Chapter Text
“Later!”
The words hung in the icy air as a blonde haired soul with piercing red eyes lowered his raised hand, turning away from his lover a boy with green hair that curled in what if’s.
Katsuki let his hand linger a little too long in goodbye before turning back to Kirishima, Kaminari, Mina, and Sero, all waiting in cheers to get a look at his fancy new ride. Everyone seemed to admire its shiny crimson finish and the way it reeked of privilege; the car seemed to elevate his status in an invisible way that bought him stares and admiration. Katsuki didn’t care, because money could buy many things but it couldn’t buy the gaze of…best not to let himself consider such painful thoughts.
A haze of spiky red hair was by his side, slinging a shoulder around Katsuki’s with a smile. Kirishima presented a toothy grin then said something that Katsuki couldn’t quite process.
“What?” Katsuki sounded annoyed, but it was no different from his usual tone.
“Can we go to a bar, you know, for an after party!” Kirishima spoke enthusiastically.
“No. You’re all drunk enough,” Katsuki sat in the driver’s seat with Kirishima sliding into the passenger; Sero, Mina, and Kaminari in the back talking nonsense.
“Pleaseee Bakugooo,” Kirishima slurred his words a little bit. But he wasn’t totally drunk; Katsuki could tell the difference. “It’s rare we get to hang out like this, anyway.”
“If you wanted to go, you should’ve driven there yourself. I have to be up early to pick up Edgeshot anyway.”
“Aww, fine,” Kirishima leaned in the seat, tilting his head towards the back. “Looks like Mina’s out anyway,” he nodded towards the slumped figure in the back, resting her head on Kaminari’s shoulder.
Katsuki shifted the mirrors and kept his hands on the wheel, watching the three in the back. In some sense, being in the car with his friends felt like old times in UA. Nostalgia pooled in his throat and he quickly diverted his gaze back to the road. Though he would be lying if he didn’t admit that part of him missed hanging out with his old classmates, studying late at night in the dorms and being dragged to movie nights every Friday.
“Hey, we should do this again,” Kaminari spoke up from the middle seat in the back, careful not to move too much so as not to disturb the sleeping Mina. “Even if it’s not the whole class, just the five of us. And maybe Jirou, too.”
Sero grinned. “For sure. I miss Bakusquad hangouts.”
“Don’t call it that,” Katsuki grunted. But that was basically his agreement to the idea.
Ignoring Katsuki’s retort, Kirishima smiled back at Kaminari. “Yea, and inviting Jirou’s cool. She’s basically part of the squad.”
“Okay,” Kaminari nodded, the lightning shaped scar on his cheek flickering slightly in the darkness of the car. “Also, like, I gotta tell you guys something,” he said nervously.
Sero perked up with a knowing grin and Kaminari shot him a look.
“Jirou and I are dating,” Kaminari failed to contain his smile.
“WHAT!” Mina, suddenly awake, was shaking Kaminari’s shoulder. “Ohmygosh I knew it! She so liked you, I could totally tell!” She punched Kaminari’s shoulder with enthusiasm. “And you weren’t gonna wake me up to tell me! You’re fake, Kami!!” Kaminari smiled and muttered that he would’ve told her after.
“Congrats, man. Jirou’s cool,” Kirishima grinned. Bakugo shrugged in approval.
“I knew it,” Sero smiled. “That’s why I asked earlier.”
“Well I wasn’t about to say it in front of the whole class,” Kaminari feigned annoyance. “Plus, we’re kinda trying to keep it under wraps since we gotta be professional, and everything. So don’t go spilling my business,” he added, though everyone in the group would always keep a secret.
“Omgofcourse!” Mina squealed. “Aww, you two are so cute together! You should totally come out with it at some point though, I know you’d get so much media attention–and you still have to tell us how it happened and everything–”
“Pinky,” Katsuki interjected. The car had stopped and they were outside the apartment complex that Mina, Sero, and Kaminari lived in. Sero and Kaminari lived in apartments across from each other and Mina lived on another floor. Bakugo was sometimes somewhat jealous of the fact that they all were only an elevator ride away from each other…but it was fine, because they still invited him to hangouts. Even if it wasn’t like before.
“Oh, right. Thanks for the ride, Bakubabe!” Mina cheered happily, swaying as she got out of the car. Katsuki had told her to lay off the drinks, but she’d ignored his chiding. Kaminari slung a shoulder around her and smiled a goodbye, and Sero waved, his other arm around Mina.
Katsuki watched as the three walked up the stairs and made sure they entered the apartment building before driving out to the freeway. He lived an hour away on the other side of town, a few blocks away from his agency, and Kirishima lived about twenty minutes away from his apartment. Alone in the car with the red head, Katsuki switched on the radio as whatever new, trendy music started to play. Sweater Weather – The Neighborhood filled the lonesome drive.
His mind drifted to Kaminari and Jirou. He’d known they had obvious crushes on each other–in fact, the whole class had known. Vaguely, he felt a sense of happiness for Kaminari because though he’d never admit it, he liked the electric hero. But the other part of him was filled with a clawing feeling that he tried to shove down–an anger burning in his stomach because why was it that Kaminari got to be happy with Jirou, when he couldn’t be happy with…?
He didn’t notice Kirishima turning the radio down until he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder.
