Archive of Our Own

This was not what he’d been expecting.

This was absolutely not what he’d thought was going to happen after all these months of making new friends. In fact, it was the complete opposite of what he’d expected, and while he was sure he could talk himself out of this whole debacle, his brain had kind of short-circuited to the point where he had absolutely no idea how to respond. 

“It’ll be fun, I promise! You and your little guy will love it.” 

Stiles Stilinski let out an awkward laugh at those words, hoping against hope that he had a smile on his face that looked at least somewhat normal, and not manic. 

Because he felt a little manic right now. There was a miniature devil version of himself sitting on his left shoulder laughing so hard it was beginning to cough and wheeze. The angel on his other shoulder just had its face buried in their hands, clearly uninterested in being a part of this in any regard. 

“Six, okay? See you then!” Mieka from his Advanced Statistics class beamed at him while she headed for the door, one hand up in farewell before she disappeared from sight. 

Stiles had raised his own hand automatically to bid her goodbye, and then left it there long after she’d disappeared from sight. 

There was no way this was actually happening to him right now. Like, this was crazy, there was no way! 

He jumped when his phone went off and hastily pulled it from his pocket with the hand he still had raised, realizing he looked like an idiot. Throttling the embarrassment that threatened to take over, he flipped his phone around to check the message on the home screen, and then hastily shoved it back into his pocket. 

Getting to his feet, he began packing away his things, hurrying to get everything into his messenger bag before throwing the strap over one shoulder and rushing down the steps of the lecture hall. He had to dodge to one side when someone in as much of a hurry as him barrelled into the classroom—he probably didn’t want to be late—but years of lacrosse saved them from a collision. 

Once he was outside, he hurried towards the lot for his ride, and it took him no time to catch sight of the cruiser idling in one of the parking spots. Rushing over to it, he threw open the passenger side door and fell into the seat. 

“You know that’s bad for the environment, right?” 

“You know it’s not a good idea to look a gift horse in the mouth, right?” his dad retorted, giving him a look as he shifted out of park and backed up out of the spot. “I was here less than two minutes.” 

“Every second counts when it comes to the environment,” Stiles countered. 

“I thought it was worse for the environment when you stopped and restarted the car?” the sheriff said, but he sounded more thoughtful than annoyed by the unintentional semi-argument. 

“Nah, they did a study, apparently ten seconds of idling is worse for the environment than stopping and restarting the car. At least, the study I read claimed that.” Was it true? He didn’t know. He hadn’t gotten to the bottom of that one because some Supernatural bullshit had interrupted him and he hadn’t gotten back around to re-falling into that rabbit hole. 

Alas, it had been over two years ago, so he doubted he’d ever end up in that one again. 

“How was class?” his dad asked as they made it onto the main road so they could head back to Beacon Hills. 

It occurred to him he hadn’t thanked his dad for coming to get him, considering the man was working in less than an hour, and had detoured twenty minutes to grab him from campus. Stiles’ Jeep was in the shop and set to be picked up when he got back, and anyone else he could ask was either in class or working.

Normally, he’d have immediately corrected that misstep, and thanked his dad profusely for being the greatest dad of all time—even though that would’ve made him suspicious Stiles was up to something, which he was not!—but instead, he blurted out the absolute tragedy of his evening. 

“Mieka wants me to bring my dog to the dog park,” he blurted out. 

His dad turned to him briefly, giving him a weird look. “You don’t have a dog.” 

“I know that, dad!” 

“Why does she think you have a dog?” 

Stiles buried his face in both hands and whined, sliding down in his seat and lamenting his entire life. “Because I talk about my so-called ‘dogs’ all the time.”

It only took his dad a few seconds to clue in, because the man was smart. He was sheriff, after all, he hadn’t gotten voted in on his good looks alone. 

“You talk to her about the Pack.” 

“I didn’t know she’d think they were dogs!” Stiles insisted, dismayed, hands falling from his face so he could turn his anguished look towards his dad. “Now I don’t even know if she thinks Derek is my boyfriend or my fucking pet!” 

“Isn’t he both?” 

Stiles made a revolted sound at that retort, his dad looking quite pleased with himself for being so quick with his comeback. 

“Dad!”

“I was young once too, Stiles. I don’t judge. What you and Derek get up to in your—”

“Dad!”

The fucker looked so amused. Stiles wanted to fucking die! 

“You’re not helping,” Stiles informed him, resisting the urge to pout. Or scowl. Pout-scowl. He failed and ended up doing both, crossing his arms. 

“Why didn’t you just tell her you didn’t have dogs?” 

A perfectly reasonable question, to be fair, but Stiles just sighed and said, “After I realized what happened, it occurred to me that if she’d mistaken my stories about the Pack as dogs, I didn’t want her to put two and two together if she was one of the bad guys. Like, a Hunter who doesn’t follow the code, or some kind of Supernatural creature that likes to drink the blood of Werewolves or whatever.” He waved his own words away. “So I kind of just—went along with it. I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal, because she and I don’t hang out outside of class, but she just got a new puppy and there’s a big dog park just outside town, so she kind of caught me off-guard. I didn’t know how to say no, she looked so excited.” 

His dad just hummed in response to that. Like the unhelpful helper he was. 

Where was Stiles going to get a fucking dog last minute? 

