Chapter Text
The first thing Jin thinks when he pulls his eyes open is simple: Why? He had died. He slowly crumbled into ether as a final act, both to repent for his failure to keep Lora's wish true, and to ensure Rex and his friends will be able to reach the top of the World Tree, not to save the world, but to save Malos. Why was he alive? How could he remember?
Jin stares up at a blue sky and aches. He watches the clouds roll across the sky for what must be hours, struggling to come to terms with his life and the options he had. Lora was dead. Mikhail, Akhos, and Patroka, they had all died following his suicide mission to the World Tree, too. Was Malos still alive? Were Rex and his friends alive? Was there anyone left that he knew?
Eventually, feeling heavy, Jin slowly sits up. As he does so, he notices something in his hand. Lifting it, Jin uncurls his fingers, and his heart drops at the sight of a purple Core Crystal sitting in his hand. Jin stares at it. And he stares at it some more. And finally, Jin curls his fingers around it again, feeling a pain not unlike when Lora's heart tried to give out in his chest.
He's not sure he could find someone who could heal him, if Lora's heart was failing now. The world around him was unfamiliar, with no landmarks that he recognized; finding Pyra to heal him temporarily wasn't an option if this was urgent. The idea of someone strange finding Malos's Core Crystal, though, was nightmarish. Malos had already been through so much. He was first awoken by a Driver who led him down a path of destruction, and Jin couldn't imagine letting that happen to Malos a second time.
He's not sure he has much of a choice, ultimately. Jin clutches the Core Crystal to his chest, the heart within it hurting worse as he grieves, and for a long moment, Jin can only cling to Malos's Core Crystal and weep. He's stuck thinking of all the ways he might have failed the last person he might be able to save.
By the time Jin pulls himself together, the sky is starting to darken. Slowly, he decides there will never be a better time than now to get to his feet and start walking. It doesn't take him long to notice the differences in the creatures around him. He can't imagine this is an undiscovered Titan, and yet, he's never seen any of these creatures before, even on Titans that sunk centuries ago.
He wishes this new place could leave him with wonder, but all he can think of is the times he and Lora visited a new Titan, and the expression of awe on Lora's face every time. Jin hadn't been as captured by the beauty of nature around him, but seeing Lora so struck by the beauty of the world made it much easier for Jin to see beauty in it, too. Jin was used to this hollow feeling, though, staring out at a new place.
Standing next to Malos, neither of them experienced awe for something so simple as how trees grew differently from place to place, or the colorful blooms of flowers. They'd never so much as stopped to consider the world. Jin only felt the dull ache of grief grow when he tried.
Now, he was forced to look at his surroundings. He had been around for five centuries, and so he knew Alrest like the back of his hand, whether he liked to or not. There was no choice for Jin but to look for landmarks or familiar creatures, and keep an eye out for any settlement he could find. Jin could not let his heart fail in a strange place, and leave Malos unprotected, even if it meant wading chin-deep through sorrow.
The moon moves slowly across the sky as time passes with no luck, and then Jin's stomach growls. It's so sudden it causes him to stop, and he stares down at his torso for several moments. Had that come from him? As a Flesh Eater, it had been possible he would need food, but Jin was lucky. He's never needed to eat, before, and he's certainly never been hungry.
Eventually, Jin reluctantly tucks Malos's Core Crystal safely away so he can hunt and forage, instead of clinging to it as if it would be ready to resonate soon. By the time Jin is eating, he's hungry enough to make his hands shake, and the plain meat and vegetables he's hunted and foraged taste delicious, even without seasoning. He never realized that hunger could make arguably bad tasting food taste good. But, if that were the case, he should find water soon. If he was hungry, it was reasonable to think he might end up dehydrated from lack of water, as well. Taking care of Lora for so long had its perks, he guessed.
Jin doesn't like to cook anymore, though he had for Torna in the past. Akhos had taken up cooking at some point, and had silently taken over at another. Jin had to wonder if Akhos simply liked doing it, or if someone had noticed how detached Jin became while making meals.
