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I watch him from the back of the classroom as he focuses on the lesson that Ms Chisa is working on. It's something about his eyes that make me feel like I want to melt into the ground! The air from the open window is blowing into my hair, which makes it more difficult for me to focus. My hair starts to blow into my face and into my eyes. Just as I push all the hair out of my face, I see that he's raising his hand to answer a question. He was always so smart and talented, I don't understand how I could even be friends with him.
"x2+5x+6" Fuyuhiko firmly answers.
"That's right, so let's look at the perfect square quadratics now."
'Crap, I really need to focus a bit more...'
I've been doing pretty bad in a few of my classes but only because Fuyuhiko's in them. I can't take my eyes off him when he's around, and I know I should focus more but he's just amazing! One time, he was just stretching and his shirt raised a bit and I could see his abs. I didn't even know he had them! I guess it's the strength that comes with being a yakuza.
A familiar ringing flooded the classroom. As the bell rang, everyone started packing all their stuff quickly so that they could go home. I stuffed everything into my bag quickly, struggled to zip up everything successfully, and rushed to Fuyuhiko. He was still at his desk packing when he looked up at me and grinned. "You're coming to Ibuki's party, right?" Whenever he smiled, his nose always scrunched up slightly. It always made him look cuter.
"Hell yeah! She told me to bring all the drinks I found from my old man's liquor cabinet!" I chuckled. Fuyuhiko got up from his seat and walked across towards me. "You're kidding. She told me to grab all the booze I had!" We laughed as we walked out into the hallways. We continued to walk at the same pace while laughing and bumping shoulders every now and then. I felt this sort of feeling in my heart the entire time that made me want to yell from excitement. Like when you find a new engine to work on!
I constantly looked over at him with this stupid smile that made me feel so jittery and bashful. One time he looked into my eyes in such a way where he wasn't even just my best friend anymore. He was a whole new person. He was someone who I could share all of my fears and my desires to. He wasn't the scary and cursing yakuza I knew. He was someone That I now adored so much, and I won't ever lose him.
"Alright, I gotta go this way. See you at the party Kaz'." Fuyuhiko waved slowly as he turned to walk the over way. I almost felt upset to see him go away, but I knew that I'd see him again at the party. Even if he doesn't come, I'll be able to deal with it. I can do it...
Huh...?
What's he doing...?
Why's he laughing with her?
...What's going on...?
From a distant, I saw him laughing and chatting with Peko Pekoyama. He's carrying her bag and everything. What the hell is going on?! Is this some joke?! He was just laughing with me though, he can't do this! Why... why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why?????
"Kazuichi, are you ok dude?" I turned to my side and Hajime was there. He seemed really concerned about me. (Was it that obvious that I was breaking inside?) "Uhm, yea dude. Wassup?" I played off the past incident. Hajime turned to where I was facing and the cogs in his head quickly began to turn. "They've been really close since the beginning of the year, but they never spoke during class. It's like they're keeping a secret from everyone." I turned to face them while they were laughing with each other again, just to make sure that what I was feeling was real.
"It's almost like he cares so much. He can't focus on anyone other than her." Hajime added.
I started to pinch myself to feel any other pain than the heartbreak I was feeling. "So... They're dating, aren't they?" I faced towards Hajime again, trying to keep myself from crying. I think he noticed because his response was quick. "Well, maybe they're childhood friends or they could've been studying together." I suddenly realized something. "Hajime, you said that he can't focus on any other person right? Then I just have to get him to notice me again! Thanks dude!" I ran home so I could get ready for Ibuki's party. "I'm not sure that's the takeaway you should get from this!" He yelled at me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sky has grown dark as I walk through the lonely streets. I hold a huge cooler in my hand filled to the brim with drinks from my dad's liquor cabinet. I wore something that didn't make me look as oily as before. I was sweating bullets while preparing everything I would do and say to him as I find him. Maybe I would just confess and leave immediately after, or maybe I could turn around before I even arrived at the place entirely! But each step I took felt heavier, and I had already set my mind on this.
As I turn the corner on the street, I didn't even need to use the location that Ibuki sent to know exactly which house was hers. She had huge string lights that were wrapped around her entire house. There was also a huge amount of games like beer pong and water fights using beer that were happening outside of the house. Before I stepped foot in her house, I grabbed a bottle from the cooler and took a huge swag to prepare.