“Hey, aren’t you on watch about your hearing anyway? No wonder your ears are getting bad. The music’s so loud it’s literally hurting my head, dude.” Kirishima looked out the window at the bright lights of the city that could be seen across the freeway.
“It’s not loud. Your ears are weak,” Katsuki retorted, but he didn’t turn the music back up.
“For sure,” Kirishima shrugged. “So, Kami and Jirou. Who would’ve guessed?”
“Everyone, obviously. The idiots were pining for each other for years. It’s honestly stupid it took this long for them to get together.” Stupid…stupid that they get to be happy and together while I’m…
“Yea,” Kirishima laughed. “I’ve been telling Kami to just ask her out forever.”
Katuski grunted in response, keeping his eyes glued to the freeway.
Kirishima turned to look at the blonde, how his hands gripped the wheel a little too tight to be normal. His red irises were sharply focused like they needed to be, like they needed something to grab onto because their universe had shattered.
“Hey.” Kirishima’s voice instantly went to that soft tone he used when Mina was crying, or when Kaminari was upset, or when Sero was stressed out. “Did something happen?”
“No,” Katsuki said immediately. A little too fast for someone who was supposed to be unbothered.
“Come on, Katsuki,” Ejirou used his first name like he did when he was serious. And it was true that there was no one but Ejirou that Katsuki confided in–but how could he tell him that the reason he was out of orbit was because…he didn’t even want to describe it.
“I’m tired. Class A is a lot to deal with,” Katsuki muttered, only half true. Yes, large parties and events with many people could drain his social battery quickly, but he’d been okay at the party. He’d teased Shoto (though was secretly proud of his high rating) and yelled at Iida for being controlling, but he’d generally enjoyed himself. Except for when his stare would wander a little to the right, where he could see a certain green–eyed boy not being able to tear his gaze from a brown haired girl with rosy cheeks…
“Mhmm,” Ejirou nodded, drumming his hands on the shiny interior of the Porsche. “Is it…is it because Midoriya said no earlier?”
Damn. That name. Why’d he have to say the name?
“No.”
Why was it that that name had this effect on Katsuki; why did it make the mix of emotions shoved down in his chest want to explode in a flurry of color?
Katsuki cleared his throat and squeezed his palms. Control. Ejirou will be able to tell.
“I have enough people at my agency. I was just doing him a favour asking if he wanted to join.”
Would Ejirou notice how he could never really bring himself to say the name anymore?
“Yea, ok.” Ejirou shifted, pretending he wasn’t studying Katsuki’s figure more closely. “But you know, if something’s going on, you don’t have to hide it.”
Yea right. Even if I told you, you wouldn’t even be able to do anything.
“Seriously, Katsuki, it helps to get things off your chest.”
“It’s fine, Shitty Hair.” The nickname rolled off his tongue as did a storm of memories of their days at UA.
Ejirou nodded, though Katsuki caught the hint of disappointment in his expression. They used to tell each other everything–quite literally. They’d been each other’s confidants in high school.
At night, when no one else was in the common rooms on the weekends, Katsuki would begrudgingly break his strict sleep schedule to stay up and watch movies with Ejirou–which would sometimes lead to tearful conversations when the red head would confess his insecurities and past and current struggles to Katsuki. Other nights, Katsuki would admit through a sea of insults, his inferiority complex and need to be better than everyone so that he didn’t feel left behind, and how sometimes his nights were still plagued with nightmares from the final battle. They would wake up together in one of their rooms, and go back to their usual selves in front of everyone else. But the closeness they shared was a bond incomprehensible to others.
Soulmates, Katsuki had decided, didn’t always have to be romantic.
But now Katsuki refused to tell Ejirou what was on his mind. And it wasn’t even the first time since graduation–they’d grown apart (Katsuki hated to admit) in the distance when each other’s comfort was no longer a knock down the hallway.
The thoughts he had and the feelings he hadn’t bothered to decipher shoved down in his chest were too much to acknowledge. And he didn’t want his thoughts surfacing to tease and mock him with the emerald eyes of a pure boy he didn’t deserve…
Kirishima had turned the radio back up, and they continued the ride in silence until Katsuki went down the exit to Kirishima’s apartment complex.
“Thanks for the ride, man,” Kirishima unbuckled his seatbelt. “We’ll hang out soon?” He said, a question more than a statement.
“Yea. If the rest of them manage to make plans,” Katsuki agreed.
“Cool. See you, Bakugo.”
“Yea.”
Katsuki watched to make sure Kirishima got inside before driving back on the freeway to his own apartment.
The city lit up in a beautiful array of neon colors, pinks, cyans, and yellows flashing advertisements–some even the familiar faces of his classmates, now pro–heroes.
Katsuki had most of what he’d dreamed of, really. Who wouldn’t be happy with a pro–hero rating in the top twenty, their own agency, fancy cars, fans lining up to meet him–he really had all that he could have dreamed of.
Except company.
Except the eyes of a childhood memory that had been long since pushed to the side and ignored, blazed in the back of his mind with longing.
If only he’d spoken sooner at UA. If only he’d caught the boy by his hand at the graduation after party. If only he hadn’t pushed him away when they were kids, if only he’d had the courage to reach over and run to him when he’d said goodbye tonight–
Forget it. You’re torturing yourself.
Katsuki turned up the radio and took the exit to his apartment.