“Do you think Scott would let me borrow one of the dogs at work for an afternoon?” 

“No,” his dad said immediately, turning to give him a look. “That’s called dognapping, and you’d never have the same dog twice.” 

“She already thinks I have like, eight dogs,” Stiles muttered, slouching further in his seat. “She probably wouldn’t notice.” 

“You’re not taking someone else’s dog, Stiles.” 

“Well, what am I supposed to do?! Go buy one?!” Telling her the truth would be cheaper, but more dangerous. He truly didn’t know what the outcome of that conversation would be, and he’d much rather fork out however much a dog was than risk the lives of his Packmates because he was too stupid to make it clear he was talking about people! 

To be fair, he might have gotten a bit too comfortable with Mieka because she’d grown up on a farm. Whenever she spoke about her horses rubbing up against her, or the cows bumping her in the arm with their heads, or the multitude of cats and dogs she had running around causing messes, Stiles would just loudly proclaim he knew how she felt. 

Derek was intolerable sometimes with how often he scented him, and Isaac was still scared of thunder and fireworks even though Stiles had tried his best to show him they wouldn’t hurt him. Scott was clumsy and ran goofily, especially when he was chasing after Kira, who was herself very limber and quick on her feet. Erica and Malia play-fought constantly and Stiles had been forced to reprimand them five times so far this month because they kept breaking things in the loft when they got too rough with each other. Boyd was the best because he just found a comfortable spot to sit in the sunlight and would doze basking in its glow and oh my God, his Packmates were absolutely fucking dogs. 

Well, yes, they were Werewolves, so kind of, but now that he thought about it, he could understand why Mieka thought he owned a bunch of dogs. 

Shit. 

Now he was really wondering what she thought his relationship with Derek was, because he knew he’d mentioned his boyfriend Derek to her many times, and he sure as fuck hoped she didn’t assume he was into beastiality with his dog. Derek was a Werewolf, not an actual animal! They were not the same thing!

He really needed to set her straight, he didn’t want to be known as that weirdo from uni who was fucking his dog.

To be fair, Derek was the one doing the fucking most of the—not the point!

“Why don’t you just ask Derek?”

Stiles’ brain derailed momentarily at the thought that his dad was a mind-reader and listening to his mental breakdown over his classmate thinking his dog was his boyfriend, but then the words sank in and he realized he had no idea what the man was saying. 

“What?” he asked, turning to look at him. 

His dad just shrugged one shoulder as he turned a corner, shoulder-checking like the good example he was. “You said you talk about Derek all the time, so just bring him.” 

Stiles stared at him. “Are you okay?” 

“What do you mean?” The sheriff turned to give him a weird look before facing forward again. “It makes sense. Just bring Derek along, and tell her you got him before your boyfriend and they happen to have the same name.”

Was he having a stroke? “Dad, how is bringing my six-foot-two muscled as fuck boyfriend to the dog park going to help me with my predicament?” 

Now it was his dad’s turn to look at him like he was crazy. “Because someone who graduated second in his class should be smart enough to figure out I mean the Werewolf part of his boyfriend and not the human part.” 

Stiles opened his mouth to ask what he was talking about when the words froze in his throat and he slowly closed his mouth back up. 

Derek could full shift. He didn’t do it often, not for any particular reason other than he didn’t feel the need to, but he could do it at will. Derek could totally turn into a wolf, and Stiles could absolutely pass him off as a dog! 

“That—is genius,” Stiles said, eyes shifting back and forth quickly as he thought. 

His dad was right. He could ask Derek to shift and come with him, and pass him off as his dog. And he was totally right about the name, too! Mieka was definitely smart enough to have put together that Stiles had a boyfriend called Derek, so she probably figured he just also had a dog with the same name. 

If he claimed he’d gotten the dog first—not inaccurate, since he’d met Derek long before he became his boyfriend—and then happened to start dating a guy with the same name, it would explain why he sometimes said things about his boyfriend Derek, and sometimes said things about his totally-a-dog-and-not-the-same-person Derek. 

“Dad, you’re a genius!” Stiles proclaimed, turning to him as the man eased to a stop at the curb by the garage. 

“The idea’s the easy part,” his dad insisted, giving him a look. “You still have to convince Derek to go along with it.” 

“Oh, that’s easy.” Stiles waved one hand dismissively. “I can just—you know what, I’ll discuss it with him and not you.” 

“Probably for the best.” The sheriff patted his shoulder, clearly able to tell where Stiles’ brain had gone with how red his face got. 

He’d been about to explain, in detail, what his plans were to get Derek to agree to this. And all those details involved something sexual that he definitely did not need to be sharing with his father. 

“Well, good luck.” His dad motioned him out of the car. “Let me know how it goes.” 

“Either it’ll work and you’ll see me for dinner tomorrow, or you’ll find my mangled body on the side of the road somewhere.” Stiles sighed as he climbed out of the car with his messenger bag over one shoulder. Before he could close his door, his dad called out to him and he paused. 

“Son, I hate to break it to you, but if Derek ever decided to kill you, there wouldn’t be enough of you left to find.” 

“That’s morbid,” he informed his dad, who just shrugged. He wasn’t wrong, so Stiles didn’t see fit to correct him. He just thanked him for the ride and followed through on shutting the door. 