Before I entered the building, I heard a loud voice from above. "Souda! Are those the drinks you're bringing? Yes! Ibuki is very impressed by what you've done!" I look up to find Ibuki balancing on the tiles of the roof of the 3 story building. "AHH! Ibuki, what are you doing?!" I shouted from below. "Whaaat? Ibuki can't hear you!" She gestured towards her ears. "Kidding! Ibuki has perfect hearing! I'm giving everyone a warm welcome!"
I walked away with a look of confusion on my face, and fear lurking. There was no way she wouldn't fall from the roof at least once. Once I walked in, I scanned the place for Fuyuhiko to see if he was here yet. I found a huge table with drinks and red-solo cups with almost a ginormous crowd surrounding it. I went and placed the cooler down onto the table, but immediately was terrified by the amount of people who swarmed around it within the matter of seconds. It was like zombies devouring brains! But suddenly, I heard the door opening.
From behind the door, I saw Fuyuhiko coming in with Peko, and they were just chatting with each other. He had this brown striped vest on that made him look so fancy and cool, I felt so out of place wearing my regular outfit. "That's why my father was cool with me bringing drinks." Fuyuhiko was practically bragging to her. This is not cool! He can't be bragging to her, this means he's into her! If he was speaking to a nobody like Mahiru, I'd understand, but Peko's hot! I can't compete with that! I needed to do something, and I needed to do something fast.
Once I saw Fuyuhiko walking with her to the living room, I rushed to them. "Fuyuhiko, you made it!" I pushed between the two of them and hugged him tight. "Kaz, are you drunk right now?" He chuckled slightly, and it felt like he was in my head because he said it so close to my ear. "Uh... yea! I'm hammered right now." I was clearly not hammered, but if I told him that I was, then he wouldn't suspect anything if I was acting weird.
Peko stepped slightly back from us and started to speak. "You're with us in class. Kazuichi Souda, right?" She stared sharply into my eyes that I thought she was gonna kill me. I held my breathe and gulped. "Yea. I'm the ultimate mechanic, so I can do a lot of stuff that others can't. For example, I have great muscle memory!" I tried to brag loudly so that he would think I'm cool. "That's nice. I've earned several Guinness world records for creating different techniques for my sword such as 'The Dragon's Demise'."
"Pssht! That's super easy" I hollered at her just to make her feel scared of me. However, she just stared at me with one eyebrow raised. "I didn't expect you to hear about it. I'm glad to know that my techniques are known by a diverse community." I started to stammer for a second. "W-Well actually-" "Actually Kazuichi, would you like to demonstrate how to use this technique?" She held out her sword towards me while maintaining a look on her face that I knew meant that I was done for. I looked over at Fuyuhiko who looked like he was stifling a laugh. "Go ahead, it won't bite."
I swiflty grabbed the sword, and slowly unsheathed it. The sword was long and it felt heavier than what I expected. I stared at the pair who were watching to see what I'd do. I thought to myself out loud 'This should be easy, it's just throwing a sword around.' Fuyuhiko's eyes stayed on me the entire time while I thought of what to do that it made me question why I chose to do this in the first place. But the smug look on Peko's face made me more determined to do this.
As I lifted the sword, I knew I couldn't make a fool of myself (Especially when he was watching so closely>-< )! I don't even know what I was doing, I was just waving the thing around and trying to look cooler than she could. With each swing, I told myself I just had to keep this up long enough so that she wouldn't say anything. Eventually, I started to have fun with it while I just played around with the sword. I swung upwards, used the sword like a tennis racket at some point, and even tried fencing with it.
I kind of got so distracted that I lost control of the sword when I saw Fuyuhiko smiling and laughing at me. That damn smile! It felt so special to me that I made him feel happy, and that I was able to make him laugh like that. Suddenly, I lost my grip on the sword, and my smile faded. The sword sliced through my shoe and into my foot, and I screamed like a little girl while grabbing my foot tightly. "My foot! Dammit!" I yelled out in pain.
I tripped over myself and landed on my butt while screaming in pain. Peko came down to check on me, but then the stupid idiot named Fuyuhiko kept LAUGHING AT ME! "Why'd you jump like a cartoon character?! I just can't!" He was hunched over with his hand on his stomach while gasping for air. He was laughing so much that even Peko had to speak up. "Fuyuhiko, this is no laughing matter." "Oh shut up, this is hilarious!" His response came quick, like he knew what she was going to say.
