Chapter Text
The sun is beginning to set on a bustling village near the border in Xadia. Since the border had opened up this village had become a sort of a trading post for folks passing through- a place to get goods from Xadia and the human kingdoms alike.
Rayla had heard rumor in her travels of a mysterious cloaked young woman passing through here looking for some sort of rare ingredient. Claudia. It has to be.
She searched every dark corner and asked every salesperson she could find, but no one could give any definitive clues as to the woman’s whereabouts. Great, another dead end. Might as well move on and find another lead.
She heads out of the village and figures shed be better off finding a place to camp out for the night before it gets too dark. Somewhere she won’t be discovered, preferably. Eventually she comes across a clearing in the woods. Its bathed in the angelic glow of a pastel orange sunset. So beautiful. She stops for a moment to take it in before she feels a tugging at her heart at the memory of someone she used to enjoy watching sunsets like this with. She squeezes her eyes shut tight and shakes the memory away.
About to continue on her way, she is stopped in her tracks by a sudden rustling in the bushes nearby. She panics for a moment before flinging out her butterfly blades, holding them at the ready. Who followed me out here?
She inches cautiously towards the bush, swords aimed towards it. Before she can get any closer, the rustling intensifies and suddenly a tall figure leaps out at her and falls to the ground in front of her. Before she can process what it was that had jumped out at her, she aims her swords right at its chest. Then it hits her that she is staring down at a young skywing elf boy. He seems to be about her age, and now that she looks back, it was more of a clumsy stumbling out of the bushes than a threatening charge towards her. Still, what did he want with her? What was he doing out here?
She doesn’t move for a moment, swords still at the ready. He looks rightfully terrified, as the moment he opened his eyes and saw a sword at his chest he was begging her to spare him. There’s something about him, as she looks into his eyes, that seems oddly familiar. Something about the whole situation was giving her deja vu. But why?
Suddenly it dawns on her.
“Suroh?!”
“Rayla?”
Rayla immediately drops her arms and puts her swords away and they move in for a hug.
“Its been ages, how are you doin’? How are your parents?” Rayla asked cheerily. It felt good to see a familiar face again. She had forgotten what it felt like, being out here for a year now, to be around friends.
“I’m good! My parents are great, we’ve been exploring some places closer to the border now that its open. We’ve been having a great time!” He pauses a second. “So what brings you away from the Silvergrove?”
The question hits her like an arrow to the heart. She folds her arms shyly and shifts her gaze away from him, not wanting to let on how shes really feeling.
“Its a long story.” She says it shortly and sadly in hopes he won’t ask any follow up questions. Even thinking about it all made her heart ache for home, and she knew better than to let herself go down that road again. She had sworn off thinking about Katolis, or the Silvergrove, or her favorite mage boy. It hurt so much it would’ve made her head straight for home if she remembered him one more time.
Rayla dares to glance back up at him and curses herself for doing so. He has a concerned, saddened look in his eyes. A look that is so familiar that she wants to wince at seeing how much his big green eyes full of concern reminded her of someone else. Suroh takes a seat on a nearby log and pats the spot next to him.
“I’ve got a lot of time if you want to talk about it.”
Dammit. She wants to resist, to run away and not have to talk about this, but looking into his eyes she can see an innocent caring that made it too hard to fight spilling everything to him. She sighs and sits down next to him, resting her head in her hands.
“To tell you the truth, the Silvergrove hasn’t been home for a while now.”
“What do you mean?”
He must be able to tell that what happened to her since he saw her last was painful for her to talk about so he lets her take her time opening up. She hates that he can see through her that easily. What is it with curious young boys with green eyes and a sensitivity to her feelings that always got her spilling her guts?
“Its ok if you don’t wanna talk about it anymore. I can see that its eating at you, though, and I know whenever I have big feelings it helps to talk them out.”
Big feelings. She heard his voice echoing in her head. Dammit this kid and his penchant for being just like her favorite mage.
