Work Text:
September 1817
After an extended honeymoon post their wedding in March, Benedict and Sophie were back in London. They had set up an apartment near Bridgerton house and planned to stay in town until the end of the season.
Sophie Bridgerton loved balls and Benedict Bridgerton didn't mind them either. Especially now that he was married and debutantes or their mamas won't bother him. Instead, he appreciated discussions on art, his plans to set up a gallery soon and host an exhibition.
After his first finished painting, he picked up some of his old ones and attempted to finish them as well. Being in the countryside for almost six months at once allowed him to enjoy more nature, peace and quiet. The ambience along with Sophie's words of appreciation led him to finish a bunch of his old sketches. He was more confident in his art and was prepared to pursue it for a living.
Sophie was excited as well. It was her third ball and the first where she had no worries. The masquerade and queen's ball were some of the best nights of her life, but she would be lying if she said she was not anxious for most part of those evenings.
Tonight was different. Tonight she would enjoy the ball as any other lady of the ton with the man she loved by her side.
***
“Benedict, if you shall leave my hand, may I go speak to Violet and Eloise?” Sophie asked, quite bored of Benedict's conversation with Lord Taylor about his barley business.
Benedict nodded, reluctantly removing his hand from her waist. He was bored as well but it didn't seem proper to stop mid conversation.
Sophie joined Violet and Eloise at a corner of the room. Her circle was not as big as the Bridgertons. Quite an irony considering she was one herself, but it was only her third ball and she did not feel comfortable with anyone that was not a Bridgerton or a Mondrich. It didn't help that the queen who had declared her a possible diamond still scared her and Lady Danbury was not here.
Alice joined them soon asking Sophie about the honeymoon and if she was enjoying the ball.
Sophie's words on the honeymoon were few and on the ball were half truths.
“I don't see more of your kids, Lady Bridgerton,” Alice pointed out, “I know the Duchess has three young children and multiple affairs to take care of and the dowager countess is still in mourning but I was certainly expecting to see the Viscount and Mr. Colin Bridgerton with their wives.”
“It is happy news. My eldest daughter in law Kate just gave birth to another beautiful boy, Miles, and Penelope is also expecting her second child anytime soon. The new parents are busy.”
Seeing the joy in Violet's face made Sophie conscious. She had been married for six months. They had a quiet and intimate honeymoon free of people including any servants. They were both very passionate people yet she was not with child.
There was a time she was afraid of being with child. They were not yet married. She prayed too hard to get her courses last November. Perhaps God had listened to her too well that week for not only he blessed her union with Benedict, he also refused to listen to her prayers of not getting her courses for the last six months.
She looked at Benedict across the room seeking comfort. He was now talking to a lady. He was smiling. His smile made her smile.
“Is that Lady Tilley?” Alice asked, “I haven't seen her since Colin and Penelope's engagement party two and half years back.”
“Is she close?” Sophie asked.
“Not really. Just a friend Benedict brought along,” Alice replied.
Sophie's smile turned upside down. She looked at them again. This time Benedict's eyes met hers. He looked very happy. She did not know how to feel. He had been honest about his past relationships. It was so dumb feeling bad about them.
Alice said friend, not partner. Sophie reminded herself. But who was she kidding? She knew well enough.
***
Benedict was stuck in the most boring conversation about barley with Lord Taylor. He missed Sophie in his arms though he was glad at least one of them was enjoying the ball.
“Is that Benedict Bridgerton?” came a lady's voice.
The two men turned to find the widow Lady Tiley. Benedict smiled, a little awkwardly recalling their last conversation.
Lady Tiley was an enigma indeed. She convinced Lord Taylor to move elsewhere as soon as she walked in.
“I thought Benedict Bridgerton was not ready to settle down” she said, “and yet the new Lady Whistledown describes you a devout to your wife.”
She looked at Sophie, “Very beautiful indeed.”
“Both in her looks and her heart,” he replied proudly.
“I can tell. Even the biggest of rakes settled for the prettiest of the ton.”
Benedict only smiled knowing Sophie was not of the ton, but that was a secret.
“I did not take you for traditional men, Benedict” she said.
He looked at her quizzically.
She continued, “Passing your youth behind all sorts of women and men and settling down with a virgin at the end.”
Benedict pursed his lips. He did not appreciate the way she talked about his wife.
“Leave my wife out of this, please. I apologize if I hurt you two years back” he replied. His apology was as sincere as his warning.
“You mistake me. I am not critiquing your wife. I am merely observing how easily you moved on from an older widow only to be faithful to a younger virgin,” Tiley said.