"Shut up Fuyu, I'll kill you!" I tried to fight back, but it felt pointless. "Kazuichi, it should be fine but I'll find Mikan and she can help you." Peko ran off looking for Mikan without even thinking twice. Once Mikan came, she bandaged me up and tried to discipline me. "N-Now Souda, what you did was very irresponsible! If you do that again, you might cut your entire foot off!" Her timid and unsure voice just annoyed me. "Yeah yeah I get it. I'm gonna head to the bathroom. I'll be fine.." I winced slightly as I stood up, but I knew I had failed at my mission.
Once I finished up in the bathroom, I noticed Ibuki running to me at full speed with a phone in her mouth. "Kazuichiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Ibuki has a surprise for you!" Her voice was mumbled stightly because of the phone. She came practically jumping around me with her phone still in her mouth. "Quick question, why are you eating your phone? Those pieces of metal don't taste that good, trust me." I scratched the back of my head knowing fully well I had strong enough teeth to bite a phone. "There's a video I need you to see, you'll be so happy you'll thank me for the rest of your life!" She shoved her phone right in my face while telling me to take it over and over again.
"Fine fine! What's this all about anyways?" I snatched the phone from her and played the video. The first thing I saw was Fuyuhiko sitting in a circle with a group of people. Ibuki must have been in that circle because I heard her voice loud and clear coming from the video. "Alright, hmmmmmmm. Fuyuhiko! Kiss, marry, kill, Nekomaru, Peko, and Kazuichi!" My eyes grew bigger while hearing the circle start murmuring about his response. Fuyuhiko looked down at the ground while saying everything slowly.
"Uhm... No offense to Nekomaru, but I'd have to kill him." The camera pans over to Nekomaru and his shockingly taunt body (Seriously, what's this guy's workout routine?!?). "I understand Fuyuhiko, but what about the rest?" Nekomaru questioned. I turned up the volume so that I wouldn't miss anything that he said. Fuyuhiko started fidgeting slightly with his eyes looking anywhere but at the camera. "Well... I guess I'd say kiss Souda and marry Peko?" I could see Ibuki practically dancing from the corner of my eyes.
"See? Doesn't that fill your little heart with joy? You better mention my name in your vows!" She yelled. I wanted to feel happy, but something just feel right. I mean, he wants to marry Peko! Why not me? Ugh, I'll never let myself relax this way! "Ibuki, walk with me to the drink table." Ibuki nodded energetically. "Yessir!" Once we went to the table, I started grabbing anything I could see and poured each drink as a separate shot.
"Woah, go easy there Kaz', what's gotten into you?" Ibuki drank one of the shots that I had prepared and groaned shortly after drinking it. "Bitter, not the best." I took a shot and smashed the cup down. "Be honest with me, is this a long shot, or is he into me?" My tone stayed serious and my face felt desperate. "These drinks are good, where'd your dad get these?" I sighed. "Ibuki answer the question. Is he into Peko?"
Ibuki started thinking out loud, not even paying attention to me. "Well, there was one time after school where I found them talking behind an alley. But they seemed really serious so I don't think anything was happening." No! This couldn't be happening. Why would he be into her? I needed to do something that would make him into me. Anything at all. Anything that would make me seem attractive to him, or maybe seem like a savant! Wait... I know exactly who to ask!
I looked around aimlessly just to find the duo sitting on the stairs while talking about the occult and horror. "Sonia, Gundham, I need your help!" They both looked up at me surprised that I would speak with them. "Uhm, now's not a good time Souda." Sonia tried to tell me, but I couldn't care less. I sat in the gap between them and started to share my issues. These two have had a relationship for the longest time and I needed some advice from them. It might be a bit awkward because I had a crush on Sonia, but nevertheless, they could help!
"Seriously, what does she have that I don't?" "Her ultimate shows clear significance and maturity while yours shows to be a prime example of the working class?" "Shut up Gundham, I wasn't asking you!". Peko wasn't even that cool, even with her ultimate. But something still confused me. She chose to help me when I sliced myself, so she couldn't be annoyed at me. Why would she help me? Was there something that I didn't know?
"Kazuichi, I think what Gundham is trying to say is that Peko has a lot of qualities that make her enjoyable to Fuyuhiko. Maybe she makes him laugh or maybe they have a similar interest in something! This might have nothing to do with you entirely." When Sonia made this quote, something clicked in my head. "You're right. I need to do something that sets me apart from Peko. He needs to notice who I really am! Thanks guys!" I stood up proud and with a plan to get him to notice me. "Actually, I don't know if you took the right lesson from this!"