Stiles headed up the long drive towards the entrance of the garage as his dad drove off to head to work. When he stepped into the small waiting room, he was greeted like an old friend by the older man behind the counter. 

Considering Stiles was single-handedly keeping the whole place in business, he always got exuberant greetings when he walked in—though realistically, he knew it was just because all the guys knew who he was after coming by so often. 

He paid for the repairs, trying his best not to react at the price, but gave a grateful smile when the guy lowered his voice to say he’d thrown in a deep clean on the house. Stiles appreciated it, and went to take a seat when the guy said they’d be another ten minutes. 

Pulling his phone out, Stiles checked a few of his messages, replying to the ones that warranted replies and ignoring the others—No, Jackson, your botched haircut does not constitute an emergency. When he was mostly caught up, he went to his location sharing app and tapped on Derek’s name, wanting to see where he was. 

He seemed to be done work for the day, because it pulled up his name at the loft, which was good. His schedule was kind of all over the place ever since he’d started apprenticing with a welder, so Stiles was never sure when he was home or not. Thank God he was, because he very badly needed himself a dog. 

Glancing up when his name was called, he stood and went to grab his keys, thanking the guy profusely once more before moving into the main part of the garage. Normally the mechanics drove the cars out and parked them along the long drive for people to leave with, but Stiles had been going there for so many years they’d started just letting him drive it right out of the garage itself. 

Waving a greeting to a few of the other mechanics, he nodded a thanks to the guy who’d worked on his Jeep and climbed in. He didn’t waste their time inspecting the interior, even though it looked nice, and just started it up before driving it slowly off the lift and out of the garage. Once he was on the drive, he sped up a little bit to get to the road and then turned when the traffic cleared enough for him to do so. 

He made a beeline for the loft, eyes on the time when he noticed it was nearing five. The dog park was twenty-five minutes away, and he was sure Derek would want food before they left, so he basically had to get to him right now. 

Stiles was glad his phone hadn’t lied to him and Derek was, indeed, home. To be fair, it wouldn’t have been his phone lying to him so much as Derek forgetting his own at home. He did that sometimes, and then spent the day silently panicking in his very grumpy Derek way because what if something happened? But, today, he either hadn’t forgotten his phone, or he had but was home anyway because the Camaro was parked by the door where it always was when he was inside. 

Stopping beside the sleek car, Stiles threw his messenger bag from the passenger seat into the back to make sure the spot beside him was clear. Once that was done, he climbed out of the Jeep and slammed the door, flipping his keys in his right hand as he made his way to the front door. It was locked, but he expected that, so he just unlocked it with his set of keys and then headed inside. 

Climbing the steps to the loft, he didn’t hear anything from above him, but that didn’t really mean much. Derek was quiet in general, but even more so when he was alone, because the nerd spent most of his time reading. 

Then again, Stiles couldn’t complain, because most of the time when he was studying, Derek was pressed into his side reading, and it somehow made it easier to concentrate on what he was doing. 

Pulling open the loft door, his eyes searched for his boyfriend, and found him sitting at the small table by the window, a mug of coffee steaming in front of him, and an empty plate pushed a bit away from him. Clearly he’d had a snack since getting home, perfect. If he was fed, he’d be in a good mood. 

“Hey,” Derek said, and when Stiles’ eyes found his face, he just about hit his knees. 

Derek was not a trusting person. He was guarded, and stoic, and had Resting Bitch Face. People called him rude, and standoffish, and just generally grumpy because that was the air he gave off. 

But with Stiles, it was like he forgot about all the tragedies he’d endured in his life, because he smiled so warmly at him that it made Stiles want to melt into a puddle on the floor. He loved this man so much, he didn’t know how he’d managed to trick him into dating him, but no take-backsies! Derek was his forever. 

“Hi,” Stiles managed to get out, stepping forward so he could close the loft door behind himself. 

“How was class?”

Shrugging, he moved forward into the loft until he’d reached the table, leaning down so he could kiss Derek in greeting. The kiss lingered, Derek’s hand coming up to cup his cheek, but Stiles didn’t mind. He’d never get tired of kissing him. 

When they finally pulled apart, Stiles asked, “How was work?” 

“Good,” Derek admitted, letting his hand drop and motioning for Stiles to sit across from him. “Got to do some actual solo welding today, so that was different. Andrew says I’m a quick study.” 

“It’s because you’re a nerd and read too many books,” Stiles teased, taking the offered spot across from him. 

“I like the job. It’s very focussed. I feel... calm. When I’m working.” 

Stiles felt his heart melt in his chest and couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. Derek deserved so many good things in his life after everything he’d been through. The fact that he’d found a job he was good at and that he enjoyed was amazing news. Being able to turn everything off for a while was also pretty great for someone like him, who spent a lot of time drowning in his own guilt over things that weren’t even his fault. 

“That’s awesome. I’m really glad.” 

Derek offered him a small smile, and closed the book he’d been reading. He set it aside, then reached for his mug of coffee, taking a sip before speaking again. “I was thinking maybe we could go out for dinner tonight. It’s been a long day, and we haven’t had a date night in a while.” 

His boyfriend the sap. Stiles loved him so much. 

And normally, he’d jump on that, because hell yeah date night! But alas... 

“Actually, I was thinking maybe we could do something else.” Stiles pressed his lips together and raised both eyebrows, trying for innocent and missing by a country mile. 