He knew that he hadn't eaten in some time. Even Malos ate his meals, and Jin knew he likely hadn't been bothering with eating before he found Jin. Not before they found Mikhail, either, at any rate. Jin hadn't started cooking again until Mikhail had been rescued from Indol, and Malos had eaten that first meal, just to try it. Jin couldn't imagine Mikhail had asked Malos to eat with him, when Jin refused to do so. Jin didn't think Malos would have just eaten to make Mikhail feel better, either. Not unprompted.
Jin wonders if Malos was trying to encourage him to eat what he made, to sit down and eat dinner. He wonders if Malos thought it would ground him. He wonders if Malos continued eating the meals Akhos made, even when Jin never joined the table.
Jin wonders if he made Malos more human.
By the time he's finished his food, he feels much better. His chest doesn't hurt quite as much, though it still has an ever-lingering ache. More importantly, he doesn't quite feel like he's going to die face down in the dirt, somewhere. He was still tired. Sleep was something he was used to needing, but it was unfortunate nonetheless. Leaving his campfire lit, Jin reluctantly settles down to sleep. Until he pulls Malos's Core Crystal back out of his pouch, though, rest does not find him.
Jin does not dream.
Jin wanders this way for several more days. He finds water, drinks it, and feels much better. He hunts and forages for things to eat, and learns what he can and can't eat. He clings to Malos as he sleeps alone under unfamiliar stars and no dreams plague him as he does. And finally, he finds people.
What strikes him immediately are the lack of Blades among them. Or, more accurately, how common wings on the head and metallic skin seemed to be, while Jin doesn't see a single Core Crystal anywhere. He looks. If this was an undiscovered Titan, he wasn't terribly surprised. Even if one considered Ardanians the 'standard', humans having different features related to their Titan was not unheard of. There were the Gormotti, with animal ears and fur, and the Uryans, with fin-like features. They related to the Titan they were from, though Jin wasn't sure what Titan type would give rise to bird wings on the head and metallic skin.
Because of that, he doesn't find it too odd that these humans take him in easily. His mask must look strange, but they cannot see his Core Crystal like this, and have no reason to question it. He learns this Titan was called 'Bionis', and that it was dead now. He wonders how big this Titan must be, if it had fallen and died, and they still had land above the Cloud Sea to live on. Jin ends up being directed to someone in their military force once he mentions needing a doctor, though he doesn't mention Malos. He'll need to find people who knew what Blades were, first. Hopefully, it would only be these people who had no Blades among them.
Knocking twice on the office door to the infirmary, Jin remains quiet as he waits for a response. "Sorry, come in!" A woman's voice calls out after a few beats of silence, and Jin steps into the room. The architecture was remarkably metallic. The whole place looked like it was under reconstruction, really; it wasn't just this doctor's office, but the entire town. Colony 6, they called it. An odd naming convention, if you asked Jin.
"It's fine. I don't think it's urgent, currently," Jin answers, sounding somewhat unsure of that.
The woman gets to her feet, ushering him to sit down so she can perform a physical exam. He notes how she touches his forehead when his mask is removed, and doesn't so much as blink in surprise, but he's quickly distracted by the rest of the exam: two fingers pressing to his neck for a pulse, a device to measure his ether levels — he's never seen that before — and other similar tests to ensure he was physically healthy according to his vitals. "Hm. You seem like a perfectly healthy Homs, friend. What happened to make you seek medical attention?" the woman asks.
Homs? "… My heart, it's been giving out. I'll have spells of persistent chest pain, followed by severe and sudden fatigue and weakness," Jin replies. "Typically I'll recover temporarily with an ether pod, but I don't have access to one. I'm… not from here," he explains, trying not to be too specific.
She tilts her head, concern clear on her features. "You have severe heart failure and ether heals you temporarily? Taking in high concentrations of ether regularly could cause that failure... What was your name?" the doctor asks.
"… Jin. The goal was prolonging my life, not curing me. You won't be able to help me?" he asks.
"Ah, nice to meet you. My name is Sharla," the woman greets, before rubbing her chin. "Well… I didn't say that. You're in perfect health, as far as I can tell. Other than... Well, the blasé comment about your lifespan was concerning, but I'll mind my own business, for now. That being said, I can only learn so much about your heart's health with the tools I have. Colony 6 is still in the early stages of development and reconstruction, so I don't have as many tools as I'd like to."