As I ran from them, I just kept asking myself 'Is this worth it? Will he notice me this way?'. I wasn't going to let this happen any longer! Through every hallway I passed, I needed to find Ibuki urgently. Each corner I took felt like I was wasting my time. But then I found her dancing with everyone to the song "Human Nature" by Michael Jackson. I started to call for her and try to get her attention. "Ibuki! I need to ask you something!"
Once she finally looked my way, she waved at me happily. "Hey Kazuichi, where'd you go?" Her voice spoke over all the music. My head was reeling as I struggled to find the words. "How'd you get on the roof? Did you have to climb somehow?" I tried to sound natural while asking this question but it made no effort. "Oh no, there's a skylight in the attic that Ibuki used to get on top! Wait.. why do YOU want to know about this?" She raised her eyebrows while inching closer to me. "I have an idea!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There I was sitting on the roof with a cardboard box, pouring oil on the roof tiles of the 3-story house. I have no idea how Ibuki managed to balance on these tiles, but I'll figure it out eventually. I can't believe I was drunk enough to do something like this! Ibuki came up from the skylight and smacked on the tiles to get my attention. "Yo, are you ready??" I felt the cold air breeze through my face, giving me goosebumps all across my arm. "Uh, yea! I just need Fuyuhiko to notice me, can you tell him to go outside to watch me? Make it sound like I wasn't thinking about him!" Ibuki gave me a thumbs-up and started her descent from the skylight.
I took a deep breathe in, balanced myself on the chimney beside me and stood up slowly on the roof. My hair kept getting in my face, but I knew that one wrong move could kill me. I raised the cardboard box and started waving it around so that everyone would pay attention to me. "Hey everyone! I'm gonna slide down this oily roof and see what happens!" I saw every single person down below look up confused, and then start howling and cheering at me to do it. I looked around at the crowd to see if he had shown up yet, but there was nothing. I almost lost my balance, but I quickly sat back down so that I wouldn't fall.
'I can do this, this is nothing, he'll notice how brave I am, how much better I am then her.' While taking baby steps, I placed the carboard box down, placed both my feet inside and laid it sideways on the oily ramp in front of me. I grabbed the helmet from inside the box and before I could even place it on, I felt someone grab my arm forcefully. I didn't even need to turn around to know it was the person I'd been waiting for this entire time. It was him.
"You idiot! What the hell are you doing?! It might've been funny when you sliced your foot, but this is on a whole new level you dumbass!" Fuyuhiko kept berating me and telling me off, but I just stayed silent. He cared enough to come up here and try to talk me out of it. I could see his entire body out on the roof, trying to balance with me while he grabbed my wrist. I was so drunk, I wasn't even listening to anything he said. I just laughed at his face. "Heh, I've finally got your attention on me, right? That's all I ever wanted." I saw his face soften in real-time as he just stared at me with his mouth half-open. His grip on me was less tight and I could tell he was processing this info.
Suddenly, Ibuki showed up behind us from the skylight. "3, 2, 1, GO!" Before I could react, she pushed me and watched as I slid down the ramp. I sat up straight once I was pushed and managed to fit myself into the box before my descent. I couldn't help but turn around to see what was happening, and I saw Fuyuhiko try to reach out to me as I was falling down. It was the look on his face that made me realize that I made a huge mistake. He looked like he was losing me, and I didn't know what to do. Once I reached the bottom of the ramp, the box started to flip on the drain pipe, and I started to fall upside down. The box left from under me and I started to fall down. I told myself 'This is it, I've killed myself so that he would notice me.'
I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't see what was coming next, but it felt strange. My head started to feel nauseous while my arms just hung. I wasn't falling anymore, I was floating. I raised my head to see Fuyuhiko holding onto my leg from the edge of the roof. He was clearly struggling to hold me because of the oil, but he has clinging to me as tight as possible. "What are you doing?" I shouted at him. "You need to let go or else you'll also get hurt!" He faced me with tears in his eyes and curses at me. "If you think I'm gonna let you go, you're fucking wrong! I'm pissed at you, but I'm not gonna let you die like this!"
He suddenly slipped off of the roof and held onto the drain pipe for his dear life. His grip on my leg shifted to his grip on my ankle. "I'm sorry I put us in this situation, I was jealous and I fucked up big time! I wanted you to think I was cooler than Peko!" My head felt dizzier than ever, and I knew we had to do something immediately. "Kaz' do you see that window on your left?" Fuyuhiko spoke up. I turned to my left and saw nothing but bricks. "Your other left!" I turned the other way and saw a small but opened window. I started to try and reach it while making sure I wouldn't fall.