“We can do that after dinner, Stiles,” was Derek’s unimpressed response. 

“What?” Stiles blinked at him, then realized Derek thought he meant sex. “Oh, no. I mean, yes! Of course, always, absolutely. But no. I mean like, actually something else first.” 

And now Derek looked suspicious. Which was just—rude. So rude. Stiles was the very picture of innocence! How could he possibly think Stiles was up to something?! 

“Like what?” Derek asked. 

“Well,” Stiles said, dragging the word out while stretching his arms forward on the table until he could close his hands around both of Derek’s. “My friend Mieka and I have been bonding over the past few months, and she just got a puppy, and she thought it might be fun for the two of us to bring our dogs to the dog park right outside town.”

Derek stared at him exceptionally hard. “You don’t have a dog.” 

“I—why are you and dad the same?” Stiles let Derek’s hands go to throw both arms in the air. “Yes, Derek, I am aware I don’t have a dog!” 

“So what exactly is this conversation leading to?” Derek asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking thoroughly unimpressed. 

Stiles licked his lips before pressing them together, trying to think of the best way to word this before blurting out, “In my defence, it was entirely dad’s idea! I wanted to steal a dog from the clinic!” 

That earned him an even less impressed look. “Stiles.” 

“It was an accident!” Stiles insisted. “I talk about the Pack all the time, and I kind of didn’t realize that I was comparing things you guys do to things her animals did because like, Werewolves, you know? And before I knew it she thought I had a whole pack of dogs, and she wanted to hang out today, and I got worried she might be, you know, evil, and I didn’t want her coming after the Pack! So I just let her believe I had a bunch of dogs which, to be fair, I kind of do, you guys are all part of the canine family, so it’s a totally legit leap to compare you guys to dogs. And I didn’t know what to do when she asked me to bring my dog to the park at six, so I kind of just sat there while she talked, and then she left, and dad says I can’t dognap a dog from the clinic, so then he thought may—”

Stiles shut up instantly when Derek’s hand pressed against him mouth, cutting off the rest of his sentence. 

“To be clear, she thinks Derek is your dog?” Derek asked. 

“Was that the only thing you got out of that whole spiel?” Stiles demanded, voice muffled behind Derek’s hand. When his boyfriend just raised both eyebrows, Stiles rolled his eyes and said, “Considering the conversations we’ve had, I’m hoping she thinks I have a dog and a boyfriend both named Derek.” That earned him another unimpressed look and Stiles shrugged. “What? I got the dog first, obviously.” 

He waited, but when Derek said nothing, Stiles reached up with both hands and tugged at Derek’s wrist until he lowered it, freeing his mouth. “I have to go, and I need a dog.” 

“I’m not a dog,” Derek reminded him. 

“Okay, but like, you can look like one,” he countered. “A massive, fluffy dog! Come on, Derek! The Pack’s safety is at risk!” 

“You just want to force me to play fetch,” Derek accused, picking his book back up.

Stiles snatched it out of his hand, and pointed his index finger at him. “As amusing as that would be, I promise not to make you play fetch. You don’t even have to do anything, you can just come with me, lie down in the grass, and snooze while her puppy goes bonkers.” 

“Her puppy will be scared of me,” Derek reminded him, flashing his eyes pointedly. 

“Even better! Means we won’t have to stay long.” Stiles dropped the book on the table so he could press his hands together. “Please! I don’t want her to think I’m a jerk for standing her up, I need friends in all my classes for when Pack bullshit makes me have to skip! I need the notes! And, and, again, not my idea! It was dad’s! I didn’t mean for her to think the people I was talking about were dogs, it was an accident!” He paused, a thought occurring to him. “Wow, she must think I’m just a huge loser with no friends if she thinks all of you are dogs.” 

Derek snorted, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. “What’s in it for me?” 

“Whatever you want,” Stiles promised quickly. 

The slow, almost evil smirk that started to tug at Derek’s lips made him a little worried about what was coming next. “Whatever I want?” 

“Yes.” Was he going to regret this? Probably, but at least he’d be having wild sex. 

Derek’s eyes shunted to the side briefly as he thought, and then he nodded once and looked back at Stiles. “Fine. You do laundry and the dishes for a month.” 

“Wha—! Laundry?!” he demanded incredulously. 

“And the dishes.” 

“I thought you were going to demand sexual favours!” 

Now Derek just looked pitying. “Why would I use up a perfectly good carte blanche on something I can get from you for free, Stiles? You seem to think I have a hard time getting what I want from you sexually, but usually once you’re naked, your brain shoots out of your dick and I could get you to sign over your soul to me if I wanted to.”

Stiles’ face fell. “Wait, I haven’t signed over my soul, have I?!” 

Derek rolled his eyes. “No, Stiles. You haven’t signed over your soul. But I could make you just by sucking your dick enough, is my point. So, you want my help, you do the chores.” 

Stiles hated laundry! It was almost worse than dishes! That wasn’t fair, he didn’t want to be stuck doing that shit, even though he acknowledged that Derek had been doing it the whole time they’d been dating without complaint. 

But it was different! This was Derek’s loft, and he’d been living alone for a long time before Stiles had moved in. He was already doing his own laundry and dishes! 

