Chapter Text
“And then she said, ‘being tired doesn’t constitute an emergency’, and some other unimportant stuff. But still you know, anyways…”
Hermes rambles like this all the time to Odysseus, sometimes it’s when he is about to sleep, or when he just woke up. When isn’t really a limiting factor when it comes to Hermes. Normally Odysseus wouldn’t mind his rambling, it was comforting actually, even if he didn’t get a chance to speak. But today was different, today felt different.
“Nevermind Dionysus I said, why doesn’t he get that treatment? Then she said-”
“BY THE GODS HERMES CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR ONE MOMENT”
“I-”
“NO ONE CARES HOW FLUFFED YOUR HEAD WINGS ARE, OR THE NAME OF WHATEVER IMAGINARY FRIEND YOU THINK YOU HAVE”
At this point Hermes descended a couple feet lower. Hand holding tighter against his elbow, every word Odysseus says. Wings fluttering slightly slower, feet growing stiller by the second.
“This day has been tough for me, so if you would be quiet for just a moment, that would be greatly appreciated.”
Odysseus adds a sarcastic smile to the end of his sentence, not seeming to notice that this just makes Hermes more uncomfortable with the situation.
Odysseus continued walking forward, Hermes just hovered. Thinking. Odysseus quickly noticed the lack of fluttering wings, air whooshing around him, or even just the sound of his breathing. But as he looked back, Hermes was already preparing to leave.
“Well! I’ll leave y- you to it then darling.”
He tried putting on the most sincere smile he could muster up in this state. Guilt quickly pooling up in his gut as he noticed Hermes’ very obviously fake smile.
“Wai-”
He already left, carrying the words Odysseus just pierced him with. Still frozen from a mix of guilt, shock, and — although he won’t admit it – maybe the tiniest bit of missing his warmth. Hermes always did that with his words. Always managing to fill Ody with a sense of warmth, and safety. And he ruined all of it, how could he be this stupid.
━ ✹ ━ ✹ ━ ✹ ━ ✹ ━ ✹ ━ ✹ ━ ✹ ━ ✹ ━ ✹ ━
Rushing home with teary eyes, he completely forgot about the letters, the messages, and everything else he needs to do. But right now, he couldn’t care less. He just needs to get home, but everywhere he looks, everywhere his mind wanders, he keeps circling back to that moment.
“CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR ONE MOMENT”
He didn’t mean that right? Why would he mean that? He just had a bad day is all. He just needs some peace and quiet, Hermes can just come back tomorrow, no problem. Before he spirals into the ground while literally in the air, he lands on his windowsill.
Home.
Safe, familiar, protected Home.
Dropping his bag and helmet to who knows where on the floor, Hermes drops onto his bed. And he doesn’t hold back the tears anymore. Tears like waterfalls fall from his eyes. Sobbing loudly into his pillow, probably loud enough for others to hear outside his room, he let himself go. Let go of all self-control, let go of his thoughts. It’s a dangerous thing to be free with your thoughts, in a room where you’re your own enemy.
But thinking is all he could do now, he suddenly lost all his energy for the day. He didn’t even question it, why is he asking so many questions? Why did he just leave back there? He didn’t even speak with Ody? No. Ody wanted him gone, he was annoying, loud, unlovable. He needed peace and quiet, and Hermes only took that from him, why would he ever want him near again? Hermes never wanted to be a burden, someone who pushes his problems unto others. He was never going to be that person.
He was going to change. He couldn’t stay like this forever, no one wants someone like this. A burden he was going to be no more. He wasn’t going to be a burden for the king anymore. Standing up and regaining composure, he grabbed his bag and helmet, and prepared to leave.
“A burden no more” kept echoing in his mind. Like a constant reminder he can’t turn off. He needed to drop the energetic act. It was only draining those around him, he can’t keep up this facade.