"I can't reach it!" "Ok, I'll start to swing you and tell me if you can... Mioda what are you doing?" His voice seemed terrified at the sight of her. I turned my head to see her hitting Fuyuhiko's fingers with her knuckles. "Ibuki, what are you doing? Pull us up!!" I tried hollering at her to pull us up but she kept hitting him. "My parents are arriving in 30 minutes! You guys need to go now!"
She targeted each of his fingers one at a time until his grip on the drain pipe was gone. We both started falling down 3-stories and fell flat on the alcohol-drained grass. My back felt shattered from the fall, and when I looked at Fuyuhiko, his arm looked destroyed. "Ugh... I regret this." Those were the only words I could let out from my mouth. We heard bystanders calling for Mikan as we lay on the ground. "I hate Mikan. She always finds any opportunity to strip." Fuyuhiko groaned at hearing her name. "I hate her too, but she's just so wimpy" "Yeah that's another reason." Before I knew it, we were laughing again.
This wasn't how things were supposed to happen. We were meant to stay close with each other without all this jealousy, but when I saw her, I just flipped. She was making him laugh so much more than I ever did, and that's what hit me the most. I wanted to be his favorite person, the one who he could go to when things got bad, but he had someone like that already. I wish I didn't feel this way, but I don't know what I could do. Now he's got a broken arm and a reason to hate me.
Once Mikan fixed us up and Ibuki kicked us out of her house, we found ourselves just sitting on the sidewalk like a couple of bums. His arm was wrapped up in bandages and I had a few stitches on my back. I felt so embarrassed about what had happened, that I didn't try to speak to him about it. Peko came up to us eventually and stood in front of Fuyuhiko. "The chauffeur is waiting for us, are you ready to go?" What? Was this some sort of arranged marriage that they had? "Go ahead without me. I don't need a chauffeur, you didn't need to get him for me." Fuyuhiko spoke up from beside me. I felt extremely confused about this entire situation, I couldn't even speak.
"As you wish Young Master- I mean, Fuyuhiko" Peko quickly bowed and went on her way. My face went deadpan as I looked over at Fuyuhiko. Before I even started to speak, he started to explain. "I know you're confused, so I'll explain. Peko's... my bodyguard. The Kuzuryu klan adopted her as one of their own to protect me and that was her one true purpose. But I don't need her to be a tool to me, so we don't interact much at school." It explained everything. Why they were so close with each other, why she helped me when I sliced my foot, he was never giving her special attention!
"Oh... oh. I was such an idiot for no reason then! I thought you two were dating, so I got jealous and-" I stopped myself when I realized what I was saying. Was this a confession? "I've been meaning to ask you Kaz, what do you mean 'get my attention'? What did you want from me in the first place?" I think he knew what I meant but I couldn't bring myself to say the words. I took several deep breathes in and started a speech.
"For a while now, I've had feelings for you. I know it's kinda lame but I can't seem to control how I act around you. I felt so insanely jealous when I saw you laughing with her at school so I tried so hard to get your attention on me. I wanted you to look at me and think the things that I think about you! I'm not asking for anything straight away, but I'm just asking to see if we can try things out and... experiment?"
He just looked at me for a second and shut up. Then he started to laugh. "You're kidding right? Was I not being so obvious? I was gonna fucking kill myself with what I was feeling! I swear there's something about your electric eyes that make me want to die inside. Your so funny, even when you don't mean to be. I was losing so much air when you sliced your foot. If you ask Peko what we talked about most of the time, it's usually about your stupid face or your shark teeth, maybe your abs but I'm getting off topic now! I don't want to experiment, I just want YOU!"
His face grew redder by the second while I just stared at his deep green eyes. "...Y'know, you're eyes are pretty.." I tried to flirt with him just to ease out what I was feeling. He looked down with a small smirk growing on his face. "You wanna... uhm, kiss or whatever? I had been waiting for this question for too long. My eyes immediately lit up and I grabbed him by the vest and kissed him. Once he kissed my back, I felt so proud of myself. I kissed him, I did it! This was everything I'd ever dreamed of! His lips were so soft that it was almost perfect for a kiss.
Unfortunately while I was practically in heaven, Ibuki came from outside her house and started talking. "False alarm guys, my parents PLANE was leaving in thirty minutes! Can you believe-" Once she got a good look at the situation, we let go of each other and stopped kissing. Ibuki immediately got excited and started screaming. "Oh my god! You better include me in your vows! Fuyuhiko, you must be so glad I showed him that video of you in kiss, marry, kill! This entire night was so fun!" "You better shut the fuck up or I'll kill you!"