Stiles felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out quickly before realizing it was a text. Mieka’s name was on his home screen, and when he clicked into her message, he saw it was an address, presumably to the dog park. 

A glance at the time made him wince, and he looked back up at Derek, who seemed so fucking smug, the bastard. 

“Two weeks.” 

“A month.” 

“Three weeks.” 

“A month.” 

“This is not how negotiations work,” Stiles informed him. 

“This isn’t a negotiation,” Derek said pleasantly. “It’s a take it or leave it one-time offer.” 

Stiles scowled at him for a long while, then looked down at his phone again before muttering under his breath and sending Mieka a thumbs up. 

“You’re the worst.” 

Derek, unrepentant asshole that he was, just smiled at Stiles before uncrossing his arms and getting to his feet. Stiles watched him walk away, heading for the spiral stairs that led up to the second level where their bedroom was. 

He knew Derek was going to shift in private, which he appreciated, and was pretty sure was for his benefit to begin with. The first time he’d witnessed Derek turn into an actual wolf, he’d been so distressed at the sounds of snapping bones and ripping muscles that he’d had a panic attack. Derek had been forced to shift back—thus causing more panic—just to hold him so he could calm him down. 

Derek promised it didn’t hurt, that his healing accelerated even more than usual when he went full shift and that he felt nothing but discomfort at things shifting around, but it had still taken a long time for Stiles to calm down. He was more used to it now, especially since Derek never made sounds of pain or distress, but he was still glad when his boyfriend shifted out of sight. 

It didn’t take long for a sleek black wolf to come down the stairs, body moving like water as it rounded the tight bends of the spiral staircase before padding over to Stiles. He sat down beside him, tilting his head in a very dog-like way, and Stiles smiled before reaching out to pet him. 

Derek gave him a look for that, but allowed it. Stiles laughed slightly, because even as a wolf, he could hear Derek’s annoyed, “I’m not a dog.” 

“I don’t know if I should be worried about someone trying to steal you or not,” Stiles admitted. “You’re a fucking gorgeous animal, but you’re also the size of a pony, so they might be scared you’d bite their whole arm off if they went near you.” 

Derek’s response to that was to bare his teeth and Stiles rolled his eyes at that show of bravado. 

“Yes, yes. I’ll make sure no one bothers you. Mieka might want to pet you though, so you’ll have to play nice.” 

He got a huff in response for that and just smiled again, then got to his feet. Clapping his hands once, he looked around to make sure he had everything, and then started for the door. He stopped halfway there to backtrack and began looking around for Derek’s phone, figuring he should bring it with him in case anyone needed him. 

Finding it on the microwave in the kitchen—he’d probably put it there while making his snack and forgotten about it—he moved to the loft door once more and threw it open. Motioning Derek out, he shut it behind him and then followed him down the stairs. 

Derek moved incredibly fast in this form, which he supposed made sense, since most animals on four legs were fast. Still, it was weird to see him moving so fast considering how fast he already was in his Beta shift. 

Or in general, really, though Stiles was pretty sure he thought that because he himself was out of shape. 

Derek waited beside the door while Stiles locked up, and then trotted over to the Jeep. Stiles couldn’t help sighing at the realization that it had just gotten cleaned and he was about to have a massive, fluffy wolf in it. Oh well, it had been nice while it lasted. 

He had to get the door for Derek, and the whole car rocked violently when he jumped in. Derek really was massive, but to be fair, he was a Werewolf, not an actual animal. He was kind of worried Mieka might be scared of him but there wasn’t anything he could do about that.

Shutting the door, he moved around to the other side, climbed in, and shut his own door. He had them on the road within seconds, driving back out of town towards the dog park Mieka was meeting him at. Looking at the time on his dash, he figured he’d get there just in time, which was nice. 

Hadn’t gotten the chance to eat though, but at least Derek had had a snack, or else Stiles would’ve felt bad. 

Stiles spent the drive telling Derek about his day, almost startled every time he glanced over at him, because he kept forgetting he was a wolf. Even as a human, Derek didn’t talk much, so it wasn’t really that different being in the car with wolf-Derek as opposed to human-Derek. 

Man, now Stiles felt like he talked too much and should probably make an effort to let Derek talk more. Then again, when Stiles was quiet for too long, Derek seemed to get uncomfortable. That was probably why they worked so well. Derek liked to listen, and Stiles liked to talk. 

Smiling to himself, mostly because he was thinking about how much he loved Derek, he started to reach out for his hand before remembering he was a wolf, and switching to rubbing at his head instead. 

Derek bit down on his hand in retaliation. Not hard, but enough to tug at it insistently in a clear, “Don’t do that!” sort of way. 

“But you’re so soft,” Stiles insisted, reaching for him a second time. He had to watch the road more than Derek, so he just got his hand chomped again, Derek keeping it hostage this time, as if not trusting Stiles to stop trying. 

He was right, of course, but it was annoying he knew him so well. 

They spent the last five minutes to the dog park playing tug of war with Stiles’ hand, and he only succeeded in getting it back when he told Derek he was acting like a dog fighting its owner for a toy. Derek resolutely turned to look out the window then and Stiles laughed. 

There weren’t a lot of cars parked in the lot, but he recognized Mieka’s navy hatchback and parked beside it. Craning his neck, he could see her already in the fenced off park with the tiniest little thing he’d ever seen in her arms. The dog was so small, it was barely even a dog. 