Once he said that she knew she couldn’t hold it back anymore, try as she might. She told him about everything. How her adventure with him and the bloodmoon huntress had inspired her to train to become an assassin just like Runaan. How that took her to the human kingdom of Katolis on a mission to kill the king and the prince as revenge for killing the dragon king and his egg. How she realized she didn’t have it in her to take a life that had done nothing wrong, and because of that she got her entire team killed. How it had crushed her to know that that simple realization would lead to her entire team being killed. How she was so determined to prove herself to them that she went charging into the castle anyway, looking for the crown prince so she could fulfill her duty.
How instead, she met a human boy that was kind and gentle and smart, and who had found a way to stall her long enough for them to discover something that would change everything.
How his brother- the exact prince she had been sent there to kill- showed them the egg of the dragon prince and allied themselves with her in pursuit of a greater mission. How through that shared mission the princes she was once tasked with killing became like family to her. How the boy she had once been determined to kill found a way to chip at the walls she had put up and make her feel like she mattered to someone again.
How he managed to take a hold of her heart and never let go.
How he had given her something she thought she would never have again- a home. A sense of belonging. A place- no, a person she wanted to get back to more than anything in the world.
But inevitably she had to get to the part that started to really hurt. A gigantic army approaching the storm spire. A dangerous dark mage that had plundered and destroyed the city of Lux Aurea. How for a moment it seemed like she would have to sacrifice herself to save the ones she loved. And how for another moment, there was hope. There was the beginnings of a quieter life, where she could live happily with her human mage. But how doubt and trauma inevitably creeped in and clouded her sunny days.
“But I left.” Rayla squeezes her eyes shut and looks away from him. She had been fighting tears through the entire story, but this part was too painful. She couldn’t stop a few stray tears from falling.
“Why?”
Rayla wiped the tears off her cheeks and looked back at him.
“When we went down to find Viren’s body we couldn’t find anything. I knew he was capable of great deceit. If there wasn’t a body then he had to be alive somehow. I knew I had to go find him by myself. To protect the people I love. People that special, that important…” She pauses, trying to move past the pain. “They have to be protected.”
They’re silent for a moment. Rayla wipes her tears away and tries to push all of those bad feelings back down where they won’t taunt her into abandoning her whole mission.
She glances over to Suroh. He seems like he’s working up the courage to say something. She nudges him.
There’s silence for a moment that seems to drag on forever. Now that she had gotten through the most painful part of all she tried to shove all that pain and sadness way back down in the depths of her heart where they couldn’t get out again. When she looked over to Suroh again she could tell he had something he was itching to say, but was hesitant to get out.
“Out with it, what is it you want to say?”
“Look, far be it from me to comment on a situation I don’t really know anything about, but if your human boy is that powerful, maybe he should’ve come with you? I mean, wouldn’t you be better together? Besides, if he cares that much about you I’m sure he wouldn’t want you out here all on your own.”
An anger bursts out of her chest like a tidal wave. Anger that he would be bold enough to say something like that. Anger that there is any part of her that agrees with him, that is screaming to say “he's right! Go home right now! Make everything better, like you never left!” Anger because no matter how much she wants to listen to that voice, she knows it can never be like it was.
She shoots up off the log, fists clenched tight. “You’re right, you are out of bounds. You have no idea what its been like for me. Viren took my parents from me, he took Runaan from me! I can’t let him have this family too. He’s my best friend, I can’t let anything happen to him!”
Rayla can see she startled the poor kid. He was visibly wincing, a scared look in his eyes. She sighs and lets her hands fall and sits back down on the log.
“Sorry, its just...it hurts so much to be away from him. Of course it does, I love him more than anythin’.” She pauses. Something her parents had told her a long time ago echoes in her mind. “But I have to make this sacrifice, so I can be sure he doesn’t have to.”
Silence again. As if Suroh is still digesting the long story she had just told. He hesitates a moment and sits back down next to her. Rayla looks away, once again resting her head in her hands.