Jin's shoulders drop. That was… fine. Maybe he could find someone here to take Malos's Core Crystal, despite the lack of Blades. His chest aches again with that thought, but not as sharply. "Oh, don't look so disappointed. We'll find you help, Jin. I happen to have a friend in Colony 9 that is well versed in Homs biology, with a full body scan, to boot. And, push comes to shove, I have another friend with access to even more advanced tech than the Machina's. I'm leaving on a trip to Colony 9, too, if you want to come along with me to see her," Sharla offers. "And in the mean time, if you have another episode, I do have ether canisters that should work in place of an 'ether pod'. Besides, I'd like to keep an eye on you with a heart condition that severe."
Jin hesitates, but offers a nod. "Yes. It wouldn't be ideal for me to die now. I have unfinished business," he agrees. "I'll go with you to Colony 9, and stay nearby in the mean time." He has no idea what a 'Machina' is, and he's confused by their usage of 'Homs' for what seems to mean 'human' — especially in relation to himself — but Jin isn't going to argue about more time to ensure Malos is given to someone good. "When do you leave for Colony 9?"
"Unfinished business?" Sharla muses, clearly being more nosy than seriously inquiring. "I leave just before dinner. I'll make sure you have accommodations when we get there, and speak to Linada immediately, but there is no guarantee she'll be able to see you today. Is that alright?"
Jin decides her question is rhetorical, and deigns to answer it. "That's fine. I'll just rest when I arrive." Meals of his own would be an issue. He's certain they won't take the money he has, if he has any on his person, but he'd figure something out. Lora had skipped a couple meals in the past, and had been alright, so the same would likely go for him. "Thank you, Sharla," he adds.
The woman smiles. "Wow, you're more polite than most of my friends," she laughs, "Alright, up you go. I'll put you in the room next to my office, but if you start having any issues, please just yell." Sharla ushers him up and into the next room over, which was relatively plain and wholly unwelcoming: just a cot, sink, and a table with a couple of stools. Not the worst, for a medical room, but certainly not homely. Jin didn't really care, though some part of him did wish he was back home.
Sharla, fortunately, leaves the door cracked. Jin can imagine this room would feel like a prison cell, otherwise. She marks the room as occupied by a patient, before heading back to her office, leaving Jin to just lay down and think. As he steps past the sink with a mirror, Jin catches a glimpse of his own reflection and pauses. He looks like himself. That much he hadn't doubted, but the way Sharla touched his forehead came to mind. She hadn't even blinked at his Core Crystal, and no one else in town seemed to have one.
Curiosity overcomes him, and he steps closer to the mirror. One hand lifts to touch his forehead. His fingers brush over smooth skin, and his hand recoils. A split second later, he brushes his bangs upward to look at his forehead in full. There, in the mirror, was a Jin that was very human. No Core Crystal sat there, embedded into the center of his forehead. It was just skin; there wasn't so much as a bump on his skull.
The feeling that overcomes him is nearly crushing: nausea, grief, a disconnect from his own body. All at once, he wants to dig at his skin to find it, and yet he stands frozen instead. What happened? Where was he? The only thing he could think was that he had died, but this was elaborate for an afterlife, and not a reality he thinks he can handle.
Finally, he pulls his hand away from his face, and instead grips the edge of the sink. He feels like he's going to be sick, bile rising up in his throat until his eyes water. Jin grips the sink harder, body shaking as he tears his eyes away from the mirror to stare downward instead. For all he'd accepted that humans and Blades were meant to live in harmony with Rex's answer, Jin felt like he was going to collapse, knowing he was human.
He stands there for what must feel like hours, clutching the edge of that basin until he feels physically weak. Was this reincarnation? Why could he remember everything? Why was he cursed to remember? Eventually, Jin pulls away from the sink and forces himself to lay down, eyes squeezing shut. He prays sleep will take him, at least until he and Sharla leave for Colony 9.