“Oh my God,” Stiles said loudly, because the thing was adorable, and he kicked open his door to hop out. Slamming it behind himself, he started to head for the fence before a loud ‘boof!’ from behind him reminded him that—right. Derek didn’t have opposable thumbs right now. 

“Shit,” he turned back to the Jeep and hurried to Derek’s door, pulling it open. “Sorry, sorry.” 

His boyfriend glared at him as he hopped out of the car, biting at his left ankle as he passed in clear displeasure. Stiles just apologized again and waited for Derek to move out of the way before slamming the door. Making sure the Jeep was locked—something he’d forgotten to do at the sight of Mieka’s tiny thing—he turned and headed for the gate to enter the park. It looked to have two separate doors, with a small gap in the middle. 

Stiles assumed it was to make sure someone opening the gate wouldn’t let a dog out. This was safer, because it gave some security if a dog got through the first set of doors. They wouldn’t be out on the street until the second set opened. 

“Ready?” Stiles asked him. 

Derek let out a huff, his tail wagging once in displeasure, but Stiles just smiled and opened the first gate. Derek pushed through the gap before Stiles had even finished opening it, and could only assume Derek wanted to get this over with. 

Once the gate was firmly shut behind him, Stiles opened the second one and followed Derek into the large park, shutting the second gate as well. 

Mieka turned then, clearly having been keeping an eye out for him, and he raised one hand in a wave as Derek walked along beside him. 

His friend’s mouth dropped open before she hurried towards him, her tiny dog still in her arms. 

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed, stopped a few feet away from Derek. “Oh my God, your dog is beautiful!” 

Stiles saw Derek straighten slightly, clearly pleased at the compliment. 

“He’s all right,” Stiles said, and ignored the dirty look he got from Derek for that. It was hard fighting back a grin. “Your dog is super cute, what breed?” 

“He’s a Shih Tzu,” she said, rocking him slightly like a baby. 

Stiles could already tell the dog was not happy about having a Werewolf so close to him, so he held both hands out in silent question. Mieka handed him over and Stiles took a few steps back from Derek, holding the dog against his chest. 

It was shaking, but Stiles just kept petting him, resisting the urge to go into baby-talk mode because it was so fucking cute! And so tiny! 

When Mieka motioned Derek hesitantly, Stiles nodded. “Yeah, he’s super friendly.” 

She beamed at him and bent down slightly, running both hands along the sides of Derek’s head. “Hey. Hi there. You’re beautiful. And you’re so big, look at you!” She scratched behind Derek’s right ear, other hand running along his neck. She turned to Stiles then, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “You forgot his collar.” 

Stiles looked at Derek, who was staring right back at him. The look in his eyes said he would bite his entire face off, and Stiles resisted the urge to laugh. He could just imagine trying to get a collar on Derek, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t survive. 

“He’s not big on collars, so if I can get away with not putting one on him, I avoid it as much as I can.” 

“I don’t think they’re strict here,” Mieka said, still petting Derek. She was watching her hand move along his fur, a smile on her face. “Who’s this one?” 

Stiles had to try really hard not to laugh. “That one is Derek.” 

“Aw, hi Derek.” Mieka turned back to him, squishing his face between her hands. “Oh, you’re so pretty, no wonder you’re the one he brought out. Had to show me up with such a gorgeous boy, yes he did.” 

Mieka shifting into baby-talk was making Stiles feel less bad about wanting to do it himself, but he also wondered how mortified she’d be if she ever found out Derek was a person. 

“What breed is he?” she asked, petting along Derek’s neck again. 

“He uh, is... a mutt. Um, he’s got some uh, wolf in him, but we’re not sure about the rest.” 

“Well, he’s beautiful,” she said, for like, the millionth time. 

This was totally going to Derek’s head. 

“Your little guy is super cute too, what’s his name?” 

“Broccoli.” 

Stiles was glad Derek managed to pass off his laugh as a sneeze, Mieka turning back to him quickly and saying, “Aw, bless you!” 

“Wait, your dog’s name is Broccoli?”

Mieka sighed as she stood up properly, but she kept one hand buried in Derek’s fur. “Yeah. My sister named him. I lost a bet.” She shrugged in a ‘what can you do?’ sort of way. “Though you’re not one to talk. When you call out to Derek, who shows up, your dog or your boyfriend?” She grinned at him and waggled her eyebrows. 

Stiles laughed, and figured since Derek couldn’t talk back right now, he could afford to have a bit of fun. “My dog is always eager for head scratches, so if I call out, he’s usually the one who shows up first. It’s why I love him so much.” 

Derek was not impressed with this comment, because it made Mieka bend down to pet him even more. Stiles was absolutely going to pay for that later, but oh, it would be worth it. 

“What did your boyfriend say when he found out your dog had the same name?” she asked, Stiles staring down at the trembling puppy in his arms and gently running his index finger along his forehead down to his nose. 

“Nothing, he just sighed. My boyfriend is pretty good about rolling with the punches.”

“Honestly, sometimes when you talk about him, I have to really pay attention to figure out if you’re talking about him, or your dog.” 

“Eh, they’re basically the same to me,” Stiles insisted, grinning at Derek. 

He did not look impressed. 