“Now you mistake me, Lady Tiley. I was merely not ready. I did not know if I could commit myself to anything. I did not wish to form a deeper attachment and be unfaithful later,” he replied, “With Sophie, I deliberated. I knew I wanted to be by her side as long as I live. With or without a union, I was ready to commit to her.”
He continued, “You are one of the most intelligent people I have ever met, but Sophie … Sophie is the most intriguing person I know. We have been married for six months, known each for more than a year and she still surprised me this morning.”
Benedict's eyes met Sophie's across the room. His smile broadened. She looked away. He stared thinking. Was she upset?
“Calling her a simple young lady or a virgin, is merely limiting her many qualities. She is funny, gentle, kind and insightful. She made me see our world in an entirely different light. You do not know my wife, so please refrain from speaking about her that way. I always wish to remember you as a good former friend” Benedict made it clear.
Lady Tiley, obviously upset, did not chat for long. He did not mind. He wished to be beside Sophie and ask whatever was bothering her.
***
Sophie was unusually quiet in the ride back home. As she prepared to sleep, Benedict was growing more worried.
“Did you enjoy the ball tonight?” He asked.
“I did” she lied.
“That makes one of us,” he said, “Lord Taylor bored me with his barleys most of the evening.”
“Were you bored?” She asked, “I thought you really enjoyed the beautiful lady's company tonight.”
She was so hurt, so bothered by him not being able to tell she was lying. She could read him like a book. It was sad even a year later he couldn't do the same.
Benedict squeezed his forehead. “Lady Tiley? She was nice, but certainly not enough to make me forget the barley business. I missed you in my arms tonight.”
“You could have asked me to dance,” she reminded him.
“I wanted to. I apologize I got so caught up in the conversations, it completely escaped me” he replied.
“Good conversations with good people,” she had more sympathy for herself than bitterness towards Benedict.
“None as good as you,” he assured her.
“I doubt it. They must be so good that you did not even look at me all evening,” Sophie tried hard to not cry.
“That is simply not true. Perhaps not as much as I usually would because you were with my mother and sister whom I trust, but I still looked at you enough.”
“Not enough to know I was bothered,” she accused.
Benedict walked near her. When they were face to face, he wrapped his arms around her.
“Did someone say something?” He asked, trying to recall who else he saw talking to Sophie. It was his mother, Eloise and Alice, three women he knew he could trust Sophie with.
“No… I am misplacing my frustrations. … I think I just took it too personally that I am not yet with child while your married sisters …”
“Did mother say something about it?” He interrupted her. He knew his mother would never but Sophie was his priority.
“No, she is lovely. She will never say, but I am afraid she might think the same,” Sophie replied.
Benedict sighed, “I assure you she is not thinking any of this. You don't need to worry. We don't even have an obligation to produce an heir. Whenever the time is right, I am sure we will have a lovely family.”
Sophie leaned against his chest. He adjusted his arms on her waist pulling her closer.
“Do not worry about any of this” he said.
“I looked at you for comfort,” she said, “you were talking to that lady.”
Benedict lifted her chin with his index. Her sad eyes broke his heart
“You could have come to me”
“You seemed to be enjoying that conversation”
“Quite the opposite.”
“Who was she?”
“A friend.”
“A friend you took to your brother's engagement party?”
Benedict pursed his lips realizing Sophie's state of heart. He did not like seeing her jealous. It was different when she was insecure of other young ladies around him before they got married. She owned him, she knew it and yet she worried herself.
“It does not matter. I am married. To you,” he replied softly.
“I know” she whispered, “but…”
Benedict placed a sweet lingering kiss on her palm. She closed her eyes like always trying to feel the moment.
“I already assured you before we got married. I have been with women and men in the past and that is it. They are in the past. My feelings for you are greater than anything I have felt before. I also promised that I will be bound to you in every way that counts. I have no plans on going back on my words. Only if you would trust me.” He looked a little hurt. He was still being very gentle. Like he always was when it came to her.
“I apologize” she sobbed.
Benedict shook his head before dropping a kiss on her forehead.
“I love you. Nothing changes that. You do not need to concern yourself with anything in my past. My present and future are only you. It will only ever be you,” he promised.
Sophie hid herself in his chest. He was so kind and she loved him so much. It was once impossible to think she would someday find a love such as this. Yet here she was. In his arms. Safe and secure.
“I still apologize. I was worried we were not having children. Then I saw you with her, and she was so tall, pretty and stylish, I lost my good judgment,” she confessed.
He smiled cupping her face, “I like you short and petite in my arms. You are very pretty and even if you weren't, she can have pretty. I will have your beautiful heart.”
“I love you,” she said.
“Love you too,” he replied.
He leaned in. Her lips met his for a sweet kiss.
THE END