Jin has darker bags under his eyes than usual when Sharla comes to fetch him. Sleep was not something he'd managed, nor were tears. The lack of catharsis was more exhausting than the failure to sleep, and Jin was just left thinking about his Core Crystal, the humans he'd had in his life, and about Mikhail. More than anything, he was left wondering if Lora's heart was even still with him. He does not share this with Sharla, because he has a suspicion that she would not take kindly to the idea of a human stealing another human's heart. Hell, they wouldn't take kindly to a Blade doing it, either.
And to Sharla's credit, she doesn't ask him. Instead, she just tells him to rest for the duration of the trip, and that she'd come back and get him before she left to do her own thing for the night. If she could get Linada to help him tonight, that would be ideal, but he'll just have to wait and see. Jin agrees, though he's not so sure he'll be able to sleep. If nothing else, resting his eyes was supposed to help conserve energy, wasn't it?
And so, he rests his eyes. Flying on this ship was not very much like the Monoceros or the Marsanes, but Mikhail had spent decades upon decades on those ships, making them run so quiet that they were virtually silent… for warships, at least. This wasn't a warship. Just a transport vessel, likely for the military, for crossing the Cloud Sea. Yet, being on this ship still makes him homesick. Trying to think of anything else, it occurs to Jin that they'd likely be on the same Titan for this separate Colony. A transport vessel would be quicker, but would it take them that long to reach Colony 9 otherwise? How big was Bionis?
Some part of him wonders if Rex's foolish dream of Elysium might just be this place, with more land than any of Alrest's Titans combined. Jin isn't sure he feels like he's 'made it', yet. For now, his heart just feels heavy, and his limbs feel like lead.
When he wakes up, Jin realizes that sleep must have taken him, anyway. Somehow, he's beginning to miss the dreams of Lora, even when it was her death that haunted him time and time again. He jumps when he realizes there's a hand shaking him awake, not quite used to being woken up from such a deep sleep, though Sharla removes her hand to give him space. "Hey, it's alright. It's morning, I'm afraid. You were sleeping so soundly, I didn't want to wake you for an exam," Sharla explains. Jin blinks at her, before scrubbing at his eyes.
"I… see," Jin answers, voice hoarse from his sleep. His joints feel stiff in ways he's not used to, but he pushes himself off the cot and gets to his feet, anyway. "This Linada. Did she agree to see me?" Jin asks.
"She did, yes," Sharla confirms. "Now, before I go and frighten you again, did you see the Machina around Colony 6? Taller than most Homs, and they look like they're made of metal?" she asks.
Jin's face scrunches slightly, but he nods. "… Yes, I have. This Linada, she's a… Machina?" Jin asks. Were they not just considered 'humans', or 'Homs', in this case?
"Yes. I know the Homs have fought the Mechon for generations, but the Machina are not our enemy. I don't want you to be confused." Sharla sounds like she's given this speech a hundred times before, but Jin has no idea what she's talking about. He chooses not to mention that fact.
"… Alright. I won't be." He's certainly confused, but not in the way Sharla meant. "Thank you. I haven't been around many people in quite some time." Not exactly a lie, but it gave him an excuse to react to all of these different people oddly. He's not been around any of these peoples in his entire life, after all.
Sharla nods. "Yes, you have seemed a little lost. Come on, walk with me to the Junks while we talk," she prompts, waving for him to follow her. "Did your family live on their own, away from any Homs Colony?" she asks.
"Yes," Jin answers, once again, not lying. "We… stayed removed from other people so that we could achieve our own goals in life. Being among other groups wouldn't have allowed that to happen."
"Oh? It's a miracle a family of Homs survived outside of the Colonies. Did you stay with the Nopon, or the High Entia?" Sharla asks. Jin shakes his head. "I see. Is there anyone but you left?"
Jin thinks for a moment on how to answer that. "No," he decides. He hopes it's not true, but a quick glance as they walk tells him there are no Blades in this Colony, either. He's beginning to lose hope that Malos will ever reawaken. Was it just a rock in his pocket? That chest pain starts up again. "My… children died, fighting for what we believed in," Jin elaborates after a moment, "I couldn't save two of them. The other sacrificed himself. And my partner…" he trails off.