Mieka gave him a few more pats on the head before moving over to get her own dog back from Stiles. He handed Broccoli over—trying hard not to laugh at the name—and watched her set him down. The poor thing just tore off across the grass, probably just as much to get away from Derek as just to run around. 

Small dogs were weird that way, or so he’d heard. 

“Derek not gonna run around?” Mieka asked as she pulled open the tote bag she’d brought with her. “I have a ball, if he wants to play.” 

Oh how Stiles would love to make Derek play fetch, but he’d promised him he wouldn’t, and he didn’t want to jeopardize his sex life. 

“Nah, he had a long day, he’s probably tired.” Stiles looked around himself to make sure there was no dog shit and then eased onto his butt in the grass. Derek came over to him immediately, turning to smack him in the face with his tail before repositioning and plopping his considerable bulk right in Stiles’ lap. 

Stiles almost fell over backwards but managed to catch himself. Derek just turned to look at him, completely unrepentant, and got comfortable in Stiles’ lap, lying down in a ball. Stiles refused to believe he was comfortable like that, it was more likely Derek was just being a little shit as payback. 

“He loves you,” Mieka said fondly, Stiles looking over at her. She was sitting beside him, smiling at Derek as she reached out to pat his head. Derek flicked one ear, but didn’t react otherwise. 

“You think?” Stiles asked curiously, looking down at Derek. “Why do you say that? Seems more like he wants to crush me.” 

“No, you’re his people,” she insisted, hand burying in Derek’s fur. “He’s jealous you gave another dog your attention.” She paused, then laughed. “Actually, he might also be jealous you’re giving me attention. He must be a pain around your boyfriend, hogging you all to himself.” 

“Nah, they get along great.” Stiles reached out to lightly tug at one of Derek’s ears. He didn’t react other than to huff, but kept himself curled up into a ball. 

“So is Derek your favourite?” she asked, nudging him lightly. “The dog, I mean. Not the boyfriend.” 

“Why do you ask?” 

“He’s the one you brought out here. I figured he had to be the favourite.” 

“He’s the most well-behaved,” Stiles offered, still tugging gently at Derek’s closest ear. Not tugging, exactly, but just using his fingers to pinch the ear between them and running them up to the tip before starting over. His ears were soft. “But—yeah. I’d say he’s my favourite. I don’t know what I’d do without him.” 

Derek shifted then, and Stiles saw one eye staring up at him. He smiled, reaching down to tug lightly at Derek’s fur by his neck, but said nothing else. 

He turned to Mieka then, the two of them chatting as Derek snoozed in his lap like an overly large pillow, and Mieka kept an eye on her little guy who’d found a friend of similar size to play with. Every time Mieka laughed a bit too hard at something Stiles said, or she reached out to slap lightly at Stiles’ arm or push his shoulder, he could feel Derek shifting further and further on his lap, eventually ending up half off Stiles in the space between him and Mieka. 

Like a silent barrier telling her to back off. 

Mieka seemed to notice, but she just looked amused. 

“I can tell your dog and your boyfriend have a good relationship, because I feel like he thinks I’m encroaching on your boyfriend’s territory.” 

“Nah, he thinks you’re encroaching on his,” Stiles amended, pulling once at Derek’s tail. “Because he’s an idiot. Right, Derek?” 

That earned him a very slow head raise, Derek turning to stare at him, his butt still in Stiles’ lap. He seemed to consider something for a few seconds, Stiles frowning, and then Derek stood up. He stretched, shook himself out like an actual dog, and then turned to face Stiles. 

With absolutely zero warning, he leaned forward and swiped a large, broad tongue right across Stiles’ face. 

“Wha—Derek! Dude, what the fuck!” He insisted, trying to shove Derek off, but the moron just pushed harder against him and licked again, his tongue scratchy against his cheek as he licked from his chin up to his fucking eye. Stiles closed it before he lost it to the stupid idiot’s razor tongue. 

Mieka, the traitor, just laughed as Derek pushed harder into Stiles and started trying to give him a fucking saliva bath. If he were a real dog, Stiles could’ve shoved him off him, but Derek was obviously enjoying the only means of payback he had right now and continued to lave his tongue across every inch of Stiles’ face. 

“Get off me! Dude, I’m serious, what the hell!” 

“He’s a dog, Stiles,” Mieka insisted, still laughing like the traitor she was. “And I was right, he loves you.” 

Stiles sputtered indignantly as Derek gave his left cheek one final, hard swipe before backing off. He licked his chops as Stiles sat up properly and made a sound of disgust, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and using it to wipe off his face. 

He was fine with Derek’s saliva when it was in his mouth while they were kissing! This was just gross. 

Glaring at his boyfriend while he continued to wipe the wetness from his face, Derek just bared his teeth in a lightning fast grin, then turned away and tore off across the park. 

“And there he goes,” Mieka said, cheering and clapping as Derek bolted away from them. “Man, look at him go!” 

A couple at the other end of the park hastily picked up their dog and moved away when Derek got closer, but he just turned at the last minute before hitting the far fence and started running back towards them. 

What an absolute fucking menace. 

Then again, he had to wonder if Derek had just gotten the zoomies, because that would be hilarious. Could Werewolves get the zoomies? He wasn’t sure, but he liked to think that was what was happening right now. 

