for a week just to make sure he was ok.
Liam hadn’t came out to his mom- which was a big problem. He had cut his hair short, been wearing stuff from his friends who were also boys and had been acting very guilty lately.
The screaming had escalated now, which was just shit talking both him and jordan.
”HA! Its not my fault that you made your daughter leave you just because you wouldn’t let pressure off her!”
“WELL- Im not the one that made LILA cut her own wrists!”
”Oh cmon- you told her she was overreacting when she got raped and then you defended him!”
”you defended him too!”
that was a double blow. Not only mentioning his rapist- but just calling him a girl made him sick.
it was so tiring hearing them screaming at eachother. Thank god he was moving out.
Liam popped in his headphones as he left the apartment complex, he had texted Owen seeing if he wanted to hang out.
”Liam my G.O.A.T- whats up man!”
they had decided to meet on top of the pizza place they worked at as they both had keys and could just go in whenever since the place didn’t have good security.
Liam breathed in the fresh air as he sat at the edge of the roof, looking at the cloudy night sky. It was the summer so he didn’t have a curfew.
”hey your quiet tonight- whats going on?”
”nothing, just the people I call family screaming at eachother.”
“damn man- thats-“
*ring*
fuck.
“h- hello-“
”Lila get your ass home right now.”
”o-ok.”
”…”
”…”
”who’s lila?”
”nobody.”
liam croaked out before he started sprinting across the roof to get out.
liam ran to get back to the apartment- he had all his stuff there but he was scared to face his mom.
As he stepped into the apartment he was greeted with his mother sitting on a creeky wooden chair.
“Lila pelack.”
”y-yes ma?”
”What are you doing out there with those boy clothes on?”
”I’m trying something ou-“
He was cut off as his mom stood up and slapped him across the face.
“lila. You are not a boy. You are a young lady with so much potential and you’re dressing like this? What the hell is up with you?!”
”I’m sorry mama-“ Liam sobbed out.
”Don’t start with your little act. Change out those goddamn clothes and stay in your room. You can keep your phone.”
liam stuttered out a few apologies before he walked back to his room, tears starting to fall down his cheeks and a stinging sensation in his left cheek starting to form.
Liam finally made it to his room, where he started to bawl his eyes out quietly. He couldn’t risk his mom hearing and in her words- “Giving ya a real reason to cry for.”
He took out the little stash of blades under his bead, finding one that had no rust, was clean, and wouldn’t get his wounds infected.
He dashed the blade across his skin, it leaving a scar behind.
the next cut he did it deeper.
again.
again.
again.
again.
again.
again.
again-
His head started to feel dizzy after a while.
his vision started blurring. As he opened his eyes he could see that his nose started to bleed too.
was this really the end?
he didn’t really care anymore.
nothing mattered.
What was the point any-
He could hear muffled knocking and people coming into the house. He couldn’t risk make out the words-
“child”
”protective”
”services?”
oh.
they would probably find him there, dead on the floor-
as the door flung open he could see around 5 people with important looking badges he could care less about and he could see their shocked and horrified faces.
”someone get this kid and ambulance! Get the police here too!”
multiple people rushed to his side, telling him things he couldn’t hear.
He looked out the window that showed the horrified faces of his friends and a few other random people.
This was embarrassing he thought as he was put on a stretcher and carried away.
thats when everything blurred.
He survived, of course but he was set to live with his aunt, and he moved out a couple months later.
Liams eyes popped open and looked around the dark room. He was laying in a bed- oh he was just laying in bed with Bryce. He was safe. He was ok.