“I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I guess I just wish there was a way for me to help you the way you helped me get my family back. You know, there was a moment back then where I thought I’d never see my family again, either. But then I met a very friendly and caring moonshadow girl that showed me that you can always find your way back home.”
Rayla looked up at him, a bit surprised by the comment. It stung. It pulled at her heart. He couldn’t know how deep a hurt she had created when she left.
“That’s a nice thought, Suroh, but I’m afraid the way I left things I don’t have any right to go back even if I wanted to.” She can’t bear to look at him when she says it. He reminds her way too much of him.
He places a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“I may not know your mage boy, but he sure sounds like the kind of guy that will never stop loving you.”
This statement was truly jarring to her. She looked up at him again, this time not able to stop a few more tears from falling. Hes annoyingly correct, she knows that deep down. But even the thought that he was back in Katolis, waiting for her, missing her, hurts even more than the idea that he would have moved on.
They sit in silence a few minutes longer, Rayla knowing that if she says anything more she’ll truly break down and cry. Suroh glances up and notices the sunset has nearly entirely faded into darkness.
“Well I have to be going, my family will be wondering where I went. But it was nice to see you, Rayla. I hope someday you find the strength to go back.” He pats her on the shoulder, freezing there for a moment. Rayla wants to wince, the look on his face is heavy with pity and sorrow. Trying to give her hope for something she has sworn off thinking about ever again.
She gives him a small, sad smile. “Thanks. Tell your parents I say hi.”
As Suroh starts to move back towards the town, Rayla shouts over to him.
“Wait, Suroh, one more thing.” Suroh stops and turns to look at Rayla.
“You’re really lucky to have a family like yours. Hold on to them.”
Suroh nods and smiles at her before continuing on his way back to his own camp.
Rayla stands in the clearing, watching him leave. As she finds herself alone again she feels that familiar emptiness tugging at her heart that she’s been trying to ignore for a year now. She never realized how much like him Suroh is. Being so sensitive and gentle and kind, looking at her with green eyes that were so much like the ones that could see into her soul. It reminded her that there was a gaping hole in her heart that had gotten there when she had first left, and now that she had been reminded of that it only felt bigger.
Once she can’t see him anymore, she starts walking back into the forest. She had let the sun set too much to keep walking so she decided she’d just tuck away for the night in the woods nearby. She started looking around for firewood when she suddenly heard the faint sound of a baby animal cry. It was a cry that, though it was definitely animal, was familiar. The sound of someone who was scared and alone. She knew she had to investigate. She followed the sound as best she could, searching up and down and all around for what it could be coming from. The sound gets louder and louder until it sounds like its coming from right in front of her. She stops and looks around frantically.
Then, suddenly, there.
A baby cuddlemonkey, tucked in between the tall grass and the roots of a tree. The poor thing looked terrified, trying to hide from the tall elf that was looming over her. Almost as if she had been hidden here by a mother that never came back. That had to be it. She knew the look in its eyes only too well.
“Hey there, precious little thing. What are you doin’ out here all alone?” Rayla crouches down and stretches out her hand to the cuddlemonkey as gently as she can, trying her best not to scare her any further. Upon her sudden movement, the cuddlemonkey flinches and coils even more into herself.
“Its okay, I won’t hurt you. I know what you’ve been through. My parents were taken from me when I was young, too.”
The cuddlemonkey loosens up just enough to look up at Rayla. Rayla can tell she understands, but is still hesitant to trust her.
“Its okay, I’ll take care of you. You don’t have to be alone anymore.”
The cuddlemonkey ponders a bit longer before putting one of her little paws in hers. Rayla smiles and scoops the baby up in her arms and cradles her gently. Looking down at the baby cuddlemonkey that is now nestling into her chest, she suddenly feels a warmth that she has been missing for a year now. A feeling that Suroh had tried to stir in her, but that her walls would not allow to get through. But this little baby, this precious creature, trusted her now. She knew now that so long as she had this little baby to take care of, she knew she’d never feel that tugging loneliness quite so much.