“Oh, gotta go be a dog mom,” Mieka said, quickly getting to her feet and moving towards her dog and its new friend. They seemed to be roughhousing, but the other dog was still a bit bigger—and likely older—than Broccoli, so he figured she was going to break it up before he got hurt. 

Stiles watched her hurry over to the pair up until Derek was only a few feet away from him. He turned to watch him approach, and was honestly worried he wouldn’t be able to stop but Derek managed to slam on the brakes before he slammed into Stiles. 

He panted loudly—and wetly—in Stiles’ face, seeming pleased with his short run. Stiles just scowled at him. 

“What happened to, ‘I’m not a dog, Stiles’? Huh? What happened to that?” 

He reached out to tweak Derek’s ear once, and Derek retaliated by opening his mouth, and chomping down on half of Stiles’ head. 

At this point, Stiles just gave up, sighing as he let Derek gnaw on his skin, more wolf slobber dripping from Derek’s jowls. 

“This is totally payback for not agreeing that you’re pretty, isn’t it?” Stiles asked dryly, but Derek didn’t reply. He just kept gnawing at Stiles’ face, twisting his head this way and that, as if wanting to see how much of his head he could fit in his mouth. 

Stiles looked up when he heard laughter, and saw Mieka standing in front of him holding her dog, laughing at his predicament. She even had the audacity to have her phone out, obviously taking a picture of him and Derek trying to eat his face. 

“I think Broccoli’s ready to go,” she admitted, leaning down to kiss the top of her dog’s head as she shoved her phone into her pocket with her free hand. 

“I wish Derek was ready to go, but he seems pretty damn content right now,” Stiles said dryly. 

Derek started to shift away from him, but only enough that he wasn’t eating Stiles’ head anymore. He went back to licking at his face, mostly focussing on his cheek. Stiles winced but just let it happen. Derek was going to be a dick no matter what, so it was easier to just let him have his way. 

“He’s so great, I love him,” Mieka said, reaching out to pet along Derek’s spine, even as he continued to try and sandpaper Stiles’ cheek off with his tongue. 

“You can have him, I don’t want him anymore,” Stiles said dryly. 

That earned him a bite to the cheek, and a huff, but Derek obediently backed off and stretched. Stiles placed one hand in the middle of his back and used him to help get to his feet. Derek ignored him and acted like he didn’t care he’d just done that. 

Mieka was smiling again, and she shifted Broccoli in her arms before making sure she had everything, her tote bag over one shoulder. Stiles brushed off the back of his pants, and motioned for Derek to follow before heading for the exit. 

“This was fun,” Mieka said. “It was nice having time to actually chat, and I think our boys had a good time.” She kissed her dog’s head again, and Stiles buried his hand in the fur at the back of Derek’s neck. 

“Yeah, it was nice.” 

“You should bring your boyfriend next time! I’d love to meet him.” 

“Oh. Uh—he’s kind of uh, you know, dogged out. What with all our uh, the dogs. You know, that we have. I don’t think a dog park would be his thing.” 

“That’s too bad,” Mieka said, opening the first gate out of the park and making sure it was firmly shut behind them before opening the second one. “Maybe we could do coffee or something then.” 

“Sure, coffee sounds great. I’ll find out when he’s free and we can set something up.” 

“Sounds good.” She beamed at him, the two of them stopping at the front of Stiles’ Jeep. “Thanks for coming out. And thanks for bringing Derek, he’s lovely.” 

She reached down with her free hand, the other holding Broccoli tightly against herself, and scratched behind Derek’s ear. 

“Thanks for inviting me.” 

Mieka smiled at him, then waved her free hand while moving towards her car. “See you in class on Friday.”

“See you.” Stiles raised one hand in farewell, watching her get into the car. He waited until she was buckled in and ready to go before turning away and moving to open the passenger side door. Derek leapt into the car, the whole thing rocking, and turned to face him. “I should just leave you here.” 

How was it possible he could tell Derek looked smug? He was a fucking wolf right now, how was he managing that? 

Sighing, Stiles slammed the door and moved around to the other side. By the time he climbed into the Jeep, he jumped a mile high when a hand reached out to grab his face, yanking it closer before very human teeth bit at his cheek. 

“What the fuck, Derek! We’re in public!” Stiles flailed for his door handle, yanking it shut urgently, as if that would stop anyone from seeing that Derek had gone from being a “dog” to a man. 

“No one was looking,” Derek insisted, completely unconcerned as he bit down again, taking Stiles’ cheek between his teeth. 

“You’re the worst, by the way.” 

“You love me.” 

“Nope. I don’t. Absolutely not.” 

Stiles pulled out of the lot, and did his best to ignore that Derek’s very human hand was resting against the inside of his thigh. 

It wasn’t the first time jealous Derek got extremely horny once the perceived ‘threat’ had left, but Stiles slapped his hand away. 

“No, I just got the Jeep cleaned.” 

Derek obediently took his hand back, but he shifted his teeth from Stiles’ cheek to his throat, sucking a hickey into his pulse as Stiles tried to elbow him off him. 

“Do you want us to die?” 

“If you’re so worried, pull over.” 

“No!” 

The hand was back, but it was going for his jeans. 

“Derek, I just got the Jeep cleaned!” 

He was never, ever bringing Derek to the dog park again. 

END.