Sharla listens, patient as Jin gathers the words to tell his story. A sad one, if she had to guess, though she isn't quite expecting to hear that he'd watched his children die, and presumably his partner, as well. When Jin trails off, Sharla puts a hand on his forearm. "It's alright. You don't have to share," Sharla promises. "I haven't lost children, but I almost lost my little brother, Juju. It was horrifying. If it weren't for friends I made, I would have lost him," she tells Jin, sharing her story so it's a more fair exchange. "And my fiancee…" Sharla sighs. "I thought I lost him, when Colony 6 was destroyed. I was so certain he was alive, though. And… I did reunite with him, too. In the end, he sacrificed himself so we could live," she explains, throat tight as she speaks.
Jin is quiet as he listens, though his jaw clenches as she continues to speak. Rex's answer gave him peace, but it hardly solved the suffering. That seemed ever-present, no matter where he went. "I'm sorry for your loss," he says, though her story makes his hope dwindle more. He could reawaken Malos, if his Core ever allowed someone to resonate again, but it would be condemning them both to a horrible fate. Even if Jin got to see him again, they would inevitably have to separate when he died. Without a Core Crystal, Jin would not be permitted eternity, even if they somehow cured his body breaking down. Reuniting, and then losing him again, felt like Jin's worst nightmare. He couldn't condemn Malos to that, even if he grieved for the rest of his own life.
The rest of the walk is silent, though relatively comfortable. At least, until they reach the dock where the Junks is set, and Jin is faced with sea that stretched on into the sky. Not clouds, but water. He freezes, staring out at it. Sharla gets a few steps past him before she notices, sees the look on his face, and smiles. "That was my reaction, too. It's so vast, isn't it?" Sharla asks, turning to look at the water, as well. "It's beautiful. When the Bionis was standing, we couldn't have reached the sea. But, the Fallen Arm gave us a glimpse, at least. The beaches are warm, and the water usually is, too. I wouldn't recommend just going for a dive, though," she laughs, shaking her head.
"… I've never seen anything like it," Jin confirms, though it was beyond an understatement. If his lack of Core Crystal didn't dispel the thoughts that he may still be in Alrest, this certainly did. This wasn't Alrest. If it was, this Titan stretched wider than any he'd ever heard exist. He had only ever seen the clouds stretch out into the horizon like this, and the idea that he was in an entirely different world shook him to his core.
Malos would never wake up.
Jin has learned to steel his expression over centuries, though he'd already been decent at it. That thought, however, must leave grief written plainly on his face, and when Sharla looks back at him, she seems to understand in an instant. "… You're thinking of your partner, right?" Sharla asks.
"… Yes," Jin answers, quiet. Finally, he pulls his gaze away. "We should move on. My appointment. My chest hurts," Jin says, his tone unsteady.
Sharla stares at him for a moment, and then her expression softens. "Jin, when your chest hurts, are you thinking of your loved ones, and of the future?" she asks, blunt, but certainly pointed. Jin blinks at her, brow tense. "It hurts us, here," she puts a hand over her own chest. "Like your entire chest tightening around your heart, and your lungs feel frozen in your chest. Your throat feels like you can't even get air through, and your head starts to feel fuzzy?" Sharla asks. He nods, after a moment.
Sharla nods. "I don't think your heart has been acting up, recently. I think you're grieving. I'm sorry, but there's not much we can do about that," the woman answers, shaking her head. "We'll still scan you, since you mentioned it was an issue you'd been having in the past. It would be irresponsible not to. But, after that, get plenty of rest. Eat well, make sure you drink water. It will become easier with time, even if it won't ever disappear completely. Promise me you will take care of yourself?"
Jin stares at her, not sure how to respond. He supposed it made sense, but did that mean Lora wasn't with him, here, either? His chest hurts more. "… I promise," Jin finally answers. She seems satisfied with that for now, and she turns to lead him onboard the ship, and up into the med bay. Unsurprisingly, there is a Machina there, tapping on orange holographic screens when she hears their footsteps against the metal ground and turns to face them.
"Good morning. Sharla told me you slept well last night," the Machina greets, "I'm Linada. You're Jin, yes?"
"… Yes. It's... nice to meet you," Jin greets.
"You as well. If you could lay on the table, I can get started," Linada says, motioning to the table. While Jin lays down, she and Sharla set up the screens, as well as some machinery, to get to work.
Jin tries not to close his eyes. If he does, the cool room and metal table feel too much like an ether pod. The idea of opening his eyes and not being back home, right now, was unbearable. The room is silent as they work. Jin notes they've probably worked together many times before, at this point; hey don't need instruction from one another. Finally, the machinery is moved away, and Linada works on pulling up the results on the bigger screen.
And then, suddenly, "Oh." Jin turns his head to look, though he can't see her screen, and he has no idea what any of the new screen means. They had a different alphabet, he notes, but doesn't linger on that thought. "Sharla…" Linada says, sounding very uncertain. "Is this normal?" Jin isn't sure what they're seeing. If his heart wasn't failing, it couldn't be Lora's heart. If it was, then at least he wouldn't linger in this world long.
Sharla stares at the screen, and she looks equal parts disturbed and intrigued. Finally, she speaks up. "That isn't his heart. I've never heard of any Homs doing a heart transplant," Sharla echoes.
Linada shakes her head. "No. Even Fiora's body was risky. Her new body could have rejected what was left of her old one," Linada confirms.
"And that was under perfectly sterile conditions. Jin, you said you and your family lived outside of any settlements?" Sharla asks, turning to face him. "Do you have any idea how this could have happened?"
Jin sits up, clearly not sure what to say. He was grappling with the idea that Lora was still by his side. "… No," he lies, shaking his head. "Will I… live?" Jin decides to change the topic instead.
"… Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, you seem otherwise perfectly healthy, Jin," Linada confirms, moving through the scan of his body, before pausing at the view of Malos's core. "Hm," Linada utters, "This scan shouldn't pick up on any material like this. And… that shape…" she murmurs.
Sharla looks back to the screen. "Isn't that the shape of his pendant?" she asks Linada. "I've just seen him last night, though. He left with Shulk for Alcamoth."
"Yes, I'm certain of that. Jin, may we see what that item is?" Linada asks. Jin seems visibly hesitant. "We won't take it from you. Not even to hold. We'd just like to—"
"You mentioned someone with a pendant with this shape. Who?" Jin asks, reluctantly taking Malos's core out of his pocket. With another moment of hesitation, he holds it out to show the two of them. It's still dark, Jin notes, but it's urgent that he knows who this other Aegis is.
"Alvis. He was once the Imperial Seer for the Antiqua family in Alcamoth. Royals," Sharla answers, glancing down at the Core in Jin's hands. "But, it turns out, he's the Monado. And, more importantly, the administrator of this world," Sharla explains. She opens her mouth to continue, but Jin cuts her off.
"Where is he? I need to talk to him, urgently," Jin insists, closing his fist around the Core Crystal and getting back to his feet.
Sharla holds both hands up in shock. "Alright, relax. Alvis and Shulk just went to Alcamoth to speak with Empress Melia. It's unlikely you'll be able to reach them, even if you can reach Alcamoth, today. The farthest you'll get is Gran Dell. But, they do live here, in Colony 9, and will be back in the next few days."
"The next few days? That's not good enough," Jin insists. Sharla shakes her head.
"I'm afraid I can't take you, myself, and neither can any of the people Melia will accept as guests with ease," Sharla answers, "I have things to do, here and in Colony 6, as do the rest of us."
Linada speaks up, after a moment, "I can send a message to Melia urgently, and explain the situation. She will pass it on to Alvis, I'm sure. Otherwise, there isn't much we can do."
Jin doesn't seem placated by that, but demanding isn't getting him anywhere, even if he feels restless. He had no idea where anything is, either, so he can't just go and march to Alcamoth, himself. Stealing a ship would do him no good, either. "In the meantime, I'm certain that Dunban and Fiora will have an extra bed, Jin. They're friends of Shulk and Alvis, like I am, and they'll keep you busy so your mind isn't lingering on this. Is that acceptable?" Sharla asks him, clearly concerned.
"… No. But I don't have much of a choice, otherwise," Jin answers honestly, and Sharla nods.
"Very right. Come on, then. Linada will study your scan, in the meantime. She'll make sure to find anything that we missed in the first glance," Sharla promises, beckoning for him to